You have the right to have to your own set of opinions and beliefs . I'd like to go on and respond to your entire argument but I already know our views aren't compatible and that's the beauty of it. 

I respect your views and I'm sure you respected mines enough that you wrote about it. That makes us agree on one thing - that acne shouldn't ruin anyone's life. That we can all agree on. 

Ok embarassd girl. My story kinda relates 2 urs.. D wrst part wzz i wasnt made school head girl, wz nt able 2 go out of ma house, couldnt mk frns, humiliation,etc.... I felt hurted.. Bt mine s a moderate acne though.. I really salute 2 evry1 who s suffering frm acne... It jst mks a prsn's lyf miserable & brks dwn one's confidence 2 go out.. Al i wld recommend s plz plz do as ur dermatologist say, exercise oly lil,use natural skin care lk, drinkplenty of water, & avoid plz avoid diary, junk, oily foods... Plzzzz... B COOL.. JST FOLLOW EM & C D RESULTS IN A MONTH.... jst post if u find it useful...

I feel this so much even though most of what i have now is hyperpigmentation. I can see some of my red marks are slightly indented so im kind of freaking out because i never use to scar and then an IB on birth control and umm ok wtf?
Hoping itll fill itself out over summer... or the next year, it's really shallow. Anyways it consumes me. I don't like going out , i hate the sunlight especially and no one understands. They'll sit in it gracefully looking perfect asking me to come sit there (my bf) and i'll say no thanks. I literally want to move to melbourne or something where its hardly sunny, i have a transfer there but that's just utterly ridiculous to move away because of my self image problems , its a whole other state below me.

Sometimes i think okay this is a test, this is something testing me to bringing me closer to what i really need to be doing with my life more, meditating and exercisisng.

I know my acne has been moderate at worst, but I can't help it I'll admit I'm suicidal over it. I started contemplating going to denmark because euthanasia is there i think thats the country... anyway just ridiculous stuff. I use to be the one that was most outgoing, the one telling the jokes. I would do anything to get my old confidence back and even my old face if i knew it wasn't going to scar.

Sometimes i'll just sit in my room and cry if i study my face for too long, other times it doesn't feel so bad because it doesn't look so bad, and i realise ive been worrying too much for not much. I know have body dysmorphia over it, depression and social anxiety.

I plan on eating healthy over the summer, juicing, exercising and meditating too, to let the time pass and my face to heal, but in the meantime is there anyone that struggled with symptoms like this and got out of it? What did you do?
This post is old i know, but i see some people have still been commenting.

love to you all <3

I used to have acne, acne scars, redness in some areas of my face. For the last three months, I have been using the Somaluxe Amino Acid Face Cleanser and the Lady Soma Renewal Serum after the cleanser. The Renewal Serum has glycolic acid in it. I am sooooooo please with how well these products worked for my acne scars. They are less red, not as aggressive, and the overall look of my face is just healthier

On 9/7/2016 at 8:44 PM, Keerthana said:

Ok embarassd girl. My story kinda relates 2 urs.. D wrst part wzz i wasnt made school head girl, wz nt able 2 go out of ma house, couldnt mk frns, humiliation,etc.... I felt hurted.. Bt mine s a moderate acne though.. I really salute 2 evry1 who s suffering frm acne... It jst mks a prsn's lyf miserable & brks dwn one's confidence 2 go out.. Al i wld recommend s plz plz do as ur dermatologist say, exercise oly lil,use natural skin care lk,  drinkplenty of water, & avoid plz avoid diary, junk, oily foods... Plzzzz... B COOL.. JST FOLLOW EM & C D RESULTS IN A MONTH.... jst post if u find it useful... 

loved your style of writing lol. How lazy can you be for not typing the complete words? 

BT itz rlly kewl typng  like diz

On 2016-06-16 at 2:11 AM, AcneScience said:

I originally wasn't going to answer your views but it really did tug at me of why. Every post I've seen written by you seems as though you want people to feel bad. You want to say that acne isn't curable and we all know it is. That's why we're here. If I couldn't control my psychological stress response, I'd still have debilitating depression and anxiety today. I control my thoughts and my beliefs and that's what determines the integrity of one's emotional stability.

You haven't had my stress or anxiety because you would know that it follows your mindset. It's a ****ing pathetic mindset that you start turning all the tables towards the negative aspects of yourself. I would stress when I'd go in public and I'd stress when someone would talk to me. Today, I no longer feel that way and that's because I chose to stop feeling bad about myself.

If I don't feel good about myself than who will? Nobody cares about you. We all have our own problems to care about. And to answer the rest of the questions, how can't you shift the position? If someone brings up your skin, you just say it's a genetic problem and that you're getting it solved and that it stresses you everyday that you have it. How many people wouldn't feel bad for bringing it up if you said that? Be honest because people like genuine people. Stop going quiet when someone brings it up, be vocal and people will respect you.

What I meant by everyone, I meant most people in the USA has had acne. They've shown statistics that almost 85% of people from the ages of 12-24 have experienced acne at one point. https://www.aad.org/media/stats/conditions . Ok, yes most of them didn't have the shitfaces we had but they had some form of it. They can relate in some way whether it's remedial or not.

