My experiences in life - or lack of, as the case may be - and how I feel about myself are down to how I responded to having acne, not due to the acne itself. The only thing not having acne and not having to worry at all about my skin would give me is that sense of being like so many I know of who don't pay attention to what they eat or to maintaining a regimen and so on. It just takes that stress away I suppose, not having to give it any time or thought at all. Otherwise, everything else - lack of confidence, lack of self esteem, lack of experiences, lack of social life, feelings of loneliness and depression - is down to me. The acne may have been the reason to start with, but it just formed a series of habits and behaviours. Rather than facing up to that and tackling it, I placed all the blame on the acne and used it as a crutch. I let the acne dictate what I did and how I felt for so long that I genuinely have forgotten how to be in charge of and accountable for my own feelings and happiness. In that respect, you could give me the most perfect skin but it wouldn't actually change anything about me or the way I feel. It would probably give me a bit of confidence, taking away that main insecurity, but the rest of it is about my perception of myself and how I've been too scared to face up to my fears and make changes in life. The fear of failing or getting it wrong or being laughed at is what has stopped me for such a long time, and only by reaching a point where my skin has finally started to improve after thirteen years have I realised that they are in fact two separate issues and the acne is actually the smaller of the two. In fact, that one actually seems like the easiest to fix for me. With the self esteem and confidence issues, it feels like that's going to be quite a tough journey.lol dude, gtfo. I don't even get why you are here. Your pic shows no sign of acne, the aftermath or whatsoever, and you are here posting everyday. It's starting to annoy the shit outta me. What the hell is wrong with you? Maybe the thing you need is a haircut? Op, it is all about the confidence it gives, which is, in this case, feeling normal.
Wow.. way to tear someone down just because they finally found a successful treatment for their acne! Shouldn't we as members of an acne support site be happy for him? I can tell you that we would be for you when/if you conquer your acne as well. I personally think its admirable that PaulH85 takes the time to offer advice and support to others that are still suffering, he's seen the light at the end of the tunnel and is trying to give hope to others who haven't yet. Now to answer the question... Clear skin gives me the freedom and confidence for me to be ME. There is nothing more beautiful and valuable than that in the world!
i'm sorry but i don't even know how to feel happy for myself anymore.
I don't think putting others down is the answer.
)
Lately I have learned nobody really pays attention to your acne if they really care about you. They will just want to help you out. 
I listen to music when I start to feel down and want to pick (NO PICKING!) lol, it helps, and it is saving my face.
--STILL, we all want to have clear skin. It would be nice. 
So that I feel less stress over my looks.
I want to be able to go outside without any make up on and not care as much, I want to be able to go swimming and do things where I can leave my make up behind and not give a damn.
I want to feel better about myself and let that insecurity go.
To stop feeling paranoid that everyone is looking at the state of my skin and thinking things.
So that my make up looks good when it's on and not gross lol
I haven't scoured the topic, but I'm going to be brutally honest about my reasoning, I'm sure a lot of folks feel the same way as I do, but perhaps aren't ready to admit it. It comes down to one simple word: sex.
That may seem shallow, or even base, but it's more complex than it might seem. I want clear skin so that I can finally know what it like to be close to someone emotionally and physically. Why does sexuality matter so much, and why would I ever emphasize it over emotional intimacy, you might ask? I'm following what I consider to be a simple, logical formula: If my skin does not improve I will never feel comfortable entering into a sexual relationship.
The way I view this is why bother with a job? I'll have money, I'll have my own place, but I will be alone in that home because my acne will keep me from ever meeting that great love. Why bother getting fit? I could potentially be 'ripped', athletic, and even attract women, but I would never feel comfortable enough to remove my clothing. Why bother with dating? I could meet the love of my life, feel closer emotionally to her than I ever dreamed, but still, I would be too ashamed of my skin to ever take that relationship to a physical level. Which is unfair to both parties.
In summation, I see a relationship with someone as the end all-be all goal for me, but as long as I have body or facial acne I won't ever let my guard down long enough to kiss, touch, or anything more. In a scenario where my acne doesn't improve, I end up alone. So there would be no reason to make money, own a home, or be fit, as I'd have no one to share it with.
