hey i really lyk the kind of thread uh've made and decided to do a similar one  
 

Those of us who suffered with cystic acne can truly empathize with your journey. I was on Accutane in the mid 80's. had dermabrasion following that and I am now a 50+ female who could definitely use more treatment to make my complexion more "normal." But I won't do it. I've come to the long drawn conclusion, this is it. This is what I've had to face the world with after all these years.....I'm not beautiful, I'm not model worthy and at times I consider having more surgery. I figure why bother.....they say people don't read the book if they don't like the cover. Well many people are missing out on a really good story....because I'm more than just a scarred face. I truly hope you find peace and acceptance of yourself in time.

On 4/26/2016 at 9:57 AM, honeyhon said:

hey i really lyk the kind of thread uh've made and decided to do a similar one  

On 4/26/2016 at 5:31 PM, visibleMemories said:

Those of us who suffered with cystic acne can truly empathize with your journey.   I was on Accutane in the mid 80's. had dermabrasion following that and I am now a 50+ female who could definitely use more treatment to make my complexion more "normal."  But I won't do it.  I've come to the long drawn conclusion, this is it.  This is what I've had to face the world with after all these years.....I'm not beautiful, I'm not model worthy and at times I consider having more surgery.  I figure why bother.....they say people don't read the book if they don't like the cover.  Well many people are missing out on a really good story....because I'm more than just a scarred face.  I truly hope you find peace and acceptance of yourself in time.

@Honeyhon I'll make sure to check it out then!

That's really inspiring! I have to disagree though, I don't think it's that bad doing all those anti scars & acne procedures. Taking care of yourself and doing it for yourself should be the main goal, not to please other people or doing it just to fit in. I'd personally go through all of that after I'm done with Accutane just to make myself feel better because I feel really bad right now.

#2 28/4/2013
This is one of the few things I always tell myself: One of the few people that do inspire me to go on with my life is Kendall Rae, I don't know if you know who she is but basically, she has PCOS (Is that how you call it?) what it basically means, no matter how hard you try to get in shape and eat healthy and all of that - you will never lose weight, or it will be extremely difficult. But it's still doesn't stop her from doing it anyway! I find it amazing. And also, there was another youtuber that has some kind of a disease in the bottom of her face, she's not able to talk and all of the bottom section of her mouth is basically exposed but guess what? that still doesn't stop her from making YouTube videos and put on make up and do her hair. What I basically (I say that word wayyy too often eh?) found, which is a cliche but it is if you'll just be yourself, be you without all of that insecurities, your personality will shine through and you'll be beautiful on the outside as much as you are on the inside. And if you feel so bad that you'll never be a model or look good, or someone will find you attractive because of your acne - how are they supposed to feel? they don't have anything that can make them look better, yet still they didn't give up the hope in their lives. So get things in perspective because you're defiantly not the only one with insecurities. Believe me, the world is not easier for pretty people. Yeah the beauty standards are perfect skin, symmetrical face, tall body, perfect hair and all of that, but why? No one wants a fucking barbie doll and if they do they seriously have something wrong with them. Don't hate yourself because your skin looks like skin. Skin has imperfections, that's how skin works. Don't worry about what the world thinks is pretty, the world is hypocritical and fucked up so it has no say in anything. 

7 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

Believe me, the world is not easier for pretty people.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to call you out for this! I don't mind being unattractive, I've accepted it, but I do resent the idea that I'm somehow not at a disadvantage socially because of this. The world is easier for pretty people, particularly during youth. Being beautiful doesn't mean you'll have a life free of problems or insecurities, everyone has tragedy in their lives, but it minimises the risks and makes those issues up a lot easier to deal with. Never underestimate the self esteem that comes from constant positive reinforcement, both from your peers and society at large, particularly during the formative years of our lives.

7 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

Yeah the beauty standards are perfect skin, symmetrical face, tall body, perfect hair and all of that, but why? No one wants a fucking barbie doll and if they do they seriously have something wrong with them.

Beauty standards aresuch because symmetrical perfection is more aesthetically pleasing. It just is. Society isn't tricking you, although mass media is constantly remind you of the fact that we admire physical beauty. There's no point deluding yourself any differently, or looking down on others who openly admire or aspire to those characteristics.

7 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

What I basically (I say that word wayyy too often eh?) found, which is a cliche but it is if you'll just be yourself, be you without all of that insecurities, your personality will shine through and you'll be beautiful on the outside as much as you are on the inside.

You're right, this is a cliche and its one that I've often found hard to stomach. Also,if you're being you without all your insecurities, you're not really being yourself are you? You're just being a character in the hope that others will like you. There's nothing wrong with that per sey, but its kind of like someone saying "Just be yourself - no, not like that!".

I'm not saying for one second that personality won't go a long way in life. If you happen to have a charming or amusing personality many people, though importantly not everyone, will like you regardless of your appearance. What if you don't have that charming personality? Should you fake it and pretend you are all happy and smiley when you're not? Why should you feel the need to impress others?

I suspect this is kind of why physically beautiful people have easier lives that the rest of us. They don't have to put the effort in and that's where their confidence comes from. The unattractive have to be twice as charming to get half as far in life.

I'm reminded of a scene from Pulp Fiction...

Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.

Vincent: Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal?

Jules: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy, but they're definitely dirty. But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way.

Vincent: Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true?

Jules: Well, we'd have to be talkin' about one charming pig.