What I meant by that wasn't a literal definition; it was figurative. People think that people don't understand and that it's ruined their lives. You don't know how many people had gone through that same phase and people literally want to suicide over acne. Over acne. People have their priorities mixed up. I've been there and I've done that so I sympathize for these people and that's why I'm telling them they're not alone. You can literally talk to anyone here and a lot of our experiences are very similar. So it's not something to be ashamed of. People tend to deal with these problems alone that's why I stated something like that.

I never stated they should feel guilty, on the contrary, I'm saying they should live life to the fullest and never put acne in the way of enjoying life. Acne isn't their fault and that's why I wrote that post to give people strength into understanding that it's a disease that will go. I say that so people can see how remedial the disease is in the big sense of things. Go to a hospital and look at the people suffering and you'll understand that acne isn't a problem anymore. You want to forget it's a problem as I've stated the cycle before and I can show you studies to confirm my views. Acne is a self image problem, the greater the severity, the more emotional instability that person has (depression, quality of life issues, etc).

There's no such thing as an incurable disease. As research and technology progresses, we find new ways to solve problems that we first thought was impossible - like going to the moon. If we put all our money into saying cancer was incurable than we'd get nowhere closer to a cure. There's always hope as clinically the placebo effect has spontaneously cured 'incurable' diseases without conventional medicine intervention (check the medical journals if you think I'm kidding). The point of that is there's hope. Without hope what do you live for? I wouldn't wake up in the morning if there was no hope for me but I do, because I hope one day I can become something I aspired to be - as everyone here aspires to be acne free.

Their is a lot of misinformation on this site, as well as a lot of great information for acne. I never said that people weren't doing the that, but I was advising them to continue on their endeavor and move forward. Don't give up.

I don't now what side you're on. Every post you seemed to have done seems to be disputing what people say. You seem to know the struggles of acne as well as many of us do. But you seem to be on the side that claims that there's no hope for acne and that having acne and living a miserable life is inevitable - and I'm here to tell you it isn't.

I lived my life loathing everyday and looking at my face reminded me of that until one day I said I had enough. From that point, I never looked back and I encourage everyone to do the same, there's hope for your acne and yes you can live a happy life contrary to popular belief. The only thing you have to question is whether you actuallybelievethat or not. And I know deep down every acne sufferer knows this is true.

But again, it's your choice if you want to remain miserable and keep people with you in that bottomless black pit and claim that life doesn't start until acne is off their faces. I chose that it started when I had enough and again I never looked back.

(P.S. If you bring another point up, I'm not going to reply to it as this is my complete view. I don't care if you don't agree with my point. I believe I'm right and my face has shared a similar belief.)

Very interesting and uplifting to read. Thank you for your insightful views

Hey embarrasedgirl
I have had bad sistic acne since seventh grade and feel pretty much the same but for me it physically hurt when i break out. At the end of grade 8 my acne hit the worst its been and i couldnt turn my head because it hurt so bad on my neck. Nobody has looked at me the same since i got acne and my mother assures me on a regular bassis that im handsome but i know that she is obliged to say so. The worste feeling for me is when someone makes a comment on how much it looks painful ( my mom does tgis every time i break out). I get the darkness thing and the okay with dying thing ive been there myself a few times. Most of my waking hours are on my computer in my room in the dark. Every time i look in the mirror i say to myself " i hate acne so much" and walk away. I am typing this as i should be getting caught up for skipping school last friday. The only thing i have found that works sounds insane but its true honey. It has antibacterial properties give it a try and even after one treatment my acne started to clear up.

On 3/17/2013 at 12:49 PM, EmbarassedGirl said:

(For the explanation of the topic itself, skip to the button.)

 

 

Honestly if no one reads this, it's ok. Too long, didn't read for you? It's ok. I don't blame you. I know, it's really long. I just need to get these emotions out. I wanted to do this many times before, but I didn't, and now here I type.

 

History of me and my acne (if uninterested, feel free to skip)

I need to pour all of these emotions out somewhere. I'm tired of locking myself up in my room and screaming silently and crying and hating myself. And I wanna see if anyone else feels the same or is going through the same thing.

 

I never thought that I'd be posting here. A couple months ago, I never even knew that websites like these existed. Why? Let me begin.

 

I used to have a flawless, clear, acne-free face (except for blackheads, but they were barely noticable). I had acne during the 5th grade, but I was young and didn't care that much, and once in 6th grade I don't recall ever having acne (except for once in a while, and the acne would always disappear in a matter of days, and the worst scarring I got went away completely in a month). All the way until 11th grade, I had a clear skin and people would wonder what I was using on my face. Girls were jealous.

 

I used Clean n Clear all those years, and it worked wonders.

 

But then I made the mistake of trying a different acne wash for my face, to try to get rid of my blackheads. Then acne appeared, and I made the mistake of popping one, and it scarred for months. I continued using that different acne wash because it promised to get rid of acne scars, but it just gave me more acne, and the acne scar was still there.

 

So I went to the dermatologist.

 

I was an idiot and freaked out when the medication made me break out, even though the dermatologist already told me that it'd get worse before getting better. I stopped the medication after three weeks and went back to Clean n Clear for a week. Didn't work.

 

Then I switched to another dermatologist, the one that cured my brother of his acne in a matter of one month.

