Week 10
Well folks, i think this is the week that i can honestly say that i see a turn around. My chin has a total of 1 pimple - tiny, not hard, reddish but not inflamed. The rest of my face has tiny flesh colored bumps, mostly on my upper cheekbone area but they are not obvious. My skin feels so soft after washing as well. My forehead is still doing well with a few (maybe 1-2 baby pimples at that). The uneven skin tone is still there as well as some red marks but you know what, i can live with that.
I am a bit surprised that my face has held up as well as it has considering as i have been sick the past 2 weeks with an upper respiratory infection and taking all sort of medicines (antibiotics, steroids, asthma stuff, mucinex, etc, etc, etc). I have had to miss 4 days of work as well (
With that said, i am cautiously optimistic as i know that with retinoids, things can be up one week and down the next. But in any event, this is encouraging as with my previous regimen, at week 10 i was breaking out in massive inflamed bumps. Hoping progress continues and that setbacks are at a minimal.
Thanks to all of you for the continued support!
Approaching week 11......did i mention that i hate acne. So the status of my face is this:
chin has broken out in inflammed bumps out of no where and i am quite surprised about this. Kinda disappointed and annoyed but trying to keep positive. I haven't changed my routine or anything so curious if it is as a result of the predisone and/or antibiotics i took for my URI.....mmm......hoping it goes away and quick.
Week 11
This morning i have 3 inflamed bumps above my upper list (no head). I don't put the atralin there though so...... I definitely think my incoming period/prednisone (steroids) may have something to do with this. I expect these bumps to go down in a few days though - just annoying to have them right by mouth area. Forehead is holding steady -irritation from my threading experience is beginning to ease some and i am just left with redness that may look like acne but it isn't. Lesson learned: beware of threading and waxing on retinoids (plucking is probably your best bet).
My chin is bumpy again (so much for my short lived excitement) and this bumps are red and inflamed (i count 6) My cheeks are also breaking out in red inflamed bumps that leave a reddish tint in its wake making the acne look worse than it actually is.
My texture is Eh
Dryness is back even though the temps are warming up some
On top of all this good news, i feel myself getting sick....again. For a minute i thought i was improving but now, i am not sure......definitely bummed. I've made up mind to give it for months and will schedule my derm appt for then. I am aware that from week to week things can change in either direction so i am not giving up yet. I still have high hoped for Atralin.
In the week leading up to the 3 month mark my observation are as follows:
- This really is a marathon, not a sprint
- Acne topicals are so inconsistent and require more patience than i ever thought possible
- Acne can really mess with your head IF YOU LET IT (as i tend to do)
I purposely did not schedule my derm appointment yet as i am forcing myself to exercise patience (a virtue that i unfortunately lack). I will be seeing her at month 4 to get some feedback.
Right now, as is, i am not happy with my face but i refuse to throw in the towel just yet. Many reviewers have noted continued breakout cycles right up to the 6th month mark so......... Also, i plan on maximizing my summer (its been a really rough year for me with work and personal ish) and i don't want to play around with a new regimen during that time.
Do i think i am on the right track? Honestly, i don't know.
Do i see improvement? Absolutely, albeit very subtle.
Do i think i have found my holy grail? I think its too soon to tell.
Do i stress over my acne too much and allow it to hold me back at times? Absolutely.....and i need to stop doing that!
There is a more confident me somewhere deep down and i need to find her ASAP. I am currently reading a book called The happiness makeover by M.J. Ryan and i am hoping it will help me to discover what will truly make me happy on a deeper level because as great as it would be to be acne free, if my focus wasn't on acne, it would be on something else so....
I have decided to go back to coming on the org only on Saturdays as i have been obsessing a bit and it's not good for me
See you all in week 12......here's to positive thoughts, good vibes and acceptance that what will be will be.
Week 12 (month 3)
Well i am glad to say that i made it! I feel a sense of exhilaration that i did not quit this regimen (though at times i wanted to).
As of now, i still have acne. I am still breaking out.
The Positives:
My forehead is doing AMAZINGLY well and consistently so, so i am eternally grateful for that
The not so positives
I am still breaking out - this week my chin cleared up and is now breaking out again though not as bad (lots of whiteheads that seemed to come from nowhere. Hope they disappear as quickly). Both my cheeks are breaking out in small flesh colored bumps and a few red pimples. I also feel quite a few large, hard underground bumps that may or may not surface. My mouth area on the left hand side has a few obviously inflamed bumps that seem so red. Also, it seems that when i do get these red bumps, the marks last and last and last........ There are also a few undergrounders on both cheeks. The texture on my cheeks and chin have reverted back to shit so........
