I completely understand your feeling. I myself have been going through the same. Some days are good when i feel stupid about mourning over acne and other days are just me accepting my situation is hopeless, all the other days in the middle are the ones where i have turned myself into a robot and shut down all my feeling.Just doing what is needs to be done to carry on my life mechanically.

My recent hobby of writing helps me get through difficult days. I hope things get better for you, cause they will, i am sure.

Btw, you don,t even look so bad.

Anyways, best of luck.

Random comment-- but you're not ugly. You have a very masculine almost Roman-esque kind of face. As a female, I would probably ignore the skin issue and just assume it was your testosterone finding a way to get out and be free...

Since you have it on so many parts of your body, I'm surprised you haven't been prescribed Accutane. I've been on it two times. During both treatments, the red marks ended up going away. Luckily I had no bad side effects from it. The second round seemed more effective than the first. I've had the post-inflammatory hyper pigmentation-- it takes a few months to go away. Keep abiding by your current routine, and keep a record of it if you are seeking help from a physician. Make sure to let he/she know if it's not working.

Personally, sunlight doesn't help me since my skin burns quickly, but perhaps more sunlight might help with your skin (?). If you live in a cloudy/rainy area, you probably don't get a lot of sun exposure. When I was in my late teens and early twenties, using a tanning bed for five minutes sometimes helped. I kept it to a minimum, especially if I was on antibiotics, but it helped fade some red marks.

Thanks for the comments/advice, only just seen these two comments.

Good luck to both of you.

Just want to let you know that I am about to reach a month of taking Lymecycline and my skin is the best it has been in years, 90% of it has cleared up and it is just a case of waiting for red marks to fade.

I have deleted the photos, figure instead that I will just do a before and after on here when I am done with the 8 weeks.

Since you have it on so many parts of your body, I'm surprised you haven't been prescribed Accutane. I've been on it two times. During both treatments, the red marks ended up going away. Luckily I had no bad side effects from it. The second round seemed more effective than the first. I've had the post-inflammatory hyper pigmentation-- it takes a few months to go away. Keep abiding by your current routine, and keep a record of it if you are seeking help from a physician. Make sure to let he/she know if it's not working.

Are you happy that you went on Accutane? I'm considering talking to my new derm about it since I have been on antibiotics on and off for about 5 years and nothing has worked. I just want to know if your skin will be really red the whole time while on Accutane because I have to interact with a lot of people at work?

Something my mum just said upset me.

We were discussing the next steps in my journey (either stay on antibiotics or come off them and try and maintain what I have with a retinoid cream).

She basically said "you're going to have to make a choice between living with acne or stay on antibiotics and hope that they can keep you clear when you finish them".

It got me thinking:

1) Is this the extent of our lives as sufferers, either spend years using treatments which do other damage to our bodies or live with acne?

2) The way she said "live with acne" like it is no big deal really reinstated the fact that no one can possibly understand what we feel apart from fellow sufferers.

It's all very depressing, knowing that in my immediate world, I have to deal with this alone because although I have plenty of good friends/family they can't ever understand.

I'm not sure I can deal with coming off these pills. The last month has been great, seeing it improve day by day and my confidence growing. I have had like 2 or 3 proper spots this whole month (I don't count the tiny whiteheads/blackheads, they don't even register).

I've learnt a lot this month, that 1) there are some things that can help my skin, 2) how much happier and more social I am when I don't even have to think about my skin on a daily basis, and 3) how scared I am about finishing my course next month.

I know that if I breakout again, antibiotic treatments will probably help me, but when you get a taste of (as much as possible) clear skin, the thought of going back to square one is incredibly scary.

Will keep people updated when I finish and any further developments either positive or negative and will probably take a picture at the end of this month.

Hi, my names Ollie and I'm from England. This is my first post on here (although I have been a long time browser) so please be friendly!

I woke up this morning and had one of those reflective moments while looking in the mirror where I just felt thoroughly miserable about the condition of my skin. I have been suffering with acne for about 5 years now and it just isn't getting better, in fact I think it is getting worse. I would say my skin is moderate/severe although it has alternated between all three stages since I started getting it. At the moment though, it is pretty bad and I would say borderline moderate/severe but then again, I don't really know how to classify it.

I'm so fed up of having to deal with this problem, I mean I actually feel physically tired. It plays a part in everything I do and has ruined so many days of my life over the last few years. For example, the other week I went to a gig with my best mate to watch one of my favourite bands, the Arctic Monkeys. That should have been one of the better days of my life, yet I found myself spending 75% of the day worrying about the I looked, wondering how a day out in the sun drinking would affect my acne and comparing my skin to my mate who like most other people I know, has perfect or near perfect skin. Heck, I can't even go to get a haircut without worrying about seeing my skin close up in the mirror.

I find myself having everything and nothing in life. I have nice friends, I have a comfortable life, I'm at university etc etc yet it all seems utterly worthless when you have acne. I know it is the wrong way to look at it and that I should be grateful for what I have but when you are constantly reminded every time you see a reflection of yourself of how ugly you look and your self esteem completely shattered, it's incredibly difficult. I've lost pretty much all my hope that better days are coming, 5 years of this crap has taken its toll on me and it has changed me horribly as a person. I feel like without acne, I would be a better person, I'd be less moody, more helpful etc and I want to be those things so badly; I try so hard to be a good person yet I feel like it is all thrown back in my face when I see utterly nasty people with flawless skin.

