ME
I feel ugly and worthless
From my hair, to my skin, to my weight
I know I am not attractive
But I must hide it.
Act confident.
That is what I tell myself each morning.
Act like someone I want to be
Act like someone I might never be
Why do kids my age have perfect skin?
Perfect Weight?
Perfect lives.
I know nobody is perfect
But sometimes, I feel so bad about myself
Like a twisting in my stomach
Does anyone notice?
Do I let myself slip sometimes?
No one can know
Sometimes I think about telling someone
My parents
My sister
My friends.
But what will they think of me?
Will they laugh?
Will they think I am a freak?
Will they feel bad for me?
I dont want that. Any of it.
I want to be like the other kids.
The perfect ones
Why cant all of my worries just disappear?
As I type this, I feel my stomach twist
I think about myself, my impurities
How all of my friends are perfect
When I see someone with worse problems
I get a feeling
I know it is horrible but,
I feel better about myself.
I remember when I would look in the mirror
When I used to think I could do anything.
Now, I dread going to school
There, people can see me.
Judge me.
Talk about me.
My sister is lucky,
She can cover it up with make up
But what can I do?
Pretend it isnt there?
That is something I wish for
What will I do when someone tells me?
When they say something mean to me to my face
Would I just stand there and stare?
Would I say something?
Would I just break down?
I feel worse about my skin
My Acne
I hate that word
I get mad.
Why would someone put this thing into the world
At first I am talking about acne.
Then I am talking about myself.
I am an ugly creature
What will my kids look like?
Will they suffer what I am going through?
Will they hate me for doing this to them?
I think they will
No one even wants me
The first thing someone thinks when they see me is probably
Ew
I agree with them.
What is wrong with me?
Why cant I just be normal?
I wish I could go somewhere where looks dont matter
I wish I could change lives
But I am stuck in this thing.
What did I do to deserve this?
Wow, you pretty much described me!! Hey, man I know it can be hard I hid in my room practically for half a year dreading to go out, people would say" Oh Ruby, what happened to your skin? IT used to be so clear!! And yeah I remember I used to be why me?? A lot!! Get mad and scream especially since no one in my family had acne and I did, it was probably the most depressing time of my life and now I have the scars to remind me of those days but hey what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger. Sounds cliche?? But, its true!! What is your current regimen for clearing your acne right now??