 

And here I am, with the medication causing tiny red bumps ALL OVER MY CHEEKS, even on the places where it'd been clear. I also have rather big brown-ish acne scars, and some more acne appearing. My right cheek is a lot worse than my left. Left cheek used to be almost clear (only a couple acne) before dermatologist came in. Now my left cheek is all covered. My chin is beginning to get affected, already two places scarred (though they're small but noticable).

 

It's been five months now of acne destroying my life. On the fifth month, my skin is at its most terrible condition.

 

 

How acne affected my life

I'm not over-stating it when I say that it completely changed my life and flipped everything upside down. Before, when I used to have clear skin, I used to whine about the smallest of things, get ticked off easily, let the smallest of problems get to me, but now...when I'm dealing with THIS problem of acne, I feel like those problems are NOTHING. I swear to God, if my acne and scars are gone and my face is clear like before, I will never complain about a single thing ever again. I'd live life to the fullest. All I want is this clear skin. If a genie were to pop out of a lamp and ask me what I wanted for myself, I'd say, without any hesitation and no need to think, "CLEAR SKIN."

 

Selfish? Probably. But when my face used to be clear, I loved to help people. So much. When someone needed my help, I'd jump in and help them. But now, I'm afraid. I'm embarassed. With this face, I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm trying my best to screw the acne and help people anyway, but I feel that I'd be more helpful if I just got rid of this stupid acne. I hate myself because of this.

 

If I added up the days that I pretended to be sick from school because I was embarassed of my acne, the days would sum up to at least two weeks.

 

I skipped two meetings with friends that I was sure would of been the time of my life--if only my acne was gone.

 

I can't watch tv shows or movies the same way again. I keep comparing my skin to the actor's flawless ones. And to think that I used to feel uncomfortable whenever seeing an actor with one tiny pimple on their face! Now I just feel thankful and tell myself that they're also human.

 

I can't listen to a love song or story and watch romance stories the same way again, because I feel that I can never experience the same thing if I have this terrible acne.

 

I look at strangers on the streets and compare their skin to mine, feeling good whenever I see skin that's worse than mine. Hating those with clear skin, even though I know that it was not right for me to feel that way. I feel terrible when I do this but I can't help it. I hate myself for it. I look at classmates more intently now, stare at their skin when they're not looking....

 

I USED TO NEVER NOTICE PEOPLE'S ACNE THIS MUCH, OR EVER GAVE MUCH THOUGHT TO THEM WHEN MY SKIN WAS CLEAR. So it's true. People who never or barely had acne DO NOT NOTICE OTHER PEOPLE'S ACNE AT ALL, OR BARELY NOTICE. AND IF THEY NOTICE, THEY SHRUG IT OFF AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THEY DON'T MIND IT.

 

I feel that my dreams are beginning to become pointless. I want to be a film director. I want to be a voice actress. I want to be a novelist. I want to be a comic artist. I actually thought of being an actress one day but no way---not anymore. Not with this face. I want to work for my favorite film directors.

But I feel that I can't. I can't even go anywhere without hating myself. Without hating my face. Without feeling like I'm nothing and feeling ugly compared to other people. And I feel sorry for the people who has to look at my disgusting face. How can I fulfill my dreams with no confidence? I don't want cameras to capture my acne. I used to like getting my picture taken (I wasn't the type of person to take thousands of pictures of themselves tho). Now, for five months, I avoid all cameras unless the picture is taken from a distance or with a low quality camera, where my acne won't be noticed.

 

Am I depressed? Yes. Maybe

 

Now I feel that if I were to drop dead, to have a building crash onto me and only me, I'd be ok with it.

 

School days feel so long now. I always can't wait to go home and hide and not have people look at me.

 

Just as I'm typing this, I'm listening loudly to music with the topic "hating myself". It makes me feel better. I know, I'm so messed up right now.

 

 

Now the question

I want to believe that I can live with my acne, but another part tells me the opposite and sends me to tears. HOW DO I BATTLE THIS?

 

During the 5 months when acne hit me bad, I had good days. I had days when I just forgot about my acne, said to myself "Screw acne, I wanna live my life" and then live my life. Go to school, laugh with friends, do my homework and tests, and have fun, and just enjoy life. When I can't forget about my acne, I keep telling myself "it's ok. It's not actually that bad. I keep blowing it up to proportions. People don't actually mind that much, and maybe they don't even notice it" and I can enjoy life and the blissfullness of it, although that feeling of depression will nag at me once in a while.

 

Besides from these moments, other things have kept me happy. Music. Art. Movies and TV shows (though it hurts when I see those clear faces). Reading, writing. And comedy videos. But the moments when I can reassure myself that my acne is no prob is what really keeps me strong.

 

Now. These momenst are ruined when three things happen. The third is the question of this topic.

 

One: When someone mentions to me how terrible my acne is.

OUCH. It just HURTS. A slap to the face. Geez. My ex-boyfriend went up to me one day and said "Whoa, you have acne now! You look ugly now!"

WHAT THE---SERIOUSLY?

 

A friend told me "Oh look, that burger has bumps on it. Pimples. Just like you."

OUCH---

 

A baby sitter at the school, a dear friend of mine, said, "Ooooh look you've got acne now! What happened?" with a teasing smile on her face.

I THOUGHT GROWN UPS WOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

 

A senior at school, "Pimples on your face. You didn't wash your face, huh?"

