Notifications
Clear all

Bdd, Acne, And Meds...help

 
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/08/2013 6:58 pm

I went to a psychiatrist on Tuesday to try and get back in some sort of treatment for my mental instabilities. Right now my biggest struggle is Body Dysmorphic Disorder regarding my face/skin. Anyways, my psych decided to put me back on medications that I know triggered my acne a couple years ago. I'm on a few meds, but the one that causes acne is Lithium, so I haven't been taking it. There is plenty of research that confirms my fears and proves that Lithium causes inflammatory acne in at least 1/3 of people. It's really frustrating because that medication has helped me soooo much in the past, and now I'm too terrified to take it.

The logic that everyone is trying to get me to buy into is that, my skin isn't bad and it only became an issue when I relapsed back into BDD thought cycles and behaviors. So, even if Lithium caused me to have some acne, it didn't matter because I was functioning better as a human being and was able to handle being slightly uncomfortable. Therefore if I was able to take the Lithium, and manage my anxiety with other medications, then everything will work out better in the long run. Sounds all nice and neat when you put it like that, but my mind is not letting me put stock in those suggestions. My belief is that when my skin is better (a.k.a. completely 100% clear), everything will be okay.

So, instead of taking Lithium, I take Seroquel. Which still has a tiny chance of causing acne, but in less than 2% of patients. Still scares the living wits out of me, but I'm taking the lesser of the two evils I suppose. Ugh god. I'm really in such a horrible place right now, I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I guess is there anyone who can relate? Or has dealt with something like this?

Any and all replies are really appreciated. I feel so alone in all of this. Xo

Quote
MemberMember
1
(@mdp703)

Posted : 08/08/2013 9:10 pm

I think there are many of us who suffer on the continuum of BDD. We become hyper focused on our skin and do not see our appearance accurately. We assume we have more severe acne than we do and we assume we look ugly even when others do not view us this way.

Medication can be helpful (although there is currently no medication approved by the FDA for BDD as far as I know). However, I would more strongly recommend psychotherapy with a qualified doctoral psychologist with expertise in the area. Medication can calm anxiety, but it's not going to help you see yourself more accurately. Psychotherapy can help you understand what's happening, stop thoughts and behaviors that contribute, such as mirror checking. It can also help us build our self esteem which is often abolished by our perception of ourselves due to acne.

Bodie81 liked
Quote
MemberMember
5
(@jekester)

Posted : 08/08/2013 9:36 pm

 

I use to take seroquel, it never caused me acne. I was on it for about 2 years I think and never got acne. I only ever got any noticable acne about 8 months after stopping ( not related to seroquel ). I use to have a lot worse BDD when I was 15 to, it's not as bad as it is now but it's kind of relapsing due to my acne and I'm not viewing myself correctly.

 

 

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/08/2013 10:07 pm

I think there are many of us who suffer on the continuum of BDD. We become hyper focused on our skin and do not see our appearance accurately. We assume we have more severe acne than we do and we assume we look ugly even when others do not view us this way.

Medication can be helpful (although there is currently no medication approved by the FDA for BDD as far as I know). However, I would more strongly recommend psychotherapy with a qualified doctoral psychologist with expertise in the area. Medication can calm anxiety, but it's not going to help you see yourself more accurately. Psychotherapy can help you understand what's happening, stop thoughts and behaviors that contribute, such as mirror checking. It can also help us build our self esteem which is often abolished by our perception of ourselves due to acne.

Thank you so much for responding. I know there are no medications for BDD, I also struggle with other mental illness that I take medications for. I have been strongly encouraged to go back to therapy, I'm just having trouble leaving the house. Therefore the point is moot, if I make appointments that i can't keep :( I'm hoping that my meds can help my anxiety and put me on the right track to conquering my problems both emotionally and acne related!

I use to take seroquel, it never caused me acne. I was on it for about 2 years I think and never got acne. I only ever got any noticable acne about 8 months after stopping ( not related to seroquel ). I use to have a lot worse BDD when I was 15 to, it's not as bad as it is now but it's kind of relapsing due to my acne and I'm not viewing myself correctly.

Well that's good to hear that it didn't cause you acne! I've been on seroquel for five years, but the dose has never been this high. I mostly used it for sleep, but now we're trying to use it as a substitute for Lithium. I was worried that the higher the dosage the more likely the chance to have acne related issues. Hopefully that's not the case!

Quote
MemberMember
6
(@jj)

Posted : 08/08/2013 11:39 pm

Hey Rosalie,

Having BDD related to my acne and mild acne scarring I can relate. I not only worry about whether medications can trigger my acne, but also diet, sweating etc. - not a nice way to live when you are constantly panicking. I have taken fluoxetine (Prozac) for a long time and have never noticed it worsening my acne. There are plenty of different antidepressants/drugs to try - don't feel like lithium is your only option.

I've actually just started on Seroquel as well and was a bit concerned but there doesn't seem to be a strong link. Plus the only way you'll know is if you try, you can always switch to something else if it is breaking you out.

BTW if you want to talk or need some support etc. with your BDD, feel free to drop me a PM. I have been dealing with BDD for over 10 years.

I went to a psychiatrist on Tuesday to try and get back in some sort of treatment for my mental instabilities. Right now my biggest struggle is Body Dysmorphic Disorder regarding my face/skin. Anyways, my psych decided to put me back on medications that I know triggered my acne a couple years ago. I'm on a few meds, but the one that causes acne is Lithium, so I haven't been taking it. There is plenty of research that confirms my fears and proves that Lithium causes inflammatory acne in at least 1/3 of people. It's really frustrating because that medication has helped me soooo much in the past, and now I'm too terrified to take it.

The logic that everyone is trying to get me to buy into is that, my skin isn't bad and it only became an issue when I relapsed back into BDD thought cycles and behaviors. So, even if Lithium caused me to have some acne, it didn't matter because I was functioning better as a human being and was able to handle being slightly uncomfortable. Therefore if I was able to take the Lithium, and manage my anxiety with other medications, then everything will work out better in the long run. Sounds all nice and neat when you put it like that, but my mind is not letting me put stock in those suggestions. My belief is that when my skin is better (a.k.a. completely 100% clear), everything will be okay.

