@kernel: Thanks girl! blackheads=bllleeeecccckkk!
DAY 20
Blister pack dance! 
Lets Dance! 
Pack #2 down! one more to go this month yeay!
So tonight, im gonna do something different:
Ill post pictures so you can see for yourselves how my skin is going. got 2 new zits, one on my back, one on my cheek, and LILITH is still going strong, looks like she's gonna ooozze any dy now!
On to other matter:
Last weekend, inspired by some of your all's posts, i decided to buy 2lbs of unrefined SHEA BUTTER. Why 2lbs???? I dunno, amazon conned me into a 2-fer deal 
, and i somehow ended up with a solid block of SHEA butter the size of A SMALL BABY!!! WTF was i thinking? 
I guess i thought that my skin was going to be extreemly dry, and that i didnt want to ever be without? 
SO i got this package, and i opened it up, and it was literally a lump of crumbly fat, yellow, and unrefined. my roomates were real curious as to what i was doin with it!
I decided to make a little experiment, and i have never made my own cosmetics or anything. I thought i'd try and break down the block and stuff it into smaller glass containers. But that proved really messy and i thought it would oxodize much quicker that way. So i decided to melt it and then pour it into the containers. (see pics below of process)
I used a double boiler method with my ghetto kitchen utensils. and i was SUCCESSFUL!!!!. 
Now ive got 2 containers of about 2cups each of pure shea butter. In one i put some essential fragrance, and the other i left plain. I even got creative and tried to make a small, travel size bar for work but its messy. ANd i have about 2 cups left over!!!
Ha Ha and guess what? at the market today, I saw about 2oz of the same stuff going for 22 bucks! and mine is pure, and simple, and inexpensive. APPLAUSE, APPLAUSE.
DAY 21
Claravis 20mg
Fishoil 1g
calcium+D
B complex
Glucosamine and Chondroitin
SKIN
Woke up this morning, after SMOTHERING my face in SB (shea butter) and to my amazement.......My skin was PERFECTLY toned. It was soooo soft and smooth. And ANd And ANd all the REDNESS was gone! Remember i said i had like eczema patches on my cheeks? They are gone! and the only redness is around the active Motha-Truckas. Wow. Ok now, im so glad i bought 2lbs of this stuff. Tonight i smothered my WHOLE BODY in SB. HA HA kinda like im greased up with crisco or something, and im all sticky and oily. I think i went a little overboard, NO?
No new actives LILITH spewed forth her guts during my shower. I refrained to pick. Got a new one... i dunno, if its a giant 3-headed white head? or a new cyst? on my cheek. I hope the TANE keeps it from surfacing. DOWN PERISCOPE! Black heads look blackheady and pores on nose, forehead and chin are still large, and dark. Some smaller blackheads have already fallen off. I hope this continues. Back zit calmed way down, been wiping my back every morning with TTO and water cotton pad. Seems to be working.
An EMO Moment
was feelin crappy/weird/anti-social this weekend. so i stayed by myself and slept and went to the gym. needless to say i am now behind in my homework, and am super-stressed about not being able to catch up (this is a constant irrational fear of mine). My monthly buddy is rearing her ugly head in a few days, so i contribute my nesting and antisocial feelings towards her.
On a personal note. Last year around this time, my divorce/separation was finalized. The week that i signed, my grandma (whom i adored) died. about 10 years ago my cousin also died in March. March is a cRAppY month. F%#@ you March! why dont you March right outta here? This year, i am feeling so happy, and glad i am going to school, not depressed at all. But today, i feel sad.
I took a walk outside cause its been very difficult for me to concentrate on my schoolwork. Here are some pics of me in the beautiful SUNSHINE.
@Hope Thanks! good luck with your course. Remember that the IB is temporary, and pretty soon your skin will be so clear and beautiful 
DAY 22
Hey guys, dont got much time tonight its going to be a stressful week.
SOmething horrifying and absolutly revolting happened to me today.
SO here I was reading feverously trying my best to study. And all of a sudden, no freaking joke, A GIANT BLACKHEAD fell off my forehead and onto my BOOK. EWWWWWWWW ! @ ^$%#%*$ GROSS GROSS GROSS!!!!! 
