OK guys Ive come back after a few years out doing my thing. Let me give you a brief origin story and then well get on to the part where I offer my advice, my current regimen and some little tips.

So I guess it all started back in school when I was around 10/ 11 and I started getting my first pimples. Oh what I wouldnt give to have it like that now, the odd small reddy on the chin, even then it bothered me though, and I even remember this one time where I sneakily coloured one in back felt tip so that it wouldnt look like a spot, instead just a simple spot of ink which had smeared on my face. This lasted the best part of 30 seconds before someone commented and I looked like a fool with a coloured in pimple.

Anywho I guess the one developed to two, and they became more often, and they became long term settlers and eventually a part of my life. It was around the time of being 16 that I accepted that I actually have acne as i never thought it would happen to good old me, but it had. I started panicking about what my face looked like, and begun the cycles of buying what I could from the supermarket, or the shop and started buying clearasil and stuff like that, not looking into things deeply, but reading the bit which said clears skin and thought Yes! Just what I need. When these didnt work I was prescribed antibiotics (tetracycline) I was given this for around three years straight, all the while my condition getting worse. I got into a serious state, like I had some big horrible ones on my nose, by my eyes, often by my mouth, on my neck Looking back I was really brave to deal with it all, but it smashed my self confidence down to zero, and that continued for years after.

I often wonder if I had followed a good regimen at the time if my skin would have stayed calmer and never deteriorated into the state that it did. Unfortunately I will never know this, so its not worth pondering.

It got worse and worse. Until I saw a doctor and he told me that I needed to go to the dermatologist, I mean I knew my skin was bad but that really hit home for me. I want to see the dermatologist and after some serious thinking I went onto accutane. The course did help me out a lot, I noticed a difference from the start to the end, but also it continued helping for some time after that, and since, I have barely had cystic acne.

Im now at a stage two years after accutane details to follow.

So my hormones were definitely fluctuating, and my stress levels were high, and what made them the highest was social situations, talking to people, seeing people I liked face to face, seeing them from afar. All of it can be stemmed back to one thing. The fear of things can all be drawn back to one cause, which is acne itself. Crazy, how the infection itself doesnt have that many side affects, but the worst ones are what our thinking does to us that make it so much worse than it is, and side effects then include: low self esteem (even negative self esteem), lack of social interactions, zero confidence, wasted time in the bathroom, wasted time sleeping and cursing life, so much more. I guess the main thing I want you to take from it all is that acne itself isnt the main problem, its the way we think of it, and more what we think others think of us.

I remember being so scared of acne or admitting it or something that I would open this website and any others which are related on a private tab so that no one could see that I was doing stuff for some reason. Maybe if people had known the time I was putting into it then they would have respected me- purely for my dedication and commitment to the cause. Im talking hours of my day- I remember counting it all and it was 3 hours, thats washing super carefully, moisturising etc etc. It hit me when I would start to see a TV show, go have a shower, come back down and id missed some of the show- which was on the +1 channel! Plus whatever other time I would spend just thinking about it all. Ah crazy stuff.

I hate, hate, hate the associations that go with bad skin- unclean and dont wash enough, eat too much junk food. Now of course these can come in to play, but only if you are prone already. This doesnt explain why classmates that ate fast food every day got away with it and had decent skin, much to my healthy eating ways annoyance. Again though, its all about perspective, and its no good to judge and compare yourself to others in any way, so try not to.

Dont get me wrong, Im now 23, my current situation: I still have breakouts which make me feel bad, especially because I hoped it would be a teenager thing, and no-one wants to see an adult with acne (bad luck society, cause here I am!) My chin, cheeks and temples have scars, oh and the back of my neck. And sometimes I still wish I didnt have the hassle of it all. Dreaming of how much easier things would have been. But thats how its gone, thats how it was meant to be for some reason and I cant change it, thinking about it isnt going to do much at all. Moving on to the positives. My breakouts arent as bad. I dont get big horrible cysts anymore. Ive got a better mindset to cope with it.

My regimen is very unspecific (there arent any miracle products out there for me, so I get gentle, non comedogenic products). Twice a day I use:

Simple Face wash

A very gentle toner once a day to exfoliate lightly

A good moisturiser

Time to open up some feelings to let it out and maybe to draw some similarities with you, dear reader.

The things I hate most:

When you have spots near your lips, so that when you smile it hurts.

How it takes control of your life, and can make you have a bad day- day after day.

Knowing when you get a new one, that its going to be there for a while.

The feeling of having very little control over it.

When you have ones on your back and neck that hurt to lay or sit back on.

Not seeing anything in the mirror but your blemishes.

HOWEVER

Dont let it stop you going out and doing things you like to do.

If people mind that much forget them, you dont want them in your life anyway.

Keep your mind occupied with other, more productive things, things that will develop you and make you happy.

Go to the gym and workout- this helped me so much because its a lot about self image. Now that I have reasonable skin, I have been left with a great body, and that makes me feel good about myself.

Respect others, just as you wish everyone would respect you and try to understand what youre dealing with. I have become such an empathetic person from this.

Guys eventually youll grow out of it, so in the meantime dont let it get on top of you.

Ive gone on so much. I pray that I have helped you even a little, that would make me so happy. Its such a struggle I know but see it through and still try to enjoy yourself. Im aware that the amount ive rambled on makes it seem like a bigger deal than it is too, please dont fall into that trap. There is so much to get from life and you shouldnt let a genetic inevitability control you, get you down, or stop you enjoy the gift that is life.

Ive got a soft spot for anyone that I know is dealing with, or has had to deal with bad complexion and like to give them a smile. So maybe well pass each other by in the real world, and flash a knowing smile.