Thank you SO much for this perspective. I take care of myself and do work to put my best foot forward whether I am breaking out or not, and as you point out that has really seemed to help my confidence overall. Even my crappiest days, I make sure to dress up a bit, throw some earrings on, cover my spots and put a smile on. No one notices our flaws as much as we do. I think it's hard when you first start a relationship you want things to be "perfect" when in actuallity nothing in life is perfect. The biggest struggle I have had is that he holds me so highly, he always says your perfect, and I feel like I let him down. I tell him I am perfectly imperfect lol Ugghhh acne is such a b!otch isn't it. I appreciate your well wishes and do believe this treatment is working well, just have to have more patience and work on my relationship, confidence and self esteem alongside this journey.
I think that physical attraction is undeniably important - especially for relationships - but it isn't the only thing that matters and your skin isn't the be-all and end-all of your attractiveness. Do you take care of yourself? How is your hygiene? Are you a healthy weight? Are you physically fit? Do you dress/smell nicely? Good haircut? Do you have hobbies and interests? Are you fun to talk to? Do you like yourself? Those are all things that we (usually) have some control over. To me, showing that you care about how you present yourself and that you take pride in yourself is important and if people do, then they'll usually be very attractive.
I wanted to jump in on this thread and ask your advice, thoughts. I started dating someone about 3 months ago and my skin was fairly clear say for one or two blemishes. They became persistent and I started treatment on Spiro and Doxy about 2 months ago which caused an annoying IB, my skin texture has changed and dealing with the purging stage. I feel really self concious about it, I see him about 1-2 times a week and so far the days that I have seen him either things are calmer or can be easily covered. I have avoided sleepovers because of this. What would you think about a girl you were dating who started to have some breakouts? Would you/have you noticed? Would it change your feelings/thoughts about her? It will probably be at least another month or so before I can tell if this is all working to completely clear me or get me on the road. Am I being too self concious and narcissistic about this....sigh
I don't know if it helps, but as a female, if I was dating a guy and he started breaking out, I would probably notice. But I really wouldn't care. I think it's expected most people have some level of skin problems. I hope the Spio and Doxy works out for you!
You're welcome.
I think it's a certain type of confidence nearly. Putting yourself into situations where you can meet more people. This is something I need to work on.
Because maybe it's just about meeting more men/ women? Think about how many new people, men or women, you'd meet in a week or a month etc... if the current men/women you know aren't interested in a relationship, it doesn't mean no-one on the planet would want a relationship with you. The more people you meet, the more chances of meeting someone that it could work with.
Just a thought though
I am the shy / quiet type in general. I do find it hard to start off a conversation with guys, mainly if I don't know them. But I'm fine if they start the conversation. I know it's weird.
I would say part of why I'm not in a relationship and haven't been in one is I'm not in situations where I'm meeting guys, or making myself socialise with them. I've started a masters degree / studying for a career in an area that's female dominated. There's only 25 or so students in the masters cohort and of that, there's one male student. And my uni hours are long. I don't get the chance to see people outside of my cohort much. So even being at a huge university with loads of people walking around all the time, I don't have the chance to meet any guys. And I don't know when / how / where I would be able to meet men unless it happened by complete chance
I too think that confidence and social skills play a bigger part in attracting the opposite sex than your complexion. Take me for example....I'm lucky enough in the last few weeks or so to have finally got clear skin after 5 or 6 years of mild/moderate acne but I still have zero confidence around girls - mainly because I still don't feel attractive. I'm also very quiet, and to be blunt, would be considered a bit socially awkward. Despite my clear skin I know that I still don't have a hope in hell of attracting any girls because who would want to go out with a shy, slightly awkward guy with low self esteem......
The fact is if you don't work on your self esteem as well as your acne, when you do finally get clear chances are you'll find something else about your appearance to worry about. If you try and work on yourself esteem now and push yourself to meet new people/be more social you'll be much more likely to meet someone. People aren't anywhere near as critical about our skin as we are but they will quickly notice if you've got no confidence or self esteem.
