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Staying off college again, stared at my face in the mirror in bright light and though "Nope, I can't deal with people will think". Hate being so self conscious. Hate having acne.
My skin is getting bad. So far, two people commented my skin.. my Father and a friend. They both said the similar.. "You stopped using your product?"
I did stopped using it like 2-3 months ago. I think my skin needs BP, but won't get any. I know your feelings. I wouldn't go to college if I had more than 20+ zits that very noticeable.
Quite down, not so much because of acne but because of a family event i was forced to go to social even where you are forced/expected to have fun and I realized how truly uncomfortable I am in social gatherings with new people, having to smile, chat and I feel so dirty. uh!
made me sad i'm still at that stage. Having my corner seat at uni i can deal with, noone expects you to actually have fun while studying, but social events, i still have a lot of work to do.
Quite down, not so much because of acne but because of a family event i was forced to go to social even where you are forced/expected to have fun and I realized how truly uncomfortable I am in social gatherings with new people, having to smile, chat and I feel so dirty. uh!
made me sad i'm still at that stage. Having my corner seat at uni i can deal with, noone expects you to actually have fun while studying, but social events, i still have a lot of work to do.
I always link those moments straight back to my skin. I can still have them when my skin's clear but those feelings of awkwardness instantly make me think about my skin regardless. But it's just a feeling. Unless that awkwardness manifests itself in physical ways, nobody can actually see it. I think it's really easy to forget that sometimes if we get wrapped up in it. Even if there are physical signs, it doesn't have to be a big deal.
I remember at a gig a couple of months ago, I ended up on stage and performed a couple of songs with the band. It was spur of the moment and I didn't think about to begin with, then half way through it kind of hit me; 'What am I doing up here? People can see me!' I started sweating and that was incredibly noticeable. When I left the stage, I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with water. With that physical sign removed, I was at ease again and I moved on from it. There was a time when I would have gotten really hung up on that, but it's just one of those things. The best way to approach these scenarios is to give ourselves a break.
I suppose that, just like any situation where you've work to do or can improve upon things, it gets easier or better the more you practice. It's tricky because the initial reaction is usually to shy away from the situations. That gig I mentioned is a perfect example because that was back in mid-January and whatever progress I made there has been pretty much lost now, owing to the fact that I haven't been out socially since then. Haven't really left the house much this month actually and, having stupidly picked like crazy over the weekend and made a bit of a mess of my face, I've been hiding away since then so I'm back to square one in terms of getting over that insecurity again in order to even be able to go out in public. If I'd have kept up with it in the past, I wouldn't have to keep building up to it now because it would have been a natural gain.
Don't feel sad about it. Look upon it as a piece of knowledge that you can use to take you forward. You can see where you're at and you've recognised that you'd like to be further ahead in the game. Now you can try and do the necessary work in order to achieve that.
Feeling better today.. my cheeks are getting clear, but there's one forming which isn't that big. My forehead is a mess though.. I have blackheads which are turning into zits. I see a lot of very tiny blackheads. So weird 'cause I never had it. I have like 12-13 zits on my forhead, they are all dried. I don't think I will break out on cheeks and near mouth for a while as I don't see anything forming. I gotta find a way to get rid of this blackheads naturally. I will do research later. It is almost summer, so I really want to be clear and enjoy it. I never had clear skin at all in the summer . =\
Quite down, not so much because of acne but because of a family event i was forced to go to social even where you are forced/expected to have fun and I realized how truly uncomfortable I am in social gatherings with new people, having to smile, chat and I feel so dirty. uh!
made me sad i'm still at that stage. Having my corner seat at uni i can deal with, noone expects you to actually have fun while studying, but social events, i still have a lot of work to do.
I always link those moments straight back to my skin. I can still have them when my skin's clear but those feelings of awkwardness instantly make me think about my skin regardless. But it's just a feeling. Unless that awkwardness manifests itself in physical ways, nobody can actually see it. I think it's really easy to forget that sometimes if we get wrapped up in it. Even if there are physical signs, it doesn't have to be a big deal.
I remember at a gig a couple of months ago, I ended up on stage and performed a couple of songs with the band. It was spur of the moment and I didn't think about to begin with, then half way through it kind of hit me; 'What am I doing up here? People can see me!' I started sweating and that was incredibly noticeable. When I left the stage, I went to the bathroom and splashed my face with water. With that physical sign removed, I was at ease again and I moved on from it. There was a time when I would have gotten really hung up on that, but it's just one of those things. The best way to approach these scenarios is to give ourselves a break.