As difficult as it may be, I am going to relax this next month and let this regimen do its thing - at this point how well it works is out of my control. My motto will be:
And This Too Shall Pass
Anyone else wants to share their experience with tretinoin?
Cried at the gym today with my trainer.....i am sooooo exhausted with everything. Acne is just one thing that adds to my state of mind. Gonna have to make some changes to my life. Depression is really a killer (and i've been battling that longer than i have acne so.....). I've been slacking on exercising when i'm on my own (especially when my mood is down) but i'll be starting that up again on Tuesday - can't keep making excuses!
Hey, depression is a bitch, you are very resiliant to keep on making all this effort with exersize and looking after your skin while feeling the demotivational down-sucking that is depression. Well done for the continued effort and try not to beat yourself up. I tend to treat the misbehaving part of my mind like an upset child. I try not to scold, ignore or give in to it... simply and compassionately I take its hand and calmly go back to the place you want it to go....
this could be the gym, bed, getting on with certain tasks, applying acne cream or reading or whatever beneficial activity you think it suitable for your mind at the time....
but thats just me.. i learned this attitude from a mixture of buddist mindfulness and supernanny.
Buddists call the hectic mind the "monkey mind" which is a phrase i like as I have a mental image of a mischevious monkey-child that i need to take by the hand and gently walk back to the "centre" ... wherever i have decided that is...
i hope that makes sense :S
anyway I hope you find your way xxx
from a fellow manager of both these conditions I send a hug and look forward to the endorphin high from the gym xx you will have earned it
Hey, depression is a bitch, you are very resiliant to keep on making all this effort with exersize and looking after your skin while feeling the demotivational down-sucking that is depression. Well done for the continued effort and try not to beat yourself up. I tend to treat the misbehaving part of my mind like an upset child. I try not to scold, ignore or give in to it... simply and compassionately I take its hand and calmly go back to the place you want it to go....
this could be the gym, bed, getting on with certain tasks, applying acne cream or reading or whatever beneficial activity you think it suitable for your mind at the time....
but thats just me.. i learned this attitude from a mixture of buddist mindfulness and supernanny.
Buddists call the hectic mind the "monkey mind" which is a phrase i like as I have a mental image of a mischevious monkey-child that i need to take by the hand and gently walk back to the "centre" ... wherever i have decided that is...
i hope that makes sense :S
anyway I hope you find your way xxx
from a fellow manager of both these conditions I send a hug and look forward to the endorphin high from the gym xx you will have earned it
Crystal, thank you so much for your input. I love the idea of thinking of my mind as a misbehaving child - i'll try that! You are sweet with the positivity and i appreciate it. i am trying harder to regulate the thoughts that i tell myself (trying to bring myself up versus pulling myself down). This week has actually been off to a decent start and i have been ACTIVELY setting daily goals for myself not relating to my acne. I am also forcing myself to go places and do things even though i may be embarrassed about my acne at times. In realizing that i don't have a time line for when my struggles with acne will come to an end - i can't put my life on hold. I guess what i'm saying is that i have to suck up the uncomfortableness that i feel and keep things moving. Easier said than done but i'm gonna give it my all.
Week 13
Emotionally, i am definitely in a better place than i was last week so i am grateful for that. I have implemented 3 things into my routine:
1- not looking in mirrors: never thought i could stick to this one but i have. It helps take my mind off of it so that i can continue with my day. I am now 'feeling' progress and judging my acne but how it feels with my hands when i wash my face. This especially helps when my face is not so great - i am NOT fixating.
2- writing daily goals for myself. I have little index cards and everyday i write small, doable goals for myself (ex: find 2 positives in my day). Whenever i feel myself getting stressed, i read my goals. It has been a tremendous help!
3-exercise, exercise, exercise. i kept to my goal and worked out 5 days this week (3 days weight training, 1 day yoga and 1 day cardio). I feel so much better after i sweat it out.
Needless to say, this is a process and i am 110% dedicated to following it through.
As for my acne, i have several inflamed (some painful) bumps on my chin/around my mouth area. I also have a few small bumps under my lips and another by my left hairline (went to salon yesterday and they used intense heat on my hair). My skin feels smoother.
As a side note, i will no longer be taking pictures on a weekly basis as that is usually the catalyst for me to start fixating on my face, getting bummed, pulling into myself, yada yada yada. At the 4 months mark i will probably add new photos.