Something I need to work on obviously.
I think it's a certain type of confidence nearly. Putting yourself into situations where you can meet more people. This is something I need to work on.
Because maybe it's just about meeting more men/ women? Think about how many new people, men or women, you'd meet in a week or a month etc... if the current men/women you know aren't interested in a relationship, it doesn't mean no-one on the planet would want a relationship with you. The more people you meet, the more chances of meeting someone that it could work with.
Just a thought though
I am the shy / quiet type in general. I do find it hard to start off a conversation with guys, mainly if I don't know them. But I'm fine if they start the conversation. I know it's weird.
I would say part of why I'm not in a relationship and haven't been in one is I'm not in situations where I'm meeting guys, or making myself socialise with them. I've started a masters degree / studying for a career in an area that's female dominated. There's only 25 or so students in the masters cohort and of that, there's one male student. And my uni hours are long. I don't get the chance to see people outside of my cohort much. So even being at a huge university with loads of people walking around all the time, I don't have the chance to meet any guys. And I don't know when / how / where I would be able to meet men unless it happened by complete chance
Maybe you should try datingsites or sites where you can just meet people.
I too think that confidence and social skills play a bigger part in attracting the opposite sex than your complexion. Take me for example....I'm lucky enough in the last few weeks or so to have finally got clear skin after 5 or 6 years of mild/moderate acne but I still have zero confidence around girls - mainly because I still don't feel attractive. I'm also very quiet, and to be blunt, would be considered a bit socially awkward. Despite my clear skin I know that I still don't have a hope in hell of attracting any girls because who would want to go out with a shy, slightly awkward guy with low self esteem......
The fact is if you don't work on your self esteem as well as your acne, when you do finally get clear chances are you'll find something else about your appearance to worry about. If you try and work on yourself esteem now and push yourself to meet new people/be more social you'll be much more likely to meet someone. People aren't anywhere near as critical about our skin as we are but they will quickly notice if you've got no confidence or self esteem.
Something I need to work on obviously.
How do you know such things if you don't talk to them?
>I too think that confidence and social skills play a bigger part in attracting the opposite sex than your complexion. Take me for example....I'm lucky enough in the last few weeks or so to have finally got clear skin after 5 or 6 years of mild/moderate acne but I still have zero confidence around girls - mainly because I still don't feel attractive. I'm also very quiet, and to be blunt, would be considered a bit socially awkward. Despite my clear skin I know that I still don't have a hope in hell of attracting any girls because who would want to go out with a shy, slightly awkward guy with low self esteem......
The fact is if you don't work on your self esteem as well as your acne, when you do finally get clear chances are you'll find something else about your appearance to worry about. If you try and work on yourself esteem now and push yourself to meet new people/be more social you'll be much more likely to meet someone. People aren't anywhere near as critical about our skin as we are but they will quickly notice if you've got no confidence or self esteem.
Something I need to work on obviously.
How do you know such things if you don't talk to them?
I don't claim to know anything for certain, it's just my opinion after a lot pondering over the years and reading a lot of forums on here. It's not hard to link low self esteem/shyness to difficulties with the opposite sex and through my own experience it's easy to still let your low self esteem control you even after getting clear skin.
>I too think that confidence and social skills play a bigger part in attracting the opposite sex than your complexion. Take me for example....I'm lucky enough in the last few weeks or so to have finally got clear skin after 5 or 6 years of mild/moderate acne but I still have zero confidence around girls - mainly because I still don't feel attractive. I'm also very quiet, and to be blunt, would be considered a bit socially awkward. Despite my clear skin I know that I still don't have a hope in hell of attracting any girls because who would want to go out with a shy, slightly awkward guy with low self esteem......
The fact is if you don't work on your self esteem as well as your acne, when you do finally get clear chances are you'll find something else about your appearance to worry about. If you try and work on yourself esteem now and push yourself to meet new people/be more social you'll be much more likely to meet someone. People aren't anywhere near as critical about our skin as we are but they will quickly notice if you've got no confidence or self esteem.
Something I need to work on obvi
ously.