So, instead of taking Lithium, I take Seroquel. Which still has a tiny chance of causing acne, but in less than 2% of patients. Still scares the living wits out of me, but I'm taking the lesser of the two evils I suppose. Ugh god. I'm really in such a horrible place right now, I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I guess is there anyone who can relate? Or has dealt with something like this?

Any and all replies are really appreciated. I feel so alone in all of this. Xo

Quote
MemberMember
13
(@biggs881)

Posted : 08/09/2013 4:38 am

Rosalie: I would definitely avoid lithium because of your history with it and because it is well known to precipitate/cause acne.

No medication is currently approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treating BDD, but there is some evidence for the off-label use of certain selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), particularly fluoxetine (Prozac).

It makes sense that SSRIs could be effective for BDD because they have well-documented effectiveness for anxiety spectrum disorders such as OCD (as well as depression). To my knowledge, SSRIs are also not known to cause or worsen acne.

Check out this article:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1672181/pdf/nihms12745.pdf

Good luck

Quote
MemberMember
12
(@goodz19)

Posted : 08/09/2013 10:03 am

Im also dealing w/ these same issues. Im been under a psychiatrists care almost for a year, and have been going to a psychologist for talk and therapy and then a new one for Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy. Ive found nothing to be effective.

Im currently on a whole cocktail of meds that are just like candy to me. Im currently taking Welbutrin, Klonopin, Trileptal, and Inderol. I was on Cymbalta, Risperidone, and Prozac previously, coupled w/ all of these, to no avail. Ive recently been prescribed Trazadone in addition to what Im currently taking but I havent started that due to sexual side effects.

CBT was not beneficial for me. Maybe it was because im too depressed to put forth the effort that is needed to truly try to make progress, or maybe it just wasnt for me. The regular talk therapy was trying to find root causes of why my acne makes me feel the way I do (because its repulsive, duh!) so that was useless.

Maybe people find great success w/ a combination of anti-depressants and CBT. Unfortunately, Im not one of those lucky few. Instead, I just keep plodding along being miserable and depressed every day. Horrible way to get by.

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/09/2013 10:09 am

Hey Rosalie,

Having BDD related to my acne and mild acne scarring I can relate. I not only worry about whether medications can trigger my acne, but also diet, sweating etc. - not a nice way to live when you are constantly panicking. I have taken fluoxetine (Prozac) for a long time and have never noticed it worsening my acne. There are plenty of different antidepressants/drugs to try - don't feel like lithium is your only option.

I've actually just started on Seroquel as well and was a bit concerned but there doesn't seem to be a strong link. Plus the only way you'll know is if you try, you can always switch to something else if it is breaking you out.

BTW if you want to talk or need some support etc. with your BDD, feel free to drop me a PM. I have been dealing with BDD for over 10 years.

I went to a psychiatrist on Tuesday to try and get back in some sort of treatment for my mental instabilities. Right now my biggest struggle is Body Dysmorphic Disorder regarding my face/skin. Anyways, my psych decided to put me back on medications that I know triggered my acne a couple years ago. I'm on a few meds, but the one that causes acne is Lithium, so I haven't been taking it. There is plenty of research that confirms my fears and proves that Lithium causes inflammatory acne in at least 1/3 of people. It's really frustrating because that medication has helped me soooo much in the past, and now I'm too terrified to take it.

The logic that everyone is trying to get me to buy into is that, my skin isn't bad and it only became an issue when I relapsed back into BDD thought cycles and behaviors. So, even if Lithium caused me to have some acne, it didn't matter because I was functioning better as a human being and was able to handle being slightly uncomfortable. Therefore if I was able to take the Lithium, and manage my anxiety with other medications, then everything will work out better in the long run. Sounds all nice and neat when you put it like that, but my mind is not letting me put stock in those suggestions. My belief is that when my skin is better (a.k.a. completely 100% clear), everything will be okay.

So, instead of taking Lithium, I take Seroquel. Which still has a tiny chance of causing acne, but in less than 2% of patients. Still scares the living wits out of me, but I'm taking the lesser of the two evils I suppose. Ugh god. I'm really in such a horrible place right now, I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. I guess is there anyone who can relate? Or has dealt with something like this?

Any and all replies are really appreciated. I feel so alone in all of this. Xo

I know exactly what you're talking about. My life is completely dictated by my face/skin. I've changed my diet, exercise, grooming habits, and social activities purely because I'm so freaking self conscious about my face. It's painful because I've gotten to the point where I'm not leaving the house for weeks at a time, and I'm terrified to go outside because of the heat and humidity. Even though I know logically I can't stay inside forever and inevitably sunshine is a good thing for my well being. I just don't know what to do anymore :( Thank you so much for your support, I'll definitely message you for some advice!

Rosalie: I would definitely avoid lithium because of your history with it and because it is well known to precipitate/cause acne.

No medication is currently approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treating BDD, but there is some evidence for the off-label use of certain selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs), particularly fluoxetine (Prozac).

It makes sense that SSRIs could be effective for BDD because they have well-documented effectiveness for anxiety spectrum disorders such as OCD (as well as depression). To my knowledge, SSRIs are also not known to cause or worsen acne.

Check out this article:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1672181/pdf/nihms12745.pdf

Good luck

Thank you for responding! I am certainly avoiding Lithium at all costs, unfortunately I do need to be on a atypical antipsychotic because of a spectrum of mental illnesses that I have. I also am allergic to all SSRIs which makes things very difficult. I tried Zoloft, Lexapro, and Prozac before they realized my body's intolerance and I never noticed any difference in my thinking or behaviors while using those medicines. Hopefully my psych and I will be able to just find something completely different that satisfies both my fears and his conditions to help me get well.

