Aurielle7, I really wish that I could give you the answers to changing your perspective on acne but I`m afraid I cannot as it is an ongoing battle that I have to this day. With me it is very much a day to day thing - on some days I feel ok and on others I feel like a vile, hideous monster (today is one of those days). It all depends on how I perceive myself and my skin when I look in the mirror first thing in the morning. I would say that I have a form of skin or acne dysmorphia rather than BDD as even a small blemish on my face or any part of my body can really make me feel repulsive.

The only advice that I would give is however bad you feel about yourself, if you can try not to miss out on doing something or deliberately avoid going to or attending an event. It does not solve anything and in the long run will only exacerbate the problem and cause you to suffer from another problem - social anxiety.

I can really relate...all my friends and quite a few guys tell me they think I'm beautiful, and while I don't think I am hideous, I think I'm a pretty average looking person, when people say I'm gorgeous or beautiful, I always think "Well that's a bit of an exaggeration don't you think?" I definitely don't mind the compliments, and I receive them as best I can, but I don't really understand them. It's not that I hate myself, I don't, I just think people see me as being better than I actually am, and it confuses me.

 

You're confused because you have low self-esteem. With all of the positives in your life, focusing on the acne still hits hard and will continue to do so until you change the way you view yourself. It's difficult and takes time, but not impossible.

There are a couple of things to keep in mind regarding the appearance of your acne:

1) People aren't scrutinizing your skin the way you do. Sure, folks may notice you have acne, but could care less. They're too worried about their own perceived "flaws" whatever they may be.

2) Nobody is up in your face getting close-ups of your acne the way you do in the mirror. We're all guilty of miscroscope mirroring. When you do that, you're reinforcing the "ugly" self image you've given yourself, thus hurting your self-esteem, thus being confused about how others think you're more beautiful than you're giving yourself credit for.

It sounds silly, but the next time someone tells you how attractive you are, politely thank them out loud, but in your head exclaim, "Damn right I am!" Allow yourself to believe it. There's a reason the phrase "Fake it till you make it" exists...because it works! Fake believe every time someone gives you a compliment. Don't let your mind slip towards negativity. Accept the compliment, feel good, and quickly change the subject or think about something different so you don't dwell. After awhile you will not only believe what people are telling you about your appearance, you will embrace it because you'll know it to be true!

My perspective about my acne and how it affects who I am and my looks is one of my biggest issues, and for the life of me, I can't understand how people can see it differently than me. I look in the mirror and I see a face ravaged by acne, fighting such an unfair battle it's ridiculous. I try to cover it up, and I try to stifle the shame, but every time I go in public and I feel like I'm having a bad face day, it hits me so hard, and I can't help but feel like everyone who looks at me is either judging me or feeling sorry for me, and I want neither. Yet, whenever I talk to my friends, they are almost always surprised that my acne is such a huge insecurity for me. I just plain don't understand it when people tell me I am beautiful. I know in some way it's got to be true because I hear it fairly often, but each time I hear it, I have no idea what they are talking about. I'd love to be able to look in the mirror and see what my friends and guys see in me...but somehow I just can't. Have any of you guys been dealing with anything similar? How do you try to fix your perspective about yourself and your acne?

 

I understand you completely, no matter what people tell you saying your skin looks fine etc you still think it looks bad because your attitude has changed so much since having acne that you keep thinking bad about yourself regardless of what other people say.