Hey Peeps, hope you are all good? Well, today is my day 90 on Accutane and I am quite happy. I have a small blackhead and a small whitehead on the left side on my cheek, not noticeable unless you look really close. Otherwise, I am clear. I have got one pimple last week, which I popped and it left a dark mark. And, I had one zit ages ago which is really dark and is clearing up really slowly each day.
I can recall a blogger telling me that Accutane will cure me but the hard part would be to regain my confidence. At that moment, I did not understand what he/she meant. But this week, people started asking me why I am wearing heavy makeup and I was very depressed. So, weekend time, I sat on the bed trying to figure out how I am going to survive on this planet with my face. Looking back at my old pictures, I realised that my skin has gone through a lot. Constant inflammation, pain, pus filled zits, poking and treatment with all types of topicals. I realised that my face is not that bad anymore. Sure I have a lot of dark marks, sure they are taking ages to fade. But I do not have huge angry pimples now. So, do I need to mask my whole face with heavy foundation???
The next morning I woke up, took my shower, moisturised my face, wore a BB cream with SPF 30, applied my concealer with SPF 15 and a little bit of powder. NO HEAVY FOUNDATION. I looked at my face. It looked presentable. Some marks were still peeping through but I did not feel insecure. I went out, afraid that my make-up was too light though. But, I have been able to get through my errands. It was then I realised that my blogger friend was right about the confidence thing. Even if my skin is improving, am afraid to talk to people and go out without heavy makeup. I am afraid because I have been in such situation for almost a year and a half now. So, I dunno if I will have to work on this.
Well, that was a long story and I dunno how many can relate to my feelings. But, I am really looking forward to month 4 and I hope that by the end of this month, my dark marks which are my biggest insecurity right now will have faded slightly so I can wear even less makeup. Will update you Peeps for sure. Until then, take care!!!
So, here I am again. On the 1st day of my fourth month and I am feeling crap today. Remember, yesterday I mentioned about a small blackhead and whitehead on my left side. So, I picked them from all possible angles and today, am left with a huge hideous, red, raw mark on my cheek, absolutely difficult to cover up!!!!! Can anyone please tell me if this mark will grow dark and linger on my face for ages???
Many thanks.
Hello readers. I doubt there might be anyone reading my post though.
Well, I am depressed today. Though it is my 95 day on accutane. I get no more breakouts, I am dry. My lips are chapped. The horror I did to my face last week is still here. I had popped a small tiny blackhead and I ended up with a huge dark scar. Hideous!!!! My other scars are fading gradually. Some have been here for over 6 months now and they are still conspicuous though the colour is fading really very slowly. And I have a lot of such scars. I am tired!!!!! I do not have anything more to add.