Im also dealing w/ these same issues. Im been under a psychiatrists care almost for a year, and have been going to a psychologist for talk and therapy and then a new one for Cognitive Behaviorial Therapy. Ive found nothing to be effective.

Im currently on a whole cocktail of meds that are just like candy to me. Im currently taking Welbutrin, Klonopin, Trileptal, and Inderol. I was on Cymbalta, Risperidone, and Prozac previously, coupled w/ all of these, to no avail. Ive recently been prescribed Trazadone in addition to what Im currently taking but I havent started that due to sexual side effects.

CBT was not beneficial for me. Maybe it was because im too depressed to put forth the effort that is needed to truly try to make progress, or maybe it just wasnt for me. The regular talk therapy was trying to find root causes of why my acne makes me feel the way I do (because its repulsive, duh!) so that was useless.

Maybe people find great success w/ a combination of anti-depressants and CBT. Unfortunately, Im not one of those lucky few. Instead, I just keep plodding along being miserable and depressed every day. Horrible way to get by.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time... I know how painfully difficult it is to find the right medications. I've been down that road so many times, and am experiencing it now. I have had experience with Trazadone and all it really did was maybe make me a little drowsy, otherwise I didn't see any change in my mood/behaviors. What was the purpose of them prescribing it? Sleep?

I know, everything takes such an effort when you're depressed. It sucks, but when we can find those small opportunities to use the rational parts of our brains, is when we find the courage to push and make real change. It takes a lot of time, but I try to keep an open mind. Try. It's hard.

Quote
MemberMember
12
(@goodz19)

Posted : 08/09/2013 10:18 am

I know, everything takes such an effort when you're depressed. It sucks, but when we can find those small opportunities to use the rational parts of our brains, is when we find the courage to push and make real change. It takes a lot of time, but I try to keep an open mind. Try. It's hard.

Some of the meds were for complusive thoughts, OCD behaviors (mirror checking, etc), some just to help me sleep. Went thru a stretch last fall, right before my wedding, where I was so paranoid that my face was gonna be a mess for my wedding (it wasnt a mess but I wasnt comfortable, especially w/ all the picture taking and kissing every person there) that I hadnt slept in multiple straight days and wasnt eating at all. I dropped 25 lbs in the 4 weeks leading up to the wedding. Im starting to lose weight now too. Im not in a good state.

I get by. I go to work, go to family functions when required, see my friends, when required, but its all a front. Inside, the depression and compulsive thoughts are eating me alive.

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/09/2013 10:39 am

I know, everything takes such an effort when you're depressed. It sucks, but when we can find those small opportunities to use the rational parts of our brains, is when we find the courage to push and make real change. It takes a lot of time, but I try to keep an open mind. Try. It's hard.

Some of the meds were for complusive thoughts, OCD behaviors (mirror checking, etc), some just to help me sleep. Went thru a stretch last fall, right before my wedding, where I was so paranoid that my face was gonna be a mess for my wedding (it wasnt a mess but I wasnt comfortable, especially w/ all the picture taking and kissing every person there) that I hadnt slept in multiple straight days and wasnt eating at all. I dropped 25 lbs in the 4 weeks leading up to the wedding. Im starting to lose weight now too. Im not in a good state.

I get by. I go to work, go to family functions when required, see my friends, when required, but its all a front. Inside, the depression and compulsive thoughts are eating me alive.

Sounds like it's very uncomfortable. Do you find that the OCD meds are helping with the the compulsive thoughts and behaviors? I'm the opposite. I avoid mirrors/reflective things at all costs, I have to stay in the dark, my regimen is extremely strict and limits my ability to function, i am constantly touching my face... It's just like, when is this going to stop? Weight loss happens to me to. Whenever my anxiety is at peak levels I just forget about nourishing myself. Which is bad because I also struggle with eating/weight issues.

It's good to hear that you made it through your wedding and are trying to stay functional and effective in your life. Maybe it's true that you can fake it until you make it? I honestly don't put much stock into that, but it's much better than staying cooped up in your house with no social activity. I feel like with my panic and morphed perception of myself that I'm constantly under attack. It's horrible.

Quote
MemberMember
12
(@goodz19)

Posted : 08/09/2013 11:16 am

I know, everything takes such an effort when you're depressed. It sucks, but when we can find those small opportunities to use the rational parts of our brains, is when we find the courage to push and make real change. It takes a lot of time, but I try to keep an open mind. Try. It's hard.

Some of the meds were for complusive thoughts, OCD behaviors (mirror checking, etc), some just to help me sleep. Went thru a stretch last fall, right before my wedding, where I was so paranoid that my face was gonna be a mess for my wedding (it wasnt a mess but I wasnt comfortable, especially w/ all the picture taking and kissing every person there) that I hadnt slept in multiple straight days and wasnt eating at all. I dropped 25 lbs in the 4 weeks leading up to the wedding. Im starting to lose weight now too. Im not in a good state.

I get by. I go to work, go to family functions when required, see my friends, when required, but its all a front. Inside, the depression and compulsive thoughts are eating me alive.

Sounds like it's very uncomfortable. Do you find that the OCD meds are helping with the the compulsive thoughts and behaviors? I'm the opposite. I avoid mirrors/reflective things at all costs, I have to stay in the dark, my regimen is extremely strict and limits my ability to function, i am constantly touching my face... It's just like, when is this going to stop? Weight loss happens to me to. Whenever my anxiety is at peak levels I just forget about nourishing myself. Which is bad because I also struggle with eating/weight issues.

It's good to hear that you made it through your wedding and are trying to stay functional and effective in your life. Maybe it's true that you can fake it until you make it? I honestly don't put much stock into that, but it's much better than staying cooped up in your house with no social activity. I feel like with my panic and morphed perception of myself that I'm constantly under attack. It's horrible.

Ive found the meds to be completely useless on all fronts. My skin and its condition consume all of my thoughts wherever I am. And it shows in my attitude. Im always anxious and moody. Whenever Im broken out, Im constantly in the mirror, I can help myself. When Im in my car smoking at work, Im in the rear view mirror checking my complexion (and then feeling sorry for myself).

