Hey guys!

I've been looking in the forum whether someone has already asked the same question, but I haven't found anything... So, here's my story.

I'm 22 years old and I have suffered from mild (I would say normal) acne from when I was 13 till I was 17. Then I had a boyfriend, so I started taking the pill and since my skin wasn't perfect, my gynecologist prescribed Diane 35. I didn't think about it or read about side effects when going off it, I took it and I loved it. I had no negative side effects, I didn't bother about thrombosis or whatever because I just didn't know anything about it.

When I was 19 years old I stopped taking it because I didn't need it anymore and then the horror story started: About 2 to 3 months after going off it, I started getting REALLY BAD ACNE on my cheeks, on my forehead and my back. During puberty I never had such severe acne EVER! I was extremely depressive at that time, lost all my self concience ... I hated myself! After some research I found out that starting with Diane 35 again might help cure my acne - so I started taking it again (I just wanted to look like a normal person again!! I didn't care if it's unhealthy to take the pill, I jsut wanted the cysts and the pimples to go away!). And after 3 weeks my skin cleared up and everything (except some scars) was back to normal.

Now at the age of 22 I just want to get off Diane 35!! I want my body to be in balance, I want to finally get to know my body, my cycle, everything that the pill destroyed... also I don't want to keep living with the constant fear of getting thrombosis. I am very healthy, I exercise regularly, I don't smoke, I'm not overweight, I am generally very happy with my life, my family, my friends -> there is no reason BUT HORMONES for my acne.

Now my idea: I don't want to stop taking the pill and wait for my acne to come back since first I don't want to look like a monster and secondly I don't want to risk getting more scars! So I would like to stop taking Diane 35 and start taking accutane right away. However, there are some concerns I have: Going off the pill is an extreme change for the body and Accutane alone is too ... so the combination must be EXTREME! For my mental health, my physical health and last but not least MY SKIN! The first time I stopped taking Birth control, I had extreme hairloss and I heard that one side effect of accutane is hairloss -> I don't want to lose all my hair!

I am so extremely scared of the future just because of this stupid hormone/acne stuff! I get so nervous and worried thinking about it... I know I will have to do it at some point but I'm jsut too scared to do it.

Also - does anyone have experience with WHEN the best time is to start accutane and to stop taking the pill? should i start and stop the same day? Take the pill 1 month into accutane and then stop, should I first stop taking the pill and then start taking accutane after some time?

I am so confused and I feel that no dermatologist knows enough about this topic to actually give me useful and trustworthy advice...

So if anyone of you has dealt with this or something similar, or knows something about my problem -> please help me! I don't know what to do anymore and my family and friends (since they have NEVER HAD ACNE) don't understand my worries and fear!

Thank you very much,

mhgm