'Cause we're not all superficial? The way someones skin looks means absolutely nothing. You could have perfect skin and be a jerk, you wouldn't want to go out with someone horrible. If someone is kind or funny or sweet. That means so much more than their skin. Anyway, would you really want someone who judged you totally on your looks and didn't look any deeper?

the way someone's skin looks means absolutely nothing? then why are you on this website? why would you even say something so incredibly stupid and obviously untrue?

Now you're just being a douchebag. What a crass thing to say to someone who was being kind and offering legitmate insight. Stop trying to have a pity party thrown for yourself and get over yourself. Boo-hoo, you have acne. People have too many of their own issues to give a shit about your pizza face. The only people who care about you having acne are those who are too damaged and insecure to function. You've stooped to that level. Congratulations.

don't think he's being that much of a douchebag.. "The way someones skin looks means absolutely nothing." .. well he might have been a lil bit harsh but still, you know better than to tell people that.. i mean.. really?

'Cause we're not all superficial? The way someones skin looks means absolutely nothing. You could have perfect skin and be a jerk, you wouldn't want to go out with someone horrible. If someone is kind or funny or sweet. That means so much more than their skin. Anyway, would you really want someone who judged you totally on your looks and didn't look any deeper?

the way someone's skin looks means absolutely nothing? then why are you on this website? why would you even say something so incredibly stupid and obviously untrue?

Now you're just being a douchebag. What a crass thing to say to someone who was being kind and offering legitmate insight. Stop trying to have a pity party thrown for yourself and get over yourself. Boo-hoo, you have acne. People have too many of their own issues to give a shit about your pizza face. The only people who care about you having acne are those who are too damaged and insecure to function. You've stooped to that level. Congratulations.

don't think he's being that much of a douchebag.. "The way someones skin looks means absolutely nothing." .. well he might have been a lil bit harsh but still, you know better than to tell people that.. i mean.. really?

 

I'm on this site to help with my skin because I tend to scar myself when I breakout, and it's not good to break your skin that way

Sorry, but, that's MY opinion. I don't think the way someones skin looks matters, I didn't say thats how every girl on the entire planet thinks. So yea, take a step back and don't jump down my throat because you don't agree with something I say. I'm one of those people who prefers to judge people on how they act/personality, rather than if they have zits.

Never thought I'd be getting chewed out because I'm not superficial

Why Would Any Girl Want A Guy With Acne And Skin Problems When She Can Have A Guy With Perfect Skin Instead?

Heres your answer: she wouldnt. But you do have acne so man-up. Life is fair to NOBODY.

Here's the way I look at it with my years of horrible dating experience. I've dated the shallowist dumbest blonde bimbo's you can find that really really really made me even more self conscious about not only my acne but how I looked all the time because they were constantly judging. I've also dated some amazing women who really didn't give a f*ck how I looked most time because they liked me for another reason. What i'm saying is majority of us on this websiter are younger than 30. Some of you may be just looking at in terms of finding a girl, but for alot of us as you grow older you realize you want a WOMAN not a girl. Personally if a woman wouldn't date me for the slight imperfections/scars/birth marks/whatever then she is not the type of person you want to be with long term anyways. I understand just wanting to be with someone, but once you've gone through the meaningless sex and terrible conversations, you realize there are some GREAT WOMEN out there who are looking for more than just what they can see first time they meet you. I know this might sounds stupid, but if you can make a girl laugh you definitely have a chance.

-Vince

acne isn't the only basis for attraction. i think it's difficult to realize that when you are struggling with your skin...you easily forget that there are things about you that people will like bc you are so focused on trying to get clear. just because you don't like the your skin, doesn't mean someone will disregard your other features.

i think we all will agree you need to be physically attracted to someone to have more than just a friendship. but look around you..there are people with moderate to severe acne and they have healthy relationships in their lives. it's not easy, but you can do the same. getting over the whole "i look like a monster" mindset is difficult, believe me, i know. but it's more difficult to keep punishing yourself for something that is not your fault. there are people who will look past your acne. but that also doesn't guarantee you'll be attracted to them. life is twisted. finding an honest connection, and a lasting relationship is difficult with or without acne.