I was truly hoping the meds would help w/ all of this, but it hasnt. I want to wean myself off of them, because whats the sense if they are not working, but my wife insists that I stay on them if Im not going to therapy. She's understanding and all, but I think she's becoming easily annoyed at me being a miserable prick all the time. Everything went down hilll for me a year ago and dont see any light at the end of the tunnel. So w/o any optimism, or progress, or improvement, to give me hope, its difficult to be myself.

Im skeptical of lasers but I have a consultation coming up for Smoothbeam. Ive been on every topical and antibiotic at one time or another. Im running out of options. I took accutane 3 years ago but only for 2 months because my triglycerides went thru the roof; they'll never prescribe that to me again.

Quote
MemberMember
13
(@biggs881)

Posted : 08/09/2013 6:18 pm

Rosalie: If you are allergic/intolerant to SSRIs, there is also some evidence for the effectiveness of the tricyclic antidepressant clomipramine for BDD, although tricyclics are quite "dirty" drugs with more side effects (e.g. dizziness, lethargy).

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1414653/pdf/wpa010012.pdf

Good luck

Quote
MemberMember
26
(@flowergirl1234)

Posted : 08/09/2013 7:51 pm

First off, kudos to you for getting treatment. A lot of people with BDD don't ask for help due to shame, anxiety, etc. I have to completely agree with your psychiatrist. You said you are taking Seroquel instead of Lithium, which only has a 2% chance of causing acne, right? So that means there is a 98% chance that you won't develop any acne while taking it. Those are some pretty good odds. Just keep on taking your meds, and hopefully your anxiety will decrease so that you can make all of your therapy appontments. Therapy is what is really going to make a difference in you feeling better. I know that once I started taking my medication regualrly, my anxiety decreased so that I didn't have anxiety attacks before going to my therapy appointments. Just hang in there, I know you are a strong, amazing girl. I wish the very best to you, and I hope you can start feeling good about yourself; you deserve to be happy.

XOXO <3

Bodie81 liked
Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/09/2013 8:56 pm

Rosalie: If you are allergic/intolerant to SSRIs, there is also some evidence for the effectiveness of the tricyclic antidepressant clomipramine for BDD, although tricyclics are quite "dirty" drugs with more side effects (e.g. dizziness, lethargy).

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1414653/pdf/wpa010012.pdf

Good luck

Thank you! I will definitely look into that. It's always good to know your stuff when talking to doctors...

First off, kudos to you for getting treatment. A lot of people with BDD don't ask for help due to shame, anxiety, etc. I have to completely agree with your psychiatrist. You said you are taking Seroquel instead of Lithium, which only has a 2% chance of causing acne, right? So that means there is a 98% chance that you won't develop any acne while taking it. Those are some pretty good odds. Just keep on taking your meds, and hopefully your anxiety will decrease so that you can make all of your therapy appontments. Therapy is what is really going to make a difference in you feeling better. I know that once I started taking my medication regualrly, my anxiety decreased so that I didn't have anxiety attacks before going to my therapy appointments. Just hang in there, I know you are a strong, amazing girl. I wish the very best to you, and I hope you can start feeling good about yourself; you deserve to be happy.

XOXO <3

Thank you... Luckily i also have really supportive/invasive parents that are pushing me to get help. I know its annoying right now, but hopefully all their pushing will help me in the long run. I am definitely sticking to my medication regimen because this anxiety will be the death of me otherwise. It's always such a tricky game finding the right meds and I hope I'll find the right cocktail (pardon the expression) sooner rather than later :/ It's so good to hear that you're doing well and that there is hope! I do NEED to start keeping my therapy appointments instead of canceling due to my insecurities. Have to remember these people are psychologists and their job is to not judge me.

Keep on keeping on, I suppose! Xo

Quote
MemberMember
86
(@bodie81)

Posted : 08/11/2013 2:06 am

As SavyBanana said, well done for getting treatment. That in itself takes a lot of bravery - I know myself hard it is to admit that you need help. For many years I was too ashamed to admit to my obsession with my skin and it was only last year that I plucked up the courage to approach my GP and ask for CBT.

I can understand your fears about taking the medication and Seroquel and the chances of them breaking you out but you should definitely continue to take them. Medication in itself cannot rid you of all your hang-ups and insecurities but it can help to lift your mood and reduce anxiety. This in turn will then give you the impetus to attend therapy appointments and ultimately, therapy is what is going to help you feel better and learn to accept yourself.

I`m currently having CBT. I know for some people it isn`t successful but it is definitely helping me. My problem is my obsession with my skin. I used to have bad acne when I was a teen and in my twenties and even though I no longer have bad acne, I do have breakouts from time to time. The problem with me is my perception of myself - any acne blemish or flaw can make me feel repulsive, hideous and ugly. The stuff that I`m doing via CBT is definitely helping - a couple of days ago I even used the "How ya feeling about your acne today" thread to conduct an experiment for myself. It`s a work in progress though.

I hope things improve for you. You`ve taken the biggest step by admitting you need help so you can definitely learn to feel better and accept yourself with the right help and support.

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/11/2013 11:24 am

As SavyBanana said, well done for getting treatment. That in itself takes a lot of bravery - I know myself hard it is to admit that you need help. For many years I was too ashamed to admit to my obsession with my skin and it was only last year that I plucked up the courage to approach my GP and ask for CBT.

I can understand your fears about taking the medication and Seroquel and the chances of them breaking you out but you should definitely continue to take them. Medication in itself cannot rid you of all your hang-ups and insecurities but it can help to lift your mood and reduce anxiety. This in turn will then give you the impetus to attend therapy appointments and ultimately, therapy is what is going to help you feel better and learn to accept yourself.