I suppose that, just like any situation where you've work to do or can improve upon things, it gets easier or better the more you practice. It's tricky because the initial reaction is usually to shy away from the situations. That gig I mentioned is a perfect example because that was back in mid-January and whatever progress I made there has been pretty much lost now, owing to the fact that I haven't been out socially since then. Haven't really left the house much this month actually and, having stupidly picked like crazy over the weekend and made a bit of a mess of my face, I've been hiding away since then so I'm back to square one in terms of getting over that insecurity again in order to even be able to go out in public. If I'd have kept up with it in the past, I wouldn't have to keep building up to it now because it would have been a natural gain.
Don't feel sad about it. Look upon it as a piece of knowledge that you can use to take you forward. You can see where you're at and you've recognised that you'd like to be further ahead in the game. Now you can try and do the necessary work in order to achieve that.
thanks paul.
sick and tired of having to love myself, or learning to love mself. why can't someone love me and help me through the pain; why do others get that priviledge.
sick and tired of having to love myself, or learning to love mself. why can't someone love me and help me through the pain; why do others get that priviledge.
I often think that - 'All it would take is for someone to come along and show me different; for someone to let me know that what I'm thinking is not actually how things are; to show me I am lovable'. I'd like to think it would work but I'm not entirely sure. I mean, if someone came to me today and made a move or whatever, there's no way that would go anywhere. If they said nice things or complimented my appearance, there's no way I would believe them because I feel the polar opposite inside. At best, I'd play it down or laugh it off. In that respect, we probably do have to love ourselves at least a little so that we begin to feel better in ourselves. Maybe then it is possible to see at least a glimmer of what others might see in us. I'll get around to it eventually, I hope. It kind of seems too much like hard work sometimes... 
Not so much acne, but a response to picking. Just been feeling down these last few days I guess, and bored. Spent over an hour in front of the mirror this morning, picking at the odd lump or bump. There was nothing there really but now it's a mess, especially my right cheek which is pretty inflamed. Not a smart move at all. I wouldn't mind, but it's not as if I actually like what I see in the mirror. I could understand it if I was vain and I was admiring how I looked, but I hate how I look and I never like what's staring back at me, yet I can never seem to tear myself away from the mirror. Very strange. Still, onwards and upwards...
I always look in the mirror and search for tiny bumps (my skin color) That indicates that it will form.. sometimes it doesn't.. I can also tell if it will be big or small. I seems to always do that. I gotta stop! ^^;; As of now, I searched and I don't see a lot of those bumps that may form.. I probably saw like 10-11, but they're so tiny and not noticeable. but might get inflamed.
Hopefully I get 3-4 out of 10 or w.e
Oh, and I do have redness and some zits.. I broke out with big zits, so it takes a while to heal ;\ Pretty sure there's way more than 10.. but I don't feel like counting.
I'm still having a breakout and today I was looking at a friend's flawless skin and feeling quite miserable. Just...whyyyyyyyyy
Sometimes I wanna ask her what exactly she does and eats and I wonder if I'd get good skin like hers, if I copied her.
Lol.. everyone is different
i've noticed that if i find one of those bumps, i can pre-empt it by icing the spot. this sometimes will reduce the size and length of time it will show up for, and has even totally stopped it from forming a couple times.
the icing technique is to take an ice cube and put it on the skin directly, but always keep it moving. circle around the spot.
Today. My skin isn't perfect, but it's good enough. As long as I don't have any cysts, I'm comfortable with it.
Also, I'm stoked. I grew out a beard about a week and a half ago, and it hasn't spawned any breakouts. Watch out!! my manliness is increased by at least 10X!!!! mahahahaha
Not so much acne, but a response to picking. Just been feeling down these last few days I guess, and bored. Spent over an hour in front of the mirror this morning, picking at the odd lump or bump. There was nothing there really but now it's a mess, especially my right cheek which is pretty inflamed. Not a smart move at all. I wouldn't mind, but it's not as if I actually like what I see in the mirror. I could understand it if I was vain and I was admiring how I looked, but I hate how I look and I never like what's staring back at me, yet I can never seem to tear myself away from the mirror. Very strange. Still, onwards and upwards...
I always look in the mirror and search for tiny bumps (my skin color) That indicates that it will form.. sometimes it doesn't.. I can also tell if it will be big or small. I seems to always do that. I gotta stop! ^^;; As of now, I searched and I don't see a lot of those bumps that may form.. I probably saw like 10-11, but they're so tiny and not noticeable. but might get inflamed.
I'm still having a breakout and today I was looking at a friend's flawless skin and feeling quite miserable. Just...whyyyyyyyyy
Sometimes I wanna ask her what exactly she does and eats and I wonder if I'd get good skin like hers, if I copied her.
Lol.. everyone is different
i've noticed that if i find one of those bumps, i can pre-empt it by icing the spot. this sometimes will reduce the size and length of time it will show up for, and has even totally stopped it from forming a couple times.
the icing technique is to take an ice cube and put it on the skin directly, but always keep it moving. circle around the spot.
Today. My skin isn't perfect, but it's good enough. As long as I don't have any cysts, I'm comfortable with it.
