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I have my appointment with the dermatologist tomorrow :banana: (well it is early in the morning, so today), and I cannot sleep. I am nervous about going back on Accutane, and even more nervous that something will go wrong and I will not be able to get my prescription tomorrow! It is winter break and if I get an IB, I would prefer for it to happen when I am not in school/working.

Background: I have had acne since I was in 8th grade (~13-14 y/o) and it developed into cystic acne in high school. I tried everything under the sun and went on Accutane at the end of my senior year. Back then I don't think any generic brands were available, and I do not remember the dosage I was prescribed, but in any event Accutane was a miracle drug. Fast forward to this summer, I had just graduated college and my cystic acne returned. I moved to Italy for the summer and every day I would get a new cyst and I first attributed it to the climate. I was using differin at the time and I suspected that it was causing the breakouts. When I came back from Italy, I stopped using topical creams and birth control and all hell broke loose!

I just started grad school this semester and I am so self conscious about my acne because none of the other students in my program wear makeup or have skin problems. I believe I do suffer from acne dysmorphia because my skin, according to others, is not as bad as I make it out to be, and it completely interferes with my social life. Nevertheless, I have been breaking out constantly over the past 6 months and I do not remember the last time my skin was completely smooth.

The first time I took Accutane, the main side effects that I noticed were achy joints and extremely dry, bleeding lips. I consider these side effects to be mild relative to some of the ones listed in the Ipledge manual! I hope that I can tolerate Accutane as well as I did the first time.

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I know how insane the Ipledge system has gotten since I was on Accutane for the first time a few years ago and I'm sure you remember things differently from your first course as well. I know they're doing it for our own good but that doesn't make it any less frustrating! That said, once you're done jumping through all those hoops it'll be worth it. I hope your appointment goes well!

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Thank you for your reply! Although the Ipledge system is irritating, I completely understand the need for regulation because there are people out there that do not understand the severity of the birth defects associated with Accutane. At the very least, I am sure the pharmaceutical companies want to avoid getting sued. I am using abstinence as one form of birth control, so they should just hand over the prescription!! ;)

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Month 1, Week 1

Day 2

Merry Christmas everyone! :xmas:

I went to Costco to pick up the medication and they gave me 2 boxes of Clavaris. I was pleased to find out that it is possible to fill prescriptions at Costco even if you are not a member. When I answered all the ipledge questions on the phone, I was cracking up at the automated voice, it sounds so scary!! :shifty:

I am concerned about the dosage the PA prescribed! He wants me to take 1 pill once a day and work up to 2 pills a day, but he prescribed 40 mg capsules. That would be 80 mg/day...which sounds like a high dose based on other Accutane logs I've looked at. I am a small girl, I am 5'6" and 120 pounds, and I thought the dose was based on body weight/severity.

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. When my mom asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I said, "clear skin". My dermatologist gave me the greatest present of all, my Accutane prescription!!

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Hey Giselle, thanks for your comment in my log! Good luck with your course and hopefully you had a great Christmas despite skin issues! I am sure clear skin is on it's way for you :). Also as for your dosage - 80mgs may be a little high to start off, but you'd have to ask your derm. When I was that weight I did 40mgs for the entire course I believe although my course was longer than 4 months. Now I'm at 135 and I've been doing 40 mgs the majority of the course and then up to 70 mgs to finish things off once I'm looking good. I'd call your derm if you're concerned, that's the best way to check.

Cheers!

Lisa

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I wouldn't worry too much. 80mg is a lot, but it's what I started at too and I weighed about 98lbs at the time. I'm now down to 60mg because I was getting a bit depressed and my derm didn't want to take any chances, but otherwise I'd still be at 80mg. If you feel like it's too much at the end of the first month you can always have it lowered.

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Thank you both for reassuring me!! It makes me feel better that other girls have been prescribed high doses...

Daisy, did you notice other physical side effects in addition to the depression when you were on the higher dose?

