I think the hardest part of dealing with my acne is how low my self-esteem gets because I feel really disfigured. People tell me I'm still attractive, but I look in the mirror. There's a huge mixture of pimples and scars. And it's really hard for me to feel attractive when I see myself. I try to avoid mirrors actually. I wanted to get back into dating, but I look at myself and wonder who would date someone that looks like this. I keep putting it off until my acne is under control. I've been seeing a dermatologist for several months and none of the treatments we've tried is working. I don't know what to do anymore or how to feel better about myself. Or how I can convince myself that someone will find me lovable. Logically I know that it's more personality than appearance. But still. I wouldn't even do holiday pictures this year because I look so bad.

I try not to give up hope that one day this can get better. I've been battling acne all year. It feels hopeless.