Ok so. I had acne ever since middle school. The acne was pretty bad but I didn't care. I was reserved and accepted I will never have a person in my life that will love me. I was still in the closet so that made me even more reserved. When I started 9th grade my acne was pretty bad still, but was different. It wasn't that hormonal acne I got in middle school that will not go away, it was a weird type of acne. It would get worse by triggers- WHICH wasn't the case in middle school, it was bad the whole time whether I did this or that. However in 9th grade it had its ups and downs so I thought it was food. I was controlling my diet but it still seemed random. So I just lived through 9th grade with bad acne. I also came out in 9th grade so I used instagram to maintain my self confidence with removing the acne in pictures. It's during 10th grade that my life changed. I was eating a giant cheese thing, knowing my skin would look HORRIBLE the next day/week, but it didnt. I woke up the next morning and my skin was SOOOO much better. Like.... I was shocked, from there on I knew my acne wasn't directly triggered by food. After some time my acne was bad again. I went to a doctor who told me I had very dry skin. She gave me a gentle moisturizer. The first night i used it I thought it woudn't work, but it did. My acne was 90% gone. Completely. I was so happy. But thing is, That night I used it I got a strong pneumonia, which didnt let me breathe in air with out throwing up anything inside me. Took 3-4 weeks to recover from it. My skin quickly went horrible. After I recovered, my skin was still pretty bad. But after about 2 months using the moist cream the doctor gave me, my skin got better. IT was 100% clear. Completely. It was amazing. However, I HATE having to wear stuff. I like being natural completely. Summer soon came and I stopped wearing it. My acne wasn't bad, it was mild. I was literally only washing my face with water for the entire summer and it was completely fine. First day of 11th grade, the night before i couldn't sleep, and my skin formed red spots, like a sun burn kinda. Throughout the week it got worse and worse, I thought my skin needed sleep for be clear, so I took sleeping pills to sleep but overnight it did nothing, it either stayed the same or got worse. During summer my skin ALWAYS got better when I woke up. I didn't have a sleeping routine you see, I slept when ever I felt I wanted to. Some times up till 5 in the morning, My skin would be pretty iffy during that time, but then when I went to sleep for like 10 hours it was all fine. So back to 11th grade 2nd week, it got worse over the weekend. It's pretty bad right now and I don't know what to do. I am on the 4th week right now and my skin is just idk. I used the cream that worked before, it made my skin better actually, then during the day it got bad out of no where and stayed the same even with the cream the next day. Its pretty bad right now. My skin is burning and really itchy and dry. Idk what to do. I failed all my classes in 10th grade. I wasnt confident and I didn't pay attention to anything, only my skin. I missed like 3 days of school this year already. I don't wanna fail 11th grade as well. But acne is something I can't let dwell on my skin, and I can't stop thinking about it till its gone, or I am distracted by a movie/ video game. I need help. This is destroying me. Idk whats making my skin go bad and whats healing it. One day the cream works, next day it doesn't. Next day sleeping works, then next day it does nothing. One day that works the other day it does nothing. I lost hope for my skin. And I can't control my life till I fix this issue. I know I am good looking. I get guys liking me. But thats when I dont have my acne. I cant go on with this issue its literally making me want to either end my life or stay in my room distracted- WHICH is what I been doing. I need some serious help. I am tearing up and I feel like my whole life has been crushed by some force I dont control. Going to attach a picture of my acne now and my skim when it was clear with the cream.