51 minutes ago, jwalk said:

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to call you out for this! I don't mind being unattractive, I've accepted it, but I do resent the idea that I'm somehow not at a disadvantage socially because of this. The world is easier for pretty people, particularly during youth. Being beautiful doesn't mean you'll have a life free of problems or insecurities, everyone has tragedy in their lives, but it minimises the risks and makes those issues up a lot easier to deal with. Never underestimate the self esteem that comes from constant positive reinforcement, both from your peers and society at large, particularly during the formative years of our lives.
It's totally fine, I respect comments like these! Not too long ago I saw someone lecturing at Ted. He's a very handsome young man, perfect profile, blue eyes, good looking even skin. Yet he himself was a mess. Suicidal. Like it or not, pretty people can get scarred for life as much as we do. I disagree with what you're saying - you can get bullied for being pretty. And actually, some of the people who are being bullied are pretty good looking people! So I don't think physical appearance plays THAT kind of an important key in that, it all depends on how you introduce yourself & how people react to it. Some people's personality can make you feel amazing - regardless of how they look like. Believe me.

Beauty standards aresuch because symmetrical perfection is more aesthetically pleasing. It just is. Society isn't tricking you, although mass media is constantly remind you of the fact that we admire physical beauty. There's no point deluding yourself any differently, or looking down on others who openly admire or aspire to those characteristics.
1. Beauty standards can fuck off as far as I'm concern. No one can tell you "You're not prettty enough because you don't meet these certain standards". It is what it sounds like - it's wrong.
2. I do look down at people who want a barbie doll - It's unrealistic, it doesn't present who we are as a society, it doesn't present what most of us look like and it's superficial at most.

You're right, this is a cliche and its one that I've often found hard to stomach. Also,if you're being you without all your insecurities, you're not really being yourself are you? You're just being a character in the hope that others will like you. There's nothing wrong with that per sey, but its kind of like someone saying "Just be yourself - no, not like that!".
You're only not being you if you let your insecurities define you.

I'm not saying for one second that personality won't go a long way in life. If you happen to have a charming or amusing personality many people, though importantly not everyone, will like you regardless of your appearance. What if you don't have that charming personality? Should you fake it and pretend you are all happy and smiley when you're not? Why should you feel the need to impress others?
If you're not happy and smiley there's probably something wrong and you need to take care of that. Do you want to live a sad life? And I don't think there's something wrong with being aspired to have a certain personality. Not at all actually. I've always had the idea of what kind of man I want to be. I had yet to become that, so does it mean that I'm fake or am I not being true to my true self, or the other way around? You see, it's not just black and whites. It's just greys.

I suspect this is kind of why physically beautiful people have easier lives that the rest of us. They don't have to put the effort in and that's where their confidence comes from. The unattractive have to be twice as charming to get half as far in life.
Getting far in life - You have a brain. The only one who stops you from using it is you. You can learn and become a successful person! And we all know the being successful is attractive. Smell is also very attractive. Voices play big part as well. So it's not just your physical appearance that can attract people to you. Basic grooming can make such a big difference. If you brush your teeth, do your hair, put on makeup (it's not really a must, I'm kinda against it) shave your face and you're in shape the chances someone will turn down dating you is very small.

My math teacher isn't your typical idea of beauty but he's such a sweetheart and he's really shy and has good manners that he seems pretty attractive to me. Again, he's not super amusing or has tons amount of confidence whatsoever, but the fact that I was still able to find him attractive says there's definitely something there.

I wrote everything in the quote.

I agree with the resentment for people who have clear skin... It's so unfair... All i want is what others seem to have naturally.

Days spent crying... Months without leaving the house... The money and pain spent on treatments... The hours spent following a skincareroutine... The YEARS of looking at success stories online for that glimmer of false hope...

they have to go through none of that because God decided that they didn't have too. Simple as that.

6 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

Like it or not, pretty people can get scarred for life as much as we do. I disagree with what you're saying - you can get bullied for being pretty.

I never said this. In fact i actually made the point that being pretty doesn't necessarily shield you from insecurities and negativity. I never said that people don't get bullied for being pretty (I don't think i mentioned bullying at all). It happens, but its not the norm.

As a parallel to your argument,I had a friend at school who was bullied for being rich. He was the only rich kid in a predominantly working class area. It screwed him up a bit. However, that doesn't change the fact that life is easier for rich people than it is for poor people. There are intrinsic worries, insecurities and social stigmas that come with being poor. It the same with being ugly. I'm sure you can overcome them, but again the main reason I disagreed with your post is the idea that life isn't easier for people who don't have to deal with that. I find it disingenuous. I don't mind putting the effort in, I've accepted that life's not fair and I've got it better than many nowadays, but the implication that I haven't been disadvantaged in some way is a little unpalatable to me. We're not all on a level playing field, some people get a head start, some people get carried, others have to play catch up and some choose not to play at all.

7 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

1. Beauty standards can fuck off as far as I'm concern. No one can tell you "You're not prettty enough because you don't meet these certain standards". It is what it sounds like - it's wrong.

Beauty standards are what they are. You're not obliged to meet them. There will never be, and has never been, a time when physical disfigurement or deformity has been considered aesthetically pleasing. I don't resent this.

7 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

I do look down at people who want a barbie doll

I find this to be demeaning. I think its wrong to refer to someone as a barbie doll, just because they happen to be, or aspire to be, aesthetically pleasing. Do you feel that these people are looking down on you? Why would you assume this? It sort of undermines the main theme of your argument. If looks aren't important and personality counts for more, surely that applies to pretty people too?

7 hours ago, dontscrewup said:

If you're not happy and smiley there's probably something wrong and you need to take care of that.

Any ideas? I think this could be the official motto of the forum.