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I finally made an account here after lurking for about a year. My skin was pretty great in my teens, I had some acne during my junior and senior year because I ate a whole mess of crap and got an average of 3 hours of sleep due to stress and depression, but even then it wasn't all that bad, I could go out without makeup and still feel okay. When I graduated from high school I tried to get healthy again, but unfortunately got into an accident that left me severely depressed. For about a year I locked myself in my room and only went out to buy more junk food and for my doctors appointment . Whenever I went out I would wear makeup and not wash it off. In fact I didn't really shower all that often. i never ate anything of nutritional value and would sleep at 7 am then wake up and go straight to the computer until I was so tired I had to sleep again. So pretty much for about a year I fucked up my body so me getting acne is no surprise. But now it's been a year since I've tried to gain my health and confidence back, I've cut back on junk food, started eating veggies and fruit, taking vitamins, drinking matcha green tea, taking digestive enzymes and probiotics, using gentle products with antioxidants etc etc. I think I'm healthier now than I was before the accident, and although my skin has gotten healthier, I still get acne and cystic acne and it gets me so upset. What makes me even sadder is that I have so many acne scars, I actually wouldn't mind having a zit every now and then if it wasn't for all the scars making my face look 10x worse. I'm still working on being myself again but I've gotten so insecure because along with my acne I gained a lot of weight. I actually kind of see my acne as something that helped me get my life and health back after being severely depressed, but now It's a nuisance because I've learned so much and I just want to be able to put it all behind me and feel cute. I just want to look the way I did before I got super depressed which is ironic since I used to think I was the ugliest thing haha. But that's my story and I'm still on this journey and typing this up has made me feel better.

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That's what this forum is for. Feel free to vent away!

I think it is always very courageous when people share their stories and struggles with acne. As common a skin condition it is, it can really hold a person back from some great life experiences. I think it is awesome that you have slowly started making the changes to make a better life for yourself. Keep on it, girl! :)

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Thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better about yourself. Depression is real. I have struggled with it on and off my whole adult life. A lot of what you said reminded me of my story. I hope you are able to get your skin clear but most importantly I hope you learn to love and accept yourself for who you are. We all have flaws and things we dislike about ourselves. We have to learn how to handle our perceived flaws in a way that it doesn't take over our lives. Good luck on your journey. 

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I still don't know how to work this website, but thank-you both for reading and the encouragement, I could't agree more with the learning to accept yourself part.

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