On my way to work today I made the mistake to look into the car's mirror and I almost had a nervous breakdown. After accutane my main problem are scars right now. My face just looks like the surface of the moon. I also have a few zits at the moment, but considering how I've been treating my skin the last week I need not be surprised. On Tuesday I ate lunch at McDonalds, and on every other day I had some kind of candy. Yesterday and the day before I went to bed without cleaning my skin (not on purpose, I fell asleep before I could do it, because I was super exhausted). I work as a receptionist for a big company and I have to sit at the entrance in bright light all day long and greet everyone openly with a big smile, when all I really wanna do is crawl into the next hole and die 
Cried over my skin today. I suppose it's normal for me to feel completely mental right now as I have recently quit my birth control and am on antibiotics (and was also on prednisone) for a bad throat infection. My mind feels gone, I feel so out of it and exhausted from my illness, and looking at my bad skin makes me feel so fucking hopeless. I keep telling myself to snap out of it but this depression has a hold of me. I need a hug. Sometimes I wish my husband had shitty skin too so we could commiserate. That's terrible of me to say but I have nobody in person to relate to. It's lonely and I feel like a freak. I just want this to get better so I can get on with my life.
Sometimes you just have to take things one day at a time. Don't think about tomorrow. It is hard when you have no one else in real life who is going through what you're going through. I find journaling helps.
Hugs from NY
Skin is horrible as usual. Not moderate but definitely not mild. I have big lumpy bumps on my left cheek that have no head, are red and scabby looking. They itch too. The right side of my mouth is a mass of pimples with pus in them so hopefully this means they'll be going away soon. I also have smaller implies all over the rest of my face though they are not very prominent yet. I'm struggling to get back on the healthy eating path, especially since my skin doesn't seem to be responding. I know I need to though so I trying to not beat myself up when I do mess up. I recently purchased another book about acne and I will be implementing the advice there gradually. My skin care is also about to change so we'll see how that goes.
I am contemplating whether or not to take a break from my derm, especially with my recent issues with my insurance. I would hate to have another wasted summer hiding in my home. That would make 5 summers wasted on acne...boo hoo!
I've been having a pretty okay week dealing with my skin, however yesterday I practically broke down as I was trying to get ready, applying makeup. Nothing stresses me out more than putting makeup on my skin. It reminds me that I can't be like other girls who can feel pretty with their makeup on while I don't feel like I can't cover the damage on my face. It really isn't fair.
Today I broke down a little. I've been deciding to let go of certain people in my life that have proved to be emotionally unhealthy for me to deal with. I just don't have that strength, care, or even patience with people's stupid, ignorant, and inconsiderate behavior and I really don't need all that drama in my life, especially not now. So yes, it's been hard to do but I'm hoping to meet better people later in life.
Lately life has been less enjoyable as before and it starting to feel like stressful work to get through everyday. With a lower self-confidence, I'm beginning to feel like there are so many things wrong with me, so as a result I have resorted to a healthier diet and I have been avoiding a lot of food that I really enjoyed before which is at times difficult. I have also been exercising a lot more. (If I can't have a nice face, why can't I at least have a nice body right?). I also avoid going out a lot so I don't have to deal with the stress of trying to get ready, being in bright lighting, and being exposed to the suns harmful rays. I'm extremely antisocial now. I hide away from mirrors or any reflective thing as much as I can.
I just feel like life is so much more demanding now and it's really killing me to fulfill everything that I need to do now. In a way it might be a better lifestyle, but I just feel so unhappy now and I feel like my acne scars are controlling my life now. I literally have to think what is best for me and my skin before I do anything and most of the time it's just not fun and I'm so paranoid all the time thinking about it.
I really wish that I had never gotten acne. My life would be a lot less stressful and I have so many issues now because of it. I've become a whole different person and I don't like it. So to answer your question, that is how I feel about my acne today.
After years of just using over the counter cream and ignoring my acne I finally decided to visit a doctor today. I realized that even though I tried to ignore it, it was really affecting me emotionally. Every time I looked in the mirror or when my friend's took pictures I felt terrible while looking at myself and realize that repressing these feelings is not healthy. The doctor prescribed some stuff and hopefully this will finally control it. I know these scars will remain but I am not willing to let acne also scar my self-esteem forever.
