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Well here I am, 30 years old and I finally feel like I am able to control my acne. I'm serious when I say that I'm so damn thankful for where I am now (minimal, sometimes no acne).
I started getting acne when I was 13. I basically had zero confidence throughout high school and college (I'm surprised I was even able to go to college). I was anti social and never made an attempt to talk to people. I would go to school and then come home and stay in my room. For some reason though, I had people make an effort to talk to me and get to know me, which is the only reason I had some friends.
My social life, from 13-now, was basically non existent. I avoided seeing my friends. I always declined invitations to do things. I never had a single date with a woman. Never. I couldn't face people with my acne. I never fully developed a social life or the skills and experiences that come with a social life. For 17 years I was basically isolated. I remember before I got acne I was so outgoing and had a ton of friends.
Now here I am. I'm 30 years old, finally got a handle on my acne, and am now trying to start over. It's hard to make friends as a 30 year old, that's for sure. People always told me that acne was more of a mental condition than a physical one and now I believe them. Even on days my skin is perfectly clear, I still worry about it looking bad.
Where do I go from here? Despite being 30, I don't believe it's too late to make new friends, date, find an awesome girlfriend. A lot of people might think it's too late, but I disagree. I HAVE to disagree or I have nothing. I've started working on the mental damage that acne caused. I'm trying to improve my confidence, trying to be more outgoing, trying to make new friends. It's hard, but I knew it wouldn't be easy.
My next step is going to be seeing a psychologist. I NEVER thought I would get to that point, but now I think it's time. Have any of you done this and has it helped? What other things have you done to improve your life after acne?
I'm a firm believer in the saying that everything happens for a reason, so I'm not going to regret my past or be mad about it. The only thing I can do now is work on improving my life.
How has life been for you after acne? What have you done to improve the quality of your life?
Brian85, so glad that the acne is under control....and yes it robs us of so very much
seeing a counselor is a good idea, and in tandem join some clubs (even at our age there are activities where you can meet others with common interests), volunteer consistently, and I assume you are working? If so reach out to grab lunch or drinks after work with a colleague...you are looking for a few male friends, you don't need a lot, one or two would be wonderful
and you keep working on you, on getting better psychologically and socially with just a friend or two...or family counts too...get out, get moving, get some exercise and sunshine and slowly you build a life
one you do that, other things will come, they did for me- but get your internal house in order....it is GREAT that you wrote this note and reached out, it's a great first step now get going on the next steps
sending a virtual hug to you!
I'm in the acne scar recovery period, which is almost worst than acne. But so is life.
Here's the truth. I went to see many therapists and said I had "social anxiety" but never got the nerve to say why. Finally I did. I broke down to my current counselor and explained the decade of torment I've been going through. It has been a blessing. I don't feel so alone in this. Acne is so isolating, it's so much pain that you suffer alone day in and day out. Now my therapist and psychiatrist know I suffer from low self esteem and dysmorphic issues because of it. I've been getting the best treatment of my life.
I'm saying this because I hope you open up and be 100% honest with your psychologist. I know it's embarrassing but to hide the truth about why you've been so self conscious and isolated will result in no progress. Acne causes self image issues that they are educated on. They hear it all!
30 is young for a man. You have plenty of time to date. Lol, kind of joking but for real a lot of divorces start in the 30s with everyone who married the wrong person in their early 20s.
Can I ask you how you coped with work? Is it something you just were able to get out and not be focused on your skin? I'm 24 and work has always been my biggest struggle.
Acne had been a blessing in disguise for me. It made me a better person. It made me more understanding of people and be less judgmental on physical appearances. It made me stand up against bullying and defend those that are picked on over things that are beyond their control. It gave me empathy. I always believed that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger and my acne during high school and all through my early twenties did just that.