Where to start? I haven't been here since wow... forever honestly. Jeez it's so frigging crazy how time flies. Since then I've only been working on my skin getting better and better throughout the days and life has passed me by I forgot how to enjoy myself because of it. Masking my mental state of mind with prescription drugs, alcohol, drugs, whatever else I could get my hands on in my earlier years

. It's been a really rough time. I've gotten through my mental perception of myself and it's really crazy how much my mentality on peoples sexiness has changed for me to try to find someone special that isn't only like myself you know

- those crazy nights looking at the mirror wondering why you look like this

- those crazy days wondering what you look like in each mirror that passes you by, and why the light is so bright (TURN THEM LIGHTS DOWN!)

- those crazy moments which those stares sear your soul like no one else could understand but you

- those insane situations where you think you're going to be different just because you're being judged like someone you're not.

and unfortunately I hate to say this - it's true for most people that have skin disorders.

After being completely clear after an insane 4 COURSE accutane treatment (one course done without any doctors supervision) and currently humira + other prescription drugs to control rosacea have completely cleared me people notice me different.

I don't notice the people I've known differently though. I needed to get this out to the people that I would love to meet that I understand their pain. I want to share their lifestyles. I want to be there for them. There aren't many people like them around me. I would love to know others stories about how they have progressed through life like I have to succeed in ways of succession even if they DON'T clear up which they can be infinitely powerful as designed by their creator whether or not you have a religion you believe in or not.

I haven't posted in years. I want to make this heard. I love every one of you for who you are and I -seriously- wish you the best. Just know that there is a man like me out there who understands EVERYTHING you've been through. Guy or girl. I just seriously wish you all the best.

Life goes by so fast you forget to realize just because it's bad now it won't get better. It will; and after the insane insane time i've spent on here it's been well worth it. I just wanted to say if it wasn't for this website and kern making it I probably wouldn't be living right now due to other circumstances.

I just wish I could find someone that is going through the same things I am. I feel that would be a connection that I could understand to experience a relationship... sorta like someone who's been through a battle before (just not as gruesome) but as mentally exhausting in a lot of circumstances. It's really insane living in a country that puts it on such a high pedestal.

Well... that all came from heart without proofreading as it should. So be it. Thank you all and again acne.org... only place I could see it go was in this forum. Thanks again. <3