Acne.org Products
Loving my skin today. When I went to the mirror ready to put my face of make-up on, I smiled. No active acne and my face looked brighter and fresher. So instead of the full face of foundation I usually apply to cover up spots and even out my skin tone, I just went for undereye concealer and a little powder. I haven't felt this good in my skin in a while. I hope everyone else has a good day too. 
Ended up having a really good day! It was my first day of my placement / work experience I have to do for uni and it's for an organisation that works with children - so I was worried that kids would ask about my skin / ask what's wrong with it. I was also concerned about being in a professional work environment and looking ridiculous for still having acne. But, like usual, I was worried over nothing. One of the ladies I'm working with (who happens to also work as a speech therapist - which is what I'm thinking of studying a masters in after my current degree) has skin issues too and I heard her say today was the first time when working with a client that they mentioned/asked about her skin (after years of her working with kids). So that makes me feel a lot better about being in an environment with kids. It wouldn't have bothered me too much if a kid did ask me, I'd just rather the situation be avoided - but I know it's not something that can be controlled. The people I'm working with all seem really nice and I'm feeling pretty comfortable working there at the moment. Hopefully it all continues well for the rest of the semester 
The only bad thing about today was that I didn't apply the regimen fully this morning either... I used only a tiny amount of BP in the morning, when I'm at the stage where I should keep using the full amount morning and night. I also did this yesterday. So that's two days in a row I haven't done the regimen properly in the morning but I have at night...
I'm about to head out to meet friends to go ice skating tonight, so that should be fun... or funny (for people watching) because I haven't ice skated before 
Who knows... I could log on tomorrow and have something like a broken wrist to complain about instead of acne Hopefully not though!
Had another CBT session. Discussed at length the recent hot spell we have had in the UK and how it has made me feel inferior due to everyone that I see out and about appearing to be attractive, confident, tanned and clear-skinned.
The therapist asked me to provide evidence that I am inferior and I couldn`t. No one has said that I`m inferior, ugly, etc, etc. It is only MY belief. After the session, I went for a walk and then popped into a coffee shop - no one looked at me as if I was repulsive, no one turned away from me. Doesn`t mean that I automatically love and adore myself but just talking about how I feel and then doing something immediately after the session has at least given me some evidence to challenge MY belief about myself.
Just thought I would share this to show how CBT works. The theory is that by repeatedly doing tasks and experiments such as I have today, you will keep challenging the thought/belief and eventually it will disperse. It does take a lot of work though and most of that is done away from the CBT sessions.
Blah! Skin almost clear. I am dieting for weight loss, pants don't fit right. I am hungry, but determined. Skin tends to clear up when I don't over eat. Even when I over eat what would be considered healthy foods my skin quality decreases. Hmm . . . Maybe I should start a thread. . .
Blah! Skin almost clear. I am dieting for weight loss, pants don't fit right. I am hungry, but determined. Skin tends to clear up when I don't over eat. Even when I over eat what would be considered healthy foods my skin quality decreases. Hmm . . . Maybe I should start a thread. . .
Heu... don't stop to eat because of acne.
wow.... haven't been able to log.... work schedule won't allow it, but here's an update..... I still have breakouts (guessing because of the hormones...) this july would be my last dose of 2nd course Accutane and I hope i'm gonna be off for good...... breakouts are not as bad as they used to but still sucks...
downward spiral everytime I feel like my face is UGH...
anyway.... WORK keeps my mind off my face...zits.... good thing......
Had a really good day. I think my skin is less oilier overall, which is awesome. I definitely think the Spiro and Aczone are helping this. Overall I got 2 zits at my hormonal time, when normally I get more than that, and usually at least one painful, deep one. This time I didn't get those, only 2 small ones that literally were healing within one day. So I think everything is going well. I may still inquire about raising my dosage of Spiro just to see if that can fully prevent breakouts from happening at all. We'll see. But I really like Spiro - hasn't made me dizzy, fatigued or anything. And I've been off Mino for 2 weeks now.
My skin looks good right now, only one red mark from a recent zit. I felt confident enough to go on a run today with no makeup on, so that was good.
Well - no broken bones to complain about! I didn't fall over once ice skating - which is amazing for my usually clumsy self I definitely came close though - so I'm sure the sight of that would have made a few people laugh - but that's ok - that's the sort of thing where I can easily laugh at myself too.
It was good to get out and have a fun time with some friends (that I don't see that often now) and meet a few new people too.
Hope everything is going well for you all at the moment, and if it's not, have hope that it will get better soon. Hang in there!
Focusing on all my shortcomings today. Would like to blame acne for my procrastination and feeling like a hermit, but I'm not sure I can. Thought my skin was healing. . . Old blemishes are flaring up again and new ones are bulging beneath the surface. New tea is coming in the mail today, can't wait to try.
Breaking out bad the last few days. Possible causes (feel free to suggest what you think is the culprit!):
-Been working in construction, sweating a lot and getting dirt on my face
-Washed my face two days in a row with Dove Beauty Bar (hardly ever use any face wash, haven't used bar soap in years)
-Aloe vera spray with citric acid and preservatives (didn't break me out the first two times but maybe it took a week)
-Had a couple sugary drinks 2 days ago, one of them with a meal which I never do
-Vitamin C
-Coming off Prednisone which I took for 5 days for poison ivy
-Was using hydrocortisone cream on my forehead... for the PI... no acne there but maybe it spread through my skin?
-Less sleep
Feel shitty and then when family and friends suddenly pause in mid conversation, survey your face and gasp in shock and say, "OMG what has happened to your face?!" Or, "why have you got so many zits?" (This happened in the middle of a busy market).
Can I control my skin???? ..
NO
Uneducated fools.
Period.
I really want clear skin like 98% of the population. It would be great. Feeling like I have been held back in life for too long, makes my fuckin stomach hurt just thinking about it.
I was going through hell for the past 6 months. Cystic acne all over my face and was dealing with full time work as an on-site support and doing part-time uni. The amount of times I had to face people I was self-conscious every minute of the day wishing for it to end.
But now acne has cleared up dramatically and just dealing with PIH and 1 rather massive active pimple that sprung to life today :/
You just need to keep reminding yourself that better days are to come and while on the surface it may hold you back on some aspects of life, make sure it doesn't affect the more important things in life. (ie was close to skipping all lectures,tutes and failing. calling in sick to work so I don't need to face clients)
Now that I reflected back on my last 6 months, I feel I can cope with acne better mentally and don't let it control my life as much.
I don't feel like I can do this anymore.
Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. <3
I don't feel like I can do this anymore.
Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. <3
Thank you! Reading this actually made me cry. I've been feeling suicidal again lately and I've been in a really dark, depressed place, and it's really scary. Your hopeful words and support have made me feel a little better and have encouraged me to stay strong. I'll try to hang in there. Thank you for being a friend. You are always so kind and sweet. <3
I don't feel like I can do this anymore.
Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. <3
Thank you! Reading this actually made me cry. I've been feeling suicidal again lately and I've been in a really dark, depressed place, and it's really scary. Your hopeful words and support have made me feel a little better and have encouraged me to stay strong. I'll try to hang in there. Thank you for being a friend. You are always so kind and sweet. <3
'The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen' - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
I don't feel like I can do this anymore.
Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. <3
Thank you! Reading this actually made me cry. I've been feeling suicidal again lately and I've been in a really dark, depressed place, and it's really scary. Your hopeful words and support have made me feel a little better and have encouraged me to stay strong. I'll try to hang in there. Thank you for being a friend. You are always so kind and sweet. <3
'The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen' - Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
very true and beautiful,really!
i'll make this my status for a while!
The last couple days have not been good. I've tried to "not care," I've tried saying, "F--- it, this is who I am," but it's hard to do that every. single. day. Every day is a fight and having the energy to put yourself out there in the world and pretend you look normal and ignore stares, pretend like they don't bother you, to just to go home and see you have yet another large cyst.
You try to eat the best you can everyday (no dairy, no simple carbs, no alcohol), you don't touch your face, you wash and treat your face exactly how your derm has instructed. You take the medications EXACTLY as prescribed, and even though they give you a wicked stomach ache, you say it's worth it because I will have less cysts some day. Then you wake up the next day only to find one, two or three more. You would like to enjoy a beer and have some pretzels on occasion, but I'll be darned if you would like to just have one GD meal where you can actually enjoy yourself and not worry if having a carb or ice cream cone will make you break out. Everything gets analyzed and assessed as to how it will affect your skin. Get sun, but not too much, wear sunscreen, but it may make you breakout. Before you know it, nothing is enjoyable anymore and all your time is spent wondering how things will affect your skin. Oh, and above all, don't stress out. Right. That's super easy.
Tell me how to fix this. I'll do it. But no one can.
There is so much advice out there on what to do, what not do that you try to remember all the advice and wonder if you forgot just the one tiny thing that is the "answer" to all of it! Is the Cod Liver Oil pills making it worse? Am I taking too much Zinc? Not enough? Should I take Zinc with food? Do I start taking Calcium too? What about D3? I've been told it's in the normal range, but that's supposed to help. Do I take that? Eat eggs, don't eat meat, ok, eat meat, but not too much. I could go on and on with advice I've read.
There is SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE and I completely understand that causes of acne can vary. Totally get that. But it would be nice if some day someone could figure out the cause with a simple test that is clear and accurate. The test will immediately say causation is diet, hormones, whatever. All I know is it feels like there's one or two serious medications out there that seem to temporarily fix acne, but they are not full proof.
I hate feeling so down about this. There are people who are much worse conditions. I try to remember that when I get down. The fight gets harder when you feel like nothing is working.
The last couple days have not been good. I've tried to "not care," I've tried saying, "F--- it, this is who I am," but it's hard to do that every. single. day. Every day is a fight and having the energy to put yourself out there in the world and pretend you look normal and ignore stares, pretend like they don't bother you, to just to go home and see you have yet another large cyst.
You try to eat the best you can everyday (no dairy, no simple carbs, no alcohol), you don't touch your face, you wash and treat your face exactly how your derm has instructed. You take the medications EXACTLY as prescribed, and even though they give you a wicked stomach ache, you say it's worth it because I will have less cysts some day. Then you wake up the next day only to find one, two or three more. You would like to enjoy a beer and have some pretzels on occasion, but I'll be darned if you would like to just have one GD meal where you can actually enjoy yourself and not worry if having a carb or ice cream cone will make you break out. Everything gets analyzed and assessed as to how it will affect your skin. Get sun, but not too much, wear sunscreen, but it may make you breakout. Before you know it, nothing is enjoyable anymore and all your time is spent wondering how things will affect your skin. Oh, and above all, don't stress out. Right. That's super easy.
Tell me how to fix this. I'll do it. But no one can.
There is so much advice out there on what to do, what not do that you try to remember all the advice and wonder if you forgot just the one tiny thing that is the "answer" to all of it! Is the Cod Liver Oil pills making it worse? Am I taking too much Zinc? Not enough? Should I take Zinc with food? Do I start taking Calcium too? What about D3? I've been told it's in the normal range, but that's supposed to help. Do I take that? Eat eggs, don't eat meat, ok, eat meat, but not too much. I could go on and on with advice I've read.
There is SO MUCH INFORMATION OUT THERE and I completely understand that causes of acne can vary. Totally get that. But it would be nice if some day someone could figure out the cause with a simple test that is clear and accurate. The test will immediately say causation is diet, hormones, whatever. All I know is it feels like there's one or two serious medications out there that seem to temporarily fix acne, but they are not full proof.
I hate feeling so down about this. There are people who are much worse conditions. I try to remember that when I get down. The fight gets harder when you feel like nothing is working.
You've summed it up! EVERYTHING becomes a problem; food & drink, cosmetics, temperature, exercise, PILLOWS. Ugh.
On 7/25/2013 at 12:15 PM, TheSavyBanana said:On 7/25/2013 at 9:53 AM, Randall Flagg said:On 7/24/2013 at 6:29 AM, TheSavyBanana said:I don't feel like I can do this anymore.
Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. <3
Thank you! Reading this actually made me cry. I've been feeling suicidal again lately and I've been in a really dark, depressed place, and it's really scary. Your hopeful words and support have made me feel a little better and have encouraged me to stay strong. I'll try to hang in there. Thank you for being a friend. You are always so kind and sweet. <3
i read ur blog too!
am sorry u had to go through so much darling.but u know what?its just made u who u r.
its just made u realise the difference between being good and mean.
its made u beautiful inside and no one can change that.no one can beat that!
*hugs*
My problem neck area has broken out a bit again. Also, some critter/insect/mozzy has taken a liking to me and I`m currently sporting some lovely red bug bites on the inside of my right forearm. You will probably think I`m totally mad but I`m sooooo conscious anytime I get any sort of blemish - it makes me feel disfigured somehow. Hopefully they won`t last too long but in the meantime, I will be wearing long-sleeve shirts at work.
I don't feel like I can do this anymore.
Hey Savy, just wanted to tell you that you can do this! It's really hard and I know what it's like to go through really dark periods where you feel hopeless, but just remember if you keep your head up and keep moving forward you'll get through the worst parts of life and come out a stronger person as a result. Try and hang tough and just do the best you can. I read your blog and you're a very courageous and inspirational person, I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope things get better soon. <3
Thank you! Reading this actually made me cry. I've been feeling suicidal again lately and I've been in a really dark, depressed place, and it's really scary. Your hopeful words and support have made me feel a little better and have encouraged me to stay strong. I'll try to hang in there. Thank you for being a friend. You are always so kind and sweet. <3
Savybanana, I have just read your blog and as Flagg has said, to have been through everything that you have and come through those times shows just how courageous and brave you are.
I don`t know you, probably have very little in common with you and I`m old enough to be your dad but I can totally relate to what it feels like to go through dark periods and feel hideous, worthless, hopeless and repulsive. I`m currently having CBT which helps but I still get days and times where the self-loathing thoughts and lack of self worth are too overpowering to challenge.
Really sorry that you are going through such a tough time right now. However, you CAN and you WILL get through this. You`ve done it before and you can do it again. There are lots of people on this forum who are rooting for you and I`m sure that you have loved ones around you who will support you in the best way that they can. You are a fantastic person inside and out and have everything to live for.
Look after yourself Savy - my thoughts are with you.
sometimes i feel so bad about some people here.i mean there are loads who are so warm and nice and understanding.
i thank them.
but i cant deny their are ignorant and ,lets say, irritating ones too.
it makes me think may be i too have hurt someone unintentionally.
so today i say 'sorry'.
sorry if i have ever hurt u and i have ever made u feel bad about anything.
u dont deserve it.
my bad.