So in summary:
Positives:
- small bumps are disappearing again
- forehead is clear.....YAY
- bumps on cheeks have gone down
Negatives:
- still breaking out
- chin area still problematic - breaking out in same areas repeatedly
- Skin is oily
Here is to a positive start to week 14
BTW: looking into something called Nutrition Response Testing. Anyone ever heard of it? It's where they test you in a non invasive way to see what parts of your body are deficient and then create a program for you using supplements. I am highly skeptical about this ( rolls eyes) but since i have blindly followed advice from people in the holistic/nutrition section to a naturopath, i'm like, what the hell.........what do i have to lose. I'll let you know if i decide to do this.
I broke out in reddish under the skin bumps on both my chin and right mouth/cheek area. Not sure what that is all about?!?!? My diet has been steady and my stress level has been better and my period is over 2 weeks away. For those people that think that getting rid of acne is as simple as switching up diet, exercising, etc.....well you can kiss my sweet @$$. The truth of the matter is that NO ONE knows what causes someone else's acne 100% of the time. Who knows, maybe i'm genetically disposed to have acne into middle age DESPITE lifestyle and topical changes. I'm just soooo frustrated and not to mention, slowly going broke trying to find MY solution. Next step is Nutrition Response Testing. That way i can get a hopefully clear view on supplements that MY body needs to be healthy in general so that i am not needlessly spending my money on $#!T that does not work. Also debating whether to keep Atralin through the summer or ask for something else. As while it has been AMAZING clearing forehead and mostly cheeks, my mouth and chin area are a never ending mess!
So frustrated, so tired, so over this.......
Feeling so low now. I am experience a series of rash like bumps on the side of my nose and several mega inflamed bumps on my mouth/chin area. I was out in the sun for a few hours and i wore sunscreen but my face hurts sooooo bad. I am calling my derm on Monday and going in for an appt - i cannot wait till 4mths. I honestly don't know where to go from here. If this is how it will be on retinoids in the summer, well, i'd rather not be on them to tell you the truth. Considering maybe leaving my face alone for a while and once or twice, going back on a low dose of accutane.
Any advice would be appreciated.
This current and continuous breakout has hands down been the WORST that i've had since treatment - From Friday to Sunday i have probably developed almost 10 inflamed pimples on my chin/mouth area. A few have developed heads which i refuse to pick so off to work with them. Sigh........this definitely feels like an initial outbreak if i ever heard of one. I will be calling my derm this week and setting up on appt soon. The aczone is definitely not helping with inflammation...
Never seemed to have much luck with retinoids. This would be my third try. I refuse to try Tazorac and my skin is sensitive to BP so Epiduo is out. Not sure where to go from here.
This has been a BAD skin week for me. The jawline acne has really been bothering me as i almost never break out there. I can't pin point the worsening of my acne to any one thing.
My observations are:
Food doesn't seem to trigger my acne ( as i have been clear AND broken out eaten the same foods i have)
Exercise doesn't seem to trigger my acne (i have been clear and broken out with cardio AND weight training)
supplements don't seem to trigger my acne (i have been on everything for at least a couple of months and have been clear and broken out.
Feeling out of options.
In regards to topical - i refuse to do Taz as i believe it is too strong for me. The only other option i see is Epiduo as retin a .01% comes only in a cream version and the cream has a known breakout ingredient. Not a fan of BP at all as i had a really bad experience with proactive making my ance worse and differin didn't help me but after these past 6 months on 2 different topicals and very inconsistent results, i am willing to give it one more try. Very disappointed with retin a at this point.
In other news, i go for this nutritional response testing thing tomorrow so i'm very interesting to see what it is all about. Very skeptical but we'll see. I have nothing to lose - right. I definitely believe that since my acne has been very resistant to topicals (hence my multiple courses of accutane) it could be a hormonal imbalance. Will update with that.
Hi Sasch,
I know acne can be very frustrating!
I have been on tretinoin.05 for 12 weeks or so and my skin has improved but still breakouts pretty regular so i feel your pain.
Have you looked into azelaic acid? My doctor mentioned it to me . It may be called
Finacea in America.
Wish you all the best with you
nutritional response testing, i hope it helps.
Hi Sasch,
I know acne can be very frustrating!
I have been on tretinoin.05 for 12 weeks or so and my skin has improved but still breakouts pretty regular so i feel your pain.
Have you looked into azelaic acid? My doctor mentioned it to me . It may be called
Finacea in America.
Wish you all the best with you
nutritional response testing, i hope it helps.
Faded Jay, thanks for the input. I previously used finacea as part of a combination regimen and it caused me extreme redness and itching (i also believe that i have an allergy to wheat which is in finacea). I still have a huge tube sitting in my medicine cabinet so.....
