Hello,
My name is Tommy and I am 30 years old. I have been struggling with acne since I was 12. I have been on a few rounds of tane but they were always low doses and only for short periods of time. The last time I was on accutane was five years ago, prior to that I hadn't been on accutane for awhile and my skin looked absolutely amazing! Then it started and just spread like a disease...mainly just on my forehead and temple regions, nowhere else. Anyways, about a year ago my skin erupted and I tried Doxy...within two weeks all of the inflammation in my skin was gone and my acne was healing rapidly...I couldn't believe it. Well, eventually I noticed I was eating more and more pills until I was taking two pills everyday and they weren't working. I decided I wasn't going to screw around and wait for my face to get really bad so I went into my Derm and told her straight up I wanted to be put on accutane. She said she wanted to try something else but I demanded accutane. She prescribed me 100mg per day which is way more than I have ever taken in the past. Normally it was always 20, 40, 80 (only for one month on 80). She wants me to go the full dose for the full six months and I am prepared for it. All of the data shows that longterm remission is generally achieved by taking your full dose for six months.
My skin isn't that bad right now...I have a few cysts on my forehead but thats it. I am just tired of dealing with this. I am in incredible shape and lift hard four days a week and do cardio for 30 minutes 6 days a week. I take vitamins, eat extremely healthy, only healthy fats, no sugar other than from fruit, and eat whole grains, chicken, and fish--nobody I know eats better than me. I don't understand how I can treat my body so good and still get huge cysts that always eat my fucking face off.
Also, I am really down that I meet great beautiful girls when I have a clear face and feel confident, then I break out and my self esteem goes to shit along with my confidence, and then we eventually breakup. They don't leave me because of my acne but because I change. I don't want to go out and basically just want to hide...its hard when you look like someone seriously took a hammer to your forehead and have lumps and red marks . Its disgusting! I am so full of rage at this point I almost can't contain it someone times.
So lets begin my accutane journal now that I have gotten that out of the way:
Day 1 (September 26th 2012):
I started taking 80mg everyday. Nothing really to report. My acne was mild with one huge cyst.
Day 14:
My face erupted in cysts. I had four on my forehead, one by my nose and one on my chin. I also had 3 big whiteheads that sprouted up almost overnight in weird ass places. I also went back to get the rest of prescription. The idiots at Rite Aid told me that I would be able to pick up the rest of my prescription (i only paid for half at the time I bought it) when I ran out. They told me that I needed a new Rx and it turned into a huge shit show. Needless to say I almost beat the piss out of the kid who told me I could pay for half now and then half later. I asked him repeatedly if this would cause any issues and he assured me it was all good. He then told me and my Dr that he never said that and that he knew you could only fill your Accutatne Rx once per month through iPledge. Here I am, trying to get through my initial breakout and now I have to stop (which means I have to go through it all over again when i can get my Rx)...what a waist of money and time. I am SOOOOO depressed. Within two weeks my face went from mild to fairly severe. My lips were falling off no matter how much crap I put on them, my skin texture was awful and dry. It also thinned my skin out so little imperfections look much bigger...smaller scars that are hardly noticeable seem MUCH more noticeable. I remember this happening the last time I took accutane and within one month of stopping my skin filled out and looked amazing. It was like i shed so much skin that it completely resurfaced my skin. Even old scars looked better and for the most part you would never imagine I had a skin problem. I think most people think scarring is worse on accutane because of this. Their skin thins out and they start ranting on boards saying how bad accutane scarred them but never update people when their skin is awesome and filled out again once they stop. They move on with their lives. This was ALWAYS the case with me...trust me, your skin will plump back out and they WILL go away (or at least become hardly noticeable--probably unnoticeable to anybody but you ha!)
Day 36 (over two weeks without accutane):
My face calmed down and the cysts are almost gone. In fact my skin looks pretty damn good with the exception of the healing red marks which don't bother me too bad. I even went out and got lots of attention from girls. It definitely felt great when girls were looking at me and smiling and coming up to me at the bar telling me how handsome they thought I was. It was just the boost I needed! It was definitely the accutane that fucked my skin up. Moreover, Its roughly 36 days since since I started (today is November 1st). I have all my accutane this time and even got Bactrim so help avoid the shit show that happened last time...I seriously can't handle that shit again! Also, I am only going to take 40mg and see how my face goes....80mg was too much too quick (granted I am a fairly big dude at 195lbs and 6'2''.
