Hey all,
Brief Intro
Ive had acne for about 12 or 13 years, since I was about 17 (Im now 30). At one point it was really bad, inflamed, cystic acne. I managed to improve to the point where I get maybe just two (or max three zits per week now), and they tend to be hardly noticeable, not really inflamed. Sometimes, Ill even go for two or three weeks without a new zit. Then usually, Ill tend to break out a little at some point.
The things which helped were: eating healthily (salads, no junk food, NO SUGAR), exercise, and replacing breakfast with a few shots of wheatgrass and a freshly juiced organic green juice (the wheatgrass/green juice is a miracle worker in reducing inflammation). This got me to 80% clear.
Then I added Benzoyl Peroxide, using it maybe once every 3 days, and occasionally using apple cider vinegar (about once a week is best, or it loses effectiveness if used too regularly). That got me to 90 to 100% clear depending on the week. Pretty simple stuff, but the two things I swear by are BP (I use the regimen 2.5%) and the wheatgrass/green juice (or green smoothie) + eating regular, fresh organic salads (try at least one salad per day). Do that and cut out the junk and sugar and you should see a big difference over time.
The emotional effects of acne
However, I mainly wanted to write a post about the emotional effects of acne. Im sitting here, with a particularly nasty break-out at the moment. Ive been sick recently with both food poisoning and then flu, havent been eating quite as good as usual, and I think its all added up to create a nasty break-out. It got me thinking about the emotional effects of acne. Ive had some insights I want to share with you all. This is coming from someone who has sat in the front of the mirror before (probably only say 5-6 years ago), tearing at my skin, crying, hating myself, unable to go outside due to how bad I felt about having acne.
Whilst my skin has mostly healed on the outside, the biggest healing has really been on the inside (body, mind and emotions), and in fact, I suspect the most recent insights are going to aid this process even more. If youre reading this, and youre really suffering, I feel for you, and I deeply hope this may be of some use to you. If this helps even one person, then Im glad I made the effort.
A technique to help you when the psychological suffering is really bad
Heres a fact: feeling upset about your acne, worrying about your acne, imagining how other people will judge you because of your acne, obsessing of your acne none of these things will make your acne any better. In fact, they will likely make it worse, by creating stress hormones in your body. All that world of thought and emotions that surrounds your acne is completely unnecessary.
Can you imagine what it would be like if you looked in the mirror, saw you were breaking out, but you just didnt care, in fact you felt joyful? It didnt affect your level of happiness one tiny iota? There were no thoughts in your head about how bad it was, what other people would think, no fearful emotions, no sense of feeling stressed or anxious. You just thought, calmly, with no worry Oh look its some acne. Im not gonna make it into a big deal, Ill do whatever might help it clear up, like applying BP, and then go about my day.
Sound crazy? Well its not. Im 99% there (I still get a tiny bit bothered by a nasty breakout, but I quickly become aware if Im going down the emotional route of worry/stress/upset and snap out of it. The old patterns of psychological suffering are losing their grip).
Have you heard the saying If you dont mind, it doesnt matter? It is true. The psychological suffering of having acne originates in your mind, and it is possible to be happy whether or not youre breaking out. This is coming from someone who 8+ years ago has felt like committing suicide due to acne.
The technique: Meditation. If you think meditation is mumbo-jumbo, here are 19 scientifically proven reasons, backed-up by peer-reviewed studies, demonstrating the benefits of meditation for your mind and body - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/feeling-it/201309/20-scientific-reasons-start-meditating-today
Theres a lot more research out there if you want to google it, I picked out that article as it was the first thing that came up, but I've spent hours reading about the related scientific research into meditation. Heres exactly what I do: If I start to notice psychological suffering (emotions/thoughts) arising around acne, I either sit down, or lie down, and just pay attention to my breath.
Every time I notice my attention has wandered off into thinking, and is getting lost in the imaginary world of thoughts, I just gently bring my attention back to my breath.
Repeat for a set period of time (you can get Insight Timer on your smart phone for meditation timing). If you find it very hard at first, even five minutes will do (but Id strongly suggest to do 10 minutes or more, gives you long enough to calm down). 10 minutes is an ideal time, 15 minutes is amazing, if you can do 30 minutes, youre a God.
