Acne.org Products
Last week was horrible. Felt a cyst forming deep under my skin on the cheekbone 8 days ago. I knew this would be nasty. 5 days ago, it had grown into a nickel sized monster and I Iooked like the character from the Saw movies. This was the day I had to give a very big presentation at the office. I went to work dressed sharp in a suit with a HUGE cyst on my cheekbone. Stood in front of the boardroom and tried by best to show my "good" side to the folks there. The yesterday and the day before I had to go out with family and friends on a 2 day trip. Didn't enjoy it one bit although nobody mentioned the huge zit (even the little kids knew enough to be quiet about it), but I felt like everyone was staring at it all the time.
Tried out rosehip oil as I heard it is good for scarring (my scarring is very light so I was hoping it could help even a bit...). A week later I am now dealing with the consequences. Tiny little red pimples all on the areas where I applied it (cheeks) Heck, I even have a big zit on my NECK, where I didn't apply it, and where I never get zits. I am done putting anything on my face. Going to just wash my face with distilled water. If I don't put anything on it I can't make it worse I suppose. I am starting to think I am morphing into a zit. Like, I don't just have zits, I am one. One big walking, talking zit. Ok, I think I'm going crazy. Please excuse me.
I've been avoiding this website like the plague as I tend to fixate but i just had to come back to vent. My skin situation is getting worse day by day. I thought nothing could be worse than acne but having dermatitis too is too much. My skin is dry no matter how much moisturizer I use, red and broken out. I look bloody awful. I am 3 days in the SCD for leaky gut. I can't use any topicals at all due to the dermatitis and I have cysts on my neck.
People talk about it getting better. I've had 16 years dealing with this on and off and I've honestly lost all hope of it ever getting better. I'm numb to the whole situation. I wish I could go back in time and never have begun using treatments for my acne -maybe it would have gone away on its own like everyone else in my family.
I hardly come on this site anymore.. Because my skin is doing well! I put concealer on one tiny, yet vibrant, red scar and im good to go! Im very red cheeked, but I think it's just something i need to live with.. My female friend even asked me if I was wearing blusher yesterdah which was upsetting.. But then she carried on to say how jealous she was and how I looked healthy compared to how pale she was!
Very fed up. My face is just one big mass of acne, scars, marks and enlarged pores. Make-up really just makes it look worse, so I'm a bit lost as to what to do really. I'm undergoing what scar treatments I've been recommended (TCA cross and dermapen), but if they're making any difference it's only minor. My skin tone and texture, in general and all over, is still terrible. Continuing on with this seemingly endless battle is getting very disheartening. At 26 I assumed the acne stage of things might at least be over with, but apparently that's not to be! If my face would at least stop breaking out, then I could look towards fixing some of the damage left behind rather than gaining new scars to add to the already existing collection :/
I don't even feel sad about my skin today. When I look at my reflection I feel a throbbing numbness that makes me ache. I hate that even when I can't see my acne, I can still FEEL it, sitting there. How can something so seemingly insignificant make a person experience such dark feelings, thoughts? I hate the society that we live in.
I used to come on this site and to look at what people think and say about acne, how they live with it... etc
But today I've decided to vent. I'm feeling down today... A few years and even a few months ago, I used to have more acne on my face, and even in my back (I have a lot in my back). I would have new pimples, whiteheads... etc EVERYDAY.
Then I started taking zinc and a different way of contraception, and it calmed down. I also started being careful at what I ate ("you are what you eat"), and it's better ! But I have pre-period/period breakouts. Soemtimes I even have breakouts and I don't even know why. For a week my clear would be clear (I always have red marks due to past breakouts) and then it would look horrible.
When I have breakouts I feel awful.. Once you look at yourself with a "clear" skin, you are SO happy that you're depressed when a new breakout appears. I think that the most hurting thing is all my little cousin (children) staring at me asking "why do you have pimples ?" "it's ugly". OK they're very young and they don't know what they're saying, but omg it makes me feel down because then I think "wow, my pimples are so visible..."
I have to confess that it can be nothing for some of you. Some of you are living so worst... But I think that we shouldn't judge us on that, we should know that EVERYONE has its own level of sensitivity
Feeling crappy. It's been 16 years of this crap and once again, I am on another 'worse before it gets better' regimen. I am so physically, mentally and financially exhausted from dealing with this. 11 days into Spiro@ 50 mg and my initial breakout has hit me hard. I'm literally too tired to cry. I feel embarrassed about what my skin has become and i feel like 1/2 a woman. I feel so unattractive....... I definitely don't want ti be dealing with this in my 40's.....sigh. If anyone can relate, feel free to PM -could use the encouragement.
I feel generally better today than I have done for a while, although the trick is of course to not get carried away. A break out will come sooner or later: I am sure of the cycle repeating itself.
Im using right now a combination of 5% BP and Trias blue light Clearing Device. Its quite drying and the Tria cartridges are expensive as hell, but it does seem to be preventing any major breakouts right now.
I freaked recently and got really depressed when I saw that my skin was starting to scar. There are a few, indented dark marks, one particularly noticeable one on my left cheekbone. However, I will NOT have any work done on the scars, they are a symbol and pertinent reminder and general anguish and misery that acne has brought me throughout my youth.
I have a derm appointment in one month, roaccutane is looking the most likely option. Im a bit nervous about going on it having read about the links to depression etc, but Ive tried about a gazillion topicals and loads of antibiotics, yet here I am. Im willing to gamble on this so called miracle drug: my last resort.
I don't even feel sad about my skin today. When I look at my reflection I feel a throbbing numbness that makes me ache. I hate that even when I can't see my acne, I can still FEEL it, sitting there. How can something so seemingly insignificant make a person experience such dark feelings, thoughts? I hate the society that we live in.
Numb too. It's as if acne has ruined me completely.
Acne is horrible but it has been worse. I hate the fact that i have acne but hating myself less. CBT has helped me to somewhat separate me (as a person with feelings, ideas and a lot to offer) from my acne. I've come to realize that whether or not people notice does not have to affect me as much as it does. The world continues whether or not I have acne.
Still hoping though that one day it will become the lowest thing on my to do list.
It's because acne is not insignificant. Society treats people with problems like skin diseases like shit. Hell, if you have anything wrong with you that is considered "abnormal" you will be treated like shit.
This is the main problem. Beauty standards don't really exist in nature, people. It's all between our ears. That's why they change all the time.
Ive come to realize that as much as we try to say what others think doesnt matter. We know deep down inside it does and its what shapes the way we feel about our acne. To be honest, many days I think I look pretty darn good. Ive come a long way in the past year from the horrible outbreaks I used to have . My skin actually feels smooth when I touch it. However, the open pores/scarring looks very bad to others. I dont look in the mirror and cringe. I think I look cute. But then I step outside, I get the stares. Not just a glance. But a stare that when you turn around, you see the person still staring at you. I get to sit all by myself plenty of times...the hugs that indicate "dont get too close". Thats when I feel down about my acne.
HORRIBLE. I've been on tazorac for a week but my skin has already broken out in numerous cysts all over my jaw, chin and forehead. I'm getting a constant headache because they're all painful and itchy at the same time.
I dread going out. I dread seeing my boyfriend. I dread doing anything social. I wish I could go to sleep for three months and stay in until my skin clears. This sucks. I hate it so much.