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Sooo I suppose I should start off by saying....
I'm getting MARRIED! Yes, this year. June 7th =) I am beyond excited to marry the love of my life who I should start off by thanking for being so supportive thru my acne journey.
I'm a 25 year old female. I didn't really have much acne when I was in high school. It started when I was about 20 which was right when I met my fiance. It wasn't terrible at first. It wasn't until I was about 22 that it got awful. I had tried a couple pills for the dermatologist and they kept my acne at bay for a while. It got bad again and I tried a different dermatologist who wanted to try a new method. When I would go in he would have me lay down and pop all my zits with a little tool. It was so painful. Some weren't ready to pop but he would force the infection out. Every time I went I left in tears and bandages on my face. He would also inject the really bad ones with some medication. After about 3 months, going once a week, of this he wanted to try a laser treatment on me. After lots of $$ I quit going. The pain was far more than the results which I wasn't seeing much of. It was the worst experience of my life. I wasn't on anything prescription wise for a year. It was bad still so I got on some creams from my old derm, epiduo was the last one. I wasn't pleased w the results still and I had just moved and was jobless. My fiance owns his own business so he said I could spend my time planning our wedding before finding a job. Your wedding day is supposed to be happy and all I could think about was how bad my break out would be. I didn't want it to take over my happiness. So without health insurance, I am on accutane, illegally obtained. I did many many many hours of research on where and how to get accutane without a prescription. I finally settled on a website, took a leap of faith and prayed so hard to get the real stuff. I understood that I might not but at that point I was willing to take the chance.
I am currently taking 20mg twice a day. It is day 16 into treatment and I got the real stuff-sigh of relief. My lips are so dry. Chapstick is rubber banded to my phone so I always have some on me! My skin is super flakey. I get headaches at night. My forearms, just today, are red and dry and blotchy. I put lotion on them and it burned. The first 2 weeks were harsh. I have one cyst on my jaw line and on my cheek. Normally I'd have 4-5. I had severe cystic acne only on my lower face. Never get break outs on my forehead(knocking on wood).
After my wedding I am returning to school in our new area to finish my degree and get a job in the real world and it's so hard to do that with acne. I hope people can look at me and see me, not my acne. I'm ready to be an adult (married adult)! I don't want to look like this anymore and I hope the 'tane will be my solution. If not forever, at least for my wedding. But I couldn't do this without the support of my fiance. He loves me no matter what and I'm so thankful for that! =)
Will update weekly, not daily, since not much changes day to day.
It's been over a week since my first post, and this weekend I went wedding dress hunting. It was awful. Mostly because I am not your typical bride so everything I tried on just wasn't me. But also because I had acne on my back and it was embarrassing. It's a little discouraging because that's the last thing I want to feel on my wedding day. I'm crossing my fingers and praying w all my might that this starts to turn around soon!
As far as my skin goes since last week, there has been some pretty interesting changes. I guess first of all I started getting these dry red patches on the backs of my hands. It looks worse than what it is. They've been there for about 4 days now. They fade and come back bright red. And I still have those red patches on my forearms too but they don't bother me.
I don't wear makeup very often since I'm not working, mostly to give my skin the best possible chance to make its transformation, but when I do lately, at the end of the day when I wash it off, it is extremely hard to get off! Is this because my skin has no oil in it anymore so my makeup sticks to it a lot better? It's very strange and annoying.
I have blackheads on my nose (who doesn't?!) but it's always been smooth, not bumpy. One morning last week when I woke up my nose was bumpy like my blackheads were trying to escape! When I went to the mirror they were sticking out and I squeezed very lightly and practically wiped them all off!
My face this past week went nuts and I got a terrible break out. It's such a tease because the week before it wasn't bad at all. I felt like screaming every morning when I woke up and my face wasn't magically cleared up! Uggghhhh. So frustrating. My skin is still super dry. It will start to flake really bad and you can see it thru my make up and that's pretty gross. Lol.
One more very strange thing that has come about, and I don't know if this is common or not because I have never read it on accurate forums, but nothing tastes good. I go to eat things like normal because I like them and half way thru I just don't enjoy it and they become almost disgusting. Which I guess is alright because I'm trying to shed a few pounds for the wedding =)
Will update again in another week unless something insane happens!