It was so big, it had its own SHADOW. It even made a little sound when it dropped, thats how i saw it! and YES, It's a blackhead with mass. It was so surreal, I TOOK A PICTURE of it!
Thought i'd share the pic with y'all.
DAY 24
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
ACNE
Same ole same ole. Zits not leaving my faaaaaacccccceeeeee. 
Blackhead Forrest still growing. My monthly friend wrecked havoc on my face. and they are not drying up.
Had blood draw. So you know when you are in the grocery store....and you come to the check out, and the clerk says "oh, i see you are having a party?" and you aren't, and all the food is for you? UGH i hate that. The phlebotomist was like "so you're on accutane?" UGH. Do you really need to state the obvious? told me that Accutane is a "miracle drug". okey dokey.
EMO
STRESSED!!!!!!
Hahaha well I actually find comfort in the fact that the blackheads actually come out!!! I was starting to get the impression that they were just going to hover under the surface looking like they're ready to pounce forever. My monthly friend is coming to town soon as well... I'm waiting to see what it has in store for me.
Hang in there!! We're gunna get through this and it's going to be beautiful 
DAY 27
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
@fashionjk I know, right? like, eeeewwwwwwww
@hope hang in there sista, monthly friend aint so friendly! i know, those blackheads look really weird to me too.
ACNE-SCHMACKNE
Well good news, my face is finally looking better. My monthly friend came in like a lion, and went out like a lamb. 
Much like my faaaav month, MARCH. 
PMS brought it on, with 3 large multi headed pimples, and inflamation throughout cheeks. I just kept taking the accutane, and applying SB at night. And then in a matter of 5 days, it all cleared up! I think that this break out may have been a regular period related breakout, and not the dreaded IB.
BUMPS-SCHMUMPS
Now i still have small, raised red bumps where the cysts were, but they are not inflamed, not "angry", the right side of my face has just about all cleared up. Havent had a zit there for like 2 weeks. The left side looks like a WARZONE. the large cyst on my back cleared up.
SOmething ive noted though is that i have developed many very small non-inflamed whiteheads around my mouth, on my cheeks, and chin. And some smallish red bumps on my forehead and chin. But they never surface. Ive noticed they come and go.
PORES-SCHMORES
Nose and chin pores were an oil slick, and pores are large, and dark. I got several blackheads with a few pore strips. but they are stubbornly sticking in my pores! and they are so dark! people are right, my nose feels like sandpaper. and my forehead hasent even dried out yet, so the blackheads are looking like little pools of oil. Hey world oil problem solved, just scrape some off my forehead, and we can power every car in america. I call it "ACNEFUEL" none of you biters out there steal my idea you hear? im takin this one to the bank bay-bee!
EMO-SCH-NWEL-crapola-snapnola
Flew down to see my derm this Monday. Spending some time with family and friends. cant say its been a vacation. I feel super stressed because of the 2 exams i have waitin for me when i come back. Although, i did take a nice P-Day last week, and played hookey from school. THat respite was recouped with a super-stressful day at the new hospital for clinical rotation. had to learn a whole new computerized charting system, whereas im used to paper. and like all this b.s. "code-salmon" "code-light-green" "code-polka-dot" garbage! the only important one is like code blue, and any idiot watching greys anatomy, or ER knows what that one means! Any how i digress, so on top of learning all this new stuff for the new hospital, the first day, i get the BLITZKRIEG of post op. let me put it this way, it wasnt pretty. I actually CRIED from the stress. Luckily, my professor swooped in and saved me. I love her. She is so great. But i was embarrased non the less. and that afternoon, i had to drive 2hrs to the airport, get on a plane, and fly to LA, sit in traffic, drive an hour back home, and then STUDY for a PSYCH exam. F^^&*^%(&^(*&*&^&(%* Im a freaking PSYCH exam material right about now!
DAY 29
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
@Kernel HAHA thought, you'd appreciate the BH story 
im laughing now also
WARNING RANT 
Here is what my day looked like:
Woke up, went to dermo appointment, Got the same dose, guys.....only 20mg!
