Acne.org Products
As I had a lot of stress a few days ago, I picked my skin really bad on two sites. There wasyn't even a real pimple... I just thought there was. So now I'm left with two dark brownish spots which stand out a lot because of my pale skin, in addition to my other red marks and a few pimples, which just look horrible. I can't use make-up, as I'm a guy and you would definitely notice. I have sort of a date tomorrow with the girl of my dreams, I planned this shit out for 2 month and was really looking forward to it. Now I'm fucked, even if my friends tell me it doesn't look THAT bad, that's all I can think about and my confidence is below zero. I hate it when they say "if she is good enough for you, she won't care about your skin". I mean come on, if you are honest, physical attraction is at least as important, if not more important than character in the beginning when you get to know someone. I just read a study about the evolutionary purpose of acne, which suggest nothing less than that it functions to ward of possible mates if you are too young to handle parenthood:
QuoteAdolescent acne is considered from the perspective of evolutionary psychology with an emphasis on a role in mate choice. The fact that acne, which is almost universal and not a true infection, is (1) initiated at puberty by the action of pubertal hormones on likely distinct, pro-acne follices, and (2) typically resolves in one's early twenties when prefrontal cortex development is complete, suggests that the condition's timeframe is meaningful. Acne's conspicuous localization on the face, and its ability to elicit reflexive disgust and avoidance in observers, suggests a possible role in sexual selection. The pathophysiology of acne is reviewed, and the suggestion made that, far from being a disease, adolescent acne is a normal physiological process - a high-order psychoneuroimmune interaction - that functions to ward off potential mates until the afflicted individual is some years past the age of reproductive maturity, and thus emotionally, intellectually, and physically fit to be a parent.
So basically I'm carrying around an active disgust-inducing mating defense on my face as an adult of 25. Sorry I'm rambling, I'm just hating that shit and myself for fucking up again.
33 minutes ago, Newbla said:Adolescent acne is considered from the perspective of evolutionary psychology with an emphasis on a role in mate choice.
I don't buy this study. I remember reading it when it first did the rounds about 10 or 15 years ago and it just doesn't make evolutionary sense to me. For a start, the idea of adolescents not being ready to have children is a relatively modern concept. In nature most organisms would reproduce when they are physically able to. The artificially created society we live in hasn't really existed long enough for evolution to take any significant effect.
In fact I can't think of any other evolutionary trait that is designed to discourage people from mating. It would sort of defeat the point of genetic reproduction.
I prefer the theory that acne is an unintended consequence from when we all had hairy faces (men and women). During puberty oil production increases to make our hairy faces look shiny and healthier. This would make us more physically attractive to potential mates, except now most adolescents don't have facial hair so there's nowhere for the oil to go. It gets trapped in the hair follicles and becomes infected, which leads to acne. So acne is a negative consequence for what would have been a positive evolutionary trait.
57 minutes ago, jwalk said:I don't buy this study. I remember reading it when it first did the rounds about 10 or 15 years ago and it just doesn't make evolutionary sense to me. For a start, the idea of adolescents not being ready to have children is a relatively modern concept. In nature most organisms would reproduce when they are physically able to. The artificially created society we live in hasn't really existed long enough for evolution to take any significant effect.In fact I can't think of any other evolutionary trait that is designed to discourage people from mating. It would sort of defeat the point of genetic reproduction.
I prefer the theory that acne is an unintended consequence from when we all had hairy faces (men and women). During puberty oil production increases to make our hairy faces look shiny and healthier. This would make us more physically attractive to potential mates, except now most adolescents don't have facial hair so there's nowhere for the oil to go. It gets trapped in the hair follicles and becomes infected, which leads to acne. So acne is a negative consequence for what would have been a positive evolutionary trait.
Thank you, that makes acutually more sense to me too. Nonetheless, I think a healthy looking skin is a good indicator for a healthy immune system, so from an evolutionary stand point, it still lowers the chances of mating success significantly. It's not like your potential partner can make any conscious decision about that, such evaluations are mostly subconscious. At least acne doesn't seem to be purpose-built to fuck up your love life, so thank you for your input.
You are right to believe physical attraction does matter to a degree that is relevant for each of us is uniquely independent however. I'd say it true for me on a first impression basis never having met someone before until that point. Expectations are high on- many levels. I find this a bit different if both of you know each other on more so daily-weekly basis and decide to go out together. Those expectations are sort of less there's less anxiety. So, yes now the big moment is here what to do besides lose your mind and overly obsess about this issue of yours? Well if you can treat it like a pimple with BP or SA I'd say go for it in a non panic manner (don't apply it every hour of the day in hopes of "speeding recovery") then go for it.
Secondly, most importantly aside from looks and physical attraction. Females are attracted to confidence. Not bad boy arrogance or type-A idiot. Actual confidence in your self and presentation not showing you are insecure and fragile. Be confident, bold, strong, yourself... this ones huge. Whatever this person knows you for be that and let the other stuff flow naturally when you see where you are alike. This will get your mind of you and she won't question your looks.
Interesting thing about being yourself. It really is the best thing to do. I am social. Very talkative. When i met what would be my girlfriend today that's what she admired most when we first met from an online site because shes an active listener that loves to listen. From there we learned we have much the same interests and views. Often now she just says nothing while i talk my head off when were driving or sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Because that's what she likes. Just be you.
Thanks for your answer k3tchup. I know you are right, but I can't help my irrational feelings. We don't know each other too well - we just met a couple of times at a party. So I asked her, if she wanted to come with me to this one tomorrow. As long as my skin looks somewhat okay, my confidence is quite good actually. I just don't know why it plummets THAT bad if gets worse. Maybe it has something to do with getting bullied in school because of my skin for years. I was considering not going there, but that's not an option for me anymore. I'll have a few drinks more than usually and hope that can turn my fucking mind off. On the plus side, I think the lights will be dim there, so maybe that will help...
15 hours ago, k3tchup said:Be confident, bold, strong, yourself... this ones huge.
So which is it; be confident, bold, strong - or be yourself? The two are often mutually exclusive. I'm not a bold person. I'm just not. Should I pretend to be bold? If so then I'm not really being myself am I?
Personally I think when you first meet someone the last thing you should be is yourself. You should be a vaguely neutral version of yourself until you can ascertain what the other persons opinions and boundaries are. Then as time passes you can open up to them more and live the dream of being your quirky self.