Because some of us girls don't value your worth depending on the condition of your skin? Decent people don't give a hoot about your skin, a decent person who likes your personality will like you regardless, and they're the ones worth being with.

My husband chose me and married me, rather than his perfect-skinned gorgeous ex, doesn't that tell you something?

The title to this thread should be, "Why would any girl who bases everything on looks want a guy with acne and skin problems..." Well, the question answers itself, really. I know how easy it is to fall into the train of thought you're currently having. I've been there myself. Besides, you do not really want a girl who's going to not want you because of your acne. What happens if you get a car accident and you disfigure your face? Somebody like that would more than likely abandon ship.

There are plenty of women who would want you for the way you look, but they're not going to want you for your insecure attitude, as hard as it may be to hear. Just try to be yourself and sort of shrug off the fact that you have acne when you're talking to girls. If it somehow comes up in a conversation, just play around with idea as if it didn't bother you at all. It'll really show that you're a strong, easy going humbled guy and not a self absorbed narcissist. Try it man, you'd be surprised how attractive it is to girls.

GL

I had a crush on a guy all through high school, and I'd say his acne was severe. Mine was extremely mild in comparison. And this guy seemed to get any girl he wanted. He never *seemed* to let his acne bother him (maybe it did behind closed doors, but he never let it show). He was very outgoing, involved in everything, good sense of humor, etc. We reconnected for a brief time a couple of years ago, he is now a lawyer, and has clear skin (I highly suspect he went through a round of accutane). He asked me on a date...I said no! I found out how much of a player he is, and I am NO longer interested in him, even with the clear skin and law degree. I liked him better in high school when he had severe acne!

And as for my current relationship, my boyfriend's skin is flawless and he is an extremely attractive man. He had been trying to get me to date him for 9 years, but I wouldn't because I felt someone like that would be a "ladies man" and wouldn't stick around long, since his looks could probably get him any lady he wanted. Maybe if he had SOME type of imperfection, like acne, I would have been more willing to date him sooner. It was his good looks that kept me away for so long!!! I know that probably sounds crazy, but it is 100% truth. We've been dating for a year now, granted my acne is currently mild, but it was pretty bad when we first started dating, and I have some scars too. He could have a perfect girl with perfect skin if he wanted, but he is with me. So just as those with clear skin shouldn't judge those with acne soley on our looks, I think it's important for us not to stereotype that all those with clear skin are shallow.The good ones can thankfully see past our acne!!!! Best wishes!

It's easy to tell somebody on the internet "hurr durr you just gotta be confident" but that's not how confidence works. I have plently personality, I'm a hilarious guy and am confident in the clothes i wear, but it all means nothing when people are gonna shoot you down because of your skin condition

I know how you feel. But I suffered trough really bad acne too and i have realized that the prettiest girls with clear skin are the ones that will turn you down, and those are the girls everyone wants. But with not so perfect lookin girls i noticed that they dont really cared although i was always still self concious about my face. But you do just gotta be confident enough at leas to pretend like it doesnt bother you or else any girl will think something is really wrong with you thats bugging you all the time and gross them out.

well would you date a girl with acne just like yourself? your reply would most likely yes. Having been a sufferer, it wouldnt matter to me if i really liked the,.and those things shouldnt matter at the end of the day

Man! I wish I could hug you. I've had similar thoughts, wondering why any guy would want me when he could have a woman with clear skin instead...

The truth is not all girls are shallow. There may be some shallow people out there but the problem is if they are just after looks, the relationship doesn't really have much of a foundation to stand on. Look at all the gorgeous Hollywood couples, they trade in relationships faster than cars. What happens to shallow relationships solely based on looks when people age?