OK so you know, like how when your car makes a funny noise......and then as soon as you take it in to the mechanic......IT STOPS, and the mechanic stares at you like "there's nothing wrong with your car miss." and then you pay 300 bucks to have him run diagnostic tests, but your car doesn't make a peep, and then, AS SOON AS YOU DRIVE OFF after paying 500 bucks, and told your car is "FINE" it MAKES THAT DAMN PEEP again?
Well, today, was just like the above scenario. MY SKIN looked FABULOUS 
for like the duration of the derm visit. BUT I COULD FEEL 4 CYSTS LURKING under the surface. I told my derm how horrible the old zits were 
exploding on my face with 4-headed monsters like every day, and that 20mg of tane WASN'T DOING SHIT to stop it. AND HE was like OH, your skin is looking nicer.... I'm going to Keep you on 20mg for another month!!!!!!!!!!!!! GD! 
MOther $#%$$^%$%#^%# And I sat there, dumbfounded, 
and didn't SAY ANYTHING! UUUGGGHhh and now i'm stuck with this low dose for another month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *&&^$%#$%* ME! 
I WEIGH 150 freaking pounds, my MINIMUM effective dose is like 60mg! %$^#$^$$%&&^^%$%##
And once i got to the AIRPORT 3 hours later, 3 CYSTS POPPED their ugly freaking heads out! And LILLITH IS FREAKING BACK, and spouted 2 new HEADS! 
Im so upset tonight. 
I just need to cry.
I don't know why i didn't speak up!
I don't want to go through 6 MONTHS of Accutane, and @&%# up my liver, bones, hair, nails, and not get freaking PERFECT skin!
Ive had SO many failed meds, failed docs, failed attempts to get my skin clear. And once my skin looks good, the docs always pull the meds, and then my face ERUPTS in cystic and pitting acne. Just look at my beginning pics, THose were AFTER being on MINO for 4 MONTHS at the MAXIMUM dose. I WAS on a MAX dose of MINO for 7 Months! (3 months over recommended) and then after stopping mino, because my LIVER was S%$#&@ All the acne came back WORSE!
I just don't want to put my body through this drug, and not get results! and results FOREVER is what im after!
I need to cry. Im stressed out, disappointed, and have exams tomorrow morning.
F%$# just F%$#
FML
Maybe Ill take pictures tomorrow, or something, i just cant handle looking at my face tonight. Im gonna take it out on the freaking BLACKHEAD CONVENTION happening on my nose. Extractor tool, 
here I come!
Arugh. It's the worst when you turn into a mute at the doctor's. And then afterwards you think of a million things to say.
Maybe next time, take a picture of your skin looking shitty the NIGHT before, with a DATE on it, and then shove it in his face and be like "See? SEE?!" and then volunteer for him to feel the cysts lurking beneath the surface.
@Kernel Yeah, I think I will do that next time! I could like print them all out. I mean my derm is not like a jerk or anything, i just didnt say anything. so i dont think he'd disagree if i asked for an increase. Maybe having the pictures with me would help me have the confidence to approach the problem? Eh, there's always next month
Hey guys, decided to post the pics after last night's melt down. Feeling better today. Hopefully my skin clears up a little after the stress of exams is gone?
Aww don't worry and don't get discouraged, we're all in this together You never know, things might go differently this month! Just be positive- and next month, demand your raise! If it makes you feel any better.. you've got nothin' on my IB/Hormonal eruption right now. And the best part- I have a presentation tomorrow 
with my whole face on display..not literally but you know what I mean *sigh*.
Hang in there!!!!!
And goodluck on your exams if you haven't had them already, and if you did- I'm sure you did awesome!
@hopeful thank you so much for the encouragement, a little goes a long way. I hope your IB goes away soon! tell me about being on display. since i dont wear makeup (allergies) i feel like that all the time, especially at work! Im sure you will Rock it out girl!
DAY 31
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
!!!!! 
BLISTER PACK DANCE 
!!!!!
ACNE UPDATE
Well, I def have calmed down since a couple of days ago. Although yet ANOTHER inflamed zit has popped up on my face since yesterday, with no clearing of the others, i feel BLA, UNDERWHELEMED. 