I am 2 weeks ahead of you and even though i have seen improvement (forehead), i am breaking out everyday (rate has NOT slowed down) and in the same areas over and over (and i don't pick). I have also recently started getting jawline acne (some cysts and they hurt). I believe that if Atralin was going to work for me, it would have worked a bit better as my acne is in no ways severe.
Good luck with your regimen - keep me posted
So i just got back from my nutritional response testing session and it was one of the strangest things that i have EVER done. They put some gel on a belt type thing that they tie around your stomach. You lay down and when you hear a beep, you stand up. A computer is monitoring something (not sure what). After that i was put on my back, my left hand held at a 90 degree angle while the 'dr' pushed it down while i resisted. She put different bottles and boxes on my stomach as she did this. In any event, i was like WTF happpened!?!
I go back for the analysis and program advice next week. The whole testing method seems unscientific to me but the whole idea of healing through whole foods is great. We'll see if i notice a difference. Not getting my hopes up at all. Seeing my original derm tomorrow to discuss my next step if topicals don't work. Next week i also have a follow up with my current derm in regards to my program.....definitely think i need to change - Almost 4 months in and no consistent improvement in chin acne (my main problem area).
Thinking that Epiduo is the last bet as i have tried everything else (except for tazorac which is too strong).
It seems that as the weeks go by, i am posting more frequently.....sigh. So i went back to my old derm (i really liked her and she was the one that previously prescribed me accutane) to see if she could give me feedback on my skin. She basically told me that i was out of options in regards to topicals on the market. When i say my heart dropped i mean it. To be told that my acne would just have to go away on its own made me so sad. She told me she had acne till she was 38 and then it just stopped. I refuse to believe i will have to live with this condition longer than i have to. She also suggested birth control (an idea that i shut down IMMEDIATELY). What's left to try guys?
She gave me samples for retin a micro which has so so reviews (.1%).
Two things i haven't tried are Epiduo and The Regimen
Some words of encouragement would be nice at this time as i feel as if my back is against the wall
Face looks horrible today. Red, inflamed and sometimes painful lumps on my chin, mouth AND jaw. Don't know what to do. Derm gave me a moisturizer to try last night and i did (last night and this morning) come to find out it has at least 2 ingredients that are 4 on the comodogenic scale - despite advertising as non comodogenic. The more i read reviews for products such as epiduo, tazorac, the less i want to try them. I mean, if retin a didn't help me, why would anything else.
Hi Sasch,
I know its difficult to keep faith when nothing seems to be working, i think a lot of people have been there.
When it comes to reviews I look too far too into them and either get my hopes up or get scared away from using it. Sometimes i find its best not to look at reviews too much and try it in a small area, sometimes not even on my face.
Most moisturisers break me out and i have dry skin so in the end i just don't bother when them at all to be honest.
In terms of topical stuff you have epiduo and taz still to try maybe - you could start of really slow and only spot treat etc. Other options maybe to use a different cleanser or a sulphur based soap or you could try a toner like apple cider vinegar.
I believe that there is a cure for everyone's acne but its on an individual basis.What works for some does nothing for others.
Its a real slog trying to find something to help get rid of acne but it can only make us stronger.
Hi Sasch,
I know its difficult to keep faith when nothing seems to be working, i think a lot of people have been there.
When it comes to reviews I look too far too into them and either get my hopes up or get scared away from using it. Sometimes i find its best not to look at reviews too much and try it in a small area, sometimes not even on my face.
Most moisturisers break me out and i have dry skin so in the end i just don't bother when them at all to be honest.
In terms of topical stuff you have epiduo and taz still to try maybe - you could start of really slow and only spot treat etc. Other options maybe to use a different cleanser or a sulphur based soap or you could try a toner like apple cider vinegar.
I believe that there is a cure for everyone's acne but its on an individual basis.What works for some does nothing for others.
Its a real slog trying to find something to help get rid of acne but it can only make us stronger.
Fadedjay, thank you for the kind words! i am definitely dicouraged and feel as if retin a is a wrap for me. i have now begun to get cystic acne as well as several inflamed bumps on my jaw, chin and mouth. I am truly embarrassed! I refuse to go stronger so that leaves epiduo. i am not looking forward to starting another regimen but i don't know what else to do. I will as of tomorrow put asided the aczone and try klaron lotion (sodium) to see if it helps with the bacteria.
Definitely need to wake up from this nightmare.