The important thing is to do the meditation IN DIRECT RESPONSE TO BECOMING AWARE OF ACNE-RELATED PSYCHOLOGICAL SUFFERING. As soon as you notice youve opened the door to that world of pain, choose meditation instead. Commit to doing this every time you become aware that a door has been opened to painful thoughts and feelings about acne.
What does this do?
1. It enables you to take a step back from the intense wave of thoughts and feelings, and just watch them. This enables you to avoid getting lost in them. Eventually, if you stop investing your energy and attention into painful thoughts and feelings about acne, they dissolve on their own.
2. It activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps counter stress and depression. It enables you to stay calm.
3. Most importantly, from watching the psychological drama play-out you will realize all these thoughts are just arising in your consciousness. You dont have to believe them. You dont have to let them hypnotize you, and create a world of psychological pain, depression and anxiety. Theres no need for you to live in that world in your mind. Life is difficult enough, without adding all those thoughts and feelings about acne too it.
Ive been doing this for about 10 years. At first, I found it really hard to do. I was so completely identified with my thoughts and feelings about acne. When Id see a break-out, Id feel 100% convinced that it was something to be upset about, and I would be massively upset 100% of the time. I couldnt go outside, I couldnt speak to anyone, I just felt awful, crushed.
Then it went down to 70% convinced it was something to be upset about and Id just about be able to say to myself Lets do some meditation, cool down, and not worry about it so much. Still felt crappy, but at least I could try and be rational.
Then finally it started to reach the point where I just didnt care that much. I certainly didnt like it, but it wasnt a major issue.
Then recently, Ive started to allow myself to feel love and happiness, irrespective of whether or not Im breaking out. Ive started to let go of being concerned about it AT ALL.
Meditation was the core technique for allowing this to take place. It wont magically change things overnight (well it might do), but it will make you a calmer, better, freer, wiser person over time. From the first session, youll be activating the parasympathetic nervous system and reducing stress and worry.
Ok Im going wrap up for tonight, but Im going to write a Part Two to this post tomorrow. In Part Two Im going to write about Finding out what you deeply feel and believe about acne and How to reframe your acne and learn lessons from it.
Feel free to ask any questions about the meditation process and so on, happy to help.
Reframing Acne: Acne Helps you Achieve Psychological Maturity and Freedom from Fear
Having acne can help you to learn some important lessons, and become a freer human being. For most of the years I suffered with acne, this never occurred to me. I just wanted to make it go away, whatever it took. I never considered that acne might have something to teach me.
Now Im not suggesting that you shouldnt use your intelligence to test out the best ways of getting clear, and find what works for you. However, in the meantime, youre stuck with it. Given thats unavoidable, wouldnt it be smart to figure out what you can learn from acne? How you can benefit from it? So rather than just hating the experience, and wanting it to go away, I suggest that you ask yourself: What can I learn from having acne? What can it teach me? Theres a saying: what you resist, persists. Trying to learn from acne, ceasing to resist and hate it, is an important part of your healing process.
Here are some of things that Ive learned from having acne:
Acne can teach you how to live in a state of psychological freedom from fear
This is the story my mind used to spin about acne: If acne would go away, then I would feel so much better. If my skin was clear, I wouldnt feel insecure anymore.
Whenever Id look in the mirror and see that my skin was breaking out you know the first thoughts that would spring into my head: they were all fears about how other people would perceive me, all fears about being judged negatively by others. Id literally imagine pictures of people seeing my acne and judging me.
Do you know what creates this psychological prison? Is it the acne, or is it your fearful way of thinking? The thoughts which are predicting youre going to be judged negatively, creating the emotion of fear/anxiety, are your own self-created psychological prisons. You can do without them.
The benefit of acne is it reveals this psychological prison that exists within your consciousness, the fear of being judged negatively. A large majority of human beings (98% I would guess) are living with this fear to some extent (if they dont have acne, maybe its their weight, or their lack of success, or their nose or whatever), and it controls everything they do, how they act, how they dress, what they do, what they think
Heres a question: Do you want to live a life in which youre controlled by fear? Or would you rather be psychologically free?
