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Is This A Thing?

MemberMember
6
(@kingjosie)

Posted : 06/22/2015 4:41 am

I have light/mild acne im pretty sure, but i seem to make a big deal out of it according to everyone ive vented to. i think my skin looks disgusting and everyones going to notice and judge, and people say im overreacting or "it barely notices" or "theres nothing there" like im the only one who can see the severeness?

its gotten to the point where i hate taking showers because it makes it feel groggy and i feel disgusting everytime i eat because im convinced everything makes my skin oilier which i can feel.

ive seen two gp's and theyve both said i dont have acne or they havent noticed it.

my problem is i look for acne in everyone i talk to in order to make me feel more normal, so i only worry people do the same to me and see the grossness i see. and i also feel bad because i know people have it worse but i cant help feeling depressed about my skin yknow?

 

are people just being polite? or do they genuinely not see anything and im overreacting?

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MemberMember
160
(@megtree)

Posted : 06/22/2015 10:50 am

I have light/mild acne im pretty sure, but i seem to make a big deal out of it according to everyone ive vented to. i think my skin looks disgusting and everyones going to notice and judge, and people say im overreacting or "it barely notices" or "theres nothing there" like im the only one who can see the severeness?

its gotten to the point where i hate taking showers because it makes it feel groggy and i feel disgusting everytime i eat because im convinced everything makes my skin oilier which i can feel.

ive seen two gp's and theyve both said i dont have acne or they havent noticed it.

my problem is i look for acne in everyone i talk to in order to make me feel more normal, so i only worry people do the same to me and see the grossness i see. and i also feel bad because i know people have it worse but i cant help feeling depressed about my skin yknow?

 

are people just being polite? or do they genuinely not see anything and im overreacting?

 

What people see on your skin does not translate to how you feel about what you see on your skin. In other words, you know the location, size, shape, color and lifecycle of every single blemish on your skin, but people only see snapshots of your face in it's entirety. People may see you on a good skin day and say "your skin really isn't that bad" and you find no comfort in that because you know tomorrow can bring a whole new onslaught of pimples. Or not - the point is - you don't *feel* like you have what you perceive to be 'normal, healthy skin' (aka clear skin). What people see and how you feel are two COMPLETELY different things. You aren't over-reacting to how you feel. You may be overreacting to what you think they see. Just because you see "disgusting" skin, doesn't mean other people do. This doesn't mean you are overreacting, and that doesn't mean that they are just being polite. It's just your subjective opinion and their objective opinion may not always agree. You don't see what other people see. You don't walk up to someone and pull their face close and examine every pore and redspot and scar and freckle, right? You see their face in totality, for a few seconds at a time, while having a conversation.

 

Also, I find that people are very uncomfortable discussing skin maladies with other people, even people who share that malady! It is so stigmatized that any mention or complaint of the state of one's skin can elicit all kinds of socially ingrained responses to negate the subject.

 

It's human nature - when someone says "Oh my gosh I have this pimple I look disgusting" most people will immediately respond with "Oh, it's not that bad", because that is the nice thing to do. Nothing is solved in that situation, and you are only left wondering if they were "just being polite'.

 

If you wan't a response or some kind of empathy, try saying "I am really worried that my skin isn't healthy because I keep breaking out"!. That's something people can respond to with honesty and understanding without worrying about further hurting your feelings or drawing attention to whatever makes you feel "disgusting". People can respond to a subjective feeling, aka "I feel anxious" because they've probably felt anxious before and they can empathize and provide advice. It's hard for people to comment on an objective statement like "I look disgusting" because there is just no good comforting response to that.

 

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MemberMember
6
(@kingjosie)

Posted : 06/22/2015 3:24 pm

 

I have light/mild acne im pretty sure, but i seem to make a big deal out of it according to everyone ive vented to. i think my skin looks disgusting and everyones going to notice and judge, and people say im overreacting or "it barely notices" or "theres nothing there" like im the only one who can see the severeness?

its gotten to the point where i hate taking showers because it makes it feel groggy and i feel disgusting everytime i eat because im convinced everything makes my skin oilier which i can feel.

ive seen two gp's and theyve both said i dont have acne or they havent noticed it.

my problem is i look for acne in everyone i talk to in order to make me feel more normal, so i only worry people do the same to me and see the grossness i see. and i also feel bad because i know people have it worse but i cant help feeling depressed about my skin yknow?

 

are people just being polite? or do they genuinely not see anything and im overreacting?

 

What people see on your skin does not translate to how you feel about what you see on your skin. In other words, you know the location, size, shape, color and lifecycle of every single blemish on your skin, but people only see snapshots of your face in it's entirety. People may see you on a good skin day and say "your skin really isn't that bad" and you find no comfort in that because you know tomorrow can bring a whole new onslaught of pimples. Or not - the point is - you don't *feel* like you have what you perceive to be 'normal, healthy skin' (aka clear skin). What people see and how you feel are two COMPLETELY different things. You aren't over-reacting to how you feel. You may be overreacting to what you think they see. Just because you see "disgusting" skin, doesn't mean other people do. This doesn't mean you are overreacting, and that doesn't mean that they are just being polite. It's just your subjective opinion and their objective opinion may not always agree. You don't see what other people see. You don't walk up to someone and pull their face close and examine every pore and redspot and scar and freckle, right? You see their face in totality, for a few seconds at a time, while having a conversation.