Feeling ok today - acne still sucks but no more mirror time for me today. I tried the Sodium Sulfacetamide lotion and it is drying - i mean my face is already dry from (atralin) but it was just an observation that i made. I slapped some moisturizer over it so we'll see what happens. When i tried this list summer by itself it wasn't helpful (as far as i recall) but maybe this time will be different. I think Aczone has really done nothing more for me as my bumps are still inflamed, painful (at times) and seems to be in clusters. I will not be using the lotion on my forehead as i am already clear there so we'll see how that works out........
Curious to know what the next step for my current derm will be......she seems so nonchalant about the whole thing (Gosh, i hate the God Complex with doctors).
BTW, i seemed to have misplaced my last tube of ATRALIN so i will be without for the next 4 days (i see my derm on Wed). In its place, i am using sodium sulfacetamide. Hoping things don't worsen.
Several inflamed bumps have popped up today - may or may not have been due to not using the Atralin but who knows - not much i can do about that till Wednesday anyway.
Feeling over it. Actively researching natural skin care as these topicals have been a let down time and time again. Next and last step i believe will be Epiduo. If that doesn't work, then i'll give it up.
Been a while since I looked at some logs, thought I'd check in.
Was just reading about the experience with the nutritional response testing. Sounds... interesting.
I never placed much significance on my diet because my acne was just always there and for the longest time I couldn't see a pattern. I think it was initially just your average teenage hormonal acne and it kind of changed as time went on. The key thing now seems to have been to cut out inflammatory foods. I avoid processed foods and overly spicy foods - those two relatively minor changes alone seem to have helped a lot. It's like it's more about small things as opposed to wholesale changes, guess it's just a case of having the patience until you happen to stumble upon the piece of knowledge that tells you what to change. Same goes for regimens too, in that it's not always easy to tell if what you're doing is the best course of action.
I can understand the frustration at hearing from your derm that you might not be able to do a lot, but you can definitely maintain things and see if they improve further as you go. I had the same response from my doctor and he basically told me I'd just have to stay on antibiotics and accept whatever results they gave. I thought that was crazy - couldn't see the point in staying on medication for years at a time and still not being happy, when there was probably a better solution which would be healthier and give greater results. Funny thing is that it was my anger at his seemingly stupid diagnosis which made me want to prove him wrong. In the end I felt like I was clearing my acne, not for me, but so I could prove him wrong. Maybe I'll have to come good on that and pay him a visit some time..."Hey doc, look what I did without your stupid antibiotics!"
For what it's worth though, your skin looks pretty good in your latest gallery pictures. Honestly, there are certainly a lot of positives there!
Been a while since I looked at some logs, thought I'd check in.
Was just reading about the experience with the nutritional response testing. Sounds... interesting.
I never placed much significance on my diet because my acne was just always there and for the longest time I couldn't see a pattern. I think it was initially just your average teenage hormonal acne and it kind of changed as time went on. The key thing now seems to have been to cut out inflammatory foods. I avoid processed foods and overly spicy foods - those two relatively minor changes alone seem to have helped a lot. It's like it's more about small things as opposed to wholesale changes, guess it's just a case of having the patience until you happen to stumble upon the piece of knowledge that tells you what to change. Same goes for regimens too, in that it's not always easy to tell if what you're doing is the best course of action.
I can understand the frustration at hearing from your derm that you might not be able to do a lot, but you can definitely maintain things and see if they improve further as you go. I had the same response from my doctor and he basically told me I'd just have to stay on antibiotics and accept whatever results they gave. I thought that was crazy - couldn't see the point in staying on medication for years at a time and still not being happy, when there was probably a better solution which would be healthier and give greater results. Funny thing is that it was my anger at his seemingly stupid diagnosis which made me want to prove him wrong. In the end I felt like I was clearing my acne, not for me, but so I could prove him wrong. Maybe I'll have to come good on that and pay him a visit some time..."Hey doc, look what I did without your stupid antibiotics!"
For what it's worth though, your skin looks pretty good in your latest gallery pictures. Honestly, there are certainly a lot of positives there!
Thanks for the kind words Paul. Unfortunately my acne has worsened since those pictures (i am quite embarassed to post new ones). i just feel as if i am doing everything right, especially with diet and exercise and i still have not seen improvement in my skin.....sigh. I was hoping by now that my body would be regulated so that at least i would be breaking out less often due to my dietary changes but it was not to be. Still sticking with my diet though as my digestion has improved 100% so i am happy about that. The nutritional response testing is an interesting concept, especially because it treats you by using whole foods versus synthetic supplements. It doesn't even interfere with other medications! I would be lying if i said i wasn't skeptical because i thought that the best way to help your body was to eat ACTUAL foods and i have been doing that.
In any event, i suspect i may be dealing with this condition for a loooooooooong time so i need to find a way to live my life with acne.