What do you guys do when you have the accutane blues??? any suggestions?
I can feel in my bones, that this dosage of accutane is not enough. I am breaking out at the same rate as before about 1 zit per day. Sometimes like right after my period, ill get about 4 at a time. This is what has been happening on my face since about 7 months ago when i stopped Mino.
I think my derm is trying to 'save' me from getting a really bad IB. And i can appreciate that, because my acne SCARS my face with pits, holes, and rolling scars, every zit = a new pit.
I name the new CONSTELLATION on my face ORION because they look like orion's belt. ECK!
But on a positive note, the right side of my face is looking really nice, besides the multitude of tiny whiteheads still here and there, no new breakouts there in about 3 weeks!!! and LILLITH has gone down. I think she's going into her vampire lair for a few days.
EMO
Hey everybody! guuueeesssssss what???? I GOT AN A on my exam!!!! Oh Yeah! Oh Yeah! All the stress and tears and anxiety attacks were worth it!
Oh, i bought some new fair-trade, hippy-dippy, organic, non sulfate, non chemical shampoo and conditioners. Ill post reviews on my hair blog.
? does anyone out there use a sunless tanner?
DAY 32
Attacked my blackheads today, piiiiccccckkkkkeeeeed them out with my extractor tool. OMG they were so big! it felt so good to get them out of my face. LOL it was the highlight of my day!
now my nose is all red/sore. 
Oh well, i just haaaad to do it! those giant raised BH were taunting me from every mirror, darn every shiny surface! and i tried pore strip after pore strip, and they wouldnt budge! so extractor tool it was. it was so satisfuing to hear that little 'pop' they make. and omg, i got enough sebum to wax my floor!
DAY 33
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
ACNE UpDaTe:
Thought id post some quick photos. Only got about 3 hrs of sleep today due to some jerk pullin the fire alarm at 2am! got some new "friends" on my face, one on my jawline. i hate the ones on the neck. they hurt soooooo bad! waaaa waaaaa waaaa.
got all my blackheads out yesterday. posted a pic of the aftermath of the intensive pciking sesh. nose is all red and scaly now. i was stupid to do that!
Im so sick of waking up in the morning, to find new breakouts. sick of it!
anyways, my eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep, baggys and dark circles. got some new broken capilaries on cheeks. ugh, those are impossible to get rid of! hopefully they are superficial.
EMO
Im TIRRREEED zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
i wish i could hide behind something all day long. Maybe an Italian Lace affair? im gonna bring the fan back!
DAY 34
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
ACNE UpDaTe,
slept with TTO mud mask on acne last night. Got it all over my pajamas, little green flecks everywhere. It didnt take away the inflamation, but it did make 2 of ORION'S BELT come to a head. One of them, i took OUT, the other i left alone. Im going to treat again tonight, to see if the redness goes down. Right side of my face is completely clear, except for red patches and some non inflamed whiteheads. Hopefully these disappear, there are about 15 of them in groups across my cheeks and chin. Oh and LILLITH went down, but is still LURKING beneath the SURFACE waiting til ive got something important to do to rear her ugly head. Got another giant WH lurking between my eyes, hasnt surfaced yet, but i feel it lurking as well.
BLACK HEADS
my back has been itchy, when i scratch it, black heads fall out. I know, disgusting, but to me it means that the TANE is clearing out all the old garbage in my skin. I wipe my back in the AM with TTO and inbetween my cleavage too. Noticed large BH forming there also. Havent had anymore cysts on my back tho, greatful for that. my nose, im not happy with, but then again i never will be. but at least I cleaned out the most prominant BH, so now all thats left are large 'pools' of oil. I usually get facials 1 x month to take care of them, but now, I cant cause of the TANE, so im frustrated seeing them on my nose, chin, and forehead.
SYMPTOMS
Had a really weird dream last night. A girl came and sat on my bed, right next to me, I grabbed her arm, and she disappeared to turn into a Sock Puppet under my duvet. She was creepy and shit, so i tried to wake my self up by screaming, pinching myself, and slapping my face. I reached over to turn on the lamp, trying to wake myself up, the lamp fell over and broke, started a fire on my floor, the girl laughed manically at me. I jumped onto the fire and started smothering it with a pillow. Then i woke up, all sweaty, and creeped out. kept my light on.