You are more than your skin, much, much more. You have a lot to offer women and a lot to offer the world. Please don't beat yourself up. I've been there and done that too. You're hurting as is, you deserve to have yourself as a best friend now, not an enemy.

I would totally date a guy with acne if I liked what was on the inside.

i actually think guys with indented acne scars are quite sexy. I really don't even mind acne, buuut maybe that's because I have acne. Although, I feel ya. I feel like I can't attract any guys because of my skin and scars. I feel like it makes me look less feminine. Whether that be true or not. But with other posts mentioned here, people really aren't that superficial. We are our own worst critic... as much as I hate that saying, it's true.

well would you date a girl with acne just like yourself?

 

This is a VERY good point. How are YOU choosing what girls you are interested in? Do you not give certain girls a second look based on some cosmetic flaw of theirs(weight, skin, face, etc)? Perhaps not looking at your potential partner in a superficial way yourself, and looking for a girl with a great personality would aid you in your search. I know every guy wants a hot girl, which is fun for a while, but eventually, as others said, you want to find someone with a great personality who likes you for you. Also, did you find girls when you were clear on Accutane?

I got with some of the hottest girls in my life when I had HORRIBLE acne. We're talking huge cysts, tons and tons of big inflamed pustules, the whole nine yards. Certainly us saying have confidence doesn't help matters, but that's really what it comes down to. Highlight your good qualities and try your best to brush off the bad. Trust me, pretty much every girl is far more insecure about a laundry list of things about themselves than you should be about your acne.

Just talk to girls too. If they blow you off, who cares? On to the next. Eventually you'll find someone. Just don't expect them to come flocking to you. It just doesn't happen that way unfortunately.

So many hot girls on this site prattling on about how ugly they feel when 90% of us would merrily hit it. =\

So many hot girls on this site prattling on about how ugly they feel when 90% of us would merrily hit it. =\

 

hahaha. I agree. Its just society is just so fucked. Society makes anyone with acne feel ugly. I guarantee if someone with severe acne went to a war torn foreign country, they would be welcomed with open arms.

As I said in a previous post, I fancy a girl with acne at the moment - her skin doesn't make a blind bit of difference to me. I think a key factor is that she is otherwise pretty, takes good care of herself without being vain about it, has intelligence, and best of all, has a lovely smile and blushes when she speaks to me!

It seems as if there's a difference between what men actually find attractive in women and what the media and fashion industry depict as 'beautiful' or 'perfect' - which I find quite cold and unappealing. I've known girls who are models and while they look flawless they don't do it for me, personally.

The sad thing is, I think it's becoming this way with men - especially young men - too. I'm seeing increasing numbers of male models in the media, men who are treated as sexual objects with no voice and no mind. And many young men are trying to imitate these images of 'perfection' (as young women have been doing for years), believing that if they don't match up to this narrow ideal, no one will ever love them. There's mounting pressure on young men to spend their free time in the gym, wear designer clothes, spend money on grooming products, etc. And, frankly, I'm sickened by the popularity of some of these clothing companies that only hire models and apparently make less attractive staff work in the basement (or whatever - this might only be hearsay, I admit).

Anyway, to return to the topic - what I'm saying is that 'perfect skin' is not one of the main attributes I look for in a girl and I can only hope that it works the other way around as well.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately because my cystic acne is starting to come back full blast and it's only 1 month after i finished my accutane course. So depressing going from almost clear skin to the horrible nightmare that I call my face. I'll never be as good as other guys who have no skin problems and have clear skin all the time

 

Because an horrible personality and destroy a beautiful face.

I've been with girls who were absolute stunners and they were horrible as people. I've been with average looking girls and they are great people.

I am not saying that is the same for every woman out there but thats how it can happen. Looks isn't everything.

I know girls who have been messed around so much by the good looking guys and they have gone for someone who is "average" looking but is a wonderful person. Again no generalising, just using it as an example,

Let your personality shine and your face will shine with it.