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Month 1, Week 1

Day 5

I am so excited to be back on Accutane, but I want instant gratification that I know is not possible. I keep checking the mirror thinking that my acne is going to magically disappear. My friend that graduated with me in May is back in town this week and I made an excuse to avoid seeing him last night. I really want to see him and catch up since he moved to the east coast for grad school, but I am too damn self conscious about my face. I need to suck it up!!! :sick:

The active cysts on my face have already started to dry up and I haven't had an IB yet, knock on wood. The red marks seem to be less severe, although I could care less since they can easily be concealed with makeup. I hope my face looks better in time for New Year's!!

As far as side effects, my lips are already chapped. The past three nights I had strange dreams, which is uncharacteristic because I never dream. I wonder if this has anything to do with Accutane?

I have myself under house arrest, as I have not left the house since Christmas, when we had an extensive family get-together. That was fun, I got asked about 20 times if I have a boyfriend, or if I am engaged, or if I am married. I felt like Bridgette Jones, haha! I have made the most of the situation by spending time with the parents since I rarely come home, and when I do, I go out with friends.

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Nike, thank you so much for the supportive post! It is very frustrating when acne dysmorphia interferes with everyday life. How were you able to overcome your anxiety in recent months? As this site makes apparent, many people deal with acne, but attitude towards acne varies from person to person.

I have a friend who has severe acne, including an abundance of scars, but she never complains about her skin and maintains admirable confidence levels. I guess it makes me realize that my own insecurities about my skin shouldn't impact me to the magnitude it has.

I am glad to hear that you are doing better with your own insecurities and hopefully the encouragement will help me overcome mine!

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Thank you both for reassuring me!! It makes me feel better that other girls have been prescribed high doses...

Daisy, did you notice other physical side effects in addition to the depression when you were on the higher dose?

Yeah, quite a few actualy. Major joint pain... in my heals. I know, weird. Back pain, weight loss (even when I was eating normaly), difficulty breathing, insomnia. The insomnia is killing me, I'm on medication to help me sleep and I've had to double my dose and I still can't sleep for long periods of time. Those are the main ones. Sorry to hear you just got you IB; I know it's rotten timing, but hopefuly it won't last long!

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Hello! I am on a HIGH dosage too: 80mg divided into 40mg twice a day. My derm wants me on this for 5 months with the idea that maintaining the high dosage for 5 months will completely 'cure' my acne. I was a bit skeptical...ehhhh.

Anyways good luck on everything! I have a bad case of acne dysmorphia too...ughhh hopefully accutane will take care of all this. :D

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Daisy- Your name is so cute, I smile every time I see a post by you, lol. I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing so many side effects. I hope the lower dosage helped alleviate them. How horrible to be sleep deprived, but I would probably stick it out, too, if I were in your position just because a few months of discomfort are worth it to have clear skin.

Nike- Thank you for being my personal psychologist. Your picture cracks me up because it looks like your avatar is listening intently to everyone's problems on here.

UTvols- Thank goodness there are other people out there on the same high dose treatment, it seems like every log I read, the dosage is 20 - 40 mg. I will definitely be checking out your log/accutane posts since we have similar situations. I was kind of annoyed because the PA just handed me the prescription and didn't go over the long term plan as far as the dosage goes, nor did he explain the rationale for 80 mg/day. Good luck and thank you for the support!

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Month 1, Week 2

Day 9

Happy new year!! :turtle:

I overreacted about the IB, it was a false alarm, although I have sprouted a couple of cute, precious little ones. Awww. At least there aren't any new mf cysts.

My side effects are definitely more noticeable at this point, my eyes are dry and I can only wear contacts for 5-6 hours a day. Other than that, nothing has been too bad yet. I dyed my hair brown a couple of days before I started treatment so hopefully my hair will be healthier and won't fall out because I don't want to look like a bald man.

I drank too much last night to celebrate the new year, yet felt sober the whole night!? :shrug: I have read posts on here about people getting drunk faster while on Accutane, so I really have no idea. Usually I am a lightweight and get drunk off of one beer, so apparently Accutane does not want me to have any fun. RUDE.

I hope the new year brings good health and happiness to you all, and more importantly, GOOD SKIN.

