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I don't know why, but I always feel better about my acne in the evening. It's during the day that I get anxious about it and just want to hide. I'm working on that, though. I'm trying to let my skin clear while living life to the fullest at the same time. I straightened my hair, did my makeup tonight etc. and to my happiness, felt attractive 
Even though my skin might not be perfectly clear right now, it's getting there and I'm really glad I can still feel pretty while dealing with this problem. I'm just waiting to see major improvements, which I know will not happen overnight. I've been taking Monodox twice a day religiously and using the Epiduo at night, so I HAVE to see some results at some point. I'm just waiting for the 1st month to be up so I can start seeing some visible improvements (though I think some fading has already occurred).
In the end, I know everything will be okay and my skin will be better again. I just need to keep telling myself it's a temporary problem only.
Things have gone downhill this week and I'm not entirely sure why. Was close to six weeks since my last breakout and now I've tiny pimples popping up here and there. Might not be so bad, only I ended up front of the mirror last night and this morning which of course resulted in things being made twice as worse, red and sore. I was supposed to be meeting up with a girl tomorrow and I started getting anxious about it earlier in the week, started heading to the mirror more. Perhaps the anxiety has bothered my skin. Whatever, I feel pretty down now and I'm not happy with my skin so I won't be going out. I'm totally sure that on some level, I've engineered the whole thing in order to create some stupid reason not to go and in order to justify not going. Same old story. A week ago I was up for it, now I just feel ugly and pathetic. I don't even think acne's at the root of those feelings, it's just me being so damn insecure and paranoid. Hate feeling this way but I always seem to fall into these habits whenever something social comes up. I'm never going to get anywhere if I don't break this pattern or stop falling into that trap, but I don't even have a clue where to start. 
Feeling pretty good about it today. The past few days have been much, MUCH better in comparison to last week when I was literally crying in between classes because of my skin. I can see an improvement in my skin - it's gradual, but it's there. My red marks are starting to fade, especially on my left side, which honestly does not look bad at all right now. I haven't gotten any big zits in the past few days which is great! So right now, my skin is actually "clear" excluding the fact that I have these marks. Annoying, but I have to deal with it I guess. I might look into getting a chemical peel over spring break or something to see if that helps. In the mean time, though, I can see the medications working with each passing day and I think within the next month I'll see a lot of improvement. I'm optimistic about it!
And also on the plus side, my makeup's looking better lately too. I think my skin has finally adjusted to the medications, so it doesn't look so cakey anymore and it conceals quite smoothly. After five or six hours it doesn't look as good, but I just have to usually wipe off and re apply, which only takes a few minutes. All in all, I'm happy right now despite any imperfections I might have.
I've engineered the whole thing in order to create some stupid reason not to go and in order to justify not going. Same old story.
Don't do it! I mean, do it! GO ON THE DATE. If you cancel, she will think your not into her...
As for me... Feeling creative/erratic. The only thing on my face that really can't be covered is a rather sharp looking zit on my upper lip. It's exactly where you would get the marilyn pearcing... So from far away, it looks like I have a sweet beauty mark. Debating if I'd feel any more insecure about it if I penciled it in black....
Bad. I broke out bad with small zits after a year or two of having nice skin. I stopped using proactiv 2 months ago which has been helping me a lot, but I thought because I am a vegan who eats mostly raw food, I won't break out.. and it was true until now. I am not sure if it is because my skin needs BP or something. My right side near my lips looks bad in the sun. Lots of zits... not big, kinda small.. It is this small: o.Well, a little smaller. I'm getting new zits every day, like 2-3 in the right side area near mouth. I can't seem to control it.. I wonder if Apple cider vinegar can help? Along with aloe vera (fresh) ?
PS: I Stopped using BP cause I didn't want chemical on my face anymore.
Just when I thought it was gettnig better. Well, y cheeks are just...not attractive at the moment, crusty whitehead tops and a few pink lumps.....but whatever My forhead has so amny bumps on it, even if theyre not colored....I actualyl only have liek 4 redish ones but in the sun its WOW. Ugh, alto have whiteheads that need to be popped and makeups not worknig right nowww
Ugh..I wish I had good genes so I wouldn't have to deprive myself in foods and makeup, I would enjoy life without any eliminations.
I've engineered the whole thing in order to create some stupid reason not to go and in order to justify not going. Same old story.
Don't do it! I mean, do it! GO ON THE DATE. If you cancel, she will think your not into her...
As for me... Feeling creative/erratic. The only thing on my face that really can't be covered is a rather sharp looking zit on my upper lip. It's exactly where you would get the marilyn pearcing... So from far away, it looks like I have a sweet beauty mark. Debating if I'd feel any more insecure about it if I penciled it in black....
Yeah, do yourself a favor, go out on the date, and have some fun. Acne is not the end of the world. Believe me, it could be worse. Scars are permanent where acne is not. I remember liking this girl, I kept standing her up or telling her I was going to come see her, and make excuses cause of how shitty my skin was though, I always made up a lame excuse. I wanted to see her and be my best but, I could never be that me cause, I was too busy criticizing myself. I ended up visiting her and she was shocked. We ended up dating that week.