Day 18 (started the clock over):
Like clock work my skin is starting to get worse again. I have been taking 40mg now for 18 days and Bactrim twice per day. Up until a few days ago I didn't really have any pimples. My skin was flat and the Bactrim, I think, had a lot to do with that. Right now I have a cyst that showed up on my forehead a few days ago and has persisted. I have tried icing it down which only helps for a little bit. I also had two whitehead pop up...weird places. I can handle whiteheads since they do their thing and flatten out after a few days or so but I can't handle painful cysts. I guess I should be lucky I only have one (at the moment). My skin is thinning out again and my lips are chapped but not falling off. I decided to try some hydrocortisone cream on my cyst. I didn't put much on but am hoping it will help with the inflammation. Also, I am now only taking one Bactrim pill every day as opposed to two. I decided to also bump up to 80mg today as well while I still have two weeks left of my Bactrim. I think I might have to accept that my skin is going to get worse before it gets better. I am trying to stay strong...its just hard when you have this throbbing pain from a cyst (it looks like I was hit it the head with a hammer). I know lots of people on here have all gone through the dreaded first couple months and generally get to a more manageable level from there on out. Considering my skin wasn't that bad to begin with, I am hoping this phase will only last a few weeks. Its really bad when your skin texture is shit AND you have massive pimples. I just want to get to the part where I only have shit skin texture...I can handle that. Anyways, I have still been lifting hard and doing cardio the whole time. I haven't had any muscle soreness yet and haven't felt any fatigue yet either aside from my dry eyes. I go back to my Derm on the 27th. I will update you all at that time. I am expecting my skin will be purging big time by then as I will have been taking 80mg for ten days straight. Hopefully its not too bad though. Once I feel my skin is done purging I am going to start taking the full dose of 100mg everyday. However, I won't start doing that until at least my two month mark. Because I exercise so much, I don't want to shock my system and put that much stress on my body. I will also probably not lift as heavy of weights. I am just going to maintain what I have if I can for the duration of my course. I am babbling now and expect that my future posts to be much more to the point and shorter. Please feel free to ask any questions and good luck with your acne struggle! Its sucks and right now I absolutely despise everyone i see with flawless skin hahaha.
Hey man, that sucks that you could not get your meds for a while.. I don't blame you wanting to beat up that guy hahha... I feel you on the struggles. I being struggling with his shit in my face since I was a freshmen in HS, I am now 22.. it's sucks and its quite embarrassing too. Well at least you know what to expect since u been on accutane before. This is my first time, been on it for 0ne month 40mg per day and starting 80 mgs per day starting tomorrow and for the rest of the treatment... Man i was not ready for the Initial Breakout, my face looked worst than ever for almost 4 weeks. It started to calm down now.. Well good luck and keep us posted. Hope we get ride of this shit for good. take care man.
Thanks man! Glad to hear your face is calming down. You will probably have another month of hell but it WILL get better....then it's just a matter of getting use to dry ass skin for awhile. My cyst is now coming to a head with a huge whitehead. I might have to where a band aid at work tomorrow...I pretty much refuse to pop them. I don't want scars and would rather have a big whitehead for a little while than a lifelong scar. All of the pimples I get come to a head really fast which I like on this stuff even tho that's pretty much what is causing them grrr...this next month is going to be tough but hopefully we can both start the year off with relatively clear skin. Keep me posted on your progress dude...you aren't alone. Just know that when you are done your skin is gonna rock and you are gonna be amazed at how good it feels!!!
