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I've woken up this morning and my forehead has absolutely exploded in zits overnight 
They're the really deep, inset ones that you can't get out at the moment either and not even my usual trusty Bare Minerals is covering them up! I'm due in work in an hour, and I'm just sitting here panicking because my skin looks absolutely terrible
Only 11 days until I can FINALLY, after almost 3 months of waiting, start accutane...
On the acne front, my skin is pretty good, but I had this really persistent dry skin patches that kept coming back around my nose since doing the caveman regimen. Regret that dumb regimen, even if it did help my skin heal a little.
I have started massaging those areas with jojoba oil for 10 minutes before I cleanse and it has cleared it up in a couple of days, so I'm going to keep that up. It seems like the oil builds up around there and then starts to flake off...yuck.
I'm in pretty bad shape. I've been visiting the derm daily for cortisone injections because I continue to get new cysts daily, and this is the only thing that stops inflammation. I'm so sad. I'm supposed to be on vacation right now. I canceled reservations for the entire week. How can I go when I'm getting new cysts daily? I didn't go to a concert a few nights ago because I didn't want anyone to see me. I really didn't think I'd have to go on Accutane, but I'm not so sure now... I don't want my face to turn all red and have hyper-pigmentation. My face has a pinkish undertone already. I don't want to breakout worse than I already am! Why is this happening?!
I'm too sad to cry. I force myself to eat because I know medicine will be better absorbed, but otherwise I have no appetite. My body is revolting and I can't do anything to stop it.
On the acne front, my skin is pretty good, but I had this really persistent dry skin patches that kept coming back around my nose since doing the caveman regimen. Regret that dumb regimen, even if it did help my skin heal a little.
I have started massaging those areas with jojoba oil for 10 minutes before I cleanse and it has cleared it up in a couple of days, so I'm going to keep that up. It seems like the oil builds up around there and then starts to flake off...yuck.
Jojoba oil is the bomb. I mix it with a teaspoon of tea tree oil and one teaspoon of lavender oil and really impressed with the results.
My skin seems to be doing better in general, although it's as red as a tomato, and now my breakouts are happening under my skin. Pretty sure I burned it a bit from using too much AHA. Gonna cut back on that and just use it every 2-3 days instead of every day with the moisturizer. Lesson learned.
Today, I feel like I have for the past couple weeks.. really depressed. I know it's sad and pathetic to be this down about it but it's just so hard to wake up in the morning and the first you see (and what everyone else sees) is big inflamed red marks and scars that won't go away! It's very discouraging. I have my second microdermabrasion appointment Tuesday and I'm pretty excited. I just miss my clear skin! My whole family has wonderful skin and can eat whatever they want and sweat and all these things and they never get pimples. Most of the time I feel like God is punishing me, for what, I'm not sure. I pretty much cry myself to sleep every night. Having acne/scars has impacted my whole life negatively. I've nearly spent all the money I've worked for, trying to get nice skin again but nothing has worked. I don't know what to do..
Been a bit up and down today. I feel like I'm totally spent and I'm losing hope with my whole situation... again...
It will get better. It has to. Please. It just has to...
Clear people have no idea how lucky they are to have skin that doesn't look like it has been beatin with a barbed wired baseball bat. They are fucking clueless on how much hell a person has to endure mentally and physically yet they make stupid comments. Should I even be mad? Is it really their fault that they don't understand what it feels like to struggle through life just trying to look presentable for this fucking cruel world. Why I even try is beyond me.
Clear people have no idea how lucky they are to have skin that doesn't look like it has been beatin with a barbed wired baseball bat. They are fucking clueless on how much hell a person has to endure mentally and physically yet they make stupid comments. Should I even be mad? Is it really their fault that they don't understand what it feels like to struggle through life just trying to look presentable for this fucking cruel world. Why I even try is beyond me.
Well i am... i'm mad as hell at the f*ckers. ignorance isn't an excuse for them. imo f'em all day, everyday
On 8/9/2013 at 3:01 PM, fatalbert911 said:On 8/9/2013 at 1:28 PM, Sum1killme said:Clear people have no idea how lucky they are to have skin that doesn't look like it has been beatin with a barbed wired baseball bat. They are fucking clueless on how much hell a person has to endure mentally and physically yet they make stupid comments. Should I even be mad? Is it really their fault that they don't understand what it feels like to struggle through life just trying to look presentable for this fucking cruel world. Why I even try is beyond me.
