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I feel better today...I got my blood tests back and I don't have diabetes, so that's good. Still couldn't find the cause of my numbness, I have been waking up in the middle of the night with both my hands numb, and sometimes my feet and back of my head. Scary. I'm starting a mega dose of D2 as the doctor prescribed to see if that will help my skin and the other symptoms. If the numbness doesn't subside, then I have to see a neurologist....I'm really hoping it's all stress related and nothing more.
Other than that, life is still a mess but I'm doing my best and that's all I can do.
Hope everyone is doing well
I feel better today...I got my blood tests back and I don't have diabetes, so that's good. Still couldn't find the cause of my numbness, I have been waking up in the middle of the night with
both my hands numb, and sometimes my feet
and back of my head. Scary. I'm starting a
mega dose of D2 as the doctor prescribed to
see if that will help my skin and the other
symptoms. If the numbness doesn't subside,
then I have to see a neurologist....I'm really
hoping it's all stress related and nothing more.
Other than that, life is still a mess but I'm doing my best and that's all I can do.
Hope everyone is doing well
That happens to me as well waking up with my arms,hands and legs numb. It is strange usually takes awhile for the feeling to come back, never thought it was related to diabeties tho. It may be stress related cause im pretty sure I have chronic stress. Damn it now I'm paranoid about diabetes.
Not good. At my CBT session today, I explained that I was feeling anxious due to the cyst that I have on my right cheekbone and the breakout on the right side of my neck. The therapist suggested that she take a photo with her mobile phone to prove that it isn`t as bad as I think and also to try to highlight other features and characteristics of my profile other than the "acne".
Even though I was anxious, I agreed to let her take a photo of the right side of my face and neck. The theory being that by looking at the photo afterwards, I would see that I don`t look that bad and my anxiety would reduce.
Big mistake! The photo made me look hideous - the cyst and the breakout on my neck just looked red, inflamed, bumpy and disgusting! The therapist tried to highlight other areas and features like my jawline and the contours of my face that other people may consider to be attractive but all I could see was disgusting "acne".
All in all, the session was a complete disaster and has made me feel even worse. What`s more, she still has that photo on her phone. I hope she deletes it because I don`t want to see it ever again!
You must feel repulsive and ugly, but you should not.
You are not a cyst walking on the street, you're a man with cyst, so what?
People could not care less about it!
And by the way, every people, at least the ones with a brain, won't judge you because of breakouts.
But I know it's hard, let's be brave, man!
Not good. At my CBT session today, I explained that I was feeling anxious due to the cyst that I have on my right cheekbone and the breakout on the right side of my neck. The therapist suggested that she take a photo with her mobile phone to prove that it isn`t as bad as I think and also to try to highlight other features and characteristics of my profile other than the "acne".
Even though I was anxious, I agreed to let her take a photo of the right side of my face and neck. The theory being that by looking at the photo afterwards, I would see that I don`t look that bad and my anxiety would reduce.
Big mistake! The photo made me look hideous - the cyst and the breakout on my neck just looked red, inflamed, bumpy and disgusting! The therapist tried to highlight other areas and features like my jawline and the contours of my face that other people may consider to be attractive but all I could see was disgusting "acne".
All in all, the session was a complete disaster and has made me feel even worse. What`s more, she still has that photo on her phone. I hope she deletes it because I don`t want to see it ever again!
You must feel repulsive and ugly, but you should not.
You are not a cyst walking on the street, you're a man with cyst, so what?
People could not care less about it!
And by the way, every people, at least the ones with a brain, won't judge you because of breakouts.
But I know it's hard, let's be brave, man!
Everything you say Mandarine is 100% correct - but it is easier said than done when you try to apply that logic to yourself. CBT on Tuesday wasn`t a pleasant experience but just got to put that behind me now.
Skinwise, I`m a little better but still a bit broken out on my neck. The cyst on my cheek shows no sign of going anytime soon. It`s that big and noticeable that it could have it`s own post code (zip code)! Painful to touch too.
More importantly, I feel more positive than I did a couple of days ago.
Scars have infested my face.They live in colonies and feed on my skin.They are like little rats.Rolling scars are the ministers.Box scars are the working class.With ice scars being the rich businessmen.The ministers being corrupt,i want to get rid of rolling scars...I want my face free of infestations of any kind 
...
I'm getting hallucinations.
# Scarface
I stopped taking Vitamin C because I read about how almost all ascorbic acid comes from the same source in the States, and is derived from genetically modified corn. Also that ascorbic acid is only one component of Vitamin C and taking just it throws off the balance and confuses the body.
