I got my first pimple when I was 10. I had absolutely no idea what it was or where it came from. I showed it to my mom, basically asking what in the world had happened to my nose overnight, and she had me put some cream on it and it went away. Cool. Didn't think I'd have to deal with that again.
But by the time I was 11 I was having regular, I slightly breakouts. Nobody else my age had ever even experienced a zit in their life and I had at 10+ on my face at any given time. This was right around the age where you start becoming aware of societal perceptions of beauty, and fashion, and boys etc. Puberty and all that good stuff. From what I gathered, there was a clear image of beauty, and my pizza face was far from ideal. I'd had no interest in makeup until around age 12 I realized I could make it my ally in the battle against acne; I could try and cover up what was happening underneath. But no matter how well-equipped I was with make-up tutorials or $50 foundation, my acne was always several steps ahead, and my skin condition was evident.
By age 16 I finally put my foot down. My acne was getting much, much worse, with the appearance of regular nodules and cysts. I begged my mother to take me to the doctor and finally the appointment was made, and I was prescribed Differin and clindamyacin.
And things were okay for awhile. Acne was relatively under control, things were getting better. Never got 100% clear, maybe 65% at best. But this was far more bearable than the way I was living before, waking up to several new zits every single day. But the creams stopped working, so around a year later I went back in to the doctor, got prescribed doxycycline and...
experienced on of the best memorable periods of my life. I didn't even realize it was working until one day, a good 4 months in I was doing my morning make-up and realized I didn't need to use any coverup. For the first time in all my make-up using life, there was nothing to cover up. For the first time in six years, I could swim without being terrified of my makeup coming off and revealing the troll underneath. I could sleepover at friend's houses without a care in the world, knowing that my skin with make-up would look the same when I took it off before bed. These were some golden days that thankfully coincided with my prom and graduation.
Unfortunately, antibiotics aren't forever. I'm back to what seems like square one, with my acne getting worse by the day. I have a doctor's appointment in a few days and I'm going to request accutane, I feel like it's my only hope at this point. While my acne used to bother me, I feel like I'm especially tormented now because I've seen just how much greener the grass is on the other side and now I'm back here... Breaking out on the daily. It's almost harder going from acne to clear skin back to acne.
Sorry this was such a beast to read (for those of you that actually put aside an hourof your day to read it haha) I've just never articulated in any way my seemingly endless struggle with acne and it felt so good to finally get it all out. Hopefully there are some kindred spirits out there who understand this. I'm very open to any advice and thoughts on this topic. Just anything to feel like there other people out here like me when my acne is making me feel so isolated.
Thanks.
I got my first pimple when I was 10. I had absolutely no idea what it was or where it came from. I showed it to my mom, basically asking what in the world had happened to my nose overnight, and she had me put some cream on it and it went away. Cool. Didn't think I'd have to deal with that again.
But by the time I was 11 I was having regular, I slightly breakouts. Nobody else my age had ever even experienced a zit in their life and I had at 10+ on my face at any given time. This was right around the age where you start becoming aware of societal perceptions of beauty, and fashion, and boys etc. Puberty and all that good stuff. From what I gathered, there was a clear image of beauty, and my pizza face was far from ideal. I'd had no interest in makeup until around age 12 I realized I could make it my ally in the battle against acne; I could try and cover up what was happening underneath. But no matter how well-equipped I was with make-up tutorials or $50 foundation, my acne was always several steps ahead, and my skin condition was evident.
By age 16 I finally put my foot down. My acne was getting much, much worse, with the appearance of regular nodules and cysts. I begged my mother to take me to the doctor and finally the appointment was made, and I was prescribed Differin and clindamyacin.
And things were okay for awhile. Acne was relatively under control, things were getting better. Never got 100% clear, maybe 65% at best. But this was far more bearable than the way I was living before, waking up to several new zits every single day. But the creams stopped working, so around a year later I went back in to the doctor, got prescribed doxycycline and...
experienced on of the best memorable periods of my life. I didn't even realize it was working until one day, a good 4 months in I was doing my morning make-up and realized I didn't need to use any coverup. For the first time in all my make-up using life, there was nothing to cover up. For the first time in six years, I could swim without being terrified of my makeup coming off and revealing the troll underneath. I could sleepover at friend's houses without a care in the world, knowing that my skin with make-up would look the same when I took it off before bed. These were some golden days that thankfully coincided with my prom and graduation.
Unfortunately, antibiotics aren't forever. I'm back to what seems like square one, with my acne getting worse by the day. I have a doctor's appointment in a few days and I'm going to request accutane, I feel like it's my only hope at this point. While my acne used to bother me, I feel like I'm especially tormented now because I've seen just how much greener the grass is on the other side and now I'm back here... Breaking out on the daily. It's almost harder going from acne to clear skin back to acne.
Sorry this was such a beast to read (for those of you that actually put aside an hourof your day to read it haha) I've just never articulated in any way my seemingly endless struggle with acne and it felt so good to finally get it all out. Hopefully there are some kindred spirits out there who understand this. I'm very open to any advice and thoughts on this topic. Just anything to feel like there other people out here like me when my acne is making me feel so isolated.
Thanks.
You are not a troll. You are a human being just like the rest of us.
Lemon30, I know how you feel. started breaking out at age 10 too, No one else was experiencing it at the time either. My acne started before everyone else's and is still going strong at the age of 45. Sitting here covering up two big cysts on my cheeks as we speak. Twin pimples.
I know exactly what you mean. I've struggled with acne for about 17 years now, and I had a whole year of crystal clear skin recently (also while being on doxycycline). Then this past summer, it all came back. It was more frustrating than ever before because I had actually attained clear skin, and it was amazing and I was so much happier, and then it got ripped away from me. I almost wished my skin had never cleared up in the first place so that I wouldn't know what I was missing. Thankfully, my skin finally seems to be slowly improving after being on spirinolactone for about four months, but it just makes me wonder about how long it'll last before acne rears its ugly head again. 
Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I understand what you're going through, and I hope you're able to find a permanent solution to your acne, or as close to permanent as possible.