My boyfriend has perfectly clear skin no matter what, which is so aggravating for me! And every girl that he has been with has had perfect skin as well, so of course I am going to be a little self-conscious.

But he says that it doesn't bother him in the least! I notice he never even looks at my face, even when I'm not wearing makeup. A lot of people really don't care! And he sees that I'm beautiful inside and out, despite the acne.

Everyone's got flaws, so don't think that yours are going to prevent you from living a full and happy life with your potential partner.

Everyone's got flaws, so don't think that yours are going to prevent you from living a full and happy life with your potential partner.

 

Damn right!

Chill. It'll go away. Just wait it out. No girl is so choked by her standards that she'd refused to date you because you have/had acne as a teenager. Accutane may be the solution to your cofidence issues due to this though. It's hard to think you look good with cysts all over your face. I'm 2 months and into my accutane treatment and my skin is much better, not clear yet, but coming along. If you have tried everything else, and nothing seemed to work, I'd recommend it. Also, microdermabrasion a few months after the course is a good idea for scar removal and general improvement of the appearance of your skin(I plan to get this done). Good luck.

My boyfriend has perfectly clear skin no matter what, which is so aggravating for me! And every girl that he has been with has had perfect skin as well, so of course I am going to be a little self-conscious.

But he says that it doesn't bother him in the least! I notice he never even looks at my face, even when I'm not wearing makeup. A lot of people really don't care! And he sees that I'm beautiful inside and out, despite the acne.

Everyone's got flaws, so don't think that yours are going to prevent you from living a full and happy life with your potential partner.

 

Why not think of it this way?

You are with your b/f despite your imperfection. He is with you because he wants to be not because of skin perfection or lack there of.

This tells me he must really like you for you which tells you surely are a wonderful person and you are his type.

Keep that in mind

im a guy and i have moderate acne. my skin has its good weeks and bad weeks and I'm using topicals atm to treat it, but the same girls that found me attractive before i had acne still find me attractive. i find it really odd b/c i feel so gross

I have had acne since I was 10. I am now 22. Of course when I was younger my peers weren't really into me.I got teased and whatever but I always acted like it didn't bug me. As I got into my late teens I was still struggling with really bad break outs. It didn't affect my confidence. I went out with my friends. I had dates. I enjoyed life and I still do. I have a wonderful boyfriend who has super clear skin. He never notices my skin. Only time he does is when he is commenting on how stunning I look. He is very encouraging when I am on acne treatments. Loves me no matter what.

Point is: As much as it may bother me in some superficial sense that my skin isn't clear, I have NEVER denied a friendship or conversation with someone GUY or GIRL because of appearance. Basing opinions on people with acne is as negative a choice as judging someone with a handicap. People show their true colours through body langauge, speech, personality and actions. NOT LOOKS!!!!! If people want to judge books by their covers then they are missing out on some good reads. Their loss so don't make it your loss. It can be rough at times for any person acne or not. we all have things in are life that bring out our insecurities. Just have some faith that there are people out there who are not shallow and who will appreciate the person you are in WHOLE.

Looks dont make a relationship...guys gotta have the goods nice hair, good dress sense or their own style, cracking banter, kind, thoughtful, not afraid to say what he feels. When i was younger looks were it all but thts not the case now obviously good lookin guys r tossers or dull. ) xx

I don't know if this helps, but one of the cutest boys I ever dated had really bad cystic acne. I didn't care at all. And it wasn't a thing of just being into him for his personality either. I was still into him for his looks. Not that I didn't like him but you know what I mean. We weren't really in love or anything. We were bar buddies who hooked up a lot after fun nights drinking and dancing, just for a little while. We really didn't have enough in common to make anything serious happen, but I thought he was gorgeous, cystic acne and all. His eyes, his smile... he was such a cutie!

The question I ask myself is, why can't I feel that way about myself?