I WASH MY FACE EVERY DAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

 

An old friend who I didn't meet in some time. "Why do you have so many pimples now?!" Right on front of so many people.

 

DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS.

 

And then I'm reminded, oh. So my pimples ARE noticable. And it bothers people. Ugh. I'm trash. I'm crap. Now what?

 

Note: I don't know the difference with pimples and acne D:

 

 

Two: When I'm in a bright room, where no darkness can hide my acne.

 

It also hurts when I see myself in the mirror while the lighting of the room is good. My acne looks noticable but doesn't look bad in a dark room. Some of the acne looks like it's not even there. But in the light...IT IS TERRIBLE. IT IS DISGUSTING. I HATE IT. Just yesterday, I went to a restaurant where it was very bright and had MIRRORS ON EVERY WALL. I saw myself in the reflection and wanted to hide. My mom was looking at my acne-infested cheeks as she talked to me, and not looking at my eyes. I wanted to cry.

 

But well. It's not like I spend all of my time in the sun. I should be ok at some dark places. I wanna be happy. I wanna enjoy life.

 

 

THREE: When it's myself that tells me that I CAN'T live my life with acne.

 

I want to hang out with my friends and family. I want to follow my dreams. I want to love living. I don't want to be depressed. I don't want to be suicidal.

 

I know two girls at my school who has about the worst case of acne in the school (for the girls, that is), yet they are one of the most popular too. And they look happy, no matter the condition of their skin. (Although one of them would show signs of sadness of her acne, but it's for only a brief moment.) I want to be like them.

 

Then thoughts would appear in my mind.

 

"You're ugly with those acne."

"Don't you feel sorry for people who had to look at your disgusting face? They'll have the image in their heads, scarred for life."

"People are embarassed to be seen with you."

"Everyone's skin is clear. Yours is not. You're ugly."

 

I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE.

 

But how can I when I'm hurting myself mentally?. This medication from the dermatologist, I'm praying will work. It's gotten worse, but I have hopes that it'll be better. I'm giving it four months. If nothing gets better, then I dunno what I'd do.

 

But in the meantime, while I wait for the medication to help, how do I tell myself that it's not that bad? How do I live with myself? How do I defeat that part of me that tells myself that I'm ugly and disgusting? I know that even if my acne is gone, there'll still be scars.

 

But I'm ok with the scars as long as I don't have the terrible face that I have now.

 

 

 

Sigh. Well, I feel better now that I typed up this long shizz of my heart's contents.

 

 

and now....

How I would actually be thankful to have acne

 

I...I would actually be thankful to have acne. Because I learned so many things from it. I would complain less about things. I'd smile all the time, because I went through a lot. Things won't bother me like they did before. My health will be better, cuz I drink more and eat more fruits and vegetables. I exercise more now. I'm more thankful of things now. I won't ever be suicidal and won't be depressed as often as before.

 

 

 

I'd actually be thankful to have acne.

 

But only if I've already gotten rid of the acne and restored my clear face, that is. :')

 

I know, people have it worse than me. At least I'm not blind. At least I have both arms and legs. But still...Come on. I'm sorry. I really know how terrible I sound but I just can't help it. I can't help feel the way I feel I hate myself for it. So much.

 

Sigh.

 

Acne, go away please.

 

 

 

And now...for you all

 

I pray that everyone with skin not to their liking can find happiness, and have clear skin one day, or whatever they wish for that's positive

hey..how are you now..its been a looong time since you posted this..i hope its much much better now..im on the same boat tho.. Except that i am on Accutane so..i dont have much acne but the scars are all deep and horrible

Darling, I understand you more than you can imagine. EVER. Right now I am suffering from this too. It's been some time, I guess the same time you got yours. And it sucks. IT'S A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! The suffering just sucks, especially when you're in a sea of flawless-skinned pretty friends. I'm not saying that I'm jealous, but I wish I could be that way too, now I feel the value it has to have something nice. You don't understand that feeling until it actually happens to you, like both of us over here. I hope it'll go. I mean come on, it won't forever last, will it? I always try to convince myself like that. Everyone around me keeps on telling me to just "ignore it", but that never works..well, I hope you'll heal!! Sorry for replying late!!

We can go through this! Sunshine always after the rain.
 

You CAN be happy with acne. It's all in the mind. Practice positive affirmations twice a day for one month you'll see difference. Acne is shit. I have acne for ten years and I still have and it won't leave but okay I will live with it definitely . It's been ten years you know. But now I will live happy not just live.

4 years late ehhh... I really hope everything is going well with everyone that commented.. I feel exactly the same with everything you say.
its come to a point where Im not being homeschooled because my confidence is so low and my anxiety and depression has increased majorly Ive also lost my best friend because she didnt understand that I didnt want to go out to partys with her which kinda suck because I wish I could but its honestly so horrible to hate yourself with acne and no make and I hate myself even more when I have the makeup on because I love doing my makeup and I always think wow even with makeup I look so ugly.
this post has helped my realise Im not the only one thanks :-/

On 3/17/2013 at 12:49 PM, EmbarassedGirl said:

(For the explanation of the topic itself, skip to the button.)

Honestly if no one reads this, it's ok. Too long, didn't read for you? It's ok. I don't blame you. I know, it's really long. I just need to get these emotions out. I wanted to do this many times before, but I didn't, and now here I type.