I`m currently having CBT. I know for some people it isn`t successful but it is definitely helping me. My problem is my obsession with my skin. I used to have bad acne when I was a teen and in my twenties and even though I no longer have bad acne, I do have breakouts from time to time. The problem with me is my perception of myself - any acne blemish or flaw can make me feel repulsive, hideous and ugly. The stuff that I`m doing via CBT is definitely helping - a couple of days ago I even used the "How ya feeling about your acne today" thread to conduct an experiment for myself. It`s a work in progress though.

I hope things improve for you. You`ve taken the biggest step by admitting you need help so you can definitely learn to feel better and accept yourself with the right help and support.

Thank you. It was extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that I have BDD. After seeing a distorted image of myself for so long, I have come to believe that I am a truly a disgusting person. Having s professional tell me that I can't see myself clearly was a huge shock to my system. Basically turned my world upside down. Plus, I was so discouraged about having another "defect" in my brain. I feel like I can't catch a break. I have continued to take the Seroquel and am increasing it as instructed, but the fear of breaking out remains unfortunately. I'm hoping that after a couple of weeks my anxiety will be better managed and I will be able to make it to my therapy appointments. I have had tremendous success in the past with DBT, but my old therapist is now recommending CBT. But my psychiatrist is insisting that I sees a DBT therapist because it has helped my manage my BPD along with meds. So, I'm getting mixed messages about what type of therapy I should pursue... One for Anxiety/OCD management or the other to help stabilize my mood disorder. Any insight? Once again, thank you for responding. Having the support on this website is really helping me get through the days. I feel less alone.

Quote
MemberMember
86
(@bodie81)

Posted : 08/11/2013 4:40 pm

As SavyBanana said, well done for getting treatment. That in itself takes a lot of bravery - I know myself hard it is to admit that you need help. For many years I was too ashamed to admit to my obsession with my skin and it was only last year that I plucked up the courage to approach my GP and ask for CBT.

I can understand your fears about taking the medication and Seroquel and the chances of them breaking you out but you should definitely continue to take them. Medication in itself cannot rid you of all your hang-ups and insecurities but it can help to lift your mood and reduce anxiety. This in turn will then give you the impetus to attend therapy appointments and ultimately, therapy is what is going to help you feel better and learn to accept yourself.

I`m currently having CBT. I know for some people it isn`t successful but it is definitely helping me. My problem is my obsession with my skin. I used to have bad acne when I was a teen and in my twenties and even though I no longer have bad acne, I do have breakouts from time to time. The problem with me is my perception of myself - any acne blemish or flaw can make me feel repulsive, hideous and ugly. The stuff that I`m doing via CBT is definitely helping - a couple of days ago I even used the "How ya feeling about your acne today" thread to conduct an experiment for myself. It`s a work in progress though.

I hope things improve for you. You`ve taken the biggest step by admitting you need help so you can definitely learn to feel better and accept yourself with the right help and support.

Thank you. It was extremely difficult to come to terms with the fact that I have BDD. After seeing a distorted image of myself for so long, I have come to believe that I am a truly a disgusting person. Having s professional tell me that I can't see myself clearly was a huge shock to my system. Basically turned my world upside down. Plus, I was so discouraged about having another "defect" in my brain. I feel like I can't catch a break. I have continued to take the Seroquel and am increasing it as instructed, but the fear of breaking out remains unfortunately. I'm hoping that after a couple of weeks my anxiety will be better managed and I will be able to make it to my therapy appointments. I have had tremendous success in the past with DBT, but my old therapist is now recommending CBT. But my psychiatrist is insisting that I sees a DBT therapist because it has helped my manage my BPD along with meds. So, I'm getting mixed messages about what type of therapy I should pursue... One for Anxiety/OCD management or the other to help stabilize my mood disorder. Any insight? Once again, thank you for responding. Having the support on this website is really helping me get through the days. I feel less alone.

Rosalie, I can totally relate to feeling like a disgusting person - I`ve thought of myself like that on and off for a long, long time. However, even though I don`t know you and I know you probably won`t believe me, I can categorically say that what you believe you are is not true. If you are anything like me, a combination of social circumstances and life experiences have caused you to have a distorted view and perception of yourself. That does not however make you a disgusting person - it is just a feeling you have and it`s not a fact.

It`s not nice being labelled with having a disorder is it? I`ve not officially been diagnosed but I have been told that I have both BDD and acne dysmorphia traits. This did freak me out a little bit initially but the way I see it now, it`s not so important. At the end of the day, BDD and acne dysmorphia are just labels that are given to us to categorize us for the beliefs we have about ourselves and our consequent behaviours. It`s what we do to challenge those beliefs and change our way of thinking from here on in that is important.

BPD stands for Borderline Personality Disorder and DBT stands for Dialectical Behaviour Therapy doesn`t it? I`m afraid I don`t know too much about the disorder but if the therapy has been successful for you in the past then it is definitely worth considering doing again. At the same time, from the little that you have said about yourself and from what I know about it, I really think CBT would be beneficial too. It`s a bit of a dilemna - is there anyway you can do both therapies in conjunction with each other or would they conflict? If you can, try to speak to your psychiatrist about it to see what they suggest.

Good luck. It won`t be easy but as I said in the first post, admitting that you need help is the hardest part and you have already done that. I will follow this thread so if you can, try to update as I would (and I`m sure other people on this forum too) be interested to hear how you are getting on. If you have any questions about CBT or anything, don`t hesitate to ask either via this thread or by PM. I`ll gladly answer any questions if I can help.

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/11/2013 6:10 pm

GUNNKE, you are correct. BPD stands for Borderline Personality disorder and DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I think the only way that I could have access to both the therapies on an affordable level is to be in a treatment facility. My psychiatrist wanted to send me to an inpatient (hospitalization) program so he could monitor me on new medications and so I could receive some intensive therapy. I'm currently living like a hermit because I don't leave my house unless for appointments with doctors. I did have a small triumph last night and took a walk around my neighborhood. Granted it was at nighttime and no one was around, but I won't judge myself because it was difficult nonetheless.