I've also been using high pressure, warm to hot water directly on my face in the shower for a minute or more every day.
My skin is looking better and better every day. Still needs improvement though.
One source of major stress in my life has been lifted, hopefully things will look up from now on. I'm about to megadose on Vitamin D2, as per my new doctor's instructions. She's one of the highest rated holistic & western doctors in my area and has helped many people, so I decided to trust her. But I won't take 50,000IU in one sitting...I'll try to puncture the capsule and empty half of it so that I'll only take 25,000, which still seems like a lot for a small person like me.
Feeling slightly better today! It's stopped hurting now which probably helps. My face looks quite red with hyperpigmentation but it's all gone flat now with the exception of my forehead where I'm still battling the bumps a bit. Here's hoping for no backwards steps now! I'm hoping I might even be able to cover it properly with make-up soon and actually go out. It would be so nice to rejoin the human race!
Left side of my face is clear apart from one or two fading blemishes. However the right side of my face and neck is still a bit of a problem. The cyst on my cheek is still going strong and is now taking on a deep shade of purple. I know from past experience that these critters take a long time to go and leave hp for weeks afterwards. Still got one or two active zits on my neck as well.
Looking forward to tomorrow. It is Brighton Pride day and on a Saturday afternoon, I do voluntary work in a charity shop for a local charity. The shop is in a road where there are a lot of events taking place so should be fun and we should have one or two "interesting" customers. Quite a big turnaround for me as earlier in the week, there was no way I was going to go into work tomorrow.
I know I don`t look great right now but at least I`m feeling less anxious than I did earlier in the week. It`s hard but sometimes you just have to be brave, put yourself out there and crack on with things.
Hi guys. I don't post much anymore because things are mostly the same. But I wanted to report that I didn't break out AT ALL this past month, including with ovulation and before/during my period. I don't think that has happened....ever?
An entire month with zero acne? And I ate whatever I wanted this month, including sour cream, potatoes, etc. Things that always broke me out in the past. I even had a few bites of a gluten-free pizza from a restaurant that has gluten...something I never would have done. Nothing happened.
I think my eating disorder must have just weakened my digestion so bad that I couldn't digest anything for a long time, and this made me react to food and get acne. It's crazy but once I started eating everything again, my body slowly began learning how to process stuff. I guess this is why so many people who constantly eat junk seem to always have clear skin and so many people who are giving up food groups to heal end up with more acne. I don't know exactly what the answer is... but for me, eating a little bit of a huge variety of foods and not worrying about it seems to be the answer.... Along with properly medicating my skin, of course. But I think it's only a small part of it because in the past, I still always reacted to foods and broke out even while using the regimen... now... honestly this is the most perfect-looking skin I've ever had. I'm not trying to brag about it, but it's amazing and I used to have such horrible acne even 1 year ago. I can only pray it gives some of you guys hope.
I feel better today...I got my blood tests back and I don't have diabetes, so that's good. Still couldn't find the cause of my numbness, I have been waking up in the middle of the night with
both my hands numb, and sometimes my feet
and back of my head. Scary. I'm starting a
mega dose of D2 as the doctor prescribed to
see if that will help my skin and the other
symptoms. If the numbness doesn't subside,
then I have to see a neurologist....I'm really
hoping it's all stress related and nothing more.
Other than that, life is still a mess but I'm doing my best and that's all I can do.
Hope everyone is doing well
That happens to me as well waking up with my arms,hands and legs numb. It is strange usually takes awhile for the feeling to come back, never thought it was related to diabeties tho. It may be stress related cause im pretty sure I have chronic stress. Damn it now I'm paranoid about diabetes.
Maybe it's bad circulation? Mine has gotten worse lately...I'm guessing stress isn't helping at all. Have you tried any yoga positions before bed to get the blood flowing?
Felt great waking up this morning to only two active spots on my entire face! The rest of my face still has pigmentation but my skin is smooth apart from two relatively small spots! This is pretty much unheard of for me. I've never been so close to clear unless I took antibiotics for my skin. I'm only a little over a month on the regimen so I'm braced for breakouts to keep happening for a while longer, but I'm feeling great right now 
One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations?
On 8/3/2013 at 10:56 PM, Perseverance92 said:One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations?
that was certainly not inevitable.
by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.
sweet!
alcohol!
always!
u need a good shout now!