History of me and my acne (if uninterested, feel free to skip)

I need to pour all of these emotions out somewhere. I'm tired of locking myself up in my room and screaming silently and crying and hating myself. And I wanna see if anyone else feels the same or is going through the same thing.

I never thought that I'd be posting here. A couple months ago, I never even knew that websites like these existed. Why? Let me begin.

I used to have a flawless, clear, acne-free face (except for blackheads, but they were barely noticable). I had acne during the 5th grade, but I was young and didn't care that much, and once in 6th grade I don't recall ever having acne (except for once in a while, and the acne would always disappear in a matter of days, and the worst scarring I got went away completely in a month). All the way until 11th grade, I had a clear skin and people would wonder what I was using on my face. Girls were jealous.

I used Clean n Clear all those years, and it worked wonders.

But then I made the mistake of trying a different acne wash for my face, to try to get rid of my blackheads. Then acne appeared, and I made the mistake of popping one, and it scarred for months. I continued using that different acne wash because it promised to get rid of acne scars, but it just gave me more acne, and the acne scar was still there.

So I went to the dermatologist.

I was an idiot and freaked out when the medication made me break out, even though the dermatologist already told me that it'd get worse before getting better. I stopped the medication after three weeks and went back to Clean n Clear for a week. Didn't work.

Then I switched to another dermatologist, the one that cured my brother of his acne in a matter of one month.

And here I am, with the medication causing tiny red bumps ALL OVER MY CHEEKS, even on the places where it'd been clear. I also have rather big brown-ish acne scars, and some more acne appearing. My right cheek is a lot worse than my left. Left cheek used to be almost clear (only a couple acne) before dermatologist came in. Now my left cheek is all covered. My chin is beginning to get affected, already two places scarred (though they're small but noticable).

It's been five months now of acne destroying my life. On the fifth month, my skin is at its most terrible condition.

How acne affected my life

I'm not over-stating it when I say that it completely changed my life and flipped everything upside down. Before, when I used to have clear skin, I used to whine about the smallest of things, get ticked off easily, let the smallest of problems get to me, but now...when I'm dealing with THIS problem of acne, I feel like those problems are NOTHING. I swear to God, if my acne and scars are gone and my face is clear like before, I will never complain about a single thing ever again. I'd live life to the fullest. All I want is this clear skin. If a genie were to pop out of a lamp and ask me what I wanted for myself, I'd say, without any hesitation and no need to think, "CLEAR SKIN."

Selfish? Probably. But when my face used to be clear, I loved to help people. So much. When someone needed my help, I'd jump in and help them. But now, I'm afraid. I'm embarassed. With this face, I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm trying my best to screw the acne and help people anyway, but I feel that I'd be more helpful if I just got rid of this stupid acne. I hate myself because of this.

If I added up the days that I pretended to be sick from school because I was embarassed of my acne, the days would sum up to at least two weeks.

I skipped two meetings with friends that I was sure would of been the time of my life--if only my acne was gone.

I can't watch tv shows or movies the same way again. I keep comparing my skin to the actor's flawless ones. And to think that I used to feel uncomfortable whenever seeing an actor with one tiny pimple on their face! Now I just feel thankful and tell myself that they're also human.

I can't listen to a love song or story and watch romance stories the same way again, because I feel that I can never experience the same thing if I have this terrible acne.

I look at strangers on the streets and compare their skin to mine, feeling good whenever I see skin that's worse than mine. Hating those with clear skin, even though I know that it was not right for me to feel that way. I feel terrible when I do this but I can't help it. I hate myself for it. I look at classmates more intently now, stare at their skin when they're not looking....

I USED TO NEVER NOTICE PEOPLE'S ACNE THIS MUCH, OR EVER GAVE MUCH THOUGHT TO THEM WHEN MY SKIN WAS CLEAR. So it's true. People who never or barely had acne DO NOT NOTICE OTHER PEOPLE'S ACNE AT ALL, OR BARELY NOTICE. AND IF THEY NOTICE, THEY SHRUG IT OFF AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THEY DON'T MIND IT.

I feel that my dreams are beginning to become pointless. I want to be a film director. I want to be a voice actress. I want to be a novelist. I want to be a comic artist. I actually thought of being an actress one day but no way---not anymore. Not with this face. I want to work for my favorite film directors.

But I feel that I can't. I can't even go anywhere without hating myself. Without hating my face. Without feeling like I'm nothing and feeling ugly compared to other people. And I feel sorry for the people who has to look at my disgusting face. How can I fulfill my dreams with no confidence? I don't want cameras to capture my acne. I used to like getting my picture taken (I wasn't the type of person to take thousands of pictures of themselves tho). Now, for five months, I avoid all cameras unless the picture is taken from a distance or with a low quality camera, where my acne won't be noticed.

Am I depressed? Yes. Maybe.

Now I feel that if I were to drop dead, to have a building crash onto me and only me, I'd be ok with it.

School days feel so long now. I always can't wait to go home and hide and not have people look at me.

Just as I'm typing this, I'm listening loudly to music with the topic "hating myself". It makes me feel better. I know, I'm so messed up right now.

Now the question

I want to believe that I can live with my acne, but another part tells me the opposite and sends me to tears. HOW DO I BATTLE THIS?