How do you know such things if you don't talk to them?
I don't claim to know anything for certain, it's just my opinion after a lot pondering over the years and reading a lot of forums on here. It's not hard to link low self esteem/shyness to difficulties with the opposite sex and through my own experience it's easy to still let your low self esteem control you even after getting clear skin.
You said "the fact is".
The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact
I never really had facial acne, but I had, and still have a little of back acne, it sucks but at least you can cover up, but I cannot even imagine what would like to have facial acne
your face is your identity, is your ego, is everything about you
WHAT. Very wrong there, I have seen so may couples where the guy has acne and the girl has flawless skin or close.
In fact my mom has nice skin and my dad has acne scarring bc he had bad acne, don't know if it was before they met but my mom never mentions his skin or seems to give a crap and I've seen this soooo many times, sorry but what you said sounds a bit shallow
Anyways as for the question I think girls have it just as bad if not worse when it comes to acne and dating . A girl, according to society, has to have soft clear skin to be attractive. But it all comes down to whether or not people are shallow/care a lot about skin
WHAT. Very wrong there, I have seen so may couples where the guy has acne and the girl has flawless skin or close.
In fact my mom has nice skin and my dad has acne scarring bc he had bad acne, don't know if it was before they met but my mom never mentions his skin or seems to give a crap and I've seen this soooo many times, sorry but what you said sounds a bit shallow
Anyways as for the question I think girls have it just as bad if not worse when it comes to acne and dating . A girl, according to society, has to have soft clear skin to be attractive. But it all comes down to whether or not people are shallow/care a lot about skin
People always say that to everything, when in reality, they may have seen 2 or 3 isolated cases, the same thing is said by many people regarding looks
''I always see ugly dudes with hot women, all the time'' ''I always see short guys with tall women'' etc
their always/many, is more like 2 o 3 a year, if that
For one, nobody knows every single person on this planet, therefore, to say ''always'', ''many'' is incorrect
is like saying that east asians are taller than caucasians, just because yao ming is 7'6, is called an anomaly, just because you saw it happen a few times, doesn't make it the norm
no girl likes a man with acne, this is a fact, if given the choice, to choose between 2 versions of the same guy, one with acne and the other one without, she would obviously pick the no acne version, any person who says, he or she would pick the acne one, is a hypocrite, and obviously biased
having clear skin, is a sign of having good genes, and health, which is what all human beings subconsciously are attracted to, we all want the best genes possible for out offspring, this is why men and women, feel attracted to good looking people, this is why good looking are put on a pedestal in society, because we realize it takes good genes and health, to look like that, we admire them, we treat them better than the rest, without even realizing it, we learn this since we are little kids, you cannot escape it, even if you despise the good looking people, you will still subconsciously put them on a pedestal, and think highly of them, simply based on their looks
This is why people who have acne, especially facial acne, suffer a lot, and want so badly to cure it, because they realize deep down, that having acne, is a sign of having bad genes, this is why you are ashamed of having acne, this is why you are embarrassed that people see your facial acne, because you know they are gonna think less of you, and why would they think less of you?
because is a sign of bad genes
why would all acne sufferers, feel so embarrassed of their acne, and want to cure it so bad, is not a disease, and you're not gonna die from it, is simply cosmetic, which proves my point, that all human care a lot about looks, otherwise, you wouldn't be so concerned with your acne
i think this has to do with the underdevelopment of the human spirit. in it's absence, people are just apes, and like any animal or plant, natural selection governs 100%. people distrust or are unaware of the human spirit so medicine or even education is not a real option.. people value just genes.
but this is interesting because such people would value "native" IQ the most (since it's considered to give the most power -over other people), and the beauty would be a technique perfected by women, because it gives power over a powerful man ..which is unbelievably beneficial (than to work your way up like a normal person). the thing is, people have limited attention which practically turns attraction into a magic show. so these girls have to be magicians also not just be beautiful. think of striptease, where the teasing is the actual show.
i think this limited attention is the key for acne sufferers trying to adapt socially because it makes acne ..invisible.