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thanks for the post, glad to hear you are doing well and just minor side effects too. you look little it is surprising you are on 80. i feel like im too low but i trust my derm so thats all i can do. keep it up.

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good luck on accutane i hope it works...again for u! i looked at ur pics in ur gallery ur gorgeous!

btw if u want to attach pics on a post u just go to add reply and then under where u wite it says attachments. You just browse for a photo in whatever folder its in and then hit upload!

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1. I tried to post a couple of pictures to the gallery and you can only see one of them when you go to the member gallery page. I have noticed on other people's accounts, a little filmstrip will pop up and you can see all the pictures they have up, so I don't know what I did wrong. But you can see both pictures if you access them directly from my profile thingamajig. I originally did not plan on posting any pictures of myself at all for fear of someone recognizing me, but at the same time this is an acne website so to hell with anyone who makes fun of me. I have the same attitude about going to the library on a Friday or Saturday night (which is a weekly occurrence because I am a nerd), if someone sees me there they have no place to make fun of me since they were there in the first place to even spot me.

I felt the same way! I wasn't even going to use my name let alone an actual picture. Then, I read your log, this entry, and changed my mind!!

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melanie rose - I am going to keep up on your log since we started at the same time. It will be interesting to compare the difference in our progress/side effects since we are on different dosages. You will probably be better off on the lower dose, I can't wait to see all the side effects 80 mg will bring me, lol.

MEaGAiN - Thank you so much for the compliment!! With all these red spots and zits on my face, I feel ugly unless I have makeup on, so it is nice to hear that! Thank you for explaining the uploading to me, I hope I can figure it out once I start posting progress pictures, and if not, I will send you a PM. :)

Daniel J - Thank you for the concern, I know I shouldn't be drinking while I'm on Accutane. I indulged myself for new year's but will definitely keep my drinking to a minimum, aka special occasions.

DM621 - I was a member on here for a month or so before I posted a picture of myself, so it took me a while to work up the courage. I have never seen anyone say anything mean about other user's pictures, this website is very supportive. You are a beautiful girl so there is no reason why you shouldn't post any pictures!

Month 1, Week 2

Day 10

I went shopping yesterday because it makes everything alright :) but I have been experiencing pain in my right shoulder/arm ever since. I finally figured out it was because I draped a ton of dresses on my right arm as I was browsing through the racks, which put a heavy weight on my arm. I am definitely attributing the pain to Accutane, because that never would have happened before I started the treatment. I guess that means that I can't go to the gym or lift weights, hahaha what a great excuse!! The skin on my nose has started to peel a little, so I really should start using a moisturizer. I unknowingly bought some Clean & Clear (and not under control) moisturizer that has these crazy gold sparklies in it and I am thinking about buying jojoba oil or shea butter instead since I have heard good things about them on here (and they don't have crazy gold sparklies).

JK, JK, I changed my mind and I do think that my IB has begun. BUT, to be fair, the acne that has surfaced in the past couple of days has been small relative to the cysts I was getting before. So, it is pretty tolerable for my standards, although I will wait to see what happens when I increase the dosage to 80 mg/day. Dum dum dummm

I have been applying neosporin gel to my problem spots at night, and I also bought some tumeric powder for hyperpigmentation. I think I might wait to start working on the spots until after I get the active acne under control, because what is the use of clearing up red spots if more are going to appear?

In unrelated news, I had a confidence boost today despite my acne woes. My friend's brother and his friend drove me and some friends to a club on new years and my friend texted me today asking if it would be alright if she gave my number to her brother's friend. I felt self conscious, as usual, about my gosh darn face when we were out, but feigned confidence all night. This resulted in several free drinks and a couple of interested bachelors. Yay for clubs with dim lights!! It makes me feel even better that he asked for my number a couple of days later rather than the night of, since I usually assume that anyone who asks for my number at 2 am is only looking for one thing. I reckon that if I pretend that my acne is nonexistent, others won't notice it either!?!?