Today is Thanksgiving. I'm having a rough day. I didn't even want to be around my family this holiday but my sister talked me into making the 8 hour drive over here. I woke up this morning and my sweet little niece was crawling all over me when she stopped and asked me "how did you get all those ouwees". I immediately wanted to get up and leave but I smiled and just told her I'm sick. I spent the next few hours feling low and extremely angry (not at me niece). Feeling low, I went downstairs and jogged for an hour on the treadmill. I came back up an sat down when my mother walked in it one minute later and yelled at me for not immediately taking a shower and basically said I have acne at my age because I'm dirty. I feel so much hate and anger at god and the world lately...I've been battling this for 15 years and feel like I just don't have it in me anymore. I often want to break thngs or stab myself in the face over and over with a fork and be done with it....eliminate my hope that one day I will be able to feel happy about my skin. I wish I was home....alone and shut out from the world.
You are here, which is a good place to be, no matter how awful it may feel to be around other people. The holidays are a special hell for us - that much more attention is focused on us due to having all of those extra people around us.
Allow me to be blunt, but your mother's a bitch. That's completely uncalled for, unsupportive, and only tears you down. It is also not true. Anyone who spends ten minutes researching acne will know that it's not a matter of cleanliness. I know it doesn't stop feeling hurt by her comments, but it makes me angry that someone who is supposed to care for you be so cruel and ignorant - ESPECIALLY about a subject that already hurts you enough.
No stabbing yourself! That is bad - and if you do, Elsewhere will be very displeased and will have to wrestle the fork down. (In which we will then use it to eat pie. What kind of pie? Any kind you want. I like pie.)
I hope the day gets better. No matter what, we're here for you.
Thanks Elsewhere! That was a really tough time and your response was much appreciated! My mom is great but just has always thought of acne as a temporary condition that everyone gets. People who have never had acne, not pimples, but acne will never understand how badly it ravages your self esteem. I have read other posts you have made and they are all extremely sweet...I hope nothing but great things for you!
Day 30 (1st month down)
Well things have gotten better but my skin seems to be taking FOREVER to heal the existing pimples. They are slowly but surely flattening out. Today marks my 12th day on 80mg and so far I really haven't noticed much of a difference other than the fact that my lips and eyes seem to be dryer. I have one small pimple on my left temple that stings really bad if I barely touch it so I am not sure whats up with that. The flew small umps that I have under my skin will probably be there for awhile I am guessing but so long as they are fading away I am happy. I have been getting lip zits that hurt...I have read other people getting these while on tane and they suck. I am telling myself next month will be more ups and downs but am very optimistic that around day 60 I will have a smooth face. We can only hope I suppose. The gym has been going really well. I lifted chest yesterday and was able to rep more weight than I have repped before. I haven't noticed any extended muscle soreness yet or anything like that (could be because I eat extremely healthy and take plenty of vitamins-excluding A of course). Although now that I think about it, I do feel lathargic as of late. Also, I started using emu oil two days ago (Laid of Montana Sensitive Skin Cream) and I REALLY like it. I am not going to give my review until I have used it for at least a month. It always pisses me off when someone gives a review over something they have only used for a week...the bare minimum should be at at least one month. Its a Friday night and I am just taking it easy although I would much rather be doing something awesome but am just telling myself that there will be a time for that in the future...Just be patient!!! I really hope I am clear by the end of the month and have my confidence back for the new year. All of the constant moisturizing and lip balm, dry eyes, etc. are hard to take while you still have pimples. This medicine goes down much easier with clear skin hahaha. Hope you all are doing well!
Day 39
Well, things are improving daily! My red spots from old acne are more pink then red now and my face is completely smooth EXCEPT for one bump beneath my left temple. Its been there for a LONG time and I am getting sick of it. It doesn't hurt at all but is just sitting there. I am hoping that it will do something...anything, so it can be done with itself already! I know these are pretty common with tane so I am just chalking it up to what was expected (the first few months to suck). My forehead and temples were really the only place I get acne and right now my skin is completely clear which is great. (I haven't had a new pimple since before Thanksgiving!!) I can feel my confidence coming back a little each day which I am loving. Its so nice not having an oily forehead these days. I have been using my emu cream at night all over my face when I get out of the shower and then using a light moisturizer on my mouth area during the day. My face hasn't gotten dry except for a few areas (the only other dryness I have is on my shoulders). I have to say it again but It's SO nice not having an oily forehead by the end of each day! Its weird to have normal behaving skin for a change. I am really hoping that this course of accutane will get my oil glands to a normal state!!! If things continue like they have, I am expecting that my face will be smooth and the marks will be even fainter by the end of the month which is what I was really hoping for. I told myself that if things are looking good by the end of month two that I shouldn't have to worry too much about getting anymore pimples for awhile (hopefully ever haha). I will be upping my dosage to 100mg in 21 days provided I continue to progress like I have been. From then on out I am pretty much going to blast my skin for the next 4+ months. I have been continuing to lift hard at the gym and haven't had any issues yet. I have boozed a few times but haven't gotten wasted and always drink extra water before, during, and after. I will continue to make updates and wish you all the best of luck.
