Just in that mood that I have to vent/rant a bit. Its a long post. Due to Having a hard time with the challenges that bad acne bring into life. Reads and/or respondsare truly appreciated...

.its hard to be be positive and stay positive when u are surrounded by acne-free people so much. They have what u want, and its not entirely in your control, its not like u can just clear up out of nowhere.

People stare, its so annoying, like hey im a person just like you. Cant stand society sometimes. At my job its like I'm this fake happy guy. Meanwhile on this inside I'm this insecure guy that doesn't feel happy with his life and his looks. Alot of workers at my job r females and i just feel out of place at times due to my terrible acne. I dnt feel right at parties, ive been to a few clubs recently and its like im a walking plague or something, because everytime i stir up the courage to talk to a female and try to further it i get shot down.. Im pretty much done trying at this point, just convinced that i'll never be that good looking guy that girls would want. Harsh reality I guess, more and more my dreams of happiness fade. Which is just a sad thing for me because Before I started breaking out (junior high and freshmen year of high school) I was happy, had no worries, plenty of friends and even girls that liked me on different occasions. But since then its been much different. It started with cystic acne jawline breakouts and then on my face, back and shoulder blades. Would pick them cause i didnt onow better. Eventually saw a derm went on accutane, but im left with many bumpy scars and still active acne, in the same areas. I hate it. Pretty much lost all the confidence I ever had. I used to love being social, playing baseball for school and being on the team, but acne and people's ignorance and my altered mind (due to acne) took that away. U need confidence to play and I just feel like I lost it all. I am a firm believer in God and remain faithful and hope and pray that one day things will be all better....

I dont even like being at family parties or large crowds and occasions as much anymore, as I just feel out of place and like a loser. I have one cousin with minimal acne but the rest of my family is clear pretty much. Although I understand everyone in this world has their own problems, Sonme way worse than acne. But noone I know really understands what I go through. If a girl I talked with actually wanted to date or even liked me I'd feel a lil better , maybe even alot. It would definitely help though because it would mean that im attractive to at least someone, inside and out. Yet it remains, Another valentines day, another holiday alone. Never had a girlfriend on valentines day....Just alone, that all too familiar place that I can't shake. Maybe one day, until then its just a sad reality.....if u read this far, Thank you, very much.