but this all plays with the animal part in us. humanity (or the human spirit as i call it), if we ever reach it lol, actually helps the unhealthy individuals (this contradicts natural selection), people make less children, which is less "fuel" for natural selection(but less pain for individuals), adoption which is again a nonsense by nature 1.0 laws. but this human spirit seems to be of higher order, just like life is just chemistry but of a higher order. healthy genes would not be so important because medicine would be efective enough in fixing health issues. also intelligence would be considered a result of education and not genes, the human individual itself is a nonsense because he would be considered an assembly of other people's thoughts&actions, so genes fade more and more. but at the point where the humanity limit is reached, things go by nature1.0's rules (which is kind of a pain for the most part).
WHAT. Very wrong there, I have seen so may couples where the guy has acne and the girl has flawless skin or close.
In fact my mom has nice skin and my dad has acne scarring bc he had bad acne, don't know if it was before they met but my mom never mentions his skin or seems to give a crap and I've seen this soooo many times, sorry but what you said sounds a bit shallow
Anyways as for the question I think girls have it just as bad if not worse when it comes to acne and dating . A girl, according to society, has to have soft clear skin to be attractive. But it all comes down to whether or not people are shallow/care a lot about skin
People always say that to everything, when in reality, they may have seen 2 or 3 isolated cases, the same thing is said by many people regarding looks
''I always see ugly dudes with hot women, all the time'' ''I always see short guys with tall women'' etc
their always/many, is more like 2 o 3 a year, if that
For one, nobody knows every single person on this planet, therefore, to say ''always'', ''many'' is incorrect
is like saying that east asians are taller than caucasians, just because yao ming is 7'6, is called an anomaly, just because you saw it happen a few times, doesn't make it the norm
no girl likes a man with acne, this is a fact, if given the choice, to choose between 2 versions of the same guy, one with acne and the other one without, she would obviously pick the no acne version, any person who says, he or she would pick the acne one, is a hypocrite, and obviously biased
having clear skin, is a sign of having good genes, and health, which is what all human beings subconsciously are attracted to, we all want the best genes possible for out offspring, this is why men and women, feel attracted to good looking people, this is why good looking are put on a pedestal in society, because we realize it takes good genes and health, to look like that, we admire them, we treat them better than the rest, without even realizing it, we learn this since we are little kids, you cannot escape it, even if you despise the good looking people, you will still subconsciously put them on a pedestal, and think highly of them, simply based on their looks
This is why people who have acne, especially facial acne, suffer a lot, and want so badly to cure it, because they realize deep down, that having acne, is a sign of having bad genes, this is why you are ashamed of having acne, this is why you are embarrassed that people see your facial acne, because you know they are gonna think less of you, and why would they think less of you?
because is a sign of bad genes
why would all acne sufferers, feel so embarrassed of their acne, and want to cure it so bad, is not a disease, and you're not gonna die from it, is simply cosmetic, which proves my point, that all human care a lot about looks, otherwise, you wouldn't be so concerned with your acne
Acne isn't the norm either. We can't help that we don't see millions of acne people with girl- and boyfriends every day. I have seen several though and you can't say that it isn't true, because you don't know me.
Acne isn't the norm either. We can't help that we don't see millions of acne people with girl- and boyfriends every day. I have seen several though and you can't say that it isn't true, because you don't know me.
lol
I never said it doesn't happen, but they are rare cases, just because you saw it happen a few times in your short lifetime, and in your particular country, state, city, doesn't make it the norm for the rest of millions around the whole world, then again, you are biased, still nobody can really disprove my point about the reason for everyone being ashamed of having acne, is not a disease, is simply cosmetic, so why is everyone so ashamed, depressed, suicidal, about such insignificant cosmetic things, simple, not because of the pimples themselves, but because of what they represents, is a sign of having bad genes
Everyone develops a few pimples in their lifetimes, but I'm referring to real acne, the one that people on this site have, do an experiment, go to a mall, and tell me how many people you find, that have acne as bad as the average person on this forum, maybe 1 ?
