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I wasn't obsessed with the state of my skin until my first semester of college where my skin began breaking out terrible. I put up with it for a few months and then dragged myself to my very first dermatology appointment. My doctor was well educated and nice. He prescribed me clindamycin solution, retin-a cream, and the prescription drug, Oracea. My skin became absolutely flawless for about a year and then I started to break out again and it just continued to get worse. I was convinced it stopped working so a different dermatologist (I had moved states) put me on 100 mg of doxycycline and I think that just made my skin worse. I kept with it for 6 months and then she switched me to minocycline. Then April of last year I saw ANOTHER dermatologist and she put me back on Oracea. However, some part of me decided to take both the minocycline and Oracra. My skin was flawless until about this past December. I have switched to a new face wash a few weeks ago and my skin is breaking out almost everyday. Not terriblybad just enough for me to want to give up on the product. The current state of my skin completely controls me. When my skin is clear I'm carefree and focused and successful and happy and when it isn't I'm plagued with severe anxiety that it makes it hard to eat, I dream about my skin, I avoid any activity that could make me break out, and I find myself thinking about my skin every single hour. I have another dermatology appointment next week and I am so ashamed that I let myself mentally get to this point. I'm worried that for the rest of my life I won't be able to enjoy it because of the way my skin is. I've vented to my boyfriend and he doesn't understand and it frustrates him so I just need more opinions. Im considering going to a psychologist or a therapist because I can't imagine what my mental state will be like in a year or if my skin ever gets worse
On February 15, 2016 at 2:02 PM, destinyreanne said:The current state of my skin completely controls me. When my skin is clear I'm carefree and focused and successful and happy and when it isn't I'm plagued with severe anxiety that it makes it hard to eat, I dream about my skin, I avoid any activity that could make me break out, and I find myself thinking about my skin every single hour. I have another dermatology appointment next week and I am so ashamed that I let myself mentally get to this point. I'm worried that for the rest of my life I won't be able to enjoy it because of the way my skin is. I've vented to my boyfriend and he doesn't understand and it frustrates him so I just need more opinions. Im considering going to a psychologist or a therapist because I can't imagine what my mental state will be like in a year or if my skin ever gets worse
This is exactly how I feel. I wake up from dreams some nights freaking out because I think that I've developed more skin issues, but I realize it was just a dream. I know exactly where the issues are on my face because of how often I obsessively look and pick at it in the mirror. Some mornings I don't even want to get up and have to look at my skin. I get so depressed whenever my skin is bad, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything and I feel bad that my boyfriend has to deal with it. He's wanted to do so much like go on walks in the park and take me places during the day, but I completely avoid him unless it's nighttime. The sun is setting much later now because it's spring and it's my worst nightmare. My skin isn't even that bad, but I just want it to be flawless. I won't be happy until it is, and it never will be. I pick at it until it's raw trying to get rid of anything I think is an issue. I seriously don't think I go more than 5 minutes without thinking about my skin or what others think about my skin. Really just want to find something that works for me and be happy.
20 hours ago, Helplessfloat said:On 2/15/2016 at 11:02 AM, destinyreanne said:The current state of my skin completely controls me. When my skin is clear I'm carefree and focused and successful and happy and when it isn't I'm plagued with severe anxiety that it makes it hard to eat, I dream about my skin, I avoid any activity that could make me break out, and I find myself thinking about my skin every single hour. I have another dermatology appointment next week and I am so ashamed that I let myself mentally get to this point. I'm worried that for the rest of my life I won't be able to enjoy it because of the way my skin is. I've vented to my boyfriend and he doesn't understand and it frustrates him so I just need more opinions. Im considering going to a psychologist or a therapist because I can't imagine what my mental state will be like in a year or if my skin ever gets worse
This is exactly how I feel. I wake up from dreams some nights freaking out because I think that I've developed more skin issues, but I realize it was just a dream. I know exactly where the issues are on my face because of how often I obsessively look and pick at it in the mirror. Some mornings I don't even want to get up and have to look at my skin. I get so depressed whenever my skin is bad, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything and I feel bad that my boyfriend has to deal with it. He's wanted to do so much like go on walks in the park and take me places during the day, but I completely avoid him unless it's nighttime. The sun is setting much later now because it's spring and it's my worst nightmare. My skin isn't even that bad, but I just want it to be flawless. I won't be happy until it is, and it never will be. I pick at it until it's raw trying to get rid of anything I think is an issue. I seriously don't think I go more than 5 minutes without thinking about my skin or what others think about my skin. Really just want to find something that works for me and be happy.
We sound very similar. My skin is not bad either. When I wrote this I had two breakouts that I had picked at too much. The past month has been an uphill battle. I was prescribed a new medication called Nicazel and its been helping my skin and I have begun seeing a therapist which I also think is helping. I highly suggest you start seeing one as well because I have gotten to the point that even when I do have good skin I am unhappy because I am either resenting all of the time I have wasted being upset and anxious or I am too busy being anxious about the possibility of breaking out again. I struggle every day if not every hour and fighting your anxiety is the best thing you can do. It's not easy and it is not fair but I'm hoping for a light at the end of the tunnel and I am hoping one day I will be a better person for this.