I am feeling fairly optimistic again. Tomorrow is 13 weeks into my new regimen of pH balancing. I've been using the cerave foaming cleanser and have not seen any breakouts from it, so I will continue to use. I am still using Paula's Choice 2% clear BHA and have found it seems much more effective than before since my cleanser switch. I'm happy about that. I have incorporated the 1% retinol, 2% BHA liquid and 10% AHA (glycolic acid) into a rotation. Still using the Cerave pm moisturizer which hasn't caused me any problems. I have not experienced breakouts or clogged pores (like the Paula's hydralight lotion). I really wish Paula would put her items into a lower pH range! I would like to use a few of her cleansers and toners but they are all higher than they should be 
Anyways, this regimen seems to be working for me. My skin has been purging out and I have gotten spots everywhere my skin was congested. It's getting better, though, and I can tell it is working because on areas i am not breaking out, my pores are clean looking and hardly noticeable. I still have a ways to go, but this has given me some hope to push on... Also, my son was prescribed benzaclin, so I have been using a tiny bit as spot treatment while my skin transitions from the other products. It's been working great.
I don't know if it's the acne or just me (sometimes I get like this) but I've just been feeling really down and worried. For my skin I used to be depressed over my red marks, but just decided to deal with them because they will fade away eventually and I don't really care about what most people in my school think anyways. Just hoping everything will be alright with my skin before college. My skins been doing amazing these past couple months, perfectly clear, apart from two white heads and the red marks. I'm super scared and stressing myself out that the acne is going to come back though. I'm stopping my antibiotic for my acne soon and I know most people don't stay too clear when stopping antibiotics :/
Terrible.
After 2 courses of accutane you get to taste how liberating and free it feels to have pretty clear skin. Almost eurphoric. So when the acne comes back it feels worse emotionally than before the accutane even though it probably isnt actually worse.
Then today its just all hit me at once. My skin is pretty bad right now and I dont know why. I do everything by the book. Got differin as maintenence and I cant see it doing anything. Yes its only been 18 days but how did my skin get so clogged anyway? I only got off accutane 2 months ago.
Just feel so exhausted and hopeless by it all today it truly has hit me that accutane will never fix me and my diets ridiculously good and my skincare routine is what everyone else here does.
Terrible.
After 2 courses of accutane you get to taste how liberating and free it feels to have pretty clear skin. Almost eurphoric. So when the acne comes back it feels worse emotionally than before the accutane even though it probably isnt actually worse.
Then today its just all hit me at once. My skin is pretty bad right now and I dont know why. I do everything by the book. Got differin as maintenence and I cant see it doing anything. Yes its only been 18 days but how did my skin get so clogged anyway? I only got off accutane 2 months ago.
Just feel so exhausted and hopeless by it all today it truly has hit me that accutane will never fix me and my diets ridiculously good and my skincare routine is what everyone else here does.
I definitely can relate to this. After my first two courses my sin was amazing - a non issue. Then in 2011, it came back. It's been a nightmare since. I'm 31 and acne is my sole bane in life. I'm at a point where my skin can't even tolerate topicals anymore. I am so discouraged.
I read about everyone finding their HG and then there's me. I especially don't see many members that joined around the same time I did. The realization just makes me sad and no amount of prayer, bargaining, wishing or hoping will change the fact that my skin will never make a comeback. I'm not stressed though - just done
Honestly not feeling so great. I've been using the regimen for 3 months, and although I've stopped breaking out as badly, I still get a few pimples and the red marks left behind are almost worse than the acne itself. My self esteem has hit an all time low, and I hate that I'm 19 and suffering from acne when all throughout high school my skin was flawless
I hate having to wear foundation to cover up my face too, especially since it's summer. I miss not wearing makeup and feeling beautiful. I miss going to the beach without feeling insecure because my face has these acne marks all over. I hate that I dont enjoy going to the beach with my friends because I'm so mortified.
Terrible.
After 2 courses of accutane you get to taste how liberating and free it feels to have pretty clear skin. Almost eurphoric. So when the acne comes back it feels worse emotionally than before the accutane even though it probably isnt actually worse.
Then today its just all hit me at once. My skin is pretty bad right now and I dont know why. I do everything by the book. Got differin as maintenence and I cant see it doing anything. Yes its only been 18 days but how did my skin get so clogged anyway? I only got off accutane 2 months ago.
Just feel so exhausted and hopeless by it all today it truly has hit me that accutane will never fix me and my diets ridiculously good and my skincare routine is what everyone else here does.
I definitely can relate to this. After my first two courses my sin was amazing - a non issue. Then in 2011, it came back. It's been a nightmare since. I'm 31 and acne is my sole bane in life. I'm at a point where my skin can't even tolerate topicals anymore. I am so discouraged.
I read about everyone finding their HG and then there's me. I especially don't see many members that joined around the same time I did. The realization just makes me sad and no amount of prayer, bargaining, wishing or hoping will change the fact that my skin will never make a comeback. I'm not stressed though - just done
It takes its toll doesn't it? My acne has only came back within the last month and I spent the first few days off work on sick days just crying. I'm mortified that I am back at sqaure one. Its one step forward and forty steps back sometimes but I am not stressed anymore. Whats the point? If I am gonna get a pimple, no amount of stressing is going to help.
