ok so ever since middle school

I have had acne, but back then it was just a random barely visible pimple every week that was easily covered by a dab of concealer. now I'm a sophomore in high school and my acne is ruining my life.

I only get acne in my T-zone (my cheeks are perfectly clear). but the thing is I hardly get pimples, I just get black heads. they are covering my nose, and my chin and forehead are spotted with them. For some reason I can't stop myself from picking at them, so of course they leave big scabs all over my forehead. I'm lucky that I don't have any scars yet!

I've tried to talk to my parents about getting me some proactive or X-out, but they just pretend to not see the marks so they can avoid spending money. My dad says that picking at my acne is no better than cutting myself! then again, my patents have never been my best support system. in fact I remember crying myself to sleep after her calling me worthless as a child and now.

Maybe they would understand better if they saw the nights when I would look at myself in the mirror and just fall on the ground crying. it's gotten to the point where I don't want to go to school or even wake up in the morning. because what's the point?

I also play soccer for my high school. I have soccer first period everyday, so I go to school on the bus in my uniform and I have to walk to the other side of my school with no makeup on. it's really embarrassing to feel like this because all the other soccer girls and my friends have perfect skin.

many of my friends are supportive of me, and occasionally a cute boy likes me (when my skin is having a good week). but on of my friend continues to make comments like " I'm sure glad I don't have your problem" or "wow that must be really embarrassing" or even "I don't know how you live with yourself."

I thin my acne is causing me to have depression. I tend to not interact with my family, randomly break out crying, feel worthless, and just want to hide out in my room all day.

the bad part is I'm actually a pretty girl under my acne. I'm not a conceited person or anything, but I do wish people would be able to pay attention to my other qualities. the thing is that I really need help, with my acne and with my depression that I've been hiding from my friends and family.

I'm sorry that you are going through this. High School can be a rough place. If your issue is not inflamed acne then you should thank your lucky stars. Many of us on this site are dealing with dozens of inflamed acne and cysts. With that said you can use BHA's to break down clogged pores. If that doesn't help, a retinoid like retin a is stronger. BP won't help with blackheads.

Good Luck