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Just three months ago I had absolutely no acne at all. As it's always been for me. In high school i was known for having perfectly clear, soft, and smooth skin. I always was extremely diligent with my skin. Wash, toner, and lotion. Morning and night. Because I hate acne. I got maybe one small pimple a month and even that bothered me. But when I would see people with acne I would just always assume they could be doing something about it. Like oh if they just buy proactive I bet they're skin would look like mine. Oh how was I so stupid.
My face went down hill when I started my first year at college. To top starting my first year of college I also had just come down with mono and my boyfriend (my first serious relationship) had just shipped off to boot camp. So I guess my acne is all a stress thing. That's what the derm told me as well, but really who knows. It stared out really slowly, just a few spots here and there. which still made me feel super self conscious. So I ordered proactive and figured it would clear it right up. But as time went by I just kept getting worse and worse and started to have to apply more and more makeup. which didn't do a lot to really cover it up. My self confidence just kept getting lower and lower. I started breaking off hanging out with my friends because I didn't want them to know i was having this problem. My routine was wake up early, apply a shit ton of makeup, go to class, go home, take all the makeup off, ball my eyes out, go to bed. I just kept figuring that at some point it would have to stop getting worse and start getting better. Having never had acne before I just figured it would blow over. But of course, I was wrong.
It did keep getting worse. To the point where I was missing some days of class because I just couldn't imagine going out that day. I was starting to pour hours of time into looking for a explanation as to why this was happening and how i could make it stop. Then it got so bad I decided to drop out of my classes because I just couldn't deal with it all anymore. I couldn't deal with people looking at me and only seeing my acne and judging me for it.
My derm gave me some topical stuff and the antibiotic bactrim ds. Told me I would start to see some improvement in two weeks. I figured that if I just waited one month I would look somewhat close to myself again. Wrong. I've now been taking my antibiotic for a month and a week. I look so much worse then I did when I went to my appointment it kind of feels like a joke.
My sense of self worth is down the toilet. Something so small and yet so huge has changed everything. Its made me weak. Its made me think and see things differently. I don't even feel like myself anymore and I hate the person I'm becoming. I want to be the kind of person that can have this happen to me and have it not bother me. But I'm not, this is suffocating me. Literally nothing makes me happy anymore. I can't forget about the fact that my face looks like a nightmare. I used to pride myself in my looks, Heck i was voted best hair in high school. Looks were everything to me. Does that make me shallow? Maybe. Either way I'm sure as hell never doing that again. I'm starting accutane this week, thank God. It really is my last hope. It's probably going to take at least a year and a half to get my face back to the way it used to be. That thought makes everything feel hopeless. No one is ever going to look at me and think anything positive for a year and a half.
I don't really leave the house anymore, only when I absolutely have to. because I don't want people to see me. I've only seen family and close friends, and even then I can't help but feel bad because they have to look at my disgusting face. I miss living my life! I want to go out and just be able to be happy and forget about my problems but I can't because my problem is all over my face.
I used to think that everything happened for a reason and life never threw anything at us that we couldn't handle. But I'm not so sure of that anymore. Because I can't handle this! I honestly don't know how I'm going to be able to do this much longer. It just makes me think, why me? I just don't understand, and I hate not knowing why. I used to be so blissfully happy go luck, I feel like I'm never going to get that back. This is screwing with my head so much it's not even funny. Some days I'll almost feel okay. Then other days it all just hits me and all I can do is blankly stare at walls and ball my eyes out. I've never had something like this happen to me before. When someone close to me told me they were depressed, I was never able to relate. Now I can. No one should ever have to feel like this. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.
Oh I just want this to end. I miss being myself.
Well that's just about everything... Maybe someone will read this, maybe not. But for whatever reason throwing my thoughts into the black abyss of the internet makes me feel better. peace out.
hey im sorry to hearl all that
acne can happen when you're in your early 20....its quiet normal ...if i were you i would be happy to spend my high school years ...acne free
but anyway accutane does work like a charm ...but it can leave you with severe side effects after .....trust me i know ...im still dealing with sclap flacking 2 months after i stopped it half way .....its a a gamble ...i only advise it if you're acne is very severe and all other treatments fail
you can try a more natural way ...by cleaning your diet ...its really helping me since i stopped accutane
i hope you make a wise and well informed choice
sorry for my english
It doesn't get any better from this point, unfortunately.
