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Can't Stop Beating Myself Up!

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Uggh, I'm so aggravated. Last Tuesday morning I had a late appointment so I had plenty of time to shower, relax, have my coffee, etc. Well, I showered and because I take a hot shower I usually sit and have my coffee or whatever and let my face rest since it's usually red from the hot shower. Well, this day I looked in the mirror and then for some odd reason I tried putting on my makeup then. Well, I had a couple of little things on my face that morning - - nothing too significant, but it was just the two things that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I had had enough of waking up every morning to small things so I ended up having a panic attack and was not able to calm down. Then I went on the computer and was looking up horrible things just magnifying my anxiety. I know anxiety is the cause of 90% of my problem and once I was in that state it was very hard to get back out. I ended up waking up Wednesday and my skin was clear and I had a great day BUT because of all of the anxiety on Tuesday, I now have three cysts on my neck. I want a "do-over" so badly but obviously that is not going to happen. It is my son's school vacation this week and I have done nothing with him but sit in the house and pout and just re-think what I did wrong. My face is pretty clear so I would have been out with him every day and just enjoying myself but NOOOOO, now I have to wait for all of this crappy stuff on my face to heal and fade which will take time and I'm just so done with this. I suffer from BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) too so this is even making it more horrible for me. Just wanted to rant to people that would understand because my husband just keeps saying, "It's a pimple on your face, so what"!!

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people without acne don't get it...at all

but even with active acne and scars, you have to get out, get some sunshine and enjoy the time with your family....if that doesn't come easity to you, you really have to force yourself to get out and LIVE....don't let acne rob you of that

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I feel the same. I have this HUGE inflamed, red, and scabby looking pimple right next to my eyebrow in the middle of my face. I'm debating if I'm canceling plans tomorrow because of it. Nobody without acne really does get it. They're all like, "It's just a zit, nobody cares!" I care. I don't care if anyone else does I DO. There's nothing wrong with ranting. I need to rant all the time; it helps get out stress.

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