Hello! I am on my third month of accutane at 40mg a day. And like most others, I'm here to vent pretty much and ask a few questions. I am 16, going on 17 in a month, and acne has been haunting me ever since my elementary years. I've been through all the drug store products, (and I mean every single one..) and they didn't do a thing for me. After that step, I decided that I would try proactive. And what a joke that was! Anyway, then I got into the dermatologist. And I was so unbelievably excited. I thought for sure "this is it! They're gonna give me that magic medicine that's gonna make my acne disappear forever!" Boy, was I wrong. It took about 3 - 4 different routines, consisting of topicals and antibiotics for me to realize that medicine doesn't work like magic. Until, I started this routine consisting of Ziana (topical) every night and doxycycline (antibiotic) once every morning with something to eat, along with cetaphil cleanser every night and water in the morning. My face was as clear as it had ever been. I felt like I was on top of the world! Waking up every morning and looking in that mirror and seeing such a beautiful girl looking back at me. It had me crying at some points. But they were happy tears. Dealing with extremely dry skin was no problem at all for me considering my face was as clear and flawless as a child's. But then, the happiness slowly starts to fade when this past spring hit. On the same routine, I noticed I was getting some break outs that I usually didn't get. But I wasn't complaining. As we all are probably not asking for a flawless face with no breakouts whatsoever, considering life doesn't work that way and we are all human! But then, as the months passed.. It continued. My derm, bumping up Ziana to twice a day; did nothing for me. my derm and I had come to the realization my body had become ammune to this routine, and it no longer worked for me. As the days went on, everyday I looked in the mirror that beautiful girl I saw slowly started fading. Day by day. I almost lost all hope until she brought up accutane. I am now in my 3rd month and my face has improved, but it isn't that "miricle" I keep reading and hearing about. I am just very nervous I guess. I feel like this is not going to do the trick, considering all I've gotten out of it so far is a ton of redness and chapped lips. And I'm ready and have been ready for the acne! Because from what I've heard, you get a ton of acne first, and then that is followed by very dry skin the last two months. I know everyone is different, but is that true? And another thing: Does the redness go away when you finish your cycle with it? And if there is anything I should know I would love to hear it! Thank you for listening. It's hard to vent to parents or friends about it because they don't understand how badly it can tear someone apart inside.. I've gotten so upset to the point where I've wanted to punch the mirror. I avoid mirrors as much as possible now because all it does is remind me of the misery stamped all over my face. I've left football games, friends houses, I never go out to parties anymore; I'm slowly losing myself. And it's all out of the misery of acne. And hearing someone say something to you as simple as "who cares it's just acne, everyone has it" makes me want to scream on the top of my lungs. I go to school in yogas/sweats everyday with no foundation and just a little mascara, because the pain of trying to get ready and feel good about myself is too much for me to handle. When I have tried to get ready, I end up bawling at the attempt to cover all the redness and work around the acne. I've skipped school because I tried to get ready and feel good about myself, and it turned out to be the complete opposite. I'm really not a negative girl, I used to be so positive and feel confident.. But I am slowly breaking down. (These are my true feelings, and I hope this doesnt sound like some sob story. Im sorry if it does thats not what I'm getting at!) Luckily, I have been blessed with an amazing best friend and the best boy friend anyone could ever ask for. They keep me going strong. Along with all of you guys! I wouldn't have made it this far without those two, and all of you! Every chance I get I'm reading all these blogs and trying to keep the positives with me. It's nice to know some people get it! Just remember we are ALL in this together. We are one big team. You're all beautiful even if you can't see it right now! And I really do hope for the best for everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read this and if anyone has anything that can help I would love to hear it!