I can completely relate to you in the sense that social and life experiences have basically beaten me to a pulp and left me feeling like a worthless person. Part of the reason I've put off treatment for so long is because I'm using up my family's insurance benefits. I've already used all the emergency room visits up and I'm continually using the speciality doctor benefits due to seeing dermatologists, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. I want to change the way I think about myself because I believe once that happens, everything else will sort itself out. I will be a happier person, I will lead a healthier and happier life, and due to that the things I want will fall into place. Like my skin clearing up the way I want it to. I honestly don't know how I expect to be healthy when I don't go outside, don't exercise, and am basically living in a room. It's obviously ludicrous. Ugh. Why can't this just go away?

Thank you for all the support! I will definitely be having a serious talk with my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I'll update frequently because I love hearing from everyone and feel better knowing I'm not alone or crazy... Xo

Quote
MemberMember
26
(@flowergirl1234)

Posted : 08/12/2013 12:02 am

Rosalie: If you are allergic/intolerant to SSRIs, there is also some evidence for the effectiveness of the tricyclic antidepressant clomipramine for BDD, although tricyclics are quite "dirty" drugs with more side effects (e.g. dizziness, lethargy).

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1414653/pdf/wpa010012.pdf

Good luck

Thank you! I will definitely look into that. It's always good to know your stuff when talking to doctors...

>First off, kudos to you for getting treatment. A lot of people with BDD don't ask for help due to shame, anxiety, etc. I have to completely agree with your psychiatrist. You said you are taking Seroquel instead of Lithium, which only has a 2% chance of causing acne, right? So that means there is a 98% chance that you won't develop any acne while taking it. Those are some pretty good odds. Just keep on taking your meds, and hopefully your anxiety will decrease so that you can make all of your therapy appontments. Therapy is what is really going to make a difference in you feeling better. I know that once I started taking my medication regualrly, my anxiety decreased so that I didn't have anxiety attacks before going to my therapy appointments. Just hang in there, I know you are a strong, amazing girl. I wish the very best to you, and I hope you can start feeling good about yourself; you deserve to be happy.

XOXO <3

Thank you... Luckily i also have really supportive/invasive parents that are pushing me to get help. I know its annoying right now, but hopefully all their pushing will help me in the long run. I am definitely sticking to my medication regimen because this anxiety will be the death of me otherwise. It's always such a tricky game finding the right meds and I hope I'll find the right cocktail (pardon the expression) sooner rather than later :/ It's so good to hear that you're doing well and that there is hope! I do NEED to start keeping my therapy appointments instead of canceling due to my insecurities. Have to remember these people are psychologists and their job is to not judge me.

Keep on keeping on, I suppose! Xo

That's wonderful! :D It's always really helpful to have supportive parents, even if it is annoying. I know from experience, lol. It seems like you have a really good mindset though. Good for you! And thanks! When you mentioned it's a psychologist's job not to judge, it made me remember when I first started going to therapy I had such a hard time talking and opening up because I was afraid I was going to be judged. My therapist picked up on this, and he told me that no matter what I told him, he would not judge me, ever. And after that I really started to open up and make progress. So you are very right about that. Just try and remember that when you are talking to your therapist. :)

Bodie81 liked
Quote
MemberMember
86
(@bodie81)

Posted : 08/12/2013 1:56 am

GUNNKE, you are correct. BPD stands for Borderline Personality disorder and DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I think the only way that I could have access to both the therapies on an affordable level is to be in a treatment facility. My psychiatrist wanted to send me to an inpatient (hospitalization) program so he could monitor me on new medications and so I could receive some intensive therapy. I'm currently living like a hermit because I don't leave my house unless for appointments with doctors. I did have a small triumph last night and took a walk around my neighborhood. Granted it was at nighttime and no one was around, but I won't judge myself because it was difficult nonetheless.

I can completely relate to you in the sense that social and life experiences have basically beaten me to a pulp and left me feeling like a worthless person. Part of the reason I've put off treatment for so long is because I'm using up my family's insurance benefits. I've already used all the emergency room visits up and I'm continually using the speciality doctor benefits due to seeing dermatologists, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. I want to change the way I think about myself because I believe once that happens, everything else will sort itself out. I will be a happier person, I will lead a healthier and happier life, and due to that the things I want will fall into place. Like my skin clearing up the way I want it to. I honestly don't know how I expect to be healthy when I don't go outside, don't exercise, and am basically living in a room. It's obviously ludicrous. Ugh. Why can't this just go away?

Thank you for all the support! I will definitely be having a serious talk with my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I'll update frequently because I love hearing from everyone and feel better knowing I'm not alone or crazy... Xo

Rosalie, firstly well done managing that walk. Just because it was difficult, that doesn`t make it any less of an achievement and you should congratulate yourself for doing it. Also think it`s really positive that you want to change your situation and the way you think - it will help you going forward with therapy

That`s really unfortunate about the insurance situation. Even though I had to go on a waiting list, I`m able to have CBT in the UK via the NHS so I guess I`m pretty lucky. Definitely speak to your psychiatrist on Tuesday about your options.

Savy mentioned in her post about worrying about being judged by her therapist. I felt exactly the same when I started CBT - I actually told the therapist that I felt intimidated and worried about what she thought of me. She reassured me that she would not judge me and I now feel comfortable talking to her about anything. Think this applies to everyone who starts therapy and I`m pretty sure that most therapists are aware of this and will do their best to put you at ease.

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/12/2013 11:23 am

Rosalie: If you are allergic/intolerant to SSRIs, there is also some evidence for the effectiveness of the tricyclic antidepressant clomipramine for BDD, although tricyclics are quite "dirty" drugs with more side effects (e.g. dizziness, lethargy).

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1414653/pdf/wpa010012.pdf

Good luck

Thank you! I will definitely look into that. It's always good to know your stuff when talking to doctors...