I also HATEEEE how products take so bloody long to even show minor improvements like 2 years could pass and you could only realistically try out 2 to 3 different things.
Last week I was feeling pretty goodeven at its worst, my acne is never bad, but it pops up in unsightly places and is really noticable because of my pale skinbut I was looking particularly clear, and my mom even commented on it. Then, boom, two red pimples popped up on the left side of my cheek. Then this morning when I woke up, I had three white heads that had just popped up on the left side of my chin under my lip.
At the end of my school semester (so, around late April/May) I had noticed that my eye glasses were giving me breakouts on the left side of my nose, sort of between my eye and my nose where the frames rest. Wearing the glasses actually hides the redness, etc., but that only irritates it more. I've decided about a week or so to tackle the issue head-on, and so have been wearing my contacts and using Stridex pads on my nose. Unfortunately I'm too afraid to go out in public like this, so I've been spending most of my time in my house. I'm going to the movies tonight with my friend and I think am going to just bite the bullet and wear contacts. I'm dreading it, but I think I'll feel better afterwards. I just want it to go away.
My back is covered in PIH, and has been for over a year. My stomach has only a few red marks on it, but they're all annoyingly obvious. I will not take my shirt off in public during the day; I even declined to go swimming with my friends yesterday because of it, which made me so sad becasue I really wanted to go out.
I'm just feeling so bad about the way I look ='( But writing all of this has helped a little bit!
Okay. Yesterday I felt awful. I have pimples that cluster together and sometimes crust and flake over. I used this one product that bleached the melanin on my cheeks so now I have a very noticeable uneven skin tone. I tried not to cry but it didn't work. Today I feel better. Maybe cause I took a shower and ate. Taking showers and putting on fresh clothes always makes me feel tremendously better.
I am feeling annoyed and defeated that at 36 I still stress over how my face looks each when I step out into the world. My face has improved over the years, but it takes it toll still being so self conscience about my face. Its still severely oily. I was actually looking forward to dry and wrinkle skin in my 30's thinking my oil would decrease. So embarrassing constantly having to blot my face and cover up my bumpy skin .
Why do all good things come an end... Yestersaday morning I was hapyy my skin was doing good and so I tought this is was a good opportunity for me to go out and put a little makeup to feel better about myself.
Everything was going great. Until I broke out in hives on my face (chronic urticaria). I was feeling so ugly plus in the city there was only pretty girls with nice makeup amd etc.. I just wanted to go home and cry. Wish is what I did.
But the bad stories doesnt end here. After so much hard crying (panick attack) i went to the bathroom and saw my skin around my eyes full of red pint points (petechiae) I was having such a pretty skin this the morning and in less then 6 hours it went to disgusting.
Now today I woke up with some bad pimples of course. My petechiae is still here and I will surelly like everyday break out in hives on my face. This next days days will be torture for me
i just want to sleep and never wake up :'(
I've been on accutane for five months and been relatively pimple-clear, although I still have a few tiny bumps and very red pigmentation. However, I was beginning to feel slightly more comfortable..
Then the past week I've broken out all around my jaw in about 7 whiteheads.. I never broke out there before! It's slightly discouraging to be breaking ouy still this far into treatment
Bad day for me, looked like I was making some improvement and now red marks popping up all over my jaw area and cheeks.
My diet is clean, I live a healthy and active lifestyle, I never had this problem growing up so there must be something that can cure this.
Literally give up with this shit.
Horrible day for me. Huge cysts and pimples apperead today. I look horrible I cryed all day. I even had a fight with my father cuz he doesnt understand.
I was feeling myself pretty 4 days ago and now I look ugly with this massive breakout (time of the month). I feel alone and horrible I just want to dissapear and never wake up.... I hate acne I HATE IT!!!!
Im feeling ok. My skin is making very slow progress. But progress nonetheless. I have finally accepted my bad skin for what it is right now. Its a battle I will be fighting for a long time and I need to accept it to grow from it and use my negative energy into trying to find my control or maybe cure! I used to have severe acne. Every cyst left a scar and insane PIH. I now have mild comedonal acne with maybe one papule at a time. Scars have faded and the only ones I still have are hidden when I wear my hair down. I have come this far (12 years) and improved it so my face isnt deformed from the HUMUNGOUS cysts so today I am proud of how far I have come with this battle. I can only continue and hope one day I can wake up, look in a mirror and say "you look good" one day... 
Since my cystic acne cleared up, I have been hypervigilant to any sort of growth on my face. Even the slightest bump scares me and I worry that my entire face will break out once again like it did 5 months ago when I had like a gazillion cysts. I have one new cyst on my jawline right now and even though it's just one, I find myself worrying that history is going to repeat itself all over again.
Acne is a never-ending battle. Even when it's gone, there's always this worry of it happening again. So done with this shit I just want to let go and live.