Don't listen to this guy. That's not what anyone needs to hear to make them feel better in a crap situation. I can relate so much to your story...Try out Dan's regimen plz!!! It has worked WONDERS for me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Yes, I still have a big ol zit on my cheek just begging to be popped, but it's ONLY ONE ZIT. not 20 at a time like I used to have. lol. topical Rx creams have nothing on the regimen.
look, stop listenng to your derm. You have acne because there is something wrong with your body. all this medicine they are giving you is making your situation worse.
I suggest you go see a naturopath. You need to check for food sensitivities (not allergies) and gut health and pretty much everything.
you are not gonna fix your problem with medicines. they just mess up your digestive system.
If you don't want to pay for a naturopath, that's fine. but getting the tests done on you won't be nearly as easy. believe me. I've tried and doctors have fucked me over. I have over a thousand in medical bills that I don't plan to pay because the doctors didn't give me what I asked for originally.
Please skip all the BS with the doctors. I hope you never make assumptions about people's awful situations again, though. lol. I know you didn't mean any harm by it, but it really hurts.
I'm a virgin today because of this. I've missed out on so much in my childhood. I've had cystic acne since age 12.
And get off accutane! Even if it clears you up now, it is very harmful to your body and will ruin your digestive system. Then when you get off it, it may come back and look even worse! There are so many people who are even worse than before because of that.
It doesn't get any better from this point, unfortunately.
Don't listen to this guy. That's not what anyone needs to hear to make them feel better in a crap situation. I can relate so much to your story...Try out Dan's regimen plz!!! It has worked WONDERS for me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Yes, I still have a big ol zit on my cheek just begging to be popped, but it's ONLY ONE ZIT. not 20 at a time like I used to have. lol. topical Rx creams have nothing on the regimen.
Listen to him if you like fairy tales.
Actually, Temperatecent, I am a girl. and no, that's not a fairy tail, it's real life and it's definitely achievable with the right treatment/mindset. Perhaps it is you who is in a fairy tail world of misery. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass you can see that not everybody can cope with their problems with negativity. Pray tell me, does your pessimism help you cope with your acne?
OP- You can take this with a grain of salt, but I agree with melloman, accutane sounds like a scary pursuit. Some of my personal favorite remedies include baking soda masks (and the aforementioned regimen). That and time have helped me on my search for a cure... I know it's a long and daunting road; I want you to know that you have support from so many people here on the forum. We all know the struggle. Stay strong and believe you are beautiful from within!
It doesn't get any better from this point, unfortunately.
Don't listen to this guy. That's not what anyone needs to hear to make them feel better in a crap situation. I can relate so much to your story...Try out Dan's regimen plz!!! It has worked WONDERS for me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Yes, I still have a big ol zit on my cheek just begging to be popped, but it's ONLY ONE ZIT. not 20 at a time like I used to have. lol. topical Rx creams have nothing on the regimen.
Listen to him if you like fairy tales.
Actually, Temperatecent, I am a girl. and no, that's not a fairy tail, it's real life and it's definitely achievable with the right treatment/mindset. Perhaps it is you who is in a fairy tail world of misery. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass you can see that not everybody can cope with their problems with negativity. Pray tell me, does your pessimism help you cope with your acne?
Why did you refer to me as a "guy", Jack? How do you know my gender? Can you show me some proven techniques to get rid of acne forever? The right "mindset" will do nothing to help you if your body doesn't respond - there's a woman on this forum in her 30's (who is much more polite than me) who has tried everything at this point and nothing has worked for her acne. She will have it the rest of her life.
Pessimism is irrelevant. I can pretend to be happy about it or angry about it and it won't have any effect on how I look. I used to be naive and figured that I would eventually clear up my acne but after years of failed treatments and thousands of dollars wasted I have realized that there's no hope.
At this point a sex change seems to be the only thing I haven't tried to get rid of acne, but my derm and people on here said that wouldn't work anyway.
lol are you really trying to call me out about referring to you as a guy? I'm pretty sure that you didn't care that much in your first reply. I use that term universally. He's a guy, she's a guy, whatever. I think that pessimism/optimism is absolutely relevant to how you look. those who exude confidence seem to look better on the exterior than those who are too busy wallowing in their own insecure self misery... feel free to pm me if you need further clarification-but I'm not gonna go back and forth with you on this thread...it was created by someone else and this is getting off-topic.
It doesn't get any better from this point, unfortunately.
Don't listen to this guy. That's not what anyone needs to hear to make them feel better in a crap situation. I can relate so much to your story...Try out Dan's regimen plz!!! It has worked WONDERS for me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Yes, I still have a big ol zit on my cheek just begging to be popped, but it's ONLY ONE ZIT. not 20 at a time like I used to have. lol. topical Rx creams have nothing on the regimen.