Then, you will see why people are so ashamed of such insignificant cosmetic problem
The reality is that no girls likes a man with acne, this is a fact
Acne isn't the norm either. We can't help that we don't see millions of acne people with girl- and boyfriends every day. I have seen several though and you can't say that it isn't true, because you don't know me.
lol
I never said it doesn't happen
So, how are you going to get out of this predicament you have put yourself in?
I am going to help you a little bit: It is okay to say that you were wrong.
So, how are you going to get out of this predicament you have put yourself in?
I am going to help you a little bit: It is okay to say that you were wrong.
Attraction is very important, we all judge people based on their looks, especially people of the opposite sex, no woman will feel physically attracted to a man who has a face full of acne, that doesn't mean that after meeting him, she may not fall in love with his personality, how he treats her, chemistry, etc, it can happen, and it has happened
You are confusing attraction with a romantic relationship, when I said, that no girl likes a man with acne, I'm referring to physical attraction, why would someone feel physically attracted to a person who has a face full of acne, nly after meeting them, maybe something may spark, and there could be a romantic relationship, why are all acne sufferers so ashamed of their acne? why many even live depressed and even commit suicide over something cosmetic? because they all know that looks are very important, we live in a superficial society
Do you really think a man would feel attracted to a woman who has acne ?
Then again, many people's opinions on this site, are clearly biased since they have acne themselves
So, how are you going to get out of this predicament you have put yourself in?
I am going to help you a little bit: It is okay to say that you were wrong.
Attraction is very important, we all judge people based on their looks, especially people of the opposite sex, no woman will feel physically attracted to a man who has a face full of acne, that doesn't mean that after meeting him, she may not fall in love with his personality, how he treats her, chemistry, etc, it can happen, and it has happened
You are confusing attraction with a romantic relationship, when I said, that no girl likes a man with acne, I'm referring to physical attraction, why would someone feel physically attracted to a person who has a face full of acne, nly after meeting them, maybe something may spark, and there could be a romantic relationship, why are all acne sufferers so ashamed of their acne? why many even live depressed and even commit suicide over something cosmetic? because they all know that looks are very important, we live in a superficial society
Do you really think a man would feel attracted to a woman who has acne ?
Then again, many people's opinions on this site, are clearly biased since they have acne themselves
I have no idea what other people think about acne, because in the real world no one ever comments on my looks.
Hey you guys!! Let's pick up some girls lmao
Let's have a meet up this Saturday (3/1/14)@ Lehigh Valley Mall (Address: 250 Lehigh Valley Mall, Whitehall, PA 18052)
2:00pm
Anyone who lives around the area come thru and let's all have an attempt to pick up some girls.
Lmao idk where you guys are from but probably nobody would show up but hey it's worth a try.
Anyone down???lol
VIrtually every man I've ever met has some minor acne or slight scarring. What makes you see yourself as so Alien? acne is quite common for guys.
Do you expect to have skin like a Korean actress? lol men aren't supposed to have flawless skin anyway, it's a feminine trait.
The average man does not have the horrible scarring and severe acne that I do.
Did I say that? no. If you look closely at most men you will always notice some non-inflammatory acne, enlarged pores and at times slight scarring on their skin. However severely nodular acne and boxcut or rolling scaring is not of the norm I agree. But on average most men DO have imperfect skin.
Hey you guys!! Let's pick up some girls lmao
Let's have a meet up this Saturday (3/1/14)@ Lehigh Valley Mall (Address: 250 Lehigh Valley Mall, Whitehall, PA 18052)
2:00pm
Anyone who lives around the area come thru and let's all have an attempt to pick up some girls.
Lmao idk where you guys are from but probably nobody would show up but hey it's worth a try.
Anyone down???lol
If I lived closer I'd be down for this...simply because I think it would be fun and it would be like an adventure just to get out there and make the effort (especially if you have friends supporting you who know exactly how annoying and frustrating life with acne can be)
I'm about 3 hours away from you in WV, lol
Hey you guys!! Let's pick up some girls lmao
Let's have a meet up this Saturday (3/1/14)@ Lehigh Valley Mall (Address: 250 Lehigh Valley Mall, Whitehall, PA 18052)
2:00pm
Anyone who lives around the area come thru and let's all have an attempt to pick up some girls.