How's it going?
I'm a 29 year old male in the same possession as you: In good shape, mild-moderate acne, just sick of it. I'm going to take the plunge this month.
I work in a business environment so I'm worried about looking stupid with the IB.
Hey Jonny! I know EXACTLY how you feel! You are making the right choice though in getting on it and getting it over with ASAP. I was so sick of letting pimples mess with my happiness and really feel hopeful that I will get some MAJOR benefit from going through a long treatment. I better, I spent $1,200 this month on my meds and dr visit (I have a high deductible and lucky for me I will meet it just in time for it to renew come January 1st. I could have waited but REALLY didn't want to be on this med during summer so that I can enjoy the hell out it). Luckily, I make enough money at my job to handle it, although I admit, it still stings to shell out that kind of money but not as much as having acne does. You mentioned how stupid the IB would make you feel and I think you will just have to man up and deal with it like the rest of us. I work for a tech company and most of the people I work with are in their early to mid twenties and ALL have perfect skin haha. If I can be 30 and walk around with pimples on my face, so can you...granted, I was constantly in a mild rage because of it. My IB was terrible and I am guessing it was a combination of the fact that I was getting a break out AND my derm put me on way to high of dose to begin with. I could have saved myself a LOT of heart ache if I had just gone with my gut and started at 40mg. I know I would have gotten the whiteheads and such but would not have gotten the extremely large and painful cysts. Looking back, I think it was a blessing in disguise that I ran out of meds in October and let my skin calm down. The bactrim really helped by IB cool off too. My advice to you is start off slow, it probably won't be that bad. I am pretty sure I am over the worst (fingers crossed) and am now thinking less and less about my skin and more about other things...like my life haha. Be sure to drop me a line if you have any more questions or let me know that you have started a thread of your own to share your experience. I know it has helped me and will be glad to offer my support.
Day 62
Hello all. Things have been going awesome. I only had two pimples the entire month of December. One of them was by my lip and was pretty painful but it actually went away quickly (5 days). The other one was really tiny and not worth talking about. Also, the pimple I have had just sitting on my face for the last few months finally went away. It was weird because it didn't hurt or anything but just sat there for SO long. It FINALLY came to a head one morning about two weeks ago and I was able to drain it. I am happy to report that my skin is totally smooth! I don't have any red marks either. The emu oil I was using has really made a huge difference. I have marks but they are all light pink. I am hoping that they will all be gone within the next two months but finally feel good about myself again. Its been a really hard past few months but my confidence is soaring big time and I am definitely looking forward to going on dates this year. I have four months left but feel amazing knowing that I will hopefully not have to worry about getting massive cysts and can move on with my life! My lips are chapped, my eyes are dry, and I occasionally get lower back and joint pain. However, none of these side effects have prevented me from lifting/running hard. I have noticed I do get lethargic but can deal with all of this another four months. My skin is weird too, one day it looks good an other day it looks old and gaunt. I also had creases show up under my eyes that were only visible to when i smiled but it seams to be gone now. I think it was microswelling around my eyes from not getting enough sleep which was exacerbated by the medicine. Whatever the case maybe, this medicine definitely effects the skin on my face WAY more than anywhere else on my body. I also increased my dosage 11 days ago to 100mg per day and will be sticking with it for the next four months. I will admit that I am already sick of this medicine but am just telling myself that it will be worth it this summer when I can go out and not worry that I am gonna break out bad and have a bummer time when I should be living it up! I am just so glad my skin is healing the way it has been and that I haven't gotten any break outs for awhile. If my success continues I expect that my skin will be free of all marks within the next two months. Aside from that I don't really have much else to say. Hope you all are having great success too! try the Sensitive Skin Cream with Emu Oil (it has amazing ingredients and is awesome for your skin!).
