Hey folks,

I am terrible with introductions so I will jump straight into it.

Been here for a number of years, I have suffered from acne since 16. In the past, they would scar and look like enlarged pores. Since the age of 21, they started to indent but I wouldn't get constant acne. They usually come in a bunch then go away so I could treat them. I am now 25 and for the past 4 months, I have been getting roughly 6 cyst spots a month and they are all scarring heavily. Before this, I was treating the scarring with 30% TCA and dermarolling and honestly, they were getting so much better. However, it took years to get it to look decent but now that's mostly have all been undone.

I have no idea what triggers it. I juice, I go to the gym, I am careful with washing my face (natural products), I sleep lots and have cut out milk, sugar and things like coffee. Call me Jack Bauer because I basically water-board myself with the amount of water I drink throughout the day. I treat my acne with Lymecycline and Benzoyl Peroxide (5%). I was given Epiduo (0.1% Adapalene, 2.5% Benzoyl Peroxide) but stopped because the acne was still scarring, its still scarring with Benzoyl Peroxide (5%). It doesn't matter how fast I treat my acne, or if it naturally bleeds and scabs over, it still indents. I even steam my face to open up the pores, it doesn't help.

The only thing I can think of that triggers this would be my depression. Had it for many years and stopped using medication to treat it because I thought that might be a trigger. I have been very low recently and reached out for help. After opening up to the doctor and went in-depth with how bad it gets (attempted suicide in University) he gave me an address for a youth club that opens once a month for people who can go and speak to somebody. I appreciate the NHS but it doesn't take stuff like this seriously.

I went to the dermatologist several times but went recently for my last appointment. He told me to let all my acne scar and then save up for laser treatment. Its embarrassing but I broke down soon as I left the room because I have been around here long enough to know that lasers don't do anything.

I made a collection of day to day videos that I edited with some clips with me wearing makeup. I was going to post asking for help on how to treat and cover it up. Only a day or two afterward, cyst acne broke out again. I don't think it's the make-up because I rarely touch it and I am super careful about hygiene (throwing out sponges etc). Even as I type this, I got one new cyst on my temple after waking up today.

Hopefully, in the video, it shows how fast I get cyst acne and why I am feeling a little down.

I feel that I am beyond dermarolling and TCA at this point. I don't know if I should book another appointment with a doctor? To speak to somebody. I live in Wales, UK, so I don't know how advanced our treatments are when it comes to filler. I wouldn't be able to afford it because I am struggling to get employed. I am getting interviews but I think my lack of confidence shows and I never feel my best (even after 10 hrs of sleep). My biggest worry is that acne taking out my hair because part of my eyebrow and beard has been removed due to acne.

Thanks for reading.

PS: If you need any more photos, I will try my best.