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This Customer Commented On My Acne

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I had a job for 2 weeks working at a gas station in September 2012. A older man I cashed out, told me; I should buy proactive for my acne because it worked for his daughter.

It felt like he stabbed me in the chest as soon as he said it to me. He had no idea on my struggle or what I have been through with it. I was fired after 2 weeks because I think my acne was freaking out the customers.

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I've had similar things happen to me. I know the person probably meant well, but it's still incredibly rude. I would never in a million years suggest something like to someone, especially not knowing what they had already tried to fix their skin. Proactive only works for people with mild to moderate acne, it does nothing for severe cases. I'm sorry you had to suffer because of that guy's ignorance. As far as the job--consider it a blessing in disguise. Do you really want to work at a gas station anyway?

Edited by dejaclairevoyant

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I had a job for 2 weeks working at a gas station in September 2012. A older man I cashed out, told me; I should buy proactive for my acne because it worked for his daughter.

It felt like he stabbed me in the chest as soon as he said it to me. He had no idea on my struggle or what I have been through with it. I was fired after 2 weeks because I think my acne was freaking out the customers.

Yeah that is quite dumb to say but did he say it in front of other people?

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I had a job for 2 weeks working at a gas station in September 2012. A older man I cashed out, told me; I should buy proactive for my acne because it worked for his daughter.

It felt like he stabbed me in the chest as soon as he said it to me. He had no idea on my struggle or what I have been through with it. I was fired after 2 weeks because I think my acne was freaking out the customers.

My response to him would have been this,

Thank you sir and let me return the friendly advice.

We sell breath mints for your rancid breath. Would you like cash back with that? lol

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I think suggestions are usually well-intentioned (hopefully), but I think it's incredibly presumptuous to suggest a product to someone especially when you don't know what the person has tried, like dejaclairevoyant said. I feel that if people want to suggest something, they should phrase what they say in a different manner. For example, instead of straight up TELLING someone to try something, someone could say, "Have you ever tried _____? You might want to look into it." This gives that person the option to weigh their decision instead of 'emotionally cornering' them.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I know exactly how you feel. I've had that happen to me (like 3 times), it's even worse when total strangers come up to you to recommend products. I just want the ground to swallow me up when that happens.

Edited by burgundyfunk

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I've had many customers tell me to use this and that, drink more water, eat more vegetables and I'm thinking to myself I probably drink more water and eat more veggies than they do every single day. I guess most of their intentions are good but they just dont know how painful and embarrassing it is for us when they do that. ESPECIALLY when theres other customers around and they all stare at your face :(

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I had a job for 2 weeks working at a gas station in September 2012. A older man I cashed out, told me; I should buy proactive for my acne because it worked for his daughter.

It felt like he stabbed me in the chest as soon as he said it to me. He had no idea on my struggle or what I have been through with it. I was fired after 2 weeks because I think my acne was freaking out the customers.

That guy is an a-hole. I don't reckon he realized that his comment would impact you in this way. I know how you feel though, it hurts. My aunt suggested I try Proactiv because it works for her. Then I went inside my mom's vehicle and cried my eyes out while listening to Radiohead. At the very moment it just kills you, and it sticks with you. The comments never leave your head. But screw that. You can let words affect you or you can ignore them. Listen to yourself and who you want to be, not what others think you are or should do.

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I think suggestions are usually well-intentioned (hopefully), but I think it's incredibly presumptuous to suggest a product to someone especially when you don't know what the person has tried, like dejaclairevoyant said. I feel that if people want to suggest something, they should phrase what they say in a different manner. For example, instead of straight up TELLING someone to try something, someone could say, "Have you ever tried _____? You might want to look into it." This gives that person the option to weigh their decision instead of 'emotionally cornering' them.

Anyway, I'm sorry, I know exactly how you feel. I've had that happen to me (like 3 times), it's even worse when total strangers come up to you to recommend products. I just want the ground to swallow me up when that happens.

I disagree. People should not suggest anything for someone else's skin problem PERIOD. If someone said that (the part I bolded) to me I would be VERY offended. It is still emotionally cornering me by bringing up my skin condition without knowing how comfortable I am talking about it. Only a very rude and socially unaware person would do something like that. The only time anyone should comment or give advice about another person's skin condition is when the person brings it up in conversation themselves and asks for tips.

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There is a young man who works in the Co-Op (small supermarket) in my village. He has quite severe acne. Since I used to have moderately severe acne, I am desperate to talk to him about skin whenever I see him. I have such a strong empathetic sorrow for him, I would love to help....

But my skin is clear now. I know that when my skin was at its worst, if anyone with clear skin tried to discuss it with me, my feelings would have been hurt. Even when my mum talked to me about 'how to clear my skin', I reacted badly. Even though I KNEW she was only trying to be helpful and I KNEW that she had such severe acne at my age that she went on Roaccutane.

So I say nothing, I smile at him with my biggest smiles, wish him a good day and I secretly hope that he finds his cure.

I'm sure that man had only good intentions, but people noticing and acknowledging acne can hurt more than they'll ever know...

Edited by abigailwheeler

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I think its funny how people who have never had to worry about there skin feel its okay to be so opinionatedabout it ... I honestly think that those people think its completely a hygiene issue and that people with acne do not take care of themselves.

I had someone years ago suggest proactiv - acted like, well why havent you tried to do anything about your face?

Are you kidding me? MOST people with acne, severe acne, thats ALL they think about and ALL they do is try to fix the problem.

At least we have each other, right?

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People, most people, do have good intentions when they say things to us in terms of advice. They are merely trying to "help" and that's what we must always remember. The thing is, many people are dumb. They just are. They dont usually think before they speak and their intelligence level, especially emotional intelligence, is (often) way off.

I know it hurts- I had the same exact proactive comment once. But I realized that the person was trying to give me knowledge to help me feel better- not worse. It was my ego, so to speak, that was offended and hurt. Truth is- we have acne. It sucks- but it's a part of us- and while we are on this journey together- trying to fix it- we my as well accept and love ourselves, acne and all.

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Hi, I'm sorry you had to go through that, let me share my experience with you:

About two or three years ago, when my mild/moderate acne was cleared thanks to the Regimen, I decided to suggest the Regimen to an acquaintance of mine who was suffering from severe acne. He thanked me for the advice and that was that, we eventually lost touch. Then, almost a year ago, The Regimen stopped working for me and started to damage my skin, so I quit it, which, in turn, led to the most horrendous break out of my life (I'm talking acne all over my face, including some large painful cysts). Until then, I had never before experienced all the terrible emotions and life altering anxieties that often accompany severe acne. In fact, I never even imagined that a person could feel this way. I mean, I had felt bad about my acne in the past (when it was moderate) but that was nothing compared to how I felt when it got severe; it was a complete shock. Added to that was the embarrassment and anger I felt when people started giving me "advice" on how to clear my skin. I now really regret talking to my acquaintance about his skin and giving him "advice." I was so foolish and ignorant and arrogant and I feel so ashamed and sorry for what I did. I definitely got a taste of my own medicine.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling particularly crabby, I wish all people would experience severe acne at least once in their lives so they could understand how it feels; then maybe we'd treat each other with more respect and kindness.

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