Lmao idk where you guys are from but probably nobody would show up but hey it's worth a try.
Anyone down???lol
If I lived closer I'd be down for this...simply because I think it would be fun and it would be like an adventure just to get out there and make the effort (especially if you have friends supporting you who know exactly how annoying and frustrating life with acne can be)
I'm about 3 hours away from you in WV, lol
Lol bro thanks i know you would come.
Hey Guys!!! tomorrow someone tell me they are near the area
I'm trying to pick up chicks, need a wing man.
Saturday (3/1/14)@ Lehigh Valley Mall (Address: 250 Lehigh Valley Mall, Whitehall, PA 18052)
2:00pm by the chick-fil-a right across barnes and noble
Also bring your own money for chick-fil-a..
WHAT. Very wrong there, I have seen so may couples where the guy has acne and the girl has flawless skin or close.
In fact my mom has nice skin and my dad has acne scarring bc he had bad acne, don't know if it was before they met but my mom never mentions his skin or seems to give a crap and I've seen this soooo many times, sorry but what you said sounds a bit shallow
Anyways as for the question I think girls have it just as bad if not worse when it comes to acne and dating . A girl, according to society, has to have soft clear skin to be attractive. But it all comes down to whether or not people are shallow/care a lot about skin
People always say that to everything, when in reality, they may have seen 2 or 3 isolated cases, the same thing is said by many people regarding looks
''I always see ugly dudes with hot women, all the time'' ''I always see short guys with tall women'' etc
their always/many, is more like 2 o 3 a year, if that
For one, nobody knows every single person on this planet, therefore, to say ''always'', ''many'' is incorrect
is like saying that east asians are taller than caucasians, just because yao ming is 7'6, is called an anomaly, just because you saw it happen a few times, doesn't make it the norm
no girl likes a man with acne, this is a fact, if given the choice, to choose between 2 versions of the same guy, one with acne and the other one without, she would obviously pick the no acne version, any person who says, he or she would pick the acne one, is a hypocrite, and obviously biased
having clear skin, is a sign of having good genes, and health, which is what all human beings subconsciously are attracted to, we all want the best genes possible for out offspring, this is why men and women, feel attracted to good looking people, this is why good looking are put on a pedestal in society, because we realize it takes good genes and health, to look like that, we admire them, we treat them better than the rest, without even realizing it, we learn this since we are little kids, you cannot escape it, even if you despise the good looking people, you will still subconsciously put them on a pedestal, and think highly of them, simply based on their looks
This is why people who have acne, especially facial acne, suffer a lot, and want so badly to cure it, because they realize deep down, that having acne, is a sign of having bad genes, this is why you are ashamed of having acne, this is why you are embarrassed that people see your facial acne, because you know they are gonna think less of you, and why would they think less of you?
because is a sign of bad genes
why would all acne sufferers, feel so embarrassed of their acne, and want to cure it so bad, is not a disease, and you're not gonna die from it, is simply cosmetic, which proves my point, that all human care a lot about looks, otherwise, you wouldn't be so concerned with your acne
well it's clear we don't think alike and I'm thankful for that 
Doing a meet up for people on these boards would be both weird and fun I think
We need to learn that acne doesn't define us. We need to focus on creating a life for ourselves that women would want to partner with us in. It sucks that we have acne, and there are days that I think that is all anyone notices about me, but we need to be confident in who we are as men. If we don't practice self-confidence and having a high self-esteem now, it's going to be that much harder to get it back once we are acne free. Besides, if we are self-confident and secure with ourselves when we have acne, think of how much stronger we will be when we are acne-free!
But I like what I read in another post above: unless we plan on being a man-whore, then we only need that one girl that is perfect for us, and who will love us for more than our complexion. And I truly believe there is a girl out there for everyone, no matter how severe your acne is.