During the 5 months when acne hit me bad, I had good days. I had days when I just forgot about my acne, said to myself "Screw acne, I wanna live my life" and then live my life. Go to school, laugh with friends, do my homework and tests, and have fun, and just enjoy life. When I can't forget about my acne, I keep telling myself "it's ok. It's not actually that bad. I keep blowing it up to proportions. People don't actually mind that much, and maybe they don't even notice it" and I can enjoy life and the blissfullness of it, although that feeling of depression will nag at me once in a while.

Besides from these moments, other things have kept me happy. Music. Art. Movies and TV shows (though it hurts when I see those clear faces). Reading, writing. And comedy videos. But the moments when I can reassure myself that my acne is no prob is what really keeps me strong.

Now. These momenst are ruined when three things happen. The third is the question of this topic.

One: When someone mentions to me how terrible my acne is.

OUCH. It just HURTS. A slap to the face. Geez. My ex-boyfriend went up to me one day and said "Whoa, you have acne now! You look ugly now!"

WHAT THE---SERIOUSLY?

A friend told me "Oh look, that burger has bumps on it. Pimples. Just like you."

OUCH---

A baby sitter at the school, a dear friend of mine, said, "Ooooh look you've got acne now! What happened?" with a teasing smile on her face.

I THOUGHT GROWN UPS WOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

A senior at school, "Pimples on your face. You didn't wash your face, huh?"

I WASH MY FACE EVERY DAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

An old friend who I didn't meet in some time. "Why do you have so many pimples now?!" Right on front of so many people.

DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS.

And then I'm reminded, oh. So my pimples ARE noticable. And it bothers people. Ugh. I'm trash. I'm crap. Now what?

Note: I don't know the difference with pimples and acne D:

Two: When I'm in a bright room, where no darkness can hide my acne.

It also hurts when I see myself in the mirror while the lighting of the room is good. My acne looks noticable but doesn't look bad in a dark room. Some of the acne looks like it's not even there. But in the light...IT IS TERRIBLE. IT IS DISGUSTING. I HATE IT. Just yesterday, I went to a restaurant where it was very bright and had MIRRORS ON EVERY WALL. I saw myself in the reflection and wanted to hide. My mom was looking at my acne-infested cheeks as she talked to me, and not looking at my eyes. I wanted to cry.

But well. It's not like I spend all of my time in the sun. I should be ok at some dark places. I wanna be happy. I wanna enjoy life.

THREE: When it's myself that tells me that I CAN'T live my life with acne.

I want to hang out with my friends and family. I want to follow my dreams. I want to love living. I don't want to be depressed.

I know two girls at my school who has about the worst case of acne in the school (for the girls, that is), yet they are one of the most popular too. And they look happy, no matter the condition of their skin. (Although one of them would show signs of sadness of her acne, but it's for only a brief moment.) I want to be like them.

Then thoughts would appear in my mind.

"You're ugly with those acne."

"Don't you feel sorry for people who had to look at your disgusting face? They'll have the image in their heads, scarred for life."

"People are embarassed to be seen with you."

"Everyone's skin is clear. Yours is not. You're ugly."

I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE.

But how can I when I'm hurting myself mentally?. This medication from the dermatologist, I'm praying will work. It's gotten worse, but I have hopes that it'll be better. I'm giving it four months. If nothing gets better, then I dunno what I'd do.

But in the meantime, while I wait for the medication to help, how do I tell myself that it's not that bad? How do I live with myself? How do I defeat that part of me that tells myself that I'm ugly and disgusting? I know that even if my acne is gone, there'll still be scars.

But I'm ok with the scars as long as I don't have the terrible face that I have now.

Sigh. Well, I feel better now that I typed up this long shizz of my heart's contents.

and now....

How I would actually be thankful to have acne

I...I would actually be thankful to have acne. Because I learned so many things from it. I would complain less about things. I'd smile all the time, because I went through a lot. Things won't bother me like they did before. My health will be better, cuz I drink more and eat more fruits and vegetables. I exercise more now. I'm more thankful of things now. I won't ever be suicidal and won't be depressed as often as before.

I'd actually be thankful to have acne.

But only if I've already gotten rid of the acne and restored my clear face, that is. :')

I know, people have it worse than me. At least I'm not blind. At least I have both arms and legs. But still...Come on. I'm sorry. I really know how terrible I sound but I just can't help it. I can't help feel the way I feel I hate myself for it. So much.

Sigh.

Acne, go away please.

And now...for you all

I pray that everyone with skin not to their liking can find happiness, and have clear skin one day, or whatever they wish for that's positive

Hey, I am an 18 year old female with the SAME EXACT PROBLEM. Literally everything you said is true and I just got done going crazy about my acne and looking up things about it, because a kid at my work (I work at a preschool) was just like whats all those bumps on your face it really really hurts.

On 3/17/2013 at 12:49 PM, EmbarassedGirl said:

(For the explanation of the topic itself, skip to the button.)

Honestly if no one reads this, it's ok. Too long, didn't read for you? It's ok. I don't blame you. I know, it's really long. I just need to get these emotions out. I wanted to do this many times before, but I didn't, and now here I type.

History of me and my acne (if uninterested, feel free to skip)

I need to pour all of these emotions out somewhere. I'm tired of locking myself up in my room and screaming silently and crying and hating myself. And I wanna see if anyone else feels the same or is going through the same thing.

