My skin has been ruining my life for almost six years now, and I'm almost to the breaking point. I have been on Accutane for 5 months and my course was just extended to a 6th month because the acne on my chin came back, BAD. I have the most repulsive skin I have ever seen. I'm so tired of caking my face with makeup everyday just to be able to go out of the house, walk around the house, and not want to slit my wrists. I have not gone out of the house without makeup on in four years. I'm emotional all the time and I cry a lot, I act like a psycho-bitch to my parents, and I think about suicide everyday. The new, healthy lifestyle I adopted a couple months ago went out the window this past month and I've been eating crap and not getting enough sleep. I've even started drinking and smoking pot to just try and get a moment of relief. I don't know what's happened to me. A year ago I wouldn't believe I was like this, and everything is spiraling out of control. My grades suck. I went from being an A and B student to getting D's. I rejected a relationship with a guy I really like because of my extreme insecurities and self-loathing, and now I just act like a freak around him. I don't know what to do anymore... I feel like I've given up. I being honest and open with this post and looking for advice and support, so please try not to judge me.
I would second stopping the supplements. I know that when I took fish oil I broke out in lot's of cysts on my chin and I wasn't even prone to cysts. Probiotics also gave me horrible breakouts! Both are good in theory but everything effects everyone differently.
I have been in the self loathing position and I know that it is really hard. You have to realize that with acne or not you are still you. It dosen't change who you are as a person unless you let it. It may seem like the biggest deal to you but to other people it really isn't. Your personality and state of mind is how they percieve you. Sure they will see your acne but it dosen't define you. Try looking in the mirror everyday without makeup on and say "I love you and you are okay." Look into your own eyes and try to believe this statement. You may get lot's of feedback from your mind putting you down but try to silence that voice. What if you let someone close to you talk to you the way you talk to yourself? Would you be okay with them treating you like that? You don't deserve to be mean to yourself just because you have acne. It is not your fault! And just like everything this will pass. You will find the ansswer to your acne problems. It may not be easy to find or do but you will have clear skin in the future.
All of the diet changes sound great so I would really try to keep doing them. It is easy to get frustrated and get off track but eating a heathy diet improves our mood and sleep which would help you feel a bit better. Drinking alcohol makes acne worse but personally I don't think smoking a little pot to relax is a big deal. Going gluten free for a few weeks might also help you find out if that is a problem for you. Focus on doing well for yourself because you deserve it. You know that you can get good grades so prove to yourself that you aren't going to let acne defeat you. Fight back at it! Talk to your crush and imagine yourself with clear skin when you are talking to him. He obviously wanted to be with you if you rejected him so he is definately attracted to you. I'm sure you are beautiful and your acne is not as bad as you think that is so take some time to grieve and feel upset but then focus on kicking acne in the ass and living life the way you want to regardless of it!
Try stopping the supplements and see how it goes as they might be interacting with your course. Increase the intake of zinc rich foods in your diet like pumpkin seed oil. Also get into hardcore yoga as you need to cut down your anxiety levels.
I'll definitely try this. I didn't even consider that the supplements I was taking could be breaking me out. It makes sense though, because my skin got worse around the time I started taking them. Thanks!
I would second stopping the supplements. I know that when I took fish oil I broke out in lot's of cysts on my chin and I wasn't even prone to cysts. Probiotics also gave me horrible breakouts! Both are good in theory but everything effects everyone differently.
I have been in the self loathing position and I know that it is really hard. You have to realize that with acne or not you are still you. It dosen't change who you are as a person unless you let it. It may seem like the biggest deal to you but to other people it really isn't. Your personality and state of mind is how they percieve you. Sure they will see your acne but it dosen't define you. Try looking in the mirror everyday without makeup on and say "I love you and you are okay." Look into your own eyes and try to believe this statement. You may get lot's of feedback from your mind putting you down but try to silence that voice. What if you let someone close to you talk to you the way you talk to yourself? Would you be okay with them treating you like that? You don't deserve to be mean to yourself just because you have acne. It is not your fault! And just like everything this will pass. You will find the ansswer to your acne problems. It may not be easy to find or do but you will have clear skin in the future.
All of the diet changes sound great so I would really try to keep doing them. It is easy to get frustrated and get off track but eating a heathy diet improves our mood and sleep which would help you feel a bit better. Drinking alcohol makes acne worse but personally I don't think smoking a little pot to relax is a big deal. Going gluten free for a few weeks might also help you find out if that is a problem for you. Focus on doing well for yourself because you deserve it. You know that you can get good grades so prove to yourself that you aren't going to let acne defeat you. Fight back at it! Talk to your crush and imagine yourself with clear skin when you are talking to him. He obviously wanted to be with you if you rejected him so he is definately attracted to you. I'm sure you are beautiful and your acne is not as bad as you think that is so take some time to grieve and feel upset but then focus on kicking acne in the ass and living life the way you want to regardless of it!
Wow, thank you so much! You actually made me feel a lot better. I've been struggling with depression for a long time and every time my skin gets worse so does my depression. I'm definitely going to try everything you suggested because I want to feel better. Thank you!