>First off, kudos to you for getting treatment. A lot of people with BDD don't ask for help due to shame, anxiety, etc. I have to completely agree with your psychiatrist. You said you are taking Seroquel instead of Lithium, which only has a 2% chance of causing acne, right? So that means there is a 98% chance that you won't develop any acne while taking it. Those are some pretty good odds. Just keep on taking your meds, and hopefully your anxiety will decrease so that you can make all of your therapy appontments. Therapy is what is really going to make a difference in you feeling better. I know that once I started taking my medication regualrly, my anxiety decreased so that I didn't have anxiety attacks before going to my therapy appointments. Just hang in there, I know you are a strong, amazing girl. I wish the very best to you, and I hope you can start feeling good about yourself; you deserve to be happy.

XOXO

<3

Thank you... Luckily i also have really supportive/invasive parents that are pushing me to get help. I know its annoying right now, but hopefully all their pushing will help me in the long run. I am definitely sticking to my medication regimen because this anxiety will be the death of me otherwise. It's always such a tricky game finding the right meds and I hope I'll find the right cocktail (pardon the expression) sooner rather than later :/ It's so good to hear that you're doing well and that there is hope! I do NEED to start keeping my therapy appointments instead of canceling due to my insecurities. Have to remember these people are psychologists and their job is to not judge me.

Keep on keeping on, I suppose! Xo

That's wonderful! biggrin.png It's always really helpful to have supportive parents, even if it is annoying. I know from experience, lol. It seems like you have a really good mindset though. Good for you! And thanks! When you mentioned it's a psychologist's job not to judge, it made me remember when I first started going to therapy I had such a hard time talking and opening up because I was afraid I was going to be judged. My therapist picked up on this, and he told me that no matter what I told him, he would not judge me, ever. And after that I really started to open up and make progress. So you are very right about that. Just try and remember that when you are talking to your therapist. smile.png

My parents are definitely a great support system, thankfully they always have been throughout my years of struggling. I wish I could say I have a good mindset, but in reality (as I've said) I talk a big game. I know rationally that all the things I say to you guys are true, but it's really not what I believe. I DO want to change the way I think about myself because I'm so tired of fighting. Life shouldn't be about constantly battling with myself. Starting with a new therapist is always such a pain. Building up the trust and letting my guard down is a process, but I'm semi-willing to try and be open minded. As long as I keep my anxiety down I think I may have a fighting chance.

GUNNKE, you are correct. BPD stands for Borderline Personality disorder and DBT is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. I think the only way that I could have access to both the therapies on an affordable level is to be in a treatment facility. My psychiatrist wanted to send me to an inpatient (hospitalization) program so he could monitor me on new medications and so I could receive some intensive therapy. I'm currently living like a hermit because I don't leave my house unless for appointments with doctors. I did have a small triumph last night and took a walk around my neighborhood. Granted it was at nighttime and no one was around, but I won't judge myself because it was difficult nonetheless.

I can completely relate to you in the sense that social and life experiences have basically beaten me to a pulp and left me feeling like a worthless person. Part of the reason I've put off treatment for so long is because I'm using up my family's insurance benefits. I've already used all the emergency room visits up and I'm continually using the speciality doctor benefits due to seeing dermatologists, endocrinologists, psychiatrists, and psychologists. I want to change the way I think about myself because I believe once that happens, everything else will sort itself out. I will be a happier person, I will lead a healthier and happier life, and due to that the things I want will fall into place. Like my skin clearing up the way I want it to. I honestly don't know how I expect to be healthy when I don't go outside, don't exercise, and am basically living in a room. It's obviously ludicrous. Ugh. Why can't this just go away?

Thank you for all the support! I will definitely be having a serious talk with my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I'll update frequently because I love hearing from everyone and feel better knowing I'm not alone or crazy... Xo

Rosalie, firstly well done managing that walk. Just because it was difficult, that doesn`t make it any less of an achievement and you should congratulate yourself for doing it. Also think it`s really positive that you want to change your situation and the way you think - it will help you going forward with therapy

That`s really unfortunate about the insurance situation. Even though I had to go on a waiting list, I`m able to have CBT in the UK via the NHS so I guess I`m pretty lucky. Definitely speak to your psychiatrist on Tuesday about your options.

Savy mentioned in her post about worrying about being judged by her therapist. I felt exactly the same when I started CBT - I actually told the therapist that I felt intimidated and worried about what she thought of me. She reassured me that she would not judge me and I now feel comfortable talking to her about anything. Think this applies to everyone who starts therapy and I`m pretty sure that most therapists are aware of this and will do their best to put you at ease.

That is so great that you have such good benefits out in the UK. Hopefully my psych will have some good suggestions that will give me some realistic options. My appointment is tomorrow. I'm having major anxiety about it. Anytime I know I will have to be in public, my body goes into panic overload and I'm not sure what to do with myself. So far, my day has consisted of pacing my house for an hour, making breakfast and not eating it, then I came on here to get some feedback. I am so grateful to have you guys as support.

Maybe I'll take another walk tonight to remind myself that I'm capable of stepping out the door and experiencing life. Geez, I sound so pathetic. :(

BTW, I have been in an intensive CBT program before, but that was back in 2007. I barely remember what it's about... Would you guys mind refreshing my memory about what the treatment module is?

Quote
MemberMember
86
(@bodie81)

Posted : 08/13/2013 12:03 am

That is so great that you have such good benefits out in the UK. Hopefully my psych will have some good suggestions that will give me some realistic options. My appointment is tomorrow. I'm having major anxiety about it. Anytime I know I will have to be in public, my body goes into panic overload and I'm not sure what to do with myself. So far, my day has consisted of pacing my house for an hour, making breakfast and not eating it, then I came on here to get some feedback. I am so grateful to have you guys as support.

Maybe I'll take another walk tonight to remind myself that I'm capable of stepping out the door and experiencing life. Geez, I sound so pathetic. sad.png

BTW, I have been in an intensive CBT program before, but that was back in 2007. I barely remember what it's about... Would you guys mind refreshing my memory about what the treatment module is?

In simplistic terms, CBT is a type of therapy that aims to change the way you think and and behave.