Listen to him if you like fairy tales.
Actually, Temperatecent, I am a girl. and no, that's not a fairy tail, it's real life and it's definitely achievable with the right treatment/mindset. Perhaps it is you who is in a fairy tail world of misery. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass you can see that not everybody can cope with their problems with negativity. Pray tell me, does your pessimism help you cope with your acne?
Why did you refer to me as a "guy", Jack? How do you know my gender? Can you show me some proven techniques to get rid of acne forever? The right "mindset" will do nothing to help you if your body doesn't respond - there's a woman on this forum in her 30's (who is much more polite than me) who has tried everything at this point and nothing has worked for her acne. She will have it the rest of her life.
Pessimism is irrelevant. I can pretend to be happy about it or angry about it and it won't have any effect on how I look. I used to be naive and figured that I would eventually clear up my acne but after years of failed treatments and thousands of dollars wasted I have realized that there's no hope.
At this point a sex change seems to be the only thing I haven't tried to get rid of acne, but my derm and people on here said that wouldn't work anyway.
lol are you really trying to call me out about referring to you as a guy? I'm pretty sure that you didn't care that much in your first reply. I use that term universally. He's a guy, she's a guy, whatever. I think that pessimism/optimism is absolutely relevant to how you look. those who exude confidence seem to look better on the exterior than those who are too busy wallowing in their own insecure self misery... feel free to pm me if you need further clarification-but I'm not gonna go back and forth with you on this thread...it was created by someone else and this is getting off-topic.
Cool, I didn't know that my acne will clear up just by being less pessimistic. Can you show me the medical website that you found this information from? I want to read more about it.
um, that's not what i said at all and i'm pretty sure you know that. i said pm me.
EDIT: from my lack of inbox messages, I can only assume you aren't serious and are just trolling.
It doesn't get any better from this point, unfortunately.
Don't listen to this guy. That's not what anyone needs to hear to make them feel better in a crap situation. I can relate so much to your story...Try out Dan's regimen plz!!! It has worked WONDERS for me. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. Yes, I still have a big ol zit on my cheek just begging to be popped, but it's ONLY ONE ZIT. not 20 at a time like I used to have. lol. topical Rx creams have nothing on the regimen.
Listen to him if you like fairy tales.
Actually, Temperatecent, I am a girl. and no, that's not a fairy tail, it's real life and it's definitely achievable with the right treatment/mindset. Perhaps it is you who is in a fairy tail world of misery. Maybe if you pulled your head out of your ass you can see that not everybody can cope with their problems with negativity. Pray tell me, does your pessimism help you cope with your acne?
Why did you refer to me as a "guy", Jack? How do you know my gender? Can you show me some proven techniques to get rid of acne forever? The right "mindset" will do nothing to help you if your body doesn't respond - there's a woman on this forum in her 30's (who is much more polite than me) who has tried everything at this point and nothing has worked for her acne. She will have it the rest of her life.
Pessimism is irrelevant. I can pretend to be happy about it or angry about it and it won't have any effect on how I look. I used to be naive and figured that I would eventually clear up my acne but after years of failed treatments and thousands of dollars wasted I have realized that there's no hope.
At this point a sex change seems to be the only thing I haven't tried to get rid of acne, but my derm and people on here said that wouldn't work anyway.
lol are you really trying to call me out about referring to you as a guy? I'm pretty sure that you didn't care that much in your first reply. I use that term universally. He's a guy, she's a guy, whatever. I think that pessimism/optimism is absolutely relevant to how you look. those who exude confidence seem to look better on the exterior than those who are too busy wallowing in their own insecure self misery... feel free to pm me if you need further clarification-but I'm not gonna go back and forth with you on this thread...it was created by someone else and this is getting off-topic.
Cool, I didn't know that my acne will clear up just by being less pessimistic. Can you show me the medical website that you found this information from? I want to read more about it.
Be optimistic and not pessimistic. I'm proof of that empirical fact. I cured my acne by having a positive, habitually, obsessive mindset that I would defeat acne. I not only destroyed my acne, but this positive mindset permeated throughout my life in a positive way. I'm now very successful and live a very happy life. This positive mindset I cultivated has transmuted it to success. PM me comrade, I will help you defeat acne forever. Be happy for acne; it is a blessing in disguise.
I agree. Being optimistic can save you from many situations and pull you through, including with acne. It's a very important aspect, but is often overlooked and underrated.
But may I ask how you cured your acne? I'm prolly gonna visit your profile simce I don't expect there will be a hasty response.