Hey, I'm starting to get the idea of posting here. I really need support.

God, I really hate my acne. Sadly my entire family has had acne at one point or another, but I'm realizing I hate this crap more than anyone. My brother is age 25 and his face is all broken out, but he shows absolute apathy for it. However, on the other hand, I freak out so damn bad about it. I'm starting to look at why.

To start off, I used to be a constant target for bullying. Let me be blunt in saying I absolutely despise school, and graduation will be such a f***ing joyous day because I never have to go there ever again. I used to be really fat, and my pimples did not help that at all. I barely had any friends in middle and high school (I'm an introvert with Asperger syndrome), so that feeling of loneliness has always been there for me as well. I'm starting to realize exactly why I hate my acne so much.

It's a reminder of dark, dark, dark times. Not having any friends, being alone all the time, feeling and being called ugly, being fat, not being "equal" to them (this feeling of equality was made worse by being in special education, and being forced through applied behavior analysis, which provided trauma in itself), it was all horrifying for me. Acne is a reminder of that. It reminds me that I still have to go through a struggle, that I still have this gigantic mountain to climb.

Just writing this actually makes me feel a little better. I felt that I really needed to get this one out of my system. It feels really, really good.