Your updates are always so entertaining and adventurous, I love it. I hate the ones that lurk too.. grr!! Don't worry, they will all DIE soon enough. Lillith just won't give up huh?
I can feel the black heads on my back as well, though it sounds gross... doesn't it feel good to know that the tane is pushing all the ucky stuff up and outta there? Let's be positive I really want to use those Biore strips on my nose- it's in desperate need of one but I'm scared it's going to rip the skin off. I mean, I took off the bandaid from my blood test and that was red and swollen for 2 days!
I wish I stopped reading before I got to your dream... CREEPY!!!!! I'm a big fraidy cat.. I'd sleep with the light on too 
hey lady! i started my course just a couple days after you! your pictures look great to me and dang is your log entertaining! i have a theory that lilith took the form of a sock puppet in order to come into your dreams and further harass you now that she cant lurk on your skin haha. seriosuly though you are looking great! best of luck with your course!
@hope true, so true! whatever makes the blackheads leave! the pore strips were very drying, but i pull them off slowly, i dont just rip them off my face, if it at any times felt burning/stinging id wash it off. im sleeping with the light on tonight too
@eve since we are a few days apart, we should keep up with eachother, ill mosey on down to your post soon lol thats an intresting theory, perhapse i should've named my giant pimple rainbow gold giving goddess, instead after a female baby killin vampire? then id be haunted by a good fairy instead of a bloodsucker!
DAY ummmm 38???
Claravis 20mg
Fish Oil 1g
Calcium + D
Bcomplex
Glucosamine + Chondroitin
ACNE UPDATE
LILLITH fell off about 2 days ago, underneath was guess what??? another WHIte HeAd! Its like a perpetual motion zit! 
Old ORION is crusting over finally, two large WH fell off yesterday, Im STILL breaking out in that area tho, got about 3 newbies baby zits under and around where the old buggars fell off. Seems at times like i have Zits on top of Zits. Face has been very red/splotchy lately.
Right side of my face is clearing up nicely. still have non inflamed WH deep under the surface, and my cheeks are splotchy. Hope in time, the splotchiness will fade, and the redness is prob from stress induced eczema.
GOt more blackheads with some pore strips a few days ago, and finally, i think i got the last of the large black ones! Im not convinced that they wont come back tho, because during my period, they usually get realllly bad, although not always so black, some look like shallow pools of oil. GOD i miss Facials!
SYMPTOMS
Ballet tore up my feet. then my 8 hr shift at the hospital, toes look like bubblegum. Back hurt like 2 days ago, went to the chiropractor, and the back cramps went away. Got eczema rashes on my arm and chest two days ago. im ignoring it for now, i think its from the stress.
lips were PEELING today, didnt get to reapply for like 3 hours, and i had to go into the bathroom, and rub off the dead skin, and sat there with my lipbalm like uuuuuugggggggg, ooooooooooommmmmmm, yyyeeeaaaaaahhhhh, AAAHHHH! for like 10 minutes just bathing my lips. i think my professor thought i was nutz! Nails look weak, but better than i thought they'd be. Hands have been so dry, and chapped. Gonna take special care of hands and nails this weekend.
Other than that, nothing life altering happening here this week. Oh, i forgot to take my Tane like 2 days ago. didnt notice a difference, and im gonna miss 3 days near the end anyways due to the dr's office scheduling, so thought, well i might as well spread out the missed days to cover me at the end. But i noticed absolutely no difference in my skin from skipping one day.
HMMMMM having trouble uploading pictures? is there a limit to how many pictures one can have?
**OK sorry guys, had to delete some of the older pics, to make room for the newer ones!
Ohhh I DEFINITELY see improvement from your last set of pics!!!! LOOKING GOOD!!! And the right side looks completely clear
I'm getting the dam back cramps too, its so annoying! Also, I had to miss 2 pills because of the derm overbooking-ness as well, but it really didn't make a difference at all- so don't worry about it. My skin actually still continued to clear in those 2 days, that was a relief.
Good to see ure doing well- I'm really excited to see your progress
Take care!