In other unrelated news, my mum and I rode the new lightrail that just opened up in Phoenix. I spent the summer in Europe and loved the convenience of the extensive metro systems in every large city I went to, and it is about friggin time they build something like that here. It was so funny, it was insanely crowded, as if it were a roller coaster or something, lol. We rode it to Tempe and ate sushi at RA for happy hour, I don't know if RA is a nationwide chain but it is delicious. I call myself a vegetarian but I am actually a pescetarian since I eat fish. MMMMMM las vegas roll. The end.

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Giselle -

I am only on Day 3, but not too far off from you. My dosage is also somewhat close, as I do 40mg twice a day every second day (the other days I only take it once). I was also worried about if this was too high, especially since my acne is not severe, but my dermatologist based it on my weight and said that if I went too low it might just come back. He also called it a "medium" dose as opposed to a high dose, so that was somewhat comforting.

Anyway, I will definitely be following your progress and comparing notes. Best of luck!

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In unrelated news, I had a confidence boost today despite my acne woes. My friend's brother and his friend drove me and some friends to a club on new years and my friend texted me today asking if it would be alright if she gave my number to her brother's friend. I felt self conscious, as usual, about my gosh darn face when we were out, but feigned confidence all night. This resulted in several free drinks and a couple of interested bachelors. Yay for clubs with dim lights!! It makes me feel even better that he asked for my number a couple of days later rather than the night of, since I usually assume that anyone who asks for my number at 2 am is only looking for one thing. I reckon that if I pretend that my acne is nonexistent, others won't notice it either!?!?

Haha nice job! I had to comment that lately i have ONLY been going to bars with friends as opposed to someone's house or something because I know it will be dark!!! Anyways I really think forgetting about the acne is the best way to go. I finally feel like I have a different out look on the whole acne thing, now that I am older, but I still want it G O N E!!!!

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Sorry me again...but I read that you bought tumeric powder for help with your skin? I was actually reading last night (gotta get away from this website!!! lol) that tumeric helps with the fading of red marks? Have you used it before? What do you do with it??

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Daniel - Does the Neutrogena lotion prevent them or fade them? If so, do you know the active ingredient?

Scamptress - I have heard about other people taking alternating doses like that, I will be keeping up on your log as well to see if it is beneficial to take the medicine in that manner. Maybe it will help with side effects!

DM - LOLOL ME TOO, I feel 100x more confident if the lighting is bad, and situate myself in the darkest place possible. I usually try to leave before last call when they turn the lights on. As far as the tumeric, I have not tried it yet, I bought it in the spice/powder form at Target for like $2. I will post on here if it helps at all. Yesterday I actually put olive oil on my face for 10 minutes because I found an old thread on here that it helps with red marks so will let you know how that one works out too. So much to try, and so little time!

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Month 1, Week 2

Day 12

I realized today that it has been nearly 2 weeks since I've cried about my face. It's not that I have seen a drastic improvement in my skin, but I have the optimistic mentality that clear skin is just around the corner.

As far as side effects, my skin looked flushed this morning, but I have a relatively dark complexion to begin with so it kind of looked like a mild sunburn. Other than that, feeling good.

I never realized how much peer pressure there is to drink alcohol, even at my ripe old age. I went out for a little last night and finally ended up ordering a "rum and coke" under pressure, which was really just a plain old coke. I think that I will have to come clean with my friends that I am on Accutane, although they won't understand since they have never seen me without makeup and don't believe that I have an acne problem. Little do they know, I rarely socialized over the past 6 months because of my skin, and when they did see me, it was on a "good" night when I was able to muster up enough confidence to go out. Yep, definite acne dysmorphia.

I am so happy that I am starting to get some confidence back. I feel almost...normal. :bs:

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haha no problem if u ever PM i shall respond quickly! Im 18 (like the first time u were on accutane?)and just on topical stuff rt now from my derm, but i was wondering what all did u have to use b4 the first time u were on accutane? like topicals/antibiotics....if my topicals dont work i just want to take accutane to get it over with, but i think i have moderate acne, so idk sigh.

oh just curious what are u studying in grad school/planning to do?

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