Well i am... i'm mad as hell at the f*ckers. ignorance isn't an excuse for them. imo f'em all day, everyday
Just a thought though... we're probably 'ignorant' of other people's health related issues without intending to be ignorant or rude to anyone. Even something like diabetes can have quite an emotional strain / toll and stigma etc associated with it that people might not realise that (without having experienced it themselves, through someone they're close to or through studying it) and 'judge' someone for their condition or say something 'stupid' etc...
I know what you mean about someone being ignorant - but it's not just acne that people are ignorant of. It'd be great if everyone were more understanding of all different conditions / situations... but that's wishing for a perfect world.
On 8/9/2013 at 4:14 PM, Lilly75 said:On 8/9/2013 at 3:01 PM, fatalbert911 said:On 8/9/2013 at 1:28 PM, Sum1killme said:Clear people have no idea how lucky they are to have skin that doesn't look like it has been beatin with a barbed wired baseball bat. They are fucking clueless on how much hell a person has to endure mentally and physically yet they make stupid comments. Should I even be mad? Is it really their fault that they don't understand what it feels like to struggle through life just trying to look presentable for this fucking cruel world. Why I even try is beyond me.
Well i am... i'm mad as hell at the f*ckers. ignorance isn't an excuse for them. imo f'em all day, everyday
Just a thought though... we're probably 'ignorant' of other people's health related issues without intending to be ignorant or rude to anyone. Even something like diabetes can have quite an emotional strain / toll and stigma etc associated with it that people might not realise that (without having experienced it themselves, through someone they're close to or through studying it) and 'judge' someone for their condition or say something 'stupid' etc...
I know what you mean about someone being ignorant - but it's not just acne that people are ignorant of. It'd be great if everyone were more understanding of all different conditions / situations... but that's wishing for a perfect world.
You can't compare an illnesses that you can't see, to one like acne that is so obvious you could stand out from a crowd of a hundred people. it's just not the same people today should have the common sense, to realise that it must be hard for people that are different. but no they just point & laugh. Afterward they wonder why society is such sh*t -_-, no they have no excuse. people are just ass's simple as that..
Clear people have no idea how lucky they are to have skin that doesn't look like it has been beatin with a barbed wired baseball bat. They are fucking clueless on how much hell a person has to endure mentally and physically yet they make stupid comments. Should I even be mad? Is it really their fault that they don't understand what it feels like to struggle through life just trying to look presentable for this fucking cruel world. Why I even try is beyond me.
Well i am... i'm mad as hell at the f*ckers. ignorance isn't an excuse for them. imo f'em all day, everyday
Just a thought though... we're probably 'ignorant' of other people's health related issues without intending to be ignorant or rude to anyone. Even something like diabetes can have quite an emotional strain / toll and stigma etc associated with it that people might not realise that (without having experienced it themselves, through someone they're close to or through studying it) and 'judge' someone for their condition or say something 'stupid' etc...
I know what you mean about someone being ignorant - but it's not just acne that people are ignorant of. It'd be great if everyone were more understanding of all different conditions / situations... but that's wishing for a perfect world
.
You can't compare an illnesses that you can't see, to one like acne that is so obvious you could stand out from a crowd of a hundred people. it's just not the same people today should have the common sense, to realise that it must be hard for people that are different. but no they just point & laugh. Afterward they wonder why society is such sh*t -_-, no they have no excuse. people are just ass's simple as that..
Yeah, I know they're not comparable - maybe I should have said something like hair loss - it can cause emotional strain etc for men and women - it's not just something physical. I know how annoying it is that people can be so ignorant of things but that's not going to change overnight. Maybe it will in however many years time because I think slowly people are becoming more aware of the mental / emotional sides of many conditions (including physical things like acne) and that will 'wake them up' maybe to how things are. But until then, no use blaming others for their ignorance is there? It doesn't change much and in my opinion just makes things worse because then you're in a more negative frame of mind.
Not too bad. Still got the remnants of a cyst on my right cheek and some hp on my right jawline and neck from a recent breakout. However there is nothing active and my left side is completely clear.