One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations?
that was certainly not inevitable.
by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.
sweet!
alcohol!
always!
u need a good shout n
Well didi, you may look at it and say i'm weak from within.But sometimes you break.I didn't eat anything bad for 20 days.Then it became too much for me and i indulged. I can't help. Maybe i need a good shout.But more than that i need my mother. When i get up in the morning and the first person i see is my mother,on those days i feel strengthened from within.I become circumspect and can always judge right from wrong.I live a disciplined life.I don't know...I miss my parents too much when i'm in college.Don't see them for 10 months sometimes... Home sickness makes me reckless,undisciplined and unhappy.Again,you may read my post and it may reinforce your perception about me.Me being a spoilt brat who complaints a lot.But the fact that i have to stay away from my home for another 4 years,It gives me a burning feeling.
Right now I'm in the process of taking serious steps to treat my acne scars. It really results in mixed feelings as I'm euphoric that my life is about to drastically change while at the same time I feel like shit thinking about how pathethic it is that my life is so influenced by my skin. It's really a tough process..
One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations?
that was certainly not inevitable.
by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.
sweet!
alcohol!
always!
u need a good shout n
Well didi, you may look at it and say i'm weak from within.But sometimes you break.I didn't eat anything bad for 20 days.Then it became too much for me and i indulged.
I can't help. Maybe i need a good shout.But more than that i need my mother. When i get up in the morning and the first person i see is my mother,on those days i feel strengthened from within.I become circumspect and can always judge right from wrong.I live a disciplined life.I don't know...I miss my parents too much when i'm in college.Don't see them for 10 months sometimes... Home sickness makes me reckless,undisciplined and unhappy.Again,you may read my post and it may reinforce your perception about me.Me being a spoilt brat who complaints a lot.But the fact that i have to stay away from my home for another 4 years,It gives me a burning feeling.
Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone needs to indulge once in a while. Just forget about it, and eat healthy the day after to make up for it. As for homesickness, I can relate. I haven't seen my family in almost 2 years and am too broke to afford a plane ticket to go visit them. Talking with your family on the phone or skype can help though.
One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations?
that was certainly not inevitable.
by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.
sweet!
alcohol!
always!
u need a good shout n
Well didi, you may look at it and say i'm weak from within.But sometimes you break.I didn't eat anything bad for 20 days.Then it became too much for me and i indulged.
Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone needs to indulge once in a while. Just forget about it, and eat healthy the day after to make up for it. As for homesickness, I can relate. I haven't seen my family in almost 2 years and am too broke to afford a plane ticket to go visit them. Talking with your family on the phone or skype can help though.
...2 years? Oh dear... and i was cribbing about my 10 months.
One of my closest friend left our college for a semester abroad program to Dubai yesterday.They made it a whiskey night.He hugged me and said "For friendship's sake".I couldn't say no for obvious reasons.I ended up drinking 9 pegs.With a pathetic hangover i'm typing this.I'm going to have an even pathetic breakout now.Because i know it for a fact that alcohol sabotages my skin.How am i supposed to avoid such inevitable situations?
that was certainly not inevitable.
by now i feel u r a lil' too early to give in.always.
sweet!
alcohol!
always!
u need a good shout n
Well didi, you may look at it and say i'm weak from within.But sometimes you break.I didn't eat anything bad for 20 days.Then it became too much for me and i indulged.
Don't be too hard on yourself, everyone needs to indulge once in a while. Just forget about it, and eat healthy the day after to make up for it. As for homesickness, I can relate. I haven't seen my family in almost 2 years and am too broke to afford a plane ticket to go visit them. Talking with your family on the phone or skype can help though.
...2 years? Oh dear...
i dnt think u're a spoilt brat now.
i used to think that earlier at times.this just makes u seem more attached and more emotional than others ur age.i totally relate because thats just my story.
the exception being when and if am gone to hostel ,i just cant be away for so many mnths at a stretch so either my mum visits me or i come to her.
in the beginning it will be as often as once a mnth visit may be.lol!
then i'd fly here on bigger festivals and she'll come visit very 2-3 mnths.
thankfully its easier and cheaper to book flights these days from these online sites
My skin is better this morning than it has been for a while. Apart from the cyst on my cheek, there is nothing else active. Got some hp on my neck but as the breakout there was quite small, it should fade quite quickly.
I`m feeling happier in myself than I did earlier in the week and it is ONLY because I perceive my skin and appearance to be a bit better. Your happiness should not be dependent on the state of your skin - you need to be able to like and accept yourself period! It is something I need to keep working on.
she
Well I was feeling more positive for most of the day. My skin is clearing up a bit with all the treatments I'm using and getting flatter and smoother everyday but it still looks absolutely horrific in the mirror because most of it is covered in really bad hyperpigmentation along with all the active stuff.