Also, I'm stoked. I grew out a beard about a week and a half ago, and it hasn't spawned any breakouts. Watch out!! my manliness is increased by at least 10X!!!! mahahahaha
I don't even know how crysts look like at all.. ha ha.. I always thought it means a big pimple or something? not sure. Anyways, my skin looks better during this hour (in the evening) The sun makes my skin look awful with all this scars. >_>;; My skin is doing better now.. my cheek is almost clear and the redness is almost gone.. I love aloe vera!! It does a good job getting rid or reduce redness. My forehead looks OK since the zits that I couldn't hide have minimized ^^;; I can manage to hide the other ones with my hair. Sucks that I can't get a haircut until it is calmed.. I still see blackheads.. so not sure when I will have clear forehead. It is weird 'cause I never break out on my forehead at all..Oh well@!
I'm glad redness on my cheeks is fading slowly. I love aloe vera (fresh) I think blackheads got smaller, but many of them turned into little tiny zits that isn't inflamed yet. hopefully it doesn't.. My skin feels smooth. I think green smoothies help 'cause everything my skin looks bad.. I drink green smoothies everyday. I'm just going to drink green smoothies even if I am clear to prevent breakouts ;\
Acne kinda got worse with new medication today, but, what the heck i still went out and tried my best to enjoy myself. Turned out the day was alot better than i thought, even though my friends joked about my acne, it didnt matter they're friends. It's difficult but i'm trying really hard to prevent acne overwhelming my life.
My skin is now at war with acne a wall which my face is losing since there is more red marks, scars, pimples and cysts that cover my face than my actual skin... However, i'm feeling fine today I went out, I chilled out with my friends and i've had a good day. So Acne: 0 - Me: 1, if i can't beat this skin disease physically, i won't let it beat me mentally!
I've been playing video games all day to ignore my zits.. it works for me.. 
I need to stop playing games and study though.. I've been earning all A's .. and I think I won't this time because of this break outs out of no where 
. My skin looks good, so I am going to stop playing games.. I am going to read, study, and exercise instead of video gaming since it isn't very bad
Mehhh...even though I'm seeing improvement I still feel like crap because I just want CLEAR skin!!! But today I teared up a bit since my dad had to remind me about my acne with some comment he said regarding peanuts (which I never wanted any but he offered...weird) and how when he had "acne" like me he couldn't eat them, nothing mean but it reminded me how acne makes you feel like crap and how depressed it has made me :/
I like to post everyday how my skin is, so I can look back once I am clear. I will also know how long it took me to get clear. Anyways, My skin is very smooth, always have been, but I broke out with some ugly pimples on my forehead which takes a while to heal, sucks that I can't get a haircut this summer. I have blackheads on my forehead and it never seems to go away. Still the same size. I do breakout under blackheads. Luckily, my forehead isn't covered with pimples, but still ugly as I have like 4-5 ugly pimples. My hair can cover most.. xcept one. Wearing hat helps a lot.I dunno if i had blackheads before.. I never noticed it. They're very tiny. I need to do research how long it take for blackheads to vanish and how to get rid of them naturally. The blackheads looks a lot like scars.. Basically, it looks like a scar with a black mark or something.
Got a few pimples around my jaw over the past couple of weeks. Scars and red marks are fading, but still there. It doesn't bother me. People still treat me the same and that's a huge confidence booster. Whenever I look in the mirror, it's very hard to ignore my acne, but I just simply go out and have fun. Acne doesn't stop me from living my life, but it's not easy when talking to the hottest girl in school. Overall, my daily routine is just the usual scrub and cream, it works for me and I love it. On the path to a clear face. It's a bumpy one, but I won't give up until I have the face that I want.
Today, my skin feels much smoother when I touch it . I think it is calmed.. I have like 4-5 active pimples and the rest are red, but fading pretty quickly. My forehead looks bad, but my hair covers it well so ya. I stopped applying aloe vera on entire face.. I only apply on redness and scars. I use raw apple cider vinegar on entire face. It works well for me 
Please God, I hope not to break out! I know it will take a while for my forehead to be clear I think scars will be pretty bad. I guess no haircut this summer.. I really want to enjoy the summer. ha ha.
Didn't get any new breakouts at all! Last week was pretty bad, broke out with like 5-6 pimples. This week was good.. only had 1-2 breakouts. It is calmed.. I know this 'cause my skin feels very smooth. I don't complain about my forehead because my hair covers the pimples but there's 2-3 that I can't cover, but I wear hat
I wear hat because the sun.. It's been pretty sunny these days. I have like 5 on besides forehead. 2 of them are slightly active. It sucks though having 3-5 pimples 'cause the sun makes your skin look bad. ;\ But the hat saves me I don't have acne anywhere on my body, like back, etc.. so I am pretty happy with that! I remember I had a lot on my back.. ;|