Hope you don`t mind acne.orgers` but I`d like to use this thread to conduct a kind of social experiment for myself. Last week at a CBT session, I had a photo taken of the right side of my face/neck. I was a little broken out at the time and the photo really freaked me out as I looked hideous. Still don`t think that I look great right now but I have cleared up a little bit and feel confident and comfortable enough to post a couple of photos I took of myself when I got home from work today. Here they are:
right side.
left side.
I`m a little bit anxious doing this as I worry what people will think of me. Just doing it as kind of test really to challenge some of the anxiety that I feel over my appearance. Hope you all go easy on me.
Not too bad. Still got the remnants of a cyst on my right cheek and some hp on my right jawline and neck from a recent breakout. However there is nothing active and my left side is completely clear.
Hope you don`t mind acne.orgers` but I`d like to use this thread to conduct a kind of social experiment for myself. Last week at a CBT session, I had a photo taken of the right side of my face/neck. I was a little broken out at the time and the photo really freaked me out as I looked hideous. Still don`t think that I look great right now but I have cleared up a little bit and feel confident and comfortable enough to post a couple of photos I took of myself when I got home from work today. Here they are:
Snapshot_20130808.JPG right side.
I`m a little bit anxious doing this as I worry what people will think of me. Just doing it as kind of test really to challenge some of the anxiety that I feel over my appearance. Hope you all go easy on me.
I think its barely noticeable, but I know you, personally, may feel different. Ive been following all of your posts since you're going thru CBT, as did I. I found it to be of little help, but thats probably because of my own attitude toward it and my closed mind. I have the mindset that "I see what I see, therefore, Im not blind, and others must see it too." I wish I could take my advice, but you're always your own worst critic. I could sit at my desk at work and work myself into a panic wondering how bad I look and there's all these people around me. Fact is, no one has ever said anything about it to me and it's my own mind playing tricks on me, because I let it. And because Im too stubborn to be more open-minded to therapy.
So bravo to you for trying to make it work for you. Im not getting better daily so I may just end up back for CBT w/ you.
Not too bad. Still got the remnants of a cyst on my right cheek and some hp on my right jawline and neck from a recent breakout. However there is nothing active and my left side is completely clear.
Hope you don`t mind acne.orgers` but I`d like to use this thread to conduct a kind of social experiment for myself. Last week at a CBT session, I had a photo taken of the right side of my face/neck. I was a little broken out at the time and the photo really freaked me out as I looked hideous. Still don`t think that I look great right now but I have cleared up a little bit and feel confident and comfortable enough to post a couple of photos I took of myself when I got home from work today. Here they are:
I`m a little bit anxious doing this as I worry what people will think of me. Just doing it as kind of test really to challenge some of the anxiety that I feel over my appearance. Hope you all go easy on me.
I think its barely noticeable, but I know you, personally, may feel different. Ive been following all of your posts since you're going thru CBT, as did I. I found it to be of little help, but thats probably because of my own attitude toward it and my closed mind. I have the mindset that "I see what I see, therefore, Im not blind, and others must see it too." I wish I could take my advice, but you're always your own worst critic. I could sit at my desk at work and work myself into a panic wondering how bad I look and there's all these people around me. Fact is, no one has ever said anything about it to me and it's my own mind playing tricks on me, because I let it. And because Im too stubborn to be more open-minded to therapy.
So bravo to you for trying to make it work for you. Im not getting better daily so I may just end up back for CBT w/ you.
Thanks goodz19.
You are so right when you say that you are your own worst critic. In the past when I was a teen and really did have bad acne, people used to poke fun and comment on my acne. These days, no one ever says anything derogatory really - yet I still somehow manage to convince myself that I look disgusting.
CBT isn`t a magic cure. Anyone who goes along to a CBT session and just sits back and expects the therapist to cure them of their hang-ups and anxieties is probably going to be disappointed. A lot of the work is done away from the sessions and that is really where you "challenge" some of your core beliefs. I do get periods where I think that maybe it is not working so well but I have found that the more work I put into it, the more benefits I get from it.
All the best.
Not too bad. Still got the remnants of a cyst on my right cheek and some hp on my right jawline and neck from a recent breakout. However there is nothing active and my left side is completely clear.
