Ive sacrificed so much in my life because of my bacne. Never been completely comfortable without a shirt on and so on. No beaches, no water parks, no comfortable walks around the house shirt less. The list goes on and on. My back is scarred and i still get breakouts. At one point I felt like I would out grow it. Thats obviously not the case since It started when I was about 12 and here I am at 30 still suffering with it. Theres no way around it. It sucks and I hate it. Always have. No one enjoys their acne or scars or break outs. Ive sacrificed friends, money and so much of life because of it. Lately though Ive felt a change. I mean don't get me wrong.....I still cry, I still complain, I still wonder "why me" at times...But those moments come less and less and don't last as long. In some ways I feel like Im finally outgrowing it from a mental perspective and maybe thats the best it will ever get for me.
Its a work in progress. Nothing gets fixed over night and its a struggle for me. Yet when I was on my break today, I flicked through my phone and saw some pictures of my summer vacation. Me and wife at Vegas having a great time. The time of my life...and It just started to hit me, how Im in a position because I'm relatively healthy to enjoy life and do things like that. Yet I rob myself of more of those moments because of my acne and the disposition Ive created for myself. There are millions of people that will never know what its like to walk, see things, talk, to comprehend simple words and I see those people all the time because I work in a hospital....the blind, the sick, the crippled, the mentally challenged...I see them, every day all the time.....
I went to Las Vegas in the Summer and enjoyed myself....There are people who will never know whats its like just to leave their hospital bed or see a sunrise. Bottom line is , I don't think I will ever be physically "happy" with my appearance but I do believe there will be a day when I learn to accept it and I know that day is coming because I'm starting to appreciate my life little by little and some of the simply blessings that Ive been given.
Anyway I'm done rambling...
Bottom line is, Acne sucks. I know it does. I know what its like to hate what you see and be disgusted with yourself. I know all the feelings that everyone on this site who suffers from it have felt at one point or another. Yet here in NY....its pouring rain right now and I got my two dogs laying with me as I type this...I can hear the rain, see it, feel it and comprehend it....Something so small , yet something many people will never get to experience....
Accept your faults and appreciate what you have in front of you. Acne isn't the be all end all of everything. Theres a chance it might be with you for the rest of your life, as awful as that sounds. Acne might never pass you by....but by fixating on it and handicapping yourself because of it, life will pass you by and that feeling is much worse then any break out. At least for me it is......