Dosage:
18 days 40mg
33 days of 80mg
11 days at 100mg
Side Effects:
Chapped ass lips
dry eyes
tired more often
occasional lower back and joint pain
Day 96
Hello everyone (to the one or two people who might read this haha). Life is going well these days. I have only had one pimple since my last post. I attribute it to the large dose I am taking. It was in a weird spot where I never get zits and was pissed off like my IB (not a cyst though). Anyways, my emu cream is doing wonders. My pink spots are really light now and it really helps with skin tone. I have noticed my skin is thinning out big time but that was expected. I did get scratched good while dancing with some idiot girl. It was a week ago and is almost gone but I was livid when it happened and thought I might get a scar (I'm paranoid). My derm told me she is only going to keep me on it for another two months (total of 5 months). I am happy though because I am getting tired of shelling out $1,000.00 in medical expenses every month. I am also really getting sick and tried of having dry eyes, taking pills, moodiness, dry lips, funky face skin, etc. I am really grateful though my skin is looking great. I am guessing by the time I finish accutane my skin will be blemish free (knock on wood). Its crazy to think I only have one more Dr. visit for this crap. I REALLY can't wait to go in there knowing its my last time! I am still planning on taking retina-A when I am done to try and get the best skin I have ever had. I am also terribly excited for summer. I will be done with tane, have no side effects (pray to god), have a near perfect complexion, get a little tan, stay ripped from working out, and LIVE IT UP! For now though, I am SOOO happy I have my confidence back. I have still been blasting myself in the gym without too much trouble from tane. One thing I have noticed is that I can't sleep very well. I ALWAYS wake up and then have a tough time falling back to sleep. I really hope that goes away when I finish my course! I have still been at the same dosage (100mg/day) since my last post. Thats all I got, good luck to you all and I will post at the end of the month unless someone has a question or something. Good luck everyone...just a few months ago I was completely destroyed and now I am totally back to me. It WILL get better!
Day 121
Hello again. I had my last Dr. visit a few days ago and will be picking up my last Rx tomorrow!!! What a long journey this has been. I haven't gotten any new pimples since my last post and my marks are continuing to fade. My eyes are very dry and constantly feel tired which is getting really old. Also, my lips are just flat falling off no matter how much crap I slather on them. My derm gave me a prescription for hydrocortisone which she said would help a lot. I am going to take it easy in the gym and probably won't be lifting much for the next few weeks. I pulled a muscle in my shoulder and assume accutane has a lot to do with it. My tendons and joints over all seem more creaky and not as flexible...I think the long term consumption and high dose has slowed me down a bit. I have still been taking 100mg/day. However, its not that bad as I can still run and what not. My skin seems thinner as my lines on my face seem much more visible as well as superficial scars. I will run out of pills around April 12th and can't wait to be off this medication. I am glad it cleared me up but I am really starting to feel burnt out by this med. I also developed an itchy rash on the top of my right hand. Its funny because there are days when my skin looks glowing and other days where it just doesn't look very good (e.g. texture/tone, not acne). I also can't wait to have my money back! I can't believe how much I have had to sacrifice to have skin that most people get to take for granted. It really pisses me off sometimes if I think about it too much. I am just gong to lay low for this month I think and practice my guitar more. Its gonna be really nice not to have to worry about breaking out this spring and summer. I just keep telling myself that all of the side effects, pill popping, and money devouring will be worth it!!!! I am going to be in a wedding in the middle of May and really hope that my skin will look awesome just like before when I stopped taking accutane because there is going to be a lot of good looking single ladies there. Anyways, I hope your journey is going smoothly and the meds are working for you like they are me. Hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Day 149
I am almost done!!! The side effects are getting to be really bad. I am SOOO tired all the time, especially a few hours after I take my pills. My mind seems a little warped too. I haven't been able to workout for awhile now because my shoulder still won't heal. My lips are still chapped to hell. The lines on my forehead seem much more noticeable. I have also lost weight. I REALLY want my body back. My eyes are still really dry and look really beady. I notice that I get light headed if I sit for a while and then stand up. I was getting some itchy rashes but they just decided to leave one day which was nice. I have still been taking 100mg per day and can't believe my journey is almost complete....Just 12 more days left! On the flip side, my acne is pretty much gone....can't remember the last pimple I got. The marks on my face continue to fade and are hardly noticeable anymore.