The first (and the last) step to becoming free from the psychological fear of being judged negatively is to become deeply aware of this fear, what it believes, and how it controls you.
Heres a suggestion: What really helped me was writing down exactly what the thoughts appearing in my consciousness believe about acne. Here are some of things my thoughts tried to make me believe:
1. Firstly, Id often imagine people looking at my acne and forming an unattractive image of me in their mind. I was believing this is what would happen when people saw acne on my skin.
2. These thoughts would cause a sense of fear. The fear of being outcast, rejected, treated unkindly and so forth.
Maybe some people will have this response to seeing acne, but the truth is, not all of them will. In fact, Id say most of them wont care. There are people who will look at you, and see you for who you are, and connect with you, and not give a damn how your skin looks. Who do you really want in your life? People who would judge you by a tiny detail of what they see on the surface? Or people who dont give a damn about tiny details, and arent into judging people?
So write down the story your mind creates (either in words, or in imaginary pictures) about acne. Ask your thoughts what they believe about acne. Then notice that this is just the activity of your mind, its just a load of thoughts that, up until now, youve been unconsciously believing.
Combine this exercise with the meditation mentioned in my previous post, and youll be on the way to living a life where acne doesnt control you with fear anymore. Its possible to have a break-out and not be at all psychologically affected or concerned. Believe me; Im speaking from my own personal experience!
The mind and thinking want to keep us believing: If only my acne would go away, then Id feel truly happy and my insecurities would disappear.
Its the same mindset as thinking: Ill just get breast implants, and then Ill feel really happy and confident., Ill just have a nose job and then when my nose looks different, then Ill feel really happy and confident, Ill just lose 20lbs and then Ill feel really happy and confident. ETCETERA!
The truth is, your physical appearance isnt whats stopping you from feeling happy and confident, its all the thoughts, fears and beliefs in your mind which are stopping you. That very belief that something needs to change before I can feel happy/confident/free is what keeps you imprisoned! Its the belief that needs to change, not the physical appearance!
If you become deeply aware of how your thoughts are creating a psychological prison. If you can remain calm and aware, witnessing the imaginary, fearful world created by your mind, youll begin to experience freedom from that world; youll stop energizing it with your attention and belief.
Acne can help you learn how to be more accepting and compassionate
Theres one thing acne has helped to teach me: Not to judge other people by their appearance. To be kind and gentle with people, irrespective of what thoughts might say about their appearance.
One thing I notice about my mind, and thoughts in general, is that they often point out negative things about other people. Does your mind do the same thing? They might say someone is fat, or unattractive, or pretentious, or whatever it is. Whatever the minds latest imaginary judgement is.
Its easy to live hypnotized by your own thought-based judgements. But ultimately, judgements keep you feeling separate, and they keep you from experiencing love and happiness (judging other people actually prevents you from being really happy, if you dont believe me, try focusing on being really judgemental, and thinking mean thoughts about everyone you see, and then see how happy it makes you!).
Acne, taught me not to judge other people by their appearance anymore. Its made me a lot happier to be able to see the true essence of a person, and connect with them based on that, rather than superficial things like their physical appearance.
Anyway, Ill wrap this up now, these are just a few ideas I wanted to share.
I recently prayed for insight into my acne problem, and all the thoughts and emotions surrounding it. I felt a flood of insight and inspiration coming into me, breaking up a lot of old mental/emotional patterns, and allowing me to see the problem in an entirely new light: not as a physical ailment to get rid of immediately, but actually as a form of teacher, showing up to reveal certain aspects of my psychology (fear of judgement, desire for approval) and how these thoughts, when energized through belief and attention, were keeping me imprisoned.
Best wishes to you all. I sincerely believe if you perceive your acne in this light, as a teacher, and you open yourself to the lessons it has for you, youll find so much freedom from suffering (and it may just help heal your skin to!).
Two very well written posts! It definitely does seem like getting over one's own thoughts and fears is the hardest part about our struggle. I am almost 30 and have only started thinking about or realizing some of the things if your posts in only the past few years of my 15 years struggle with acne.