That may seem very negative, but it only underscores why I'm trying to fix my skin, so I don't end up in that worst case scenario. I don't want those negative elements to define my life, so hope against hope, I keep trying to clear my skin.
P.S. - It may seem like I put too much emphasis on relationships/etc, some will say you have to love yourself and so on. For the most part I do, except for this one aspect. I don't view another person as someone who will complete me, or some other such emotional neediness that suggests I'm not comfortable in my own skin (no pun intended ). It's simply a matter of why bother working myself to the bone if at the end of the day I have no one to spend the free time with?
I see where you're coming from, Ace. It probably sound more negative than you intended it to be when it written down, but I see your point. I often wonder about relationships and things like that, simply because I feel like I just don't understand it. I've no experience at all in that area and it all seems totally alien to me. I personally wouldn't say that it comes down to sex, but I totally agree that there are things you could do in life which may not seem entirely worthwhile if you don't have anyone to share them with.
There are a couple of good examples of that which I can think of in relation to myself. The main one is that I'm very skinny and don't like my body shape at all. I've weighed the same for many years and never seem to put on weight. I'm pretty sure that girls would prefer a guy who was bigger and a few have made fun of my lack of weight in the past which only serves to strengthen the idea that my lack of weight is off-putting. But for a long while, I never even attempted to do anything about it because I'd think, 'Even if I had a bigger or better looking body, I'd still have acne so the weight gain and so on would be wasted on me'.
Sure, that's a negative way to think and for all I know it might not be true, but at the same time, it seems perfectly logical. I reckon it makes total sense that something such as acne could get in the way like that, twist our thought processes and make other things seems unobtainable or perhaps even pointless. I certainly always saw my acne as being the first barrier I'd have to break down before I could start working on other things, so you're not on your own there.
As always Paul, you've cut to the heart of it. It's a motivational barrier, a matter of knowing no matter how far I get in life my own psychological issues relating to acne would ultimately hold me back from attaining happiness.
To clarify one aspect, I list sex as the primary motivator (rather than, say, love), if only because hypothetically I could experience emotional intimacy with a romantic partner without physicality. Yet I'd be lying if I said the idea of a purely emotional asexual relationship was an appealing concept. I don't think it's too much to say that I have the same basic needs as most of humanity, or that I strive for a life filled with memorable human experiences.
I see what you mean. Some people put more importance on the physical side of things than they do the emotional connection and some people see it the other way around. Either way, or even if it was an equal split, it's all interlinked and all part of the same thing. Whichever I put put first, it's a safe bet that I wouldn't be experiencing that if I wasn't experiencing the other, so to speak.
That's another example of a barrier - there would be no chance of a physical relationship with someone if we were unable to make any kind of approach in the first place because of whatever barrier was in the way. I think I put the emotional connection above the physical stuff because it seems like it would be a bigger achievement for me as getting to know someone and connecting with them is something I've never done. It seems like that would break down more barriers for me than a physical relationship would.
It's not even really about acne for me anymore in as much as that I'm pretty clear these days. The problem is that I always associated it with being ugly. I hate that word but it sums up how I saw myself specifically and how I felt. I saw my acne as being ugly and so it was as if it made me ugly by default. Ironically, having acne meant that I ultimately learned to look beyond it where other people are concerned and it would never be an issue for me at all as to whether a potential friend of partner had acne. I just couldn't see that other people - especially if they had great skin - would give me that same consideration and understanding. Even though the acne isn't really there now, I feel as though it might as well be and that it might as well be as bad as ever, in the sense that those negative feelings I have about myself are still as strong as ever and are now a huge barrier in their own right.
I knew those feelings would still be there though and I knew I wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to start tackling them and to start pulling some of those barriers down until my acne was clear. That way, it wouldn't be distracting me and I'd be free to work on repairing the damage to my confidence and so on. I wanted to get clear first so that I could start making changes. I guess that now I've achieved that, generally speaking, here's where the hard work starts.
I think it's fair to say that for many people their love life and reason for wanting clear skin are intrinsic to each other. Being able to love ones self is a monumental factor, but from my perspective it isn't a leap to say that we yearn for that self-acceptance so that others (IE future romantic partners, friends, etc) will embrace us on the level that we wish.