At the first session, you usually identify the problems you are currently having and how your thoughts, ideas, behaviours etc impact on your life on a day to day basis. This is done so that going forward, you and the therapist can agree to a specific treatment plan and identify what you want to achieve from CBT.

At subsequent sessions, you then get to work on tackling specific problems. Usually at the start of a session, an agenda is set for the session so that you and the therapist identify what you want to discuss. During the session, you will discuss the issues at hand and then at the end of a session, the therapist will probably give you a task or "homework" to do away from the session.

Before I started CBT, I read quite a number of articles on what to expect from CBT but I found the following article on the patient.co.uk website to be the most clear, concise and helpful. Although patient.co.uk is UK based, I`m sure that the information they provide is also relevant to CBT in the US.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Cognitive-Behaviour-Therapy-%28CBT%29.htm

Good luck with the psych appointment. It will be hard but I`m sure you can do it. And by the way, don`t think of yourself as pathetic.There are plenty of people out there who are in the same situation who can totally relate.

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/13/2013 3:27 pm

That is so great that you have such good benefits out in the UK. Hopefully my psych will have some good suggestions that will give me some realistic options. My appointment is tomorrow. I'm having major anxiety about it. Anytime I know I will have to be in public, my body goes into panic overload and I'm not sure what to do with myself. So far, my day has consisted of pacing my house for an hour, making breakfast and not eating it, then I came on here to get some feedback. I am so grateful to have you guys as support.

Maybe I'll take another walk tonight to remind myself that I'm capable of stepping out the door and experiencing life. Geez, I sound so pathetic. sad.png

BTW, I have been in an intensive CBT program before, but that was back in 2007. I barely remember what it's about... Would you guys mind refreshing my memory about what the treatment module is?

In simplistic terms, CBT is a type of therapy that aims to change the way you think and and behave.

At the first session, you usually identify the problems you are currently having and how your thoughts, ideas, behaviours etc impact on your life on a day to day basis. This is done so that going forward, you and the therapist can agree to a specific treatment plan and identify what you want to achieve from CBT.

At subsequent sessions, you then get to work on tackling specific problems. Usually at the start of a session, an agenda is set for the session so that you and the therapist identify what you want to discuss. During the session, you will discuss the issues at hand and then at the end of a session, the therapist will probably give you a task or "homework" to do away from the session.

Before I started CBT, I read quite a number of articles on what to expect from CBT but I found the following article on the patient.co.uk website to be the most clear, concise and helpful. Although patient.co.uk is UK based, I`m sure that the information they provide is also relevant to CBT in the US.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Cognitive-Behaviour-Therapy-%28CBT%29.htm

Good luck with the psych appointment. It will be hard but I`m sure you can do it. And by the way, don`t think of yourself as pathetic.There are plenty of people out there who are in the same situation who can totally relate.

So, my appointment went really well today! I was pleasantly surprised that my psychiatrist didn't push too hard for me to go back on the Lithium. Instead, he suggested that I start taking a medically therapeutic does of Inositol. It works basically the same way as Lithium, intracellulary, to help with mood stabilization. it also has been proven to significantly help with stopping the OCD cycle. He also upped my Serqouel dose, which is not that big of a deal because so far no breakouts *knocks on wood*. Just trying to take it on a day by day basis. I may be able to do more one day than I can the next, and i suppose the difficult part is to except that and not beat myself up it.

My psychiatrist did insist that I need to be an intensive therapy program. He looked into some outpatient programs that he recommended I at least give a try. It would consist of individual CBT therapy, group therapy, family therapy, meal support (I'm sadly now back on a weight gain program for my eating disorder), and specialty groups designed to help me cope. It's 5 days a week 9-4, so I'm highly anxious about having to be out of my house for such extended periods of time. I need to give this some serious thought :(

Thank you for all the support... You are all such wonderful people. Xo

Quote
MemberMember
86
(@bodie81)

Posted : 08/13/2013 4:30 pm

So, my appointment went really well today! I was pleasantly surprised that my psychiatrist didn't push too hard for me to go back on the Lithium. Instead, he suggested that I start taking a medically therapeutic does of Inositol. It works basically the same way as Lithium, intracellulary, to help with mood stabilization. it also has been proven to significantly help with stopping the OCD cycle. He also upped my Serqouel dose, which is not that big of a deal because so far no breakouts *knocks on wood*. Just trying to take it on a day by day basis. I may be able to do more one day than I can the next, and i suppose the difficult part is to except that and not beat myself up it.

My psychiatrist did insist that I need to be an intensive therapy program. He looked into some outpatient programs that he recommended I at least give a try. It would consist of individual CBT therapy, group therapy, family therapy, meal support (I'm sadly now back on a weight gain program for my eating disorder), and specialty groups designed to help me cope. It's 5 days a week 9-4, so I'm highly anxious about having to be out of my house for such extended periods of time. I need to give this some serious thought sad.png

Thank you for all the support... You are all such wonderful people. Xo

That`s really positive - and well done for attending too. I know that would have taken a lot of courage to do!

Definitely give the intensive therapy program some thought. The thought of doing it may be anxiety provoking but you would be in a safe environment with lots of support.

All the best!

Quote
MemberMember
7
(@rosalie324)

Posted : 08/14/2013 12:43 pm

Today seems like a better day for me. I woke up, did my normal regimen (in the dark as always), and when I turned on the lights there was a surprise awaiting me. My face didn't look all that awful. I was genuinely shocked, and even think I did some sort of a double take. Of course, i was able to point out a million things that I would love to seem improved, but I shook the thoughts and walked away from the mirror. It's the first time in weeks that I have left the mirror without crying. I don't know if things on my face are improving, or my medications are starting to kick in, but I was sincerely proud of myself. When I came out the bathroom seemingly composed, my mum was just as shocked. Normally I tell her to clear off whilst I do my regimen. So, a successful morning all around.

I'm planning on seeing my boyfriend today, for the first time in a while. I hope I can actually keep these plans. I get the feeling nowadays he's starting to believe I'm mad. Oh well, take it one moment at a time I suppose.

Quote