I definitely know how you feel, and it seems like it never gets any easier. I'm like compelled to check my reflection every half hour or so...just to see if there's any dry skin, if there's any redness, if there's a new blemish..it gets to be such an annoying obsession. My parents tell me the same thing, and I'm always wondering do they tell me this just to be nice and because they love me? I have the same problems with girls too, I've had girls approach me to initiate conversations and I never understand, why don't they see what I see? It's definitely hard...and you picked the perfect word to describe it too...CONFUSING. We have people telling us one thing, parents telling us we look okay, the opposite sex showing attraction to us...but we see ourselves and we just can't see what other people see. It's such a frustrating thing, and I wonder all the time how I'm seen through the eyes of other people. But I think the one thing that can really help is to remember....we're our own worst critics.

We scrutinize our skin, we worry over every little detail, we get ridiculously close to mirrors to see any tiny flaw...but in real life that doesn't happen when we interact with other people. No one is gonna get a centimeter away from our skin and scrutinize it, and no one is gonna take a magnifying glass to our face looking for the slightest issue. In most social settings people barely even notice breakouts in other people...and I think that's the important thing to remember. That's what gives me solace at the end of the day and allows me to interact with people and go to work and all that jazz. Because deep down I know...other people don't see me the way I see myself, and that's a blessing, haha

Hang in there Dreamergirl, I can tell you from an outside perspective that you're a truly beautiful girl even if you don't see that in yourself, and I know how tough it can be to get through these depression periods where skin becomes the only thing on your mind. Just remember you're not alone and there's always light at the end of the tunnel!

me too dude. I am experiencing a lot of the same stuff you are. When I ask people if my scars look bad, they tell me, "I don't see anything". One of my friends told me that he thinks it's all in my head. Another told me that I have to stop this "disillusion", and that my face doesn't look any different to him than it ever did. But they don't ever get up close, or see it in bad lighting, and see the huge pores, and the little scars and indents and nicks and scarred pores that make my face look like a mess when I see it. They act like I'm crazy, but I didn't have anything at all to worry about 2 years ago, and now I have scars and I'm very self conscious and I suffer from poor self esteem caused by traumatic events growing up and it all combines to form a mess. So, I know what you mean. It makes me feel weird having friends tell me that it's all in my head, when clearly it's not. to me, my face looks like crap. but like I said, they don't get right up on it like I do in bad lighting. I feel like when I look at it, I intentionally try to make it look bad to myself by looking at it in the worst lighting possible. why? no idea. in some mirrors, where the light is not directly overhead, I also can barely tell I have scars. It's weird. Honestly, I think you look really pretty even with the acne and stuff. I think it's both physically real, and also in our heads. We need to try and work on both. it's not gonna be easy. Luckily, you're young. there is plenty of time for you. I am also aging quite rapidly at the age of 32 and it's not helping. by the time I get my scars/bumpy texture/crappy looking skin to a point that it's tolerable again, I'll probably be 36 or 37. My time is running out and being social was hard enough as it was due to my already poor self esteem from my childhood. (sucky parents) I am supposed to start training next month to run across the state of Texas next winter to raise money for Boston Marathon victims, and I have to put the whole thing together, and I'm so depressed I just want to lay on the couch in a blanket and read about stuff I can do for my face and watch American Dad. I have lost all motivation. But this is so important to me, I have to find a way to get it done. It's not an easy thing to do, it's a big hard thing and it will take a lot of hard work and I don't feel like it but I've already committed to it and I have a friend involved in it thankfully to help me through it. This is my biggest test of my entire life. Can I do this? I have to put myself aside, I have to put my own pain aside because the things I am going through aren't much compared to what those people are going through. so. I will run across the entire state of Texas next winter with my acne and acne scars. We are planning to take 50 days running 20 miles per day. 10 in the morning and 10 at night. With 5 days of rest. I choose not to be selfish and put my problems before the problems of others. I wish people didn't have to suffer. I hate it. I have suffered my whole life. You aren't alone in suffering. It's okay. It's okay to suffer. We will be okay. I have been making an effort to stay out of the mirrors and it's helping. When I am in a mirror, instead of thinking, god look how bad your skin is, I am trying to point out the good things about myself instead. "you have nice features and a strong looking jaw" I think. I think that's what other people do when they look at you. They notice the good things rather than the bad. It's helping, but I still slip up and convince myself I am ugly sometimes but I'm trying to get over it. The moment I notice something positive that makes me feel better, I get out of the mirror. Trying to leave myself with a positive feeling rather than sitting there until I feel like crap again. Then I go and get busy with something. Idle hands are the devil's playthings. so true. I felt awful this morning. I suffer from a mild case of chronic picking, which has caused a lot of my damage, and the regret from that is doing it's best to destroy me. Regret is an awful thing. hang in there. I am. you too. We'll get through this. whether we get the skin to a point where it doesn't bother us or learn to live with it the way it is, we'll get through it. I pray for both.

I do and think the same thing. I seriously have no clue what the fuck I look like. Each mirror or picture I look different. It's like I have no identity, it seriously fucks with the mind.

You all are amazingly supportive and such beautiful people. I love you all soo much! <3

I do and think the same thing. I seriously have no clue what the fuck I look like. Each mirror or picture I look different. It's like I have no identity, it seriously fucks with the mind.

Same here, bud! It really messes with your mind. Blaaaah

My psychology class actually just started a subject relating to self esteem.

So what's self esteem - it's the difference between "actual self" and "expectation".

The closer of your "expectation" to your "actual self", the higher your esteem will be, and vice versa.

For example, some people would commit suicide because they got a grade less than an "A", that's because they have abnormally high "expectation" to themselves, and they don't know how to cope with it when their "actual self" doesn't fit the "expectation".
And true story, that happens to students in Universities.

So relating this to your concern, your parents say you look good, but you don't think so.

Maybe they are telling the truth, but you don't see it because you are holding a high "expectation" to yourself. (Which isn't a bad thing at all)

Not telling you to lower your standard, but maybe try to take it easy on yourself.

( And I totally believe they are telling the truth, looking at your profile photo it confuses me why wouldn't you think you look gorgeous.)

Just the same as most people would think getting a B or just passing a class would be satisfied enough, why insist on getting an A when you could still feel happy and relaxed with a B.

You're acne is hideous and makes me hate who you are as a person.

Brb not really.

You are downright gorgeous. We do not see what YOU see. The mind likes to f*** with us in that way. I would give up red meat just to hold your hand for a moment.