I never thought that I'd be posting here. A couple months ago, I never even knew that websites like these existed. Why? Let me begin.

I used to have a flawless, clear, acne-free face (except for blackheads, but they were barely noticable). I had acne during the 5th grade, but I was young and didn't care that much, and once in 6th grade I don't recall ever having acne (except for once in a while, and the acne would always disappear in a matter of days, and the worst scarring I got went away completely in a month). All the way until 11th grade, I had a clear skin and people would wonder what I was using on my face. Girls were jealous.

I used Clean n Clear all those years, and it worked wonders.

But then I made the mistake of trying a different acne wash for my face, to try to get rid of my blackheads. Then acne appeared, and I made the mistake of popping one, and it scarred for months. I continued using that different acne wash because it promised to get rid of acne scars, but it just gave me more acne, and the acne scar was still there.

So I went to the dermatologist.

I was an idiot and freaked out when the medication made me break out, even though the dermatologist already told me that it'd get worse before getting better. I stopped the medication after three weeks and went back to Clean n Clear for a week. Didn't work.

Then I switched to another dermatologist, the one that cured my brother of his acne in a matter of one month.

And here I am, with the medication causing tiny red bumps ALL OVER MY CHEEKS, even on the places where it'd been clear. I also have rather big brown-ish acne scars, and some more acne appearing. My right cheek is a lot worse than my left. Left cheek used to be almost clear (only a couple acne) before dermatologist came in. Now my left cheek is all covered. My chin is beginning to get affected, already two places scarred (though they're small but noticable).

It's been five months now of acne destroying my life. On the fifth month, my skin is at its most terrible condition.

How acne affected my life

I'm not over-stating it when I say that it completely changed my life and flipped everything upside down. Before, when I used to have clear skin, I used to whine about the smallest of things, get ticked off easily, let the smallest of problems get to me, but now...when I'm dealing with THIS problem of acne, I feel like those problems are NOTHING. I swear to God, if my acne and scars are gone and my face is clear like before, I will never complain about a single thing ever again. I'd live life to the fullest. All I want is this clear skin. If a genie were to pop out of a lamp and ask me what I wanted for myself, I'd say, without any hesitation and no need to think, "CLEAR SKIN."

Selfish? Probably. But when my face used to be clear, I loved to help people. So much. When someone needed my help, I'd jump in and help them. But now, I'm afraid. I'm embarassed. With this face, I'm afraid of approaching people. I'm trying my best to screw the acne and help people anyway, but I feel that I'd be more helpful if I just got rid of this stupid acne. I hate myself because of this.

If I added up the days that I pretended to be sick from school because I was embarassed of my acne, the days would sum up to at least two weeks.

I skipped two meetings with friends that I was sure would of been the time of my life--if only my acne was gone.

I can't watch tv shows or movies the same way again. I keep comparing my skin to the actor's flawless ones. And to think that I used to feel uncomfortable whenever seeing an actor with one tiny pimple on their face! Now I just feel thankful and tell myself that they're also human.

I can't listen to a love song or story and watch romance stories the same way again, because I feel that I can never experience the same thing if I have this terrible acne.

I look at strangers on the streets and compare their skin to mine, feeling good whenever I see skin that's worse than mine. Hating those with clear skin, even though I know that it was not right for me to feel that way. I feel terrible when I do this but I can't help it. I hate myself for it. I look at classmates more intently now, stare at their skin when they're not looking....

I USED TO NEVER NOTICE PEOPLE'S ACNE THIS MUCH, OR EVER GAVE MUCH THOUGHT TO THEM WHEN MY SKIN WAS CLEAR. So it's true. People who never or barely had acne DO NOT NOTICE OTHER PEOPLE'S ACNE AT ALL, OR BARELY NOTICE. AND IF THEY NOTICE, THEY SHRUG IT OFF AND DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. THEY DON'T MIND IT.

I feel that my dreams are beginning to become pointless. I want to be a film director. I want to be a voice actress. I want to be a novelist. I want to be a comic artist. I actually thought of being an actress one day but no way---not anymore. Not with this face. I want to work for my favorite film directors.

But I feel that I can't. I can't even go anywhere without hating myself. Without hating my face. Without feeling like I'm nothing and feeling ugly compared to other people. And I feel sorry for the people who has to look at my disgusting face. How can I fulfill my dreams with no confidence? I don't want cameras to capture my acne. I used to like getting my picture taken (I wasn't the type of person to take thousands of pictures of themselves tho). Now, for five months, I avoid all cameras unless the picture is taken from a distance or with a low quality camera, where my acne won't be noticed.

Am I depressed? Yes. Maybe.

Now I feel that if I were to drop dead, to have a building crash onto me and only me, I'd be ok with it.

School days feel so long now. I always can't wait to go home and hide and not have people look at me.

Just as I'm typing this, I'm listening loudly to music with the topic "hating myself". It makes me feel better. I know, I'm so messed up right now.

Now the question

I want to believe that I can live with my acne, but another part tells me the opposite and sends me to tears. HOW DO I BATTLE THIS?