What I found out was that, she thought I didn't think she was attractive or I didn't like her which was far from the truth. Insecurities, negativity, and low self esteem chases good things away. It is even worse if you are a guy cause, we are expected to be macho, masculine, and not giving a fuck about these petty little things though we really really do.
Crappy. I don't have it as horrible as some people, but my forehead is like zit city at the moment. I have blackheads forming on my chin, and I just feel disgusting.
I know the feeling and the insecurities but, someone will like and love you regardless. Just be happy they are not scars and get help before that shit happens god forbid.
Feeling really good about it today I have no active pimples right now! Only red marks. My skin feels smooth to the touch, and the marks are, as always, gradually fading. My makeup looked really good today and lasted for a long time, too, without needing another application. I just feel really good about my appearance right now in comparison to 2 weeks ago! I'm excited to see what the progress will continue to be a month or so from now.
Yeah, do yourself a favor, go out on the date, and have some fun. Acne is not the end of the world.
I didn't go in the end. It was a pretty casual and we hadn't made plans, so at least I don't have to feel guilty about cancelling. All she said was, "Let me know if you go (to see a band at a bar she was going to) and I'll see you there". I sent her a message saying I couldn't make it but that we could meet up another time if she wants. I guess if she says yes then I'll know she's interested and I'll just have to brave it.
The thing is, my skin isn't bad at all. It was a little broken out a few days ago but even that wasn't especially noticeable and I shouldn't have made such an issue out of it in my head. Fast-forward to today and it's perfectly fine. I've got the odd mark here or there but no active acne and nothing going on at all. But this time last week, I started getting worked up as I anticipated going out on Saturday and that probably triggered the breakout, then I purposely started making it worse and was essentially looking to create a reason in my mind not to go.
I've no idea why I did that because it goes against the two things I wanted - for my skin to look good and to meet up with that girl and see how we got on. My insecurities are a given but I didn't think they were actually that bad to the point where I could get so anxious and self-conscious enough to derail the progress I'd made over the last five weeks, then end up sat at home all weekend, staring in the mirror and worrying about something that was barely even there to begin with.
Man, it sucks cause, I did the samething, flaked or stood her up sort of. Just made up lame excuses so, she now is seeing someone and the guy is into drugs or abuses her. Its unreal what I lose the girl to but, I guess it makes me stronger like I was saying to a girl in a message. Man, I am happy you don't battle scars and shit. That stuff blows but, BX says it makes him look more like the bad ass that he is. Jeeze, I miss that guy and I mean to send him a message. You guys are my favorite posters here and the girl I mentioned.
I think being not so hard on ourselves, taking risks, and accepting the things that are instead of what could or might be. One of the thing that gives and keeps me hopeful is the fact that I met a girl like I mentioned at my worse and we still hit it off. Having a sex life and dating again, having a gf and just living would be a nice change. Part of me feels like, if a break up happens, I would be even worse off then I am now. I still need to live life, take more chances, and be a bad ass like you and BX, acne or not acne, scars or no scars.
today i lost my student ID (now my *work* ID) and i had to have it replaced. they asked if i wanted to take a new picture or use the old one, saved in the system, from when i was a fresh faced, tan 18 year old. it was taken on my first day of school at university... of course, I chose to keep the old photo!
*looks down at ID*
ugh.
it sucks to be 28 and realize that i hated myself when i had such a fresh, youthful glow. such minimal acne.
feelin pretty crappy about that today... but you know what i realized? ten years from now, when i turn 38, i don't want to look back at a picture of me today and regret how i was treating myself. i can't fix my acne all that much. but i can keep trying.
and i can definitely try to stop hating myself for something i can't control.
Wow! I made a post on 28th and it is 31st and my skin is much better now.My skin was terrible!!! most zits have vanished. I do have some red spot.. but my skin is getting clear again Also, I am sure aloe vera will help reduce redness and prevent scars.. I feel better now.. more confident now. I used aloe vera on my entire face twice a day.. I guess it works pretty well. I still break out, but not a lot like 3-4 days ago. I'm glad nomore BP for me. 
I stopped applying the lotion 3-4 days ago. Finally done with chemicals on my skin.
today i lost my student ID (now my *work* ID) and i had to have it replaced. they asked if i wanted to take a new picture or use the old one, saved in the system, from when i was a fresh faced, tan 18 year old. it was taken on my first day of school at university... of course, I chose to keep the old photo!
*looks down at ID*
ugh.
it sucks to be 28 and realize that i hated myself when i had such a fresh, youthful glow. such minimal acne.
feelin pretty crappy about that today... but you know what i realized? ten years from now, when i turn 38, i don't want to look back at a picture of me today and regret how i was treating myself. i can't fix my acne all that much. but i can keep trying.
and i can definitely try to stop hating myself for something i can't control.
I feel you! I know a lot of us are doing research , etc.. and learning. That's good though!! That we get into a healthy lifestyle to improve our skin. I'm a vegan who eats mainly raw because of skin problems, but I care a lot about animals so that's the main reason why I went vegan. I'm happy 'cause I am saving a lot of animals a year. Keep trying! I hope I am close to stop getting acne.. I am 25. My dad stopped getting acne into his 20's and so my grandpa,etc. I can't wait for this to happen. 
Feeling really good about it today
That's good to hear!! I hope it stays that way.
