So, 2.5 years ago, I started my course of Accutane. I thought "hells yeah" this is going to be the end of all my acne troubles. It wasn't...

I have moderate acne, which are often cysts that leave terrible scarring, as I have very pale skin.

Anyway, after about 2 weeks of being on Accutane, I started to have some palpitations which lasted for a little while, enough to worry me. I have a minor heart condition, but have been told by my cardiologist that it is benign and non-life threatening. I remember feeling incredibly anxious when taking Accutane, and having anxiety attacks and so on. I was having really hard, punching heart beats that hurt my chest.

I was on, I believe, a low dose at the time. I think it was 20mg but it may have been 40mg [i should have noted it down]. I stopped taking the meds and the anxiety diminished, as did the palpitations. I get palpitations often anyway, during my period cycle, from the heart condition, but they are not scary or severe.

So - it's been 2.5 years now since that all happened. I started using Retinol cream on my face, which cleared up my acne really well! I was confident enough to go in public with no makeup or anything.

Recently, though, my acne has come back pretty bad. I know for sure that certain foods break me out badly. Bread, dairy, nuts, soy. I have, over the past few months, been less diligent with avoiding breads and so on, because I started studying and have had less time to cook / prepare meals. My face today is a mess, and I don't want to go outside.

I'm sitting here contemplating whether I should attempt Accutane again. I don't want to hurt my body for the sake of vanity, but this acne is really ruining my life. I can't socialise properly, I feel worthless, my self esteem is 0%, I keep avoiding entering relationships because of how cruddy I feel about myself. I want to look in the mirror for once and smile.

I've decided to give myself until Christmas, and to avoid bread (gluten), wheat, dairy, soy and nuts until then. If I see a significant improvement in my skin, then I will put off Accutane. But, if I see no difference...then...do you think it would be worth trying Accutane again, at a low dose?

Thanks so much for reading!