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Hello everyone,
So I've recently had acne and I've been on roaccutane. My course is over now. However, I'm left with scarring on both sides of my face. My parents both say it doesn't look that bad, but somehow I think they would say that whatever the case. It would be an understatement to say it bothers me. I feel like everyone I meet hates me because of how I look. I know this might well be paranoia on my part, but...
Does anyone have any tips? Has anyone else come through this?
How do I regain my self confidence?
Thank you all for your time.
Confidence is more than skin deep so practice going out and confronting your fears. Look people in the eye, stand directly in front of them and do all of this sans makeup. When you allow yourself to feel uncomfortable and to see that people are not really making it all about you, you'll see that your insecurities are mostly internal rather than external. The marks will fade given time of you could use an AHA. Waiting a few months after accutane is a must.
Acne and acne scarringare famous for making people very miserable, but we should not let them control our life, especially given that there some good treatments, and given that we live in 21st century with many good treatments for scars (e.g. Fraxel laser, dermabrasion, chemical peels etc.). But any procedure post-isotretinoin (Accutane) should be postponed for about 6 months after the last pill given some reports of worse scarring after proceduresduring that period.
Here are some things you can do immediately:
Be active, go outside, and please, please try to keep your chin up! I know you feel sad and lonely with your problem, but you have to keep on going, and do not hide!!! Hiding will make you feel worse. Here is the story my father told me from his high school days:
There was a pleasant freshman girl that had a horrible accident in her early childhood- she lost her right hand in the car crash. But guess what- she was not hiding it at all, actually she would gesticulate and wield that arm without hand in the air more than her normal arm. Other students subconsciously were therefore left with no other choice except to immediately and instinctively accept her situation as something normal, and not something to be ashamed of. She later on got married to one of the most popular boys and had a productive and happy life with four children. My father met her at the 10-year graduation anniversary dinner, and asked her how come that she had not been hiding her arm without hand. She simply answered that her parents instructed her not to hide her handicap at all, and to do just the opposite, to accept it like it is nothing. By doing so she made it to become nothing to her and to the others. In contrary, if she had started hiding it, everyone around her would have started feeling uneasy and uncomfortable being around her, and that would have ultimately caused her to end up being alone.
Isn't this the best way to deal with your imperfections? This story teaches us an important lesson: Things that seem to be out of our control (irreversible handicap in this case) are very much under our control, we just have to make the choice similar to the girls choice from the above story. You cannot control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it!
Therefore, if you are unhappy with your look due to acne, or due to any other possible perceived imperfection - you can control it, and you are not alone at all. Various studies and surveys in the U.S. and abroad show that 80-90% teenagers are unhappy with their looks. So power through with chin up, and live your life to the fullest! But again, you are NOT alone. If nothing really helps, then you should see a good psychiatrist who can help you tremendously.
Wishing you all the best and let's keep fighting acne together!
Vise
On 14 April 2016 at 2:17 AM, Viseslav Tonkovic-Capin said:You cannot control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it!
Although scars can be upsetting, I think for now it might help to focus on the distance you have already come, and the fact that you have no (or little?) active acne anymore. There are many positives that come with this - i.e. no more pain, less redness, not having to check your face in the mirror every morning to see how many new pimples you have.
I don't know how deep your scars are, but most will improve over time.
Some acne suffers cherish their scars as it reminds them of a journey they went through (and came out the other side). I think if you can focus on what acne has taught you as a person, you are more likely to cherish the scars, and recognise them as a meaningfulpart of yourself and your story.