 

Also, I find that people are very uncomfortable discussing skin maladies with other people, even people who share that malady! It is so stigmatized that any mention or complaint of the state of one's skin can elicit all kinds of socially ingrained responses to negate the subject.

 

It's human nature - when someone says "Oh my gosh I have this pimple I look disgusting" most people will immediately respond with "Oh, it's not that bad", because that is the nice thing to do. Nothing is solved in that situation, and you are only left wondering if they were "just being polite'.

 

If you wan't a response or some kind of empathy, try saying "I am really worried that my skin isn't healthy because I keep breaking out"!. That's something people can respond to with honesty and understanding without worrying about further hurting your feelings or drawing attention to whatever makes you feel "disgusting". People can respond to a subjective feeling, aka "I feel anxious" because they've probably felt anxious before and they can empathize and provide advice. It's hard for people to comment on an objective statement like "I look disgusting" because there is just no good comforting response to that.

 

 

so what you're saying is, the way im coming about it perhaps isnt the best? like if i want an honest response to really find out if im overreacting or not, i should approach the topic in a more serious sense?

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MemberMember
160
(@megtree)

Posted : 06/22/2015 3:55 pm

 

I have light/mild acne im pretty sure, but i seem to make a big deal out of it according to everyone ive vented to. i think my skin looks disgusting and everyones going to notice and judge, and people say im overreacting or "it barely notices" or "theres nothing there" like im the only one who can see the severeness?

its gotten to the point where i hate taking showers because it makes it feel groggy and i feel disgusting everytime i eat because im convinced everything makes my skin oilier which i can feel.

ive seen two gp's and theyve both said i dont have acne or they havent noticed it.

my problem is i look for acne in everyone i talk to in order to make me feel more normal, so i only worry people do the same to me and see the grossness i see. and i also feel bad because i know people have it worse but i cant help feeling depressed about my skin yknow?

 

are people just being polite? or do they genuinely not see anything and im overreacting?

 

What people see on your skin does not translate to how you feel about what you see on your skin. In other words, you know the location, size, shape, color and lifecycle of every single blemish on your skin, but people only see snapshots of your face in it's entirety. People may see you on a good skin day and say "your skin really isn't that bad" and you find no comfort in that because you know tomorrow can bring a whole new onslaught of pimples. Or not - the point is - you don't *feel* like you have what you perceive to be 'normal, healthy skin' (aka clear skin). What people see and how you feel are two COMPLETELY different things. You aren't over-reacting to how you feel. You may be overreacting to what you think they see. Just because you see "disgusting" skin, doesn't mean other people do. This doesn't mean you are overreacting, and that doesn't mean that they are just being polite. It's just your subjective opinion and their objective opinion may not always agree. You don't see what other people see. You don't walk up to someone and pull their face close and examine every pore and redspot and scar and freckle, right? You see their face in totality, for a few seconds at a time, while having a conversation.

 

Also, I find that people are very uncomfortable discussing skin maladies with other people, even people who share that malady! It is so stigmatized that any mention or complaint of the state of one's skin can elicit all kinds of socially ingrained responses to negate the subject.

 

It's human nature - when someone says "Oh my gosh I have this pimple I look disgusting" most people will immediately respond with "Oh, it's not that bad", because that is the nice thing to do. Nothing is solved in that situation, and you are only left wondering if they were "just being polite'.

 

If you wan't a response or some kind of empathy, try saying "I am really worried that my skin isn't healthy because I keep breaking out"!. That's something people can respond to with honesty and understanding without worrying about further hurting your feelings or drawing attention to whatever makes you feel "disgusting". People can respond to a subjective feeling, aka "I feel anxious" because they've probably felt anxious before and they can empathize and provide advice. It's hard for people to comment on an objective statement like "I look disgusting" because there is just no good comforting response to that.

 

 

so what you're saying is, the way im coming about it perhaps isnt the best? like if i want an honest response to really find out if im overreacting or not, i should approach the topic in a more serious sense?

Well - yes, sort of. I think hoping for someone to tell you honestly whether your skin looks horrible or not is not going to get you anywhere. If 2 different doctors have told you that you don't have acne or it's mild,it probably is mild - but that's not the point. It doesn't really matter what they or I or anyone says, the point is that you are unhappy with your skin. If you want people to engage in an open conversation about how you feel about your skin (not a conversation about whether or not your skin is bad) then saying "I feel anxious about my skin" will open up the conversation to "why do you feel that way?". This gives you the opportunity to vent, talk about what worries you, ask people for their advice, etc.

 

But If you say "Answer me honestly, do you think my skin is bad, or am I overreacting?" Everyone (well, everyone that cares about you) will say "No! and Yes!" and that's the end of that conversation.

 

 

 

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