I ridicule myself for posting this -- but ultimately it wouldn't hurt to do so. In advance, thanks for reading or sharing comments.
Obviously the issue is acne.. or perhaps it's merely one of the various issues that I might not be consciously familiar with. Regardless, acne does feel like the largest issue. Maybe even the root cause of it all. Yet it all seems ridiculous. There are definitely larger problems one can go through in life, but this feels like it's tearing me down without even giving me a chance to kick and scream. This is psychological I think. It probably all is. I'm young. I turned twenty one just about a month ago and I'm not sure I'm glad I did. I expected this to not be an issue by the time I got to this age. I have suffered from it for so long that I can't even recall when it first began. I have lived it through this far and I will unfortunately continue to do so.
If only it chose to go away. I would lavish at my opportunities with peace of mind-- rather than look upon them as another commencing task to go. If only it somehow just disappear. I can sleep with not a frown, but perhaps maybe even a smile. Acne just ruins my mindset by simply playing a part in it. I do enjoy the solitude that I embrace often; and I do periodically try to have my moments where I can just commit to social activities that I enjoy. Acne is still and always is in my mind however. College has been a struggle for me; Acne was always in my mind then. I tried to have a rather negative outlook on my life while attending college; merely accepting my misery. This outlook helped me get farther, but acne is still in my mind and continuously bringing down my misery even further.
I laugh and cry both at the same time. I have let myself be defeated and every attempt at conquest remains to be futile. I still put on my suit of armor, but it feels like I'm heading towards a carnival rather than battle. I do hope things get better; as there are opportunities to be have upon the next year. I need to exceed and I need to overcome, but will I ever? It still lingers in my mind and I can't make it go away. This is my problem.
It's not necessarily too terrible. It's a strange motivational method. To look at the whole situation as something slightly ludicrous and just to move on with life. A blunt and straight outlook to the problem. Now, it might not necessarily be the best (or healthiest) way to go on with the problem -- but it has helped me get through problematic situations. Considering what I have tried. Several products that I have found at the local pharmaceutical store. Most of the time they seem to work and then... well, they just appear to stop working. I never been to a dermatologist. I don't really take many visits to the doctor unless if it's something important. I suppose that's a mistake. Anybody mind telling me their experience with a dermatologist?
I ridicule myself for posting this -- but ultimately it wouldn't hurt to do so. In advance, thanks for reading or sharing comments.
Obviously the issue is acne.. or perhaps it's merely one of the various issues that I might not be consciously familiar with. Regardless, acne does feel like the largest issue. Maybe even the root cause of it all. Yet it all seems ridiculous. There are definitely larger problems one can go through in life, but this feels like it's tearing me down without even giving me a chance to kick and scream. This is psychological I think. It probably all is. I'm young. I turned twenty one just about a month ago and I'm not sure I'm glad I did. I expected this to not be an issue by the time I got to this age. I have suffered from it for so long that I can't even recall when it first began. I have lived it through this far and I will unfortunately continue to do so.
If only it chose to go away. I would lavish at my opportunities with peace of mind-- rather than look upon them as another commencing task to go. If only it somehow just disappear. I can sleep with not a frown, but perhaps maybe even a smile. Acne just ruins my mindset by simply playing a part in it. I do enjoy the solitude that I embrace often; and I do periodically try to have my moments where I can just commit to social activities that I enjoy. Acne is still and always is in my mind however. College has been a struggle for me; Acne was always in my mind then. I tried to have a rather negative outlook on my life while attending college; merely accepting my misery. This outlook helped me get farther, but acne is still in my mind and continuously bringing down my misery even further.
I laugh and cry both at the same time. I have let myself be defeated and every attempt at conquest remains to be futile. I still put on my suit of armor, but it feels like I'm heading towards a carnival rather than battle. I do hope things get better; as there are opportunities to be have upon the next year. I need to exceed and I need to overcome, but will I ever? It still lingers in my mind and I can't make it go away. This is my problem.
You did a big thing here. Be proud. You are able to identify that yes acne could be the largest issue in your life and its effects be devestating to the pysche. Albiet, you can't even resist as it takes old- screaming kicking fall on deaf ears.
We want it to go away so that life can go on as it usually does and is suppose to. Well your a lucky one like one of us. It doesn't. It makes it hard; a game changer. Because of this all i can say is that you have to be strong and not let it control you in that it prevents you from succeeding in fulifilling your dreams, academically. WHen it comes to social things thats all about first being content with you, loving yourself even in the darkest hour, not giving up, and trying to calm your every critical behavior about yourself. We have flaws. Say it.Then learn to become accepting; but keep on the good fight trying to help your acne and yourself emotionally i.e. talking to someone you can trust or seeking professional help. Being yourself but not hating yourself to prevent acting like someone else helps more than you know. There is always someone watching. That someone could be just as fed up, miserable, scared, unhappy as you... and they could be your secret crush but cannot get themself to talk to you.
I'm just generalizing and rambling so i do appologize and understand if you cannt make sense of my post. I just wish to help the best i can. Your post reminds me of how i felt. The way you worded it makes me wonder if your like my twin...
You definitely should visit a derm., these non prescribed products are of limited success. A doctor has many options for treating acne, much more effective than what you use. Depending on the condition, they usually start with topical antibiotics-benzoyl peroxide, then try topical retinoids and if these don't work, oral treatments. Basically you haven't tried yet the most effective treatments, don't be disappointed, the chances are that you will find something between them that will clear you!
i hope i don't come off preachy, but you are right. there are many other difficult things life could have handed you, but we all know acne isn't just a surface, or aesthetic issue.
as someone who once thought i would never have a day of clear skin..healing your skin, and having success with treatment is just the beginning. just as you have gotten used to your acne, it takes getting used to having skin that doesn't breakout severely, or moderately. it is emotionally, and physically life-changing with more positives, but also sad realities. you get a different kind of attention when your skin starts clearing up depending on the types of people you meet.
anyway, my point is that right now your largest problem may be acne, but don't depend on healing your acne as something that will make your life a million times better. having mild or no acne gives you more confidence to face life, but it doesn't mean life becomes less draining or stressful.
I've realized how much acne has totally destroyed certain chances to greater and funner things in my life.
Want to go to the beach? ....my makeup, it will rub off, my face doesn't look good today enough for that.
Want to go to the zoo on Friday? ...my face looks horrible today, i will say yes if it looks OK by Friday.
Want to go to your first time to a club? ....and have everyone see how gross I am with my acne covered in sweat?..
I'm starting the Regimen tonight, so ... I have very high hopes! 