I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this.. I know first hand too that it can be really hard to wrap your head around a treatment. I myself have sensitive skin, I cannot tolerate almost ANY moisturizer or treatment of any sort. Let alone an oral medication as irritating as accutane. It gets me down at times, but other times I do pretty good~ I get the same way thinking "How am I ever going to find a boyfriend/partner if I can't even feel comfortable with myself." Truth is, I don't need one right now, I need to focus on myself, I have plenty of time in the future after working on me to find a partner, and believe me.. you're young, so do you (:

As for your treatments, the first thing you should do is work on your depression, acne is a skin condition, and yes it friggin sucks.. but how you feel and how you perceive yourself is originated in the mind. You can change your perspective about yourself even if you do have acne. So I honestly think talking to someone is you best choice to start.

Also some good news about seb derm is that accutane is actually listed as a treatment, and quite an effective one! Discuss this with your derm, but I've seen on many places that since it dries up oil production that it can also greatly improve the condition.

Where you are right now maybe you won't be a candidate for accutane... but that's not saying you will never be, especially if you start talking to the right people. Your derm and psychologist would know that acne is likely a cause for a lot of your depression, and they would take this into account. Don't count yourself out before you've even started! Even if you can't take accutane right now, at least you would know where you stand, and would be talking to someone about how you feel. Which would definitely be a step in the right direction. (:

Thank you so so much for your reply, I honestly appreciate it. I love your advice on working on myself before looking for a partner; it kind of gave me a sense of...relief, haha.

I just feel so lost right now. My depression is crippling me but I know that it's caused by my dreadful, numerous skin issues - and as they continue to get worse, so does my mentality. If I woke up with perfect skin, I would honestly be fine -- everything else in my life was going so amazingly well before this all flared up, which is probably why I'm finding this so hard.

I'm a disaster right now and so ashamed of myself, but I don't see any way out. Accutane could be step one to eliminating the acne, then I could move on to focusing on the scarring, then the dermatitus/redness... But I panic when I realize just how much work I'm going to need done and how I can't cope for another week, yet alone another 6 months on accutane then 6 months before I can start anything else..

I need a miracle now.

In terms of the Accutane, it is highly unlikely that given your current emotional state, the dermatologist would prescribe you Accutane. I remember when I was on Accutane and I had to see the dermatologist every 8 weeks, he wasnt gravely concerned with the side effects I was experiencing (dry skin, red eyes), what he really wanted to know was since I have taken Accutane, whether I experienced any depression symptoms. He would always make sure of this even though he knew I have never suffered from it in my life. It is always a concern for dermatologists.

This is why I definitely echo what GarrettRyan has said, work on improving other aspects of your life as well as seeing the psychiatrist, and Im sure in a couple of months you will be in a happier state of mind. Then I would look to see if you are eligible for Accutane. You will have a better chance of the dermatologist prescribing it to you and any obstacles Accutane throws at you, you will be much stronger in dealing with it.

Hope that helps.

Hi there Oswald,

I really relate to what you're going through, and I, too, get very upset and angry at how unfair it all is. I also have depression and am somewhat frightened as to what may happen if I go on Accutune. Well, I actually DID go on Accutane for a short while, 3 years ago, but had to stop within the first month due to another health issue (heart condition). I did notice that I felt emotionally very flat while taking the Accutane, for even that short time, but I also felt happy when I looked in the mirror because my skin started to clear straight away, and I didn't have an initial breakout. I felt very sad when I had to stop the Accutane without finishing the course.

3 years on, acne is still ruining my life. I am a student and have very little money to spend on expensive treatments and so on, so I can't try that avenue. Accutane would be so easy if I could just take it. It's hard when you have pre-existing depression and when you want to take Accutane. Derms are very weary about this, and it is good that they are weary.

Just don't be so harsh on yourself, Oswald. You are strong and brave for going through all of this. I know exactly how hard it is to never want to look at yourself in the mirror and to feel like acne complete controls everything. But things will get better for you. Just take care of yourself, and speak to a professional about how you are feeling. I truly believe one day soon you will have that clear skin you that deserve.