I have only ever talked about my skin to my mum and dad and that is only when they bring it up and point out my spots. I know they are only trying to help but when they start dishing out useless advice and blaming me for the way my skin is, it's hard to take. Harder still when you know it isn't genetics because I am the only one in the family that has ever suffered, with my sister, mum and dad all having great skin. None of them know my true thoughts on the matter, and what acne has really done to me physically and psychologically. I don't think they would understand even if I told them because you really have had to of gone through it to know what it does to you.

It is only recently, I have been able to come to terms with how ugly I am. I suffered a severe breakout a month ago and more or less shut myself away from the world and refused to get anywhere near a mirror but recently I've decided that there is no point living in denial and that I may as well look at myself close up (after all it is there whether I choose to acknowledge it or not) which brings me to the point of hopelessness I feel, now that I have realised the extent of my problem and all the red marks, scars and active spots which dominate my face. I know it's pathetic but as well as my usual anger, I cried this morning, it's all just gotten too much recently and it's getting more and more difficult to deal with.

I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone, not even those that have teased me about my problem in the past. It's horrible and scary how something which isn't life threatening can come over you and completely change the way you live your life whether you try to forget about it or not. Even if by some luck my acne disappeared tomorrow, I would still be left with a year of waiting for red marks to fade, permanently left with scarring and psychologically I would have the knowledge that 5 years of my life have been wasted and that it will take me years to regain any confidence in my looks. It really isn't fair.

Thanks if you took the time to read this, I really appreciate it. There isn't really a point to this post and I'm sure you have heard it all before a million times over but I guess I just want to know that I am not alone *sigh*.

Hello Ollie,

I'm from the United States. You're definitely not alone. Acne plagues people from ALL over the world. It's a very difficult disease to cope with because it affects our appearance and not only do we have to deal with the acne when it's inflamed but the scars afterwards. Thank you for sharing your story as I'm sure it was very difficult. I have known of this website for a while but it wasn't until today that I finally posted my own story to it. I know it sounds cheesy, but getting your story out there is a form of acceptance and you're already on a brighter path towards healing from all of this. The physical healing takes time of course, but the emotional and psychological healing has started once we accept our condition and join a support group like what this website offers to us.

I know you feel defeated and tired. I feel the same way many times. It sucks when people say, "just be happy with what you have" or "focus on your good qualities" because while that's true, it's not easy to do! You will have good days and bad days. I think I'm personally having a down day because I felt the need to finally join this support group. I work as a cashier at a grocery store and I'm constantly anxious of people looking at my face and wondering what they're thinking. And you're 19, but over time (it's part of growing up) you will begin to realize that people's opinions don't matter as much as when you were younger. Because when we're younger we want to fit in and we fear being on our own. But when you're older you begin to feel more independent and you worry about yourself. I'm 24 and I've had acne since I was 10 years old. I've been dealing with ups and downs with my acne for 14 years! It absolutely sucks. And I don't mean to say you will have acne into your 30s because that's not necessarily true! So don't worry about that. I just mentioned my age because I'm just letting you know that a lot of us have been dealing with this for years, that's why we're here sharing our story.

It's really disturbing that you mentioned your parents blaming you for your acne. That's totally untrue and please don't listen to them. My dad had some acne and my grandma had cysts, but my brother and I have moderate to severe acne, and no one else does. And I don't blame him or I for our acne situation. We have been told by our doctors that it's genetic and while your family may not have acne, your acne situation most likely is genetic or hormonally related. Even if your parents had acne in their teens, and then you get acne, then it's genetic.

And please don't call yourself ugly. The acne is just a disease, it doesn't define your attractiveness. I know you're feeling self-conscious, but you're not ugly. The ACNE is ugly, not you. It's very important to try to think positively of yourself. Hang in there, Ollie.. And we're all here for you.

-Kim

Since you have it on so many parts of your body, I'm surprised you haven't been prescribed Accutane. I've been on it two times. During both treatments, the red marks ended up going away. Luckily I had no bad side effects from it. The second round seemed more effective than the first. I've had the post-inflammatory hyper pigmentation-- it takes a few months to go away. Keep abiding by your current routine, and keep a record of it if you are seeking help from a physician. Make sure to let he/she know if it's not working.

Are you happy that you went on Accutane? I'm considering talking to my new derm about it since I have been on antibiotics on and off for about 5 years and nothing has worked. I just want to know if your skin will be really red the whole time while on Accutane because I have to interact with a lot of people at work?

My skin was a little red at times, but not so bad that I felt self-conscious. I just loaded up on moisturizer.

It wasn't foolproof for me, I took Accutane twice. I think because I'm a small female, the two dermatologists who prescribed Accutane for me kept the dosage at the low end. However, I'm glad I did take it, since other people in my family have adult acne and I know my skin would be worse off by now if I hadn't had those "acne vacations". The initial breakout never happened to me. The worse side effect was having chapped lips, but the dermatologist prescribed an ointment for that.

That already looks a lot better