I am REALLY looking forward to the future. My plan is start hitting the gym hard and eating extremely healthy over the next few months. I want to basically look my best by the end of May and feel my best as well. I have noticed that I get depressed pretty easy these last number of weeks but I am positive that it is due to the fact that I haven't been working out and all of the side effects that are just getting old to live with. I went out for St. Patty's and did not feel very happy. My body literally feels like its fried and withered away. I found it hard to look people in the eye so I left early...that and this girl that goes to my gym that I am pretty much am in love with was there and looked right at me. I felt awful that she saw me at my worst...just hope that she gets the chance to see me at my best. Who knows, she may even talk to me. I will probably open a new thread for my post accutane experience. I really hope that I get to fill it with all of the things I have imagined and dreamed of for so long. The end is almost here...a few months from now my life will be back to where I want it. I will be out there having fun and living it up!!!
162 Days - Finished!!!!
That was last Friday. It has been three days since I finished. Today was the first day that I could feel the side effects start to wear off. I think my lips will actually be normal for a change by the end of the week. I swear, if another person comments on how chapped they are I am gonna scream! I started going to the gym thiis morning and bought a ton of health food. I am now entering the final phase of my journey (amazing shape and healthy skin). My goal is to be in top shape by no later than the end of the first week in June. I also bought some Retin-A cream which I just started using tonight to help with some really shallow scars I have. Last time this stuff totally removed them. They are really only visible in certain light and I think they will fill in even more just getting off accutane. Nevertheless, I told myself I am going to get as close to perfect skin as I can get by the beginning of summer and I'm almost there. I am a little nervous that it will make my skin go a little crazy like I have read but considering I haven't had a pimple in months and still have accutane in my system, I think I might be able to dodge that bullet.
My skin actually looks really great. If I was to take a picture I think everyone here would be asking me what the hell I am even doing on here. All of the my old marks are very faint. I attribute this to using emu oil almost every night. Now that my skin can heal normally by getting off tane combined with Retin-A, I think I might have the best skin of my life by the end of May. It would feel amazing to be in the sun light and not be worrying about how my skin looks and just know it looks fabulous!
Its kind of funny because i broke out in dry patches on my body and rashes on my hands this weekend which is just now clearing up. My eyes are feeling better and I was able to focus at work today better than I have in a long time. I think these side effects are going to be gone within a few weeks. By the end of summer I hope I am having so much fun that all this crap will be a distant memory. I can still remember how depressed and angry I was in October and November and hope my skin never gets like that ever again. I seriously couldn't take it!
My shoulder is actually feeling a lot better. I lifted legs today and am going to lift upper body tomorrow. I am not gong to go full bore though just to make sure my shoulder doesn't go crazy. If it doesn't then I will be pushing it pretty hard over the next few months as I scramble to pack on the lean muscle I once had. I will probably only post a few more times on this thread until the end of May. After that I am going to write a post accutane thread which I doubt I will post in very often if ever 
At the end of May, if everything goes the way I want it, then I am going to drop all this vanity and start focusing on important parts of my life that have been put on hold while I've been going through all of this.
I have about 1.5 months to go. I will be sure to let everyone know how the Retin-A works out over that time period. If I don't feel like its working and, god forbid, it starts actually making me worse then I am going to discontinue it. My hope is that I will only use it through the end of June. If it does what I want it to then I will probably discontinue use regardless so that I don't have to worry about being outside and getting burnt. I will be wearing sunscreen but I would like to get a little tan...come on, its summer! I will pick it up again though starting in the Fall.
I'll give my final thoughts on my experience on my last post in May/early June. In short, accutane worked. I haven't had any pmiples in a long time. I just hope it stays that way. Hope you all are well!
Congrats on almost finishing the course! It shocked me how you went extremely high dose right off the bat
One question, which insurance do you have to cover for the pills?