During the 5 months when acne hit me bad, I had good days. I had days when I just forgot about my acne, said to myself "Screw acne, I wanna live my life" and then live my life. Go to school, laugh with friends, do my homework and tests, and have fun, and just enjoy life. When I can't forget about my acne, I keep telling myself "it's ok. It's not actually that bad. I keep blowing it up to proportions. People don't actually mind that much, and maybe they don't even notice it" and I can enjoy life and the blissfullness of it, although that feeling of depression will nag at me once in a while.

Besides from these moments, other things have kept me happy. Music. Art. Movies and TV shows (though it hurts when I see those clear faces). Reading, writing. And comedy videos. But the moments when I can reassure myself that my acne is no prob is what really keeps me strong.

Now. These momenst are ruined when three things happen. The third is the question of this topic.

One: When someone mentions to me how terrible my acne is.

OUCH. It just HURTS. A slap to the face. Geez. My ex-boyfriend went up to me one day and said "Whoa, you have acne now! You look ugly now!"

WHAT THE---SERIOUSLY?

A friend told me "Oh look, that burger has bumps on it. Pimples. Just like you."

OUCH---

A baby sitter at the school, a dear friend of mine, said, "Ooooh look you've got acne now! What happened?" with a teasing smile on her face.

I THOUGHT GROWN UPS WOULD BE MORE SENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS.

A senior at school, "Pimples on your face. You didn't wash your face, huh?"

I WASH MY FACE EVERY DAY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

An old friend who I didn't meet in some time. "Why do you have so many pimples now?!" Right on front of so many people.

DO THESE PEOPLE KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS.

And then I'm reminded, oh. So my pimples ARE noticable. And it bothers people. Ugh. I'm trash. I'm crap. Now what?

Note: I don't know the difference with pimples and acne D:

Two: When I'm in a bright room, where no darkness can hide my acne.

It also hurts when I see myself in the mirror while the lighting of the room is good. My acne looks noticable but doesn't look bad in a dark room. Some of the acne looks like it's not even there. But in the light...IT IS TERRIBLE. IT IS DISGUSTING. I HATE IT. Just yesterday, I went to a restaurant where it was very bright and had MIRRORS ON EVERY WALL. I saw myself in the reflection and wanted to hide. My mom was looking at my acne-infested cheeks as she talked to me, and not looking at my eyes. I wanted to cry.

But well. It's not like I spend all of my time in the sun. I should be ok at some dark places. I wanna be happy. I wanna enjoy life.

THREE: When it's myself that tells me that I CAN'T live my life with acne.

I want to hang out with my friends and family. I want to follow my dreams. I want to love living. I don't want to be depressed.

I know two girls at my school who has about the worst case of acne in the school (for the girls, that is), yet they are one of the most popular too. And they look happy, no matter the condition of their skin. (Although one of them would show signs of sadness of her acne, but it's for only a brief moment.) I want to be like them.

Then thoughts would appear in my mind.

"You're ugly with those acne."

"Don't you feel sorry for people who had to look at your disgusting face? They'll have the image in their heads, scarred for life."

"People are embarassed to be seen with you."

"Everyone's skin is clear. Yours is not. You're ugly."

I WANT TO ENJOY LIFE.

But how can I when I'm hurting myself mentally?. This medication from the dermatologist, I'm praying will work. It's gotten worse, but I have hopes that it'll be better. I'm giving it four months. If nothing gets better, then I dunno what I'd do.

But in the meantime, while I wait for the medication to help, how do I tell myself that it's not that bad? How do I live with myself? How do I defeat that part of me that tells myself that I'm ugly and disgusting? I know that even if my acne is gone, there'll still be scars.

But I'm ok with the scars as long as I don't have the terrible face that I have now.

Sigh. Well, I feel better now that I typed up this long shizz of my heart's contents.

and now....

How I would actually be thankful to have acne

I...I would actually be thankful to have acne. Because I learned so many things from it. I would complain less about things. I'd smile all the time, because I went through a lot. Things won't bother me like they did before. My health will be better, cuz I drink more and eat more fruits and vegetables. I exercise more now. I'm more thankful of things now. I won't ever be suicidal and won't be depressed as often as before.

I'd actually be thankful to have acne.

But only if I've already gotten rid of the acne and restored my clear face, that is. :')

I know, people have it worse than me. At least I'm not blind. At least I have both arms and legs. But still...Come on. I'm sorry. I really know how terrible I sound but I just can't help it. I can't help feel the way I feel I hate myself for it. So much.

Sigh.

Acne, go away please.

And now...for you all

I pray that everyone with skin not to their liking can find happiness, and have clear skin one day, or whatever they wish for that's positive

WOW. First person that is litterally me. OMG. How did it end up for you?

I really wan to say something, so i made an account just to reply to this post.

i used to have clear skin (i do have white heads and black heads but i can manage it. Do have one pimple or two if it's time of the month but not worst)

And then i moved here in Australia and my face just go crazy. I have acne all over my face. I don't know what to do. I tried everything. I am so embarrassed to go out even to go to work because of this face. I am depressed. I am so insecure. I don't use make up before but i used make up now.

i can't just go to work bare face, so unprofessional and not presentable. I hope really one day i could go out without wearing make up and be confident again.

I can't help you wih anything but i can guarantee you, You are not alone gurl!! Let's fight against this acne.

PS. I could relate about people around you complaining they have one pimple and i am here looking like a living acne.

Love you x