I understand your pain. I'm on the "heathy eating, fight acne internally" kick myself right now, and it's so fucking hard, words barely describe. I see friends having the occasional pepsi or slice of pizza, and I'm like why can't I do that?? Why must I restrict myself and make myself unhappy as a result? It's really tough. I'm also on antibiotics right now, and they help, but I'm never totally clear. On my best days I'd say I'm about 85% clear.
I understand completely about the relationship thing too. I've dumped so many girlfriends because of my skin. They probably think I'm a terrible person because of how I've treated them, but the truth is I'm just so depressed about the state of my skin that I don't want to burden any girl that I like with my skin insanity/problems, so I just give them some excuse like "I'm not ready for a gf right now" when really I want a long-term girlfriend more than anything else in life, someone I can share all of myself with and hold nothing back. If I can ever reach a point where I can openly talk to a girl about how I feel about my skin and what it does to my moods, etc...I think that'll be a great accomplishment and it'll be a huge step in the right direction...but I haven't gotten there yet. I just think of myself as a broken person, and the girls who I have dated in the past deserve better than that.
You're still young hun so you can definitely target the problem. Before you got on accutane did you ask your derm about the hormonal stuff?
Please try your best to keep your chin up. I wish i could hug you.
Your clear skin days are closer than you think.
I understand your pain. I'm on the "heathy eating, fight acne internally" kick myself right now, and it's so fucking hard, words barely describe. I see friends having the occasional pepsi or slice of pizza, and I'm like why can't I do that?? Why must I restrict myself and make myself unhappy as a result? It's really tough. I'm also on antibiotics right now, and they help, but I'm never totally clear. On my best days I'd say I'm about 85% clear.
I understand completely about the relationship thing too. I've dumped so many girlfriends because of my skin. They probably think I'm a terrible person because of how I've treated them, but the truth is I'm just so depressed about the state of my skin that I don't want to burden any girl that I like with my skin insanity/problems, so I just give them some excuse like "I'm not ready for a gf right now" when really I want a long-term girlfriend more than anything else in life, someone I can share all of myself with and hold nothing back. If I can ever reach a point where I can openly talk to a girl about how I feel about my skin and what it does to my moods, etc...I think that'll be a great accomplishment and it'll be a huge step in the right direction...but I haven't gotten there yet. I just think of myself as a broken person, and the girls who I have dated in the past deserve better than that.
I understand your pain. I'm on the "heathy eating, fight acne internally" kick myself right now, and it's so fucking hard, words barely describe. I see friends having the occasional pepsi or slice of pizza, and I'm like why can't I do that?? Why must I restrict myself and make myself unhappy as a result? It's really tough. I'm also on antibiotics right now, and they help, but I'm never totally clear. On my best days I'd say I'm about 85% clear.
I understand completely about the relationship thing too. I've dumped so many girlfriends because of my skin. They probably think I'm a terrible person because of how I've treated them, but the truth is I'm just so depressed about the state of my skin that I don't want to burden any girl that I like with my skin insanity/problems, so I just give them some excuse like "I'm not ready for a gf right now" when really I want a long-term girlfriend more than anything else in life, someone I can share all of myself with and hold nothing back. If I can ever reach a point where I can openly talk to a girl about how I feel about my skin and what it does to my moods, etc...I think that'll be a great accomplishment and it'll be a huge step in the right direction...but I haven't gotten there yet. I just think of myself as a broken person, and the girls who I have dated in the past deserve better than that.
You totally just echoed the way I feel! I envy my friends and sister who eat whatever they want and have perfect skin while I eat such a strict diet and my skin is absolutely horrible. I was on antibiotics for at least two years and had a similar experience to yours. It helped, but I was never completely clear. About the relationships, this really is what happened with me. I treated this guy horribly because of my insecurities and it has made me feel like a horrible person. He probably thinks so too. Life is rough sometimes.
You're still young hun so you can definitely target the problem. Before you got on accutane did you ask your derm about the hormonal stuff?
Please try your best to keep your chin up. I wish i could hug you.
Your clear skin days are closer than you think.
I understand your pain. I'm on the "heathy eating, fight acne internally" kick myself right now, and it's so fucking hard, words barely describe. I see friends having the occasional pepsi or slice of pizza, and I'm like why can't I do that?? Why must I restrict myself and make myself unhappy as a result? It's really tough. I'm also on antibiotics right now, and they help, but I'm never totally clear. On my best days I'd say I'm about 85% clear.
I understand completely about the relationship thing too. I've dumped so many girlfriends because of my skin. They probably think I'm a terrible person because of how I've treated them, but the truth is I'm just so depressed about the state of my skin that I don't want to burden any girl that I like with my skin insanity/problems, so I just give them some excuse like "I'm not ready for a gf right now" when really I want a long-term girlfriend more than anything else in life, someone I can share all of myself with and hold nothing back. If I can ever reach a point where I can openly talk to a girl about how I feel about my skin and what it does to my moods, etc...I think that'll be a great accomplishment and it'll be a huge step in the right direction...but I haven't gotten there yet. I just think of myself as a broken person, and the girls who I have dated in the past deserve better than that.
This literally brought tears to my eyes. I bet you're an amazing person... whoever that girl will be, is very lucky.
Thank you so much. Everyone on here has really raised my spirits. I haven't talked to my dermatologist much about hormonal treatments yet but I plan to. I really think a hormonal imbalance is what's causing my acne. I did start using birth control pills several years ago but it didn't help.