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I feel like every day is a CONSTANT battle with my skin. Even after my cystic acne has cleared up after going on birth control, I still feel like it controls me every single day. And it's exhausting.
I still don't have clear skin, although it is better than it used to be. I'm plagued with blackheads, comedones, normal red spots and pustules, not to mention some serious hyperpigmentation. I feel like my life revolves around my skin. If I breakout just before an event I'm looking forward to, it completely ruins it for me. I'm moving in with my bf this weekend and I'm so excited but it's tainted by the fact that I've had a massive outbreak on my chin and I can't exactly hide it with makeup while I'm sweating all over the place carrying boxes.
I constantly obsess - i inspect my skin all day, its what i think about when i wake up and before i got to sleep. If I see a new spot pop up through the day, I can't even concentrate at work wondering how big the thing is growing while I sit at my desk. I'm always researching the next thing I can try to finally feel normal leaving the house without a layer of foundation on.
I'm so tired of this never ending quest for clear skin. It's depressing and consuming me. Sometimes I actually feel like I'm going mad. Does anyone else feel the same?
I think any one who has suffered from moderate to severe acne has experienced this, at least I have.
To me, the first step is getting rid of acne, obviously. If you didn't have acne, there would be nothing to worry about right? What is your current routine like?
The problem is that because getting rid of acne is a process, you can't sit around waiting until acne is gone to resume your normal life. You want to start today.
My belief is that you need to accept your acne and your skin, and just live life in spite of it. You're never going to convince yourself you don't care about how your face looks by simply adopting a mindset. You need to actively live your life regardless of how your skin looks.
It's like facing a fear. If you have a fear of heights you shouldn't just never go to tall buildings or roller coasters again, or try to pretend that you don't actually have a fear of heights. Rather, you should constantly be exposing yourself to your fear.
What you need to do is force yourself into more conversations and social events. This will be very difficult at first, but over time, your subconscious will convince your mind that you truly don't care about how your skin looks.
Again, it won't be easy but it's better than living a life of fear and depression.
Venting is good for the soul, Almost 100% of topics and posts related to psychological causes of acne all over the forum you'll notice a vast wide variety of people expressing their depression the same way you just did, Saying the same exact words, And grieving with the same exhausted mentality because of something they've never had any idea what the extent of the devastation to which it would cause to someone before it impacted them.
I'm not sure anymore if there is a perfect combination of words that can be said to make an acne sufferer or anyone with similar condition feel better, My only response is to be considerate and comforting because these are the only two traits that can be of any use in this kind of situation having suffered of the same dilemma myself ever since my years as a teenager to this day "8 years".
I have suffered with acne since I was 15/16, I am now 25 and have some rolling scarring on my cheeks.
Having said that, in the past few years, it hasn't felt like I was going mad.
I only realized recently, that I WAS mad, when I passed up on opportunities in the past few years because of acne scarring. Women, events, vacations, going out with friends, etc., I was on auto pilot, not thinking about how regretful I'd be when I passed up on a date with that beautiful girl that was hitting on me at work, because of the condition of my skin. Seeing my favourite DJ come to my city all the way from Melbourne, Australia, etc.
My point is, I think we all feel like we're going mad, but in reality, it's our skin condition that puts that in our head. Unfortunately, it's not easy for some of us to accept our selves the way we are, so we end up obsessing once we wake up and again once before we fall asleep. The cycle makes it seem like we're going crazy.
The Definition of Insanity: The repetitive act of doing, saying or thinking the same thing, expecting there to be a different outcome.
Being repetitive in this struggle is what makes us think we're going insane.
Have I ever told you the definition of insanity?