You've got a tricky road ahead of you, Paul, as do we all, but know that you already have a solid footing and head on your shoulders. Perhaps more importantly however... is that OmegaisJaded bangs guys who look just like you! Ha.
I gotta agree with you Ace.
So i have a good job, i love what i do, i like my body and have the potential to be ripped or whatever. I have the initiate and the drive to do whatever i set my mind to.. but i would have the hardest time actually coming to terms on whats on the outside when involved in a relationship to which ive never had. So i use that as a motivator. Live isnt suppose to be this hard-living alone, being alone. And i do have the choice..we all have a choice.. but you (especially me) cannot exercise comfortably my choice to be happy with someone else or find that someone unless i was 100% content with me as a whole. It comes down to sex really as you say even though i would take a close relationship over sex any day. I see what its like to be lonely in my job and i dont want that. And it sucks to come home to an empty house time after time.
So a person on the opposite end says "get you're ass up and do something about it" Yea i would normally do that, but i can be me..my unique self when i look the way i do.
So its like we just have to do the best we can that is all anyone can ask that is all we can ask of ourselves because after that its out of our hands. So you pray to god that the person you meet is able to put that all behind and love the person whose on the inside. We are a scarred people and cannot accept (because we dont want to) what we see as we want better and we know better. As long as the person on the opposite end sees that then, then its reassuring. Until then we fight and we dont always win but we remain strong and hope for the day when that just is overridden and doesn't matter.
Im srry for you as am i for everyone that wants to be free of this pain. I see people (and once was) one of those that had the idea that being clear would solve all the worlds problems and this was only temporary so i would act like i was the only one, screaming for some simple fix to get on with my life. Its not that simple. Its more than that and its selfish to think i have it worse than others. Its life long and life changing, just have to accept it and hopefully manage acne the best you can and try, try not to let it run you down. Hopefully their is a person that will understand all your pain and put you at ease so that you can live life as it should be.
I want clear skin simply because I would be confident without acne. I'm actually satisfied with my features overall, and with clear skin I think I'd be able to wear the stuff I want to wear and be the person I want to be. I love style and fashion but with my acne I feel like it's all just useless to me. It's kind of like an eighty-year-old guy wearing clothes from Zumiez. He'd look ridiculous. That's how I feel with acne. If I'm not attractive, why bother spending money and wearing nice clothes?
I made an account just to make this comment. I want clear skin because for half my life I haven't had a single day where my skin wasn't blemished or scarred. I wanna gain the confidence that I lost so long ago and be able to look people in the eye when I talk to them. I wanna be able to talk to girls again. So many times I've got a girl to be interested in me as well, but I was so disgusted by my acne and lack of self esteem I never bother to act on it. I wanna stop spending half an hour a day just to apply crap i dont want on my face. I'm glad that my acne hasnt made me shun my friends, and it probably never will, but it has nonetheless controlled my life since I was 9. I let being happy and confident slip away at such an early age I dont even remember what it feels like, just a shadow of that feeling remains that blows up in my face everytime I look in the mirror. It has twisted and changed my personality to somewhat of a cynical jerk who makes snide comments as a defense mechanism from people, which has made me despise my personality and body. Most importantly to be able to eat a whole lotta junk food without having my face turn into the remnants of Chernobyl over night.
hello! this is my first post. I want to have clear skin so I can feel better about myself again. For the past few years I've been pretty depressed over my skin pretty much hating my face. I've tried so many things to help clear my skin: cleansers, topicals , diet, antibiotics etc. that haven't worked. Then those days I'm feeling alright , any comment about my skin throws me off completely and I won't want to come into school the next day. On the plus side my skin has been a lot better recently and I'm mainly left with hyper pigmentation but it's completely changed me as a person and I'd like to be able to go out with my friends without feeling horrible
I want to WANT to have my picture taken again! I want to have sex with my boyfriend without feeling like I have to pile on make-up first. I want people to stop treating me like I have acne. When you look better, everything in life is easier. I know it was before I had acne, anyway.
So I can remember what it feels like to live
you can live with it and your going to have to learn to. IF you think you cant then you need to think of those that have terminal illnesses. They have too and they have a death sentence... acne isn't a death sentence.
So accept it, try to move on, and learn to live. You dont need to remember.