Unfortunately I made the mistake of watching a romantic film on the TV this evening and it reminded me how it's going to be totally impossible for anybody to ever love me with a face like mine. I'm destined to be alone my whole life. Now I'm sitting in my room crying in front of a computer like a pathetic little loser. When will this cycle of misery ever end?!!
Oh no
I know what you mean and I think the same things about myself - 'how could someone love me when I look the way I do'. I have to remind myself though that there is more to me than how I look, and there are loads of people out there who have acne and who are in happy relationships - so why wouldn't that happen for me some day? It's just a matter of meeting the right person - Which may not exactly be easy, but that doesn't mean it's impossible!
I get what you mean about your skin right now too - I'm dealing with the same thing. Slowly, everything is healing and my skin is getting smoother but it in no way looks clear because of all the hyperpigmentation I have! Quite frustrating... but hopefully something like AHA will help when I start to use it. Have you tried that or anything else for pigmentation before?
>My face decided to throw the fuck up today, I haven't changed a damn thing in months, I was a fool for believing it was over. Some people deserve to be put out of their misery.
FUCK.
What have you been doing for your skin? Maybe it's time to try another treatment?
Hope things improve for you soon! Hang in there!
Yeh, it was quite a good film but definitely a bad idea from a self-esteem perspective! You're right that there's definitely more to us than how we look, but to be honest I'm not too fond of my own personality in any case, or of anything about myself in fact! Sad but true. I don't really feel like I have anything going for me at all though I know this is probably a biased perspective.
Hyperpigmentation is such a nightmare isn't it?! I should be happy that my skin is slowly clearing but the fact is because of the redness it doesn't actually look much better than it did anyway. I've tried lemon juice but that did absolutely nothing and I tried aloe vera but it just made me break out even more. I'm a bit dubious about trying AHA because 1. I think it would break me out and 2. I avoid anything that has an exfoliating effect because there is a history of psoriasis in my family and I don't want to bring that on on top of the acne! Do you know of anything else that helps with hyperpigmentation but doesn't exfoliate?
Sunscreen helps! I'm seriously not kidding. Sunscreen really helps it to fade by not allowing it to get worse, you know? If you want to be thorough, layer chemical and physical sunscreens.
So, I haven't worn foundation in a while. I keep figuring this out the hard way, but even mineral foundation just breaks me out. It's so gradual with most foundations that I don't notice it until I have to stop wearing it for some reason and my skin clears up some as a result. I'll wear eyeliner and mascara, though. It helps me feel more confident about the no foundation thing.
Cool story you guys. Queen Elizabeth wore lead makeup to cover up her smallpox scars, even though they really weren't all that visible. She wore her inches of makeup even on her deathbed -- wouldn't be seen without it. Lead literally will burn the skin off of your face over time. And of course, you get lead poisoning. Interesting, huh? She had reason to be one of the most confident women ever (she reigned over England for 45 years.) Made me feel a little better about my insecurities. Less pathetic, lol.
My hair is still falling out. I got an abnormal thyroid test and thought we had finally found the problem. Only to get the more detailed T3, T4, TSH tests normal the second time. So I have to re-take in a month. Meanwhile, my mane get's thinner and looks just awful. I don't know what to do with it. It looks awful in a thin braid, looks bad in a ponytail, and looks bad down. *sigh* whatever.
I've been working on medical school apps. I thought I was done, only to have one of my professors read my statement and tell me it was too intense and that she would question my readiness for medical school if she were on the admissions committee. That was such great news. -______- Especially, since the essay just feels so "right" and most other people really loved it. Of course, it pales in comparison to my usual writing, but that's because my writing style is leisurely. I take my time with the words, so that they flow into each other and into a picture. I love the way I write; sometimes I look at it and wonder that I could have actually written something like that. But my personal statement isn't an amazing work of writing. That still doesn't change its honesty and how much it resonates with me. I had my reasons!
I really should exercise instead of Netflix binging in my spare time like I've been doing.
My skin is better this morning than it has been for a while. Apart from the cyst on my cheek, there is nothing else active. Got some hp on my neck but as the breakout there was quite small, it should fade quite quickly.
I`m feeling happier in myself than I did earlier in the week and it is ONLY because I perceive my skin and appearance to be a bit better. It is something I need to keep working at. Your happiness should not be dependent on the state of your skin - you need to be able to like and accept yourself period!
It really helps if you find other things to tack your happiness onto. Something to strive for, something in which you hold potential. A long term challenge that occupies your mind and your passion.