Hope you don`t mind acne.orgers` but I`d like to use this thread to conduct a kind of social experiment for myself. Last week at a CBT session, I had a photo taken of the right side of my face/neck. I was a little broken out at the time and the photo really freaked me out as I looked hideous. Still don`t think that I look great right now but I have cleared up a little bit and feel confident and comfortable enough to post a couple of photos I took of myself when I got home from work today. Here they are:
I`m a little bit anxious doing this as I worry what people will think of me. Just doing it as kind of test really to challenge some of the anxiety that I feel over my appearance. Hope you all go easy on me.
Wow GUNNKE your skin actually looks really good! Literally nothing like I expected from your posts at all. If I passed you in the street it genuinely would never even occur to me that you might have a problem with acne. I really hope you start to believe this about yourself someday soon! 
Not too bad. Still got the remnants of a cyst on my right cheek and some hp on my right jawline and neck from a recent breakout. However there is nothing active and my left side is completely clear.
Hope you don`t mind acne.orgers` but I`d like to use this thread to conduct a kind of social experiment for myself. Last week at a CBT session, I had a photo taken of the right side of my face/neck. I was a little broken out at the time and the photo really freaked me out as I looked hideous. Still don`t think that I look great right now but I have cleared up a little bit and feel confident and comfortable enough to post a couple of photos I took of myself when I got home from work today. Here they are:
I`m a little bit anxious doing this as I worry what people will think of me. Just doing it as kind of test really to challenge some of the anxiety that I feel over my appearance. Hope you all go easy on me.
I think its barely noticeable, but I know you, personally, may feel different. Ive been following all of your posts since you're going thru CBT, as did I. I found it to be of little help, but thats probably because of my own attitude toward it and my closed mind. I have the mindset that "I see what I see, therefore, Im not blind, and others must see it too." I wish I could take my advice, but you're always your own worst critic. I could sit at my desk at work and work myself into a panic wondering how bad I look and there's all these people around me. Fact is, no one has ever said anything about it to me and it's my own mind playing tricks on me, because I let it. And because Im too stubborn to be more open-minded to therapy.
So bravo to you for trying to make it work for you. Im not getting better daily so I may just end up back for CBT w/ you.
Thanks goodz19.
You are so right when you say that you are your own worst critic. In the past when I was a teen and really did have bad acne, people used to poke fun and comment on my acne. These days, no one ever says anything derogatory really - yet I still somehow manage to convince myself that I look disgusting.
CBT isn`t a magic cure. Anyone who goes along to a CBT session and just sits back and expects the therapist to cure them of their hang-ups and anxieties is probably going to be disappointed. A lot of the work is done away from the sessions and that is really where you "challenge" some of your core beliefs. I do get periods where I think that maybe it is not working so well but I have found that the more work I put into it, the more benefits I get from it.
All the best.
My guy just basically works from a textbook written by some other psych. I dunno. His approach was more challenging situations that I find myself in as opposed to your not repulsive because of this. I dont really have any troubles being in situations. Im uncomfortable, yes, but I get through. Alcohol helps tons
Gunnke,
The pics of your skin look great ! Really, can hardly see anything and like 'like moonlight' said , if I saw you on the street I would never think acne. I know it must have been difficult for you to post them after your experience with the therapist, but well done you ! And thanks for sharing..... I'm a little bit envious ! Lol.....
Thank you Moonlit River, Mesha and goodz19 for your responses. It really helps to know that you don`t think I look too bad even if there is a small part of me that thinks you are just being kind haha!
Wow GUNNKE your skin actually looks really good! Literally nothing like I expected from your posts at all. If I passed you in the street it genuinely would never even occur to me that you might have a problem with acne. I really hope you start to believe this about yourself someday soon!
Moonlit River I really hope so to. It is getting better but it is still a work in progress and I still have a way to go. By the way, just wanted to say thank you for your support. I`m a lot older than you and probably don`t have a whole lot in common with you but I can totally relate to a lot of the issues that you mention in your posts. As you have said to me, I hope you too can learn to like and accept yourself at some point in the future. Despite what you may think of yourself, you come across as being a very genuine, intelligent and kind-hearted girl - hopefully you will believe this for yourself someday.
Gunnke,
The pics of your skin look great ! Really, can hardly see anything and like 'like moonlight' said , if I saw you on the street I would never think acne. I know it must have been difficult for you to post them after your experience with the therapist, but well done you ! And thanks for sharing..... I'm a little bit envious ! Lol.....
Thanks Mesha - it means a lot. However I`m a little embarassed as there is really nothing about me that you should be envious of!
I know you`re having a tough time right now but hang in there. Our chats really help me - just knowing that there is someone out there who is of a similar age to me with some of the issues I have is comforting.
All the best - PM me anytime you want to chat or vent.
My guy just basically works from a textbook written by some other psych. I dunno. His approach was more challenging situations that I find myself in as opposed to your not repulsive because of this. I dont really have any troubles being in situations. Im uncomfortable, yes, but I get through. Alcohol helps tons
Think I`m pretty lucky with my therapist. At the start of each session, we draw up an agenda for the session and basically discuss things that I want to talk about. Then throughout the course of the session she will incorporate some CBT techniques. It works really well. At first I was a bit intimidated by her as she is dare I say it an attractive lady who is probably in her mid 30`s and I was worried about what she would think of me. However, I`ve built up quite a good relationship with her now and feel comfortable talking to her about anything.
I like your suggestion about alcohol. Only problem with that is that I obsess over everything that I eat and drink and probably would avoid it in case it broke me out lol!
First, I just want to apologize because I realise I keep talking to people on here and I'm getting names wrong. I have a condition called Fibromyalgia which has many, many symptoms I won't go in detail about here, coz this is for acne support, BUT it includes 'brain Fog' and when I get tired I literally cannot think / remember / be coherent. Apologies.
Gunnke, thanks too for your support. Massive help to know I'm not the only 40 year old still struggling along with this. Always good to chat.
Pics do look great and I'm not just being kind..too knackared and old for that ! ;/ best wishes.
Thank you Moonlit River, Mesha and goodz19 for your responses. It really helps to know that you don`t think I look too bad even if there is a small part of me that thinks you are just being kind haha!
Wow GUNNKE your skin actually looks really good! Literally nothing like I expected from your posts at all. If I passed you in the street it genuinely would never even occur to me that you might have a problem with acne. I really hope you start to believe this about yourself someday soon!
Moonlit River I really hope so to. It is getting better but it is still a work in progress and I still have a way to go. By the way, just wanted to say thank you for your support. I`m a lot older than you and probably don`t have a whole lot in common with you but I can totally relate to a lot of the issues that you mention in your posts. As you have said to me, I hope you too can learn to like and accept yourself at some point in the future. Despite what you may think of yourself, you come across as being a very genuine, intelligent and kind-hearted girl - hopefully you will believe this for yourself someday.
First off I guarantee I wasn't just being kind. I don't just think your skin doesn't look "too bad" (as you put it), I think it looks positively good! So much so that like Mesha I find myself slightly jealous of it haha. And please don't find that embarrassing because you should definitely be taking it as a compliment! No doubt it was hard earnt. Now you just need to learn to appreciate it a little more and gain some confidence in your appearance! Easier said than done I know, but posting those photos in the first place shows that you're definitely taking some positive steps along that road already and hopefully all these comments will help to dispel some of those negative beliefs as well 
I'm not sure how accurate that bit at the end is but thank you for saying it anyway, it was very sweet! I really appreciate all your kind support as well, especially how you're so willing to share your experiences to help other people even though that often involves delving into quite deep and personal feelings. As for me learning to accept myself someday... well... getting rid of this darn acne would be a really good start! Haha.
Well hello again, acne.org friends! I wanted to take some time off of acne.org to sort some things out and break my addiction to constant on-line research regarding acne, but I'm back now! I realized that I use google more so than acne.org for my research, and that acne.org is more of a place to vent for me.
Since the beginning of my "break", I have lessened the frequency of binge-picking my face. By binge-picking, I mean literally losing myself to the mirror and sitting for 1-2 hours picking, scratching and squeezing-- completely detaching myself from my own skin and treating it like a project rather than my own organ of protection. Then I step back and realize the horror that has happened on my face, all due to my own lack of control over my own two hands. I think I've only done this once or twice in a couple months. This is good because it's given my face time to heal.
But I've also had some of the worst breakouts of my life in the past two months. I'm starting to think that it has something to do with my Mirena IUD. I'm getting it removed within the month, for acne-related reasons and other reasons (depression, anxiety, no sex drive, etc super sad stuff).
Anyway, just wanted to say "I'M BACK!